The World Through His Eyes
by The Purple Ghost
Summary: When a failed attempt with a minor spell causes Kagome to loose her sight, she gets the unique opportunity to see the world through our favorite hanyou's eyes...literally...Now Complete
1. Changes

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The World Through His Eyes 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. I probably don't even own this idea…because let's face it…there's nothing new under the sun, people. I hope I can pull this idea off with some originality though. Also, I guess you could say this is kinda AU…but it takes place in the cannon universe…erg…just read…Oh, and by the way, I certainly don't own Changes by 3 Doors Down. 

This chapter has been revised. Due to new rule about lyrics being included in stories I have decided to take out all of the songs that I have been putting in the beginning of the story to set the mood.

Chapter One: Changes

_I'm not supposed to be scared of anything, _

_Darkness. Cold. Fear._

Glazed over blue-grey eyes stared unseeing at the ceiling of the small hut.

_Loneliness. Despair. Weakness._

With trembling limbs and shaking hands, she lay on her futon curled into a small ball.

_She was alone._

_She was afraid._

_She couldn't see…_

Being blind had always been her worst nightmare. There had been times in her childhood when she would wake up screaming from dreams of eternal darkness. Now those dreams had become her reality.

Kagome tried to disguise her sobs behind dry coughs. She didn't want Inuyasha or the others she shared the small sleeping chamber with to hear her, but she didn't try to hide her tears. What was the point? After all, this was his human night. He couldn't smell the saltiness anyway.

Memories of the accident played on the blank screen of her mind. Tormenting her because she couldn't open her eyes and rid herself of their images… 

**_The sun shone through the breaks in the trees with a gentle light. A few young girls from the village diligently carried water from the hot springs for the elderly women who were washing their laundry. Other young women could be seen gleaning herbs from among the tall grasses of the forest. All in all it was a very peaceful scene. _**

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**_To Kagome, it looked like something she'd seen on a postcard once when she was a child. A very simple picture of happiness. The only thing that ruined this happy picture was that_****_ she wasn't happy. In fact she was seething with frustration. The morning had started out so wonderful and full of promise. There had been no shard rumors to investigate, no people to save, and best of all she had no homework because she was on spring break back in her time. Kagome hadn't even minded when Kaede had suggested lessons in taming her rogue miko skills._**

**_That's when the trouble had begun. Even the simplest of rudimentary spells seemed impossible for her to perform today. She couldn't purify water, or heal even the smallest cut on a child's body. And forget about the harder things like lighting a candle or coaxing seeds to grow. To get to the point…She was a failure. _**

**_"I can't do this! I must be the worst miko on the face of the planet!" Kagome thunked her head repeatedly on the tree she had been leaning up against. _**

_"Nay child, you are just untrained. You will catch on in good time. Why it took my sister, Kikyou, many years of study to prefect her miko powers." _

**_'Everything always leads back to Kikyou doesn't it?' _**

**_"But I don't have years! I need to learn now so I can actually fight." Kagome felt a flutter of desperation in the pit of her stomach. _**

**_"Keh, like knowing how to use your miko energy would even help your sorry fighting skills, bitch." _**

**_'And Inuyasha always has to see me when I'm at my worst.' _**

**_"I can so fight!" she declared as she glared up at the limb he had taken as his perch. _**

**_Kagome was convinced there was some bird demon in the hanyou's distant past. That's the only way she could explain his obsession with trees. _**

**_"Sure, like you fought last week? Your arrow missed that huge fire-fly demon by a mile." _**

**_Kagome felt her ire rise. How dare he say that to her? _**

**_"It wasn't a mile! And anyway, it wasn't my fault that it was flying so fast!" _**

**_Inuyasha smirked down at her and then yawned loudly, "If it makes you feel better to tell yourself that bitch, then be my guest." He jumped down from the limb and began walking away as if he had something better to do than sit there and watch her struggle for the rest of the day. Kagome could feel her anger begin to overwhelm her. Suddenly, it was all too much for her. His hateful words, and the frustration of her failed attempt to channel her latent miko ability, caused Kagome to feel as if she would burst._**

**_'He had no right to speak to me like that then just dismiss me.' Those words repeated over and over in her head, getting louder and louder until something inside her snapped. Suddenly there was a wellspring of power bubbling up inside her. It was uncomfortably hot, seeming to scorch her insides. Kagome didn't care though, because for the first time she had a steady power stream to draw on. She finally had something she could use to show Inuyasha she wasn't useless. _**

**_"INUYASHA!" he heard her scream his name right before he felt the waves of spiritual energy wash over the area, "You want some proof that I'm not useless! Well, here's your damn proof!" Kagome pointed at the discarded candle sitting a few feet away. _**

**_"Child no!" Kaede cried. Kagome's energy was too concentrated, too pure to be used without dangerous side effects, but it was too late. The candle and everything within a four-foot radius of it went up in an intense white-hot flash. Everyone was shocked and blinded for a moment as the hair stood up on the backs of their necks. The flame stayed in the air for a moment then slowly dwindled down. _**

**_"Kagome! Stupid little girl! You could have killed some one!" Inuyasha hurried over to her. She didn't respond to him. She just stood there trembling violently, staring at the scorched ground. He grabbed her shoulders and swung her around toward him. _**

**_"Bitch—" _**

**_"Inuyasha…I can't…I can't…see—" her voice was weak and her skin was cold to the touch. She started to sway on her feet. He caught her as she fell toward the ground. _**

**_"Baba, what's the matter with her?" Inuyasha growled toward the elder miko as he cradled Kagome in his arms. _**

**_"She has used too much too fast, Inuyasha. With some rest she will be fine." _**

**_But it had not been that simple. Nothing would ever be that simple again. _**

Inuyasha sat a few feet away from Kagome and watched her shoulders shake as her body was racketed with "coughs". He knew she was really crying, he didn't need a working nose to figure that out. Inuyasha wanted badly to reach out to her, but he didn't know what to do, what to say…Hell, how could he comfort her when _he_ was still in shock.

The memory of the exact moment she found out she couldn't see would be forever engraved upon his mind. He had been sitting beside her for 3 days waiting for her to wake up, growling at anyone who so much as looked like they wanted to suggest he rest. Kaede just kept telling him to be patient, and Shippou kept telling him that it had to be his fault some how. In short, it was three days of hell for Inuyasha. But if the waiting was torture, then what came next was pain in its most unadulterated form.

On the morning of the fourth day, a few hours before Miroku and Sango were scheduled to return from the near-by village they had been called to, Kagome's eyes fluttered open. Shippou immediately pounced on her, crying about how worried he was. Inuyasha had taken more time to move over to her side so that the brat would have a moment with Kagome before he sent him out of the room, despite wanting to kick him out immediately. Hey, he wasn't always mean to the small kit.

"Hey, Shippou. It's really dark in here. I bet every one else is sleeping so you'd better not wake them up," She whispered to him as she sat up. Shippou looked at her strangely, and Inuyasha felt a chill run up his spine at her words.

"But Kagome, it's lunch time!" He cocked his head to the side and patted her cheek with his small paw, "Can't you see me?"

"No…it has to be dark. I can't see you at all." The strangeness in her voice sent Inuyasha's ears twitching.

"Kagome…" That was Inuyasha's voice. Kagome swung around to face where his voice seemed to be coming from.

"No…this has to be a joke…I want some one to turn the lights on now!" She was starting to get desperate. Kagome tried to stand up but she was too weak. Inuyasha caught her before she could crash into the floor. She fought against him weakly, continually insisting that she wanted out of the dark. When her shrieks reached the point of hysteria he could take it no longer.

"Shippou, go get Kaede-baba! NOW!" The terrified kit took one look at his struggling mother figure before dashing out the door and up toward the temple where the older miko was supposed to be.

"Kagome, you have to calm down. Just breath. Don't fight me." Inuyasha was trying his best to calm her down, but she seemed to not be able to her him.

"I hate the dark! Inuyasha, please, get me out of the dark!" She was sobbing now, pleading with him, and he could do nothing. At that moment he knew what it felt like to feel totally helpless.

The only way to calm her down had been a badly smelling tea Inuyasha helped Kaede pour down her throat. That had been two days ago, and the process had had to be repeated almost every time she woke up.

Now, she was laying there crying softly and he felt as if he was the lowest worm on the planet.

_'If only I hadn't teased her she might not have gotten so mad. I only did it because…well…she's cute when she's mad.'_

He moved closer to her and put his hand on her shoulder. She immediately stiffened.

"Keh…It's just me, Kagome. Are you okay?" He whispered close to her ear as to not wake up the others, although he was sure most of them were awake.

"I'm….I'm sorry I woke you up." Kagome's voice caught in her throat painfully. Inuyasha moved over to the pail of fresh water in the corner of the room and brought her back a drink. He held it to her lips only to see her frown.

"I can do it myself. I might be blind, but I'm not an invalid." Her voice was bitter. Inuyasha handed the cup over to her without a word and watched as she spilt most of it down her t-shirt. When she had managed to get a little down her throat he took the empty cup from her.

"Would you like to go outside?" He offered. She hadn't been outside this room in five days and in his way of thinking she could use the fresh air.

"Why, it's not like I can see the stars or anything." she shot back at him. Inuyasha growled deep in his throat, or as much as he could in his human body. There was no way he was going to let her start to feel sorry for herself. Besides, Miroku looked like he was reaching for his staff and Inuyasha had ne desire to feel it knock against his skull in a none-to-gentle reminder to be quiet. Inuyasha scooped Kagome and the blanket she was wrapped in into his arms and headed outside.

"I don't want to go!" she hissed at him.

"You don't have a choice." He settled her down in the soft grass a little ways from the doorway of the hut. They were silent for awhile, Inuyasha, watching Kagome, and Kagome shifting uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry." His words surprised her. It was rare that the hanyou apologized for anything. For a moment her tears threatened to spill over again.

"It's not entirely your fault, Inuyasha." She sighed and hesitantly reached over and felt around for him. Inuyasha allowed her to capture his hand and was surprised when she relaxed almost immediately.

_'Is she afraid that I'll leave her?'_

"I should have known better than to do what I did. If anything, this only proves you right, I am useless." Her voice was full of self-reproach. Inuyasha cursed under his breath, did she really think he thought that?

_'Well, why wouldn't she think that? All you ever do is talk down to her.'_ A voice in his head mocked.

"Keh, I don't see you as useless. Don't blame yourself for what happened. In the mean time, I'll do what ever I can to help you get your sight back." His words held a sincerity that surprised even him.

"Anything, Inuyasha?" Inuyasha turned around to see the old miko standing behind them. "I hope you mean that." 

TBC 

The Notorious Fire-Fly demon: I wanted to come up with a demon that hadn't been done before, and had something to do with an element. So thus the ultra scary fire-fly demon was born…I got a kick out of imagining the ultimate romantic symbol as a bad guy. Maybe it's just me though…


	2. I Feel You

The World Through His Eyes

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. I probably don't even own this idea…because lets face it…there's nothing new under the sun, people. I hope I can pull this idea off with some originality though. Also, I guess you could say this is kinda AU…but it takes place in the cannon universe…erg…just read… Also, I don't own the song, I Feel You, by 3Doors Down.

Chapter Two: I Feel You

_They gave me a life that's not so easy to live._

_---I Feel You, 3 Doors Down_

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* * *

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"When you said there was a way for me to help her, I thought you meant going and searching for some damn rare plant or something. I never--" To Kaede's amusement the hanyou looked ready to run for his life. Everyone was seated outside under the shade of the few trees that grew next to Kaede's hut. Kagome sat close to Inuyasha, grasping his hand as if it were her life line. He didn't seem to notice.

"But Inuyasha, you are partly responsible for what happened to Kagome, are you not? Had you not goaded her when the day's training had brought her power so near the surface none of this would have happened." The elder interrupted to point out.

"But what you're asking. She already has the power to flatten me to the ground on a whim, why would I want to give her this power too? Everything that my eyes would see she would see… " he felt like invisible walls were surrounding him on all sides and there was no way he could escape capture.

"Really Inuyasha, it will only be for a few weeks at the most, until her body is strong enough to heal itself. The only reason Kaede-sama is even suggesting it is because of Kagome-sama's fear of being in the dark. She can't calm and heal because she's in constant fear." Miroku knew that the mention of Kagome's fear would take way any more protests Inuyasha had.

"What if I don't want to see things through his eyes?" This came from Kagome, who everyone had forgotten was sitting there, she'd been so quiet.

"Why not child?" Asked Kaede, she had been sure this idea would be the answer.

"I don't want to borrow Inuyasha's eyes. I…That would be…I don't know, strange?"

"I'll do it." Inuyasha's voice held determination. If this would help Kagome, then he would go through with his promise even if he wasn't too keen on the idea.

'Why is it he always has to take the opposite side? If I had wanted to do this would he not want to? A minute ago he hated the idea and now he's all gung ho about it.'

"But I said I didn't want to—"

"What do we have to do so that she can…whatever?" Inuyasha continued talking as though Kagome hadn't protested.

"It is quite a simple spell, made all the more easier because your souls are familiar with each other. All I have to do is form a…bridge of sorts, between you two…so that she'll have the ability to see through your eyes." Kaede looked thoughtful for a moment as if there was something she wasn't telling them and then continued, "I will need a bit of cloth from Kagome, and some of her blood, I think that should do it…oh and Miroku, if you would help me? I will need someone to hold the windows to their souls open while I work on the bridge." Through the explanation Kagome had been protesting loudly that she didn't want to do this. Finally Inuyasha looked over at her.

"Keh, wench just shut up for a moment! You know Kaede-baba said you could lose your sight permanently if you don't heal soon. And you can't heal if your body is in constant stress because you're afraid! And if you never get your sight back how are we going to find the shards?" He pointed out to her.

"That's all you ever care about isn't it? The shards!" She did a very good job glaring at him even though she couldn't actually see him.

"Yes, the shards! Must I remind you why they are so important? Hello, evil guy named Naraku? Does that ring a bell?" He reached over and rapped his knuckles on her forehead for emphasize.

The others watched this scene and tried not to laugh. Inuyasha and Kagome looked ready to kill each other, but they never unclasped their hands.

"Just once I'd like you to think about what I want! I do everything you want me too. I skip school, I come back early, I've missed my brother's last two birthdays and a close friend's wedding! And now…Has it even crossed your mind that maybe…just maybe I don't want to see the things you see? Like when you have to kill…or Kikyou…" Inuyasha leaned away from her as if she were poisonous. He was shocked at her outburst, but then the last part of it hit him.

'Of course she wouldn't want to see Kikyou through your eyes, baka! You know how she feels about you going to hell with Kikyou when all this is over.' For the first time he noticed that their hands were still clasped on the ground between them. Then a new thought hit him.

"Baba, would this bridge make it easier for Kikyou to take Kagome's soul?" Kagome stiffened and started tugging her hand away. Inuyasha ignored her and focused on the elder miko.

"I do not think so. She will be more vulnerable, but my sister would have to break your connection to Kagome before she could find an opening big enough to do such a thing." Even though her words sounded firm, Inuyasha didn't like the frown on her face.

"Kaede-baba, what aren't you telling—"

"Is there a way you could fix the spell so that if one of them didn't want to see or be seen they could somehow turn it off?" Sango suggested helpfully. Everyone looked at her with varying degrees of expression.

"That could work, if I cast the spell so that it went two ways instead of just one. Then it would give Kagome some power over what she saw. Would that make you more comfortable child?" Kagome swallowed slowly then nodded her head.

"As long as I can turn it off I guess it will be okay." She dropped her face downward as if to hide her eyes behind her bangs.

"Good, that's taken care of, but I must warn you. By casting the spell both ways Inuyasha's going to have a certain…insight…into your mind."

"Insight?" Both miko and hanyou asked in unison.

"He will be able to since your emotions more keenly, and of course if you're in danger he'll know it almost instantly." Kaede waved her hand dismissingly,

"Well is that really a bad thing? If Inuyasha knew what Kagome was thinking he wouldn't get sat so often." Shippou piped up. Everyone had to agree with that, even Inuyasha himself.

'And I'll know when she's in trouble.' He looked over at the girl next to him and saw that she was still uncertain.

"I promise I won't force you to do this Kagome. It's up to you." He whispered so that the others wouldn't hear.

"If I don't do it, will you still stay until I get my sight back on my own? You won't leave without me will you?" Her question surprised him. Didn't she know by now that he'd never leave her when she needed him?

"I won't leave you." He assured her. Those words seemed to be just what Kagome needed to hear. She straightened her shoulders and looked over to where she could feel Kaede's aura.

"I'll do it."

It was the hour right before dawn. They had chosen this time to cast the spell because according to Kaede souls were the least attached to their human bodies at this time. A strip of Inuyasha's fire-rat fur lay beside a strip from Kagome's old uniform skirt. To the side of those were two small vials of dark red liquid. Inuyasha and Kagome lay beside each other on the floor. She still clutched his hand. On either side of them sat the miko and the priest. Miroku looked especially happy to be sitting beside Kagome.

"Touch her priest, and you'll lose your hand." Inuyasha growled. He didn't like having to lay down for this, it left him feeling wide open for attacks.

"Why, Inuyasha, do you doubt my honorably intentions where Kagome-san's well being is concerned?" Miroku pulled on his best innocent priest face.

"Keh, I doubt your honor where any woman is concerned. Don't touch her."

"Miroku isn't going to touch me, Inuyasha. Now be quiet so they can get this done already." Kagome snapped from beside him. She wasn't a morning person. He huffed but remained quiet. Kaede took this as a sign to start. First, she took out a small stone dish and sprinkled a few handfuls of different herbs into it, along with a few hairs from each participant. Then she took some small sticks from the nearby fire and placed them in with the herbs. It gave off smoke and a funny odor almost immediately.

"This incenses will put you both in a type of dream sleep. You may see strange things, memories that aren't your own, such things as that. It is because your souls will be wide open. You instincts will tell you to fight this opening, but you must not. I will try to work as fast as the casting allows." The two lying on the floor just nodded. Their heads were already beginning to feel quite fuzzy. Miroku felt a nagging worry that he felt he had to address before he went into his trance to keep them open for the elder miko.

"Are you sure this incense isn't going to affect us?" he asked quietly as she prepared more of the herbs that she would need.

"No, the hairs in the mixture will make it specific for only them."

"Oh," he sighed. "That makes me feel better."

"Miroku-sama?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Your trance?" Kaede looked at him pointedly.

"Oh, yes. Sorry."

_Kagome found herself standing back home. The sun was sitting and the fireflies were beginning to come out. She saw a smaller, younger version of herself come out of the house and begin dancing amongst the glowing lights. She smiled at the memory and the sound of her own carefree giggles._

_"This isn't as bad as I thought it would be. These aren't even Inuyasha's memories, they're mine." _

_She watched herself for a bit more before she noticed that the scene was changing. The younger version of herself was fading, going farther and farther from her sight as the twilight started turning to day again. _

_"Wait…what's this?" She found herself in the forest, and from certain land marks she could see from where she was standing, Kagome guessed it to be Inuyasha's forest. _

_"One of Inuyasha's memories…?" She asked herself. _

_From her right a shadow moved, and Kagome jumped in surprise. It was Inuyasha, but he was different somehow. He walked with the same grace he had always possessed but something in his steps seemed more free spirited. His shoulders were relaxed and to her utter shock he was smiling at something behind her. Or was it someone? Suddenly she dreaded to see just what, or who, was making him so happy, but her body seemed to turn without her consent. She closed her eyes tightly. _

_"I don't want to see this. I can't see how happy he was before me." She turned her back forcefully away from the scene that was unfolding in Inuyasha's memory. _

_"I told you that it would be hard, child. But for this to work you have to accept the part of his soul Inuyasha decides to share." She found Kaede standing beside her. _

_"You mean, he deliberately picked a memory I would find painful?" Kagome asked, hurt that he would do such a thing. _

_"Nay, child. It is only his subconscious wish that you understand this part of him that lets you see into this hidden part of his soul. I imagine what he is seeing right now is just as painful. Now turn around and see what he is offering to you." Kagome swallowed with trouble and slowly did what the older, wiser, miko had bid her. She saw that the couple hadn't yet reach each other, as if when she turned around the memory had become paused. _

_"Great, looks like I didn't miss anything." She wrapped her arms around herself tightly, because even though the sun was out, none of its heat seemed to touch her skin. _

_Kagome watched as Inuyasha took Kikyou's hand in his and lead her over to sit at the base of a tree. Kagome's body moved closer against her will to bring her closer to the scene. _

_"You look tired." Inuyasha commented as he leaned over and brushed a stray hair from Kikyou's shoulder. _

_"Yes, there some kind of fever running through the village. It takes all I have just to heal the children. It is a very aggressive sickness." She tiredly leaned her head against his shoulder. They sat there for a few moments in companionable silence. Kagome felt tears begin to run down her face. They had such a relaxed relationship, and she couldn't help but envy that. _

_"Why can't we be like that, Inuyasha? Is it because I'm just a copy? Or is it because I'm missing a part of my soul?" Kagome placed a hand over her heart that sometimes gave her pain. She never complained about the small empty place, but she never forgot that it was there, or what would feel it. _

_"Are you still going to become human for me Inuyasha?" Kagome's eyes swung back to the couple when she heard that question. She was just in time to see the flash of uncertainty in the hanyou's eyes before it was gone. Kikyou had missed it because her head was on his shoulder. _

_"Yes, right here in our special spot." She sat up and kissed his cheek softly, "I have to go back to the village now." _

_"Do you want me to give you a ride back?" He stood up and indicated his back. _

_"No, of course not! The people wouldn't be happy to see me, their priestess, gallivanting around with a demon, and seeing me with a half demon would be worse. No, you just stay here and keep out of sight. I'll come back to see you tomorrow." Kikyou reached up and patted his cheek and then made her way back toward the village. _

_Kagome watched as the smile slowly slid off Inuyasha's face and he sat back down. _

_"Do you think they'll accept a full human who used to be a demon? Or will you hide that part of me and tell them you last the jewel?" He spoke to himself half angry, half sad. "What I'm considering just so I'm no longer alone." His sigh was so heart-felt and resolved that Kagome had to blink away tears. When she opened her eyes Inuyasha was gone, or at least he wasn't sitting on the ground. She looked up and found him pinned to the God Tree. A slightly younger version of her was rubbing his ears as villagers crept up behind her. _

_"Oh great, I was so clueless then. I didn't even know they were back there. No wonder he thought I was so weak." _

_"What—where am I?" Kagome jumped at hearing a voice in her head. It sounded like a drugged, sleepy Inuyasha. _

_"Am I hearing his voice in my head? I didn't think he woke up until much later." She moved closer to the pinned hanyou, totally ignoring the villagers as they carted her younger self off. _

_"There! I know I just saw him move." She climbed up and sat next to his root entangled feet. _

_"Kikyou, where's Kikyou? She was hurt a few minutes ago…I have to check on her…but I can't move!" His mind was in a panic and Kagome almost fell off her perch. To him, it was only a few minutes, not 50 years. _

_"What am I saying? She betrayed me! She never loved me at all, it was all just a ploy." Kagome felt a stab of grief as she heard his voice turn from worried to bitter and hateful. _

_"When I get free of what ever spell this arrow has on it I'm going to get that jewel and become a full demon. I should never have let her talk me into wanting to be so weak. I won't love her anymore, I won't! And I'll be damned if I ever let another human trick me like that." _

_"Do you understand now?" Kagome did fall off her seat this time. _

_"Inuyasha! You're not supposed to be here." He reached down and helped her stand with gentle hands. _

_"What, I'm not supposed to be in my own head?" His smirk of amusement made her blush. _

_"No…what I mean is…Aren't you suppose to be in my head?" She carefully asked. Inuyasha looked thoughtful. _

_"I suppose I'm in your head too." _

_"What? I don't understand…how can you be in two places at one time?" She noticed that his hand was still on her arm and that his thumb was making slow circles on her skin. _

_"Well, I guess you could say I'm the soul of Inuyasha. The part that has to stay here in my own head." _

_"Oh." _

_"But you never answered my question. Do you understand?" Those circles his thumb was making were really beginning to distract her. _

_"Do I understand what?" He smirked at her reaction to his touch. _

_"The reason I react to Kikyou like I do. To me it was just a few minutes between the time I fell asleep and woke up. To the rest of the world it was 50 years. I couldn't just make my feelings go away from one minute to the next." His eyes held more emotion at that moment than any other time she had seen him. _

_"I think I understand, but you must also understand that I hate feeling like I'm second best to everything the great Kikyou was. Sometimes I wonder if you'd like me better if I were dead too…" She left the sentence hanging and tried to pull away from him. When had she leaned in close enough to rest her hands on his chest? He wouldn't let her pull away. Inuyasha's eyes were again displaying an abnormal amount of emotion, this time, anger and hurt flashing across his eyes. _

_"Never, ever let me hear those words coming from you mouth! You aren't Kikyou. Deep down I understand that and I love you for who you are." He leaned down and softly kissed her surprised lips. "I just have a hard time showing that side of me. I'm afraid." _

_She smiled up at him and snuggled closer, "The great Inuyasha, super hanyou, is afraid of me, Kagome the weak?" _

_"Kagome the weak? If only you were…then I wouldn't be drawn to you like I am." For the first time in a longtime she felt completely safe and content, or as much as she could while in someone else's head. But… something was nagging her in the back of her mind. _

_"I'm not going to remember any of this, am I?" She asked. His arms squeezed her a little more tightly for a moment before he answered. _

_"You will remember bits and pieces, but nothing of our conversation. I wish I could let you keep your memory of my feelings for you, but most of me isn't ready to even admit that I lov---" He was fading away rapidly. She could see his lips moving but she couldn't hear his words. Desperately she tried to cling to the dream Inuyasha, but it was hopeless. She was waking up. _

_Inuyasha looked around at his strange surroundings and sighed. He recognized where he was. _

_"Trust Kagome's mind to be at the fucking school of hers." He leapt into a familiar tree and looked into the class room window. Sure enough there was Kagome working away in a room full of people. _

_"How can she stand to sit in such a crowded place? Just looking in makes me skin crawl." Just then a loud bell rang out across the campus and Inuyasha reached up to cover his sensitive ears. _

_"I hate that bitch's time! Is this some kind of joke? Of all the memories she has in that head of hers why this one!" He cursed colorfully as the noise level outside went up by several notches. _

_"That's it. I'm getting out of here until she finds something else to think about." He grumbled and made a move to leave the scene of the dream. _

_"If you leave I won't be able to finish the spell Inuyasha. You must let her show you what she's trying to make you understand." Kaede appeared beside him like magic. _

_"Keh, more like she's just found another way to torture me." His words sounded slightly unsure. _

_"Stay Inuyasha. Do it for Kagome's sake." The elder human winked out of sight and left him alone again. _

_"'Stay Inuyasha. Do it for Kagome's sake.'" He mocked her in a childish voice. "Keh, like I have a choice." He jumped back up into the tree and looked back into the room. It was empty save for Kagome and a female teacher. _

_"Higurashi, your frequent absences are causing you to fail my class. Now, you don't look sick to me, in fact you have a nice little tan. Do you want to tell me where you're really at all the time." She leaned over Kagome in an attempt to intimidate her. Inuyasha smirked. _

_"If you think your going to intimidate my Kagome think again. She's faced demons much scarier than you and never blinked. Wait when did she become MY Kagome? Keh, being in her head is affecting mine." _

_"I-I have been sick Kishino-san, really I have been," She stammered out. This caught Inuyasha by surprise. He sniffed the air to see if she was truly afraid but found that he couldn't smell a thing. _

_"You lie poorly Higurashi. My husband is a doctor you know. Half the illnesses you claim to have contracted aren't even real. Did you not expect someone to catch on to you eventually?" _

_"But, ma'am, I—" _

_"Save it. I will hear no more lies. But I want you to know that you will not pass my class if you don't start showing up more. I don't care what your test grades say, I'm not going to pass some beach bunny who doesn't take school seriously while everyone who does is trying so hard. And I'm not the only teacher who feels this way." _

_"But I am trying hard Kishino-san! You don't understand how hard…" From his vantage point Inuyasha could see tears start to pool in Kagome's eyes. _

_"Why that bitch! She's making Kagome cry!" He had to stop himself from kicking out the window and kill the teacher where she stood. _

_"Spare me your excuses. Don't you understand the dishonor you're bringing to your family and shrine? I want you to think about all of this while you're in detention. You may leave in an hour." The teacher primly walked out of the room leaving Kagome alone save for the unknown watcher at the window. She placed her head on her desk and spoke to herself. _

_"I can't just ignore the past. I have to go back. I have to go back to Inuyasha…but what about here? I can't fail my family!" Her sobs tore at him. He couldn't stand to see her cry like that. Inuyasha pulled back his fist and sent it through the window, he had to get to Kagome. Had to stop her tears… _

_Abruptly he found himself floating inside a brightly painted room, small children were sitting in a circle around a pretty young woman. One of the children looked suspiciously like a mini-Kagome. Her face was so childishly intent on what the woman was saying that Inuyasha felt a smile tug at his lips. _

_"She was a cute little kid." He commented. _

_"I want you all to listen to me," spoke the teacher, "The only way you will ever not be a failure to your families is if you do good in school." The words strangely echoed in his mind before the scene changed again. _

_This time Kagome was a little older and she sat in a desk instead of on the floor. This time, there was a man in front of the group of children. Kagome wore a board expression and her eyes kept drifting out the window. _

_Suddenly, the teacher whirled on Kagome and snapped, "Higurashi, if you ever want to be anything in life, you will pay attention in my class." Inuyasha saw guilt flash through her eyes right before he was again yanked out of that class room and into another time and place. _

_Here Kagome was only a little younger than when he had first met her and yet again she was sitting at a desk. The man up front was passing out papers to the waiting students. _

_"This is a practice test, much like the entrance exams you will be taking to get into the high school of your choice. If you don't do well on them here, then I suggest you spend all your free time studying so you won't fail later on." _

_The dream world became confused after that memory. Inuyasha felt himself spin out of control as he fell down a long dark hole. Voices rang out of the darkness and hurt his ears. _

_"You must get good grades!" _

_"Don't let everyone down Kagome!" _

_"You failed your math test again Kagome!" _

_"Higurashi you'll never get into good schools at this rate." _

_"You're a failure." _

_"Failure." _

_"FAILURE!" _

_Suddenly he hit the bottom of the hole with a painful crunch. His head was still ringing from the bombardment of those fucking voices. Inuyasha didn't understand a lot of what was going on, but he did pick up on one thing. Kagome's time put a lot of emphasis on education. _

_"No wonder she's always running back to her world. It must be hell having to put up with all of that pressure." _

_"So you understand?" Suddenly the darkness was gone and he was in the forest beside Kaede's village. _

_"Only your head could be this chaotic Kagome," He grumbled to the girl who'd just materialized out of thin air. She ignored his grumble and sat down on the soft grass, bringing her knees up to her chest. _

_"I have to keep going back Inuyasha because after all the shards are found and you're gone I'll have to know how to survive in my world without you." She told him in a soft voice. _

_"What do you mean, 'With out me'? You make it sound as if the well will close up." When she just looked at him he began to feel a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. _

_"Kagome, what aren't you telling me? Do you know something I don't?" He felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach when she just shrugged. _

_"I don't know what will happen. I don't want to lose you, Inuyasha. But I have to have something to fall back on if your not there to catch me." She turned sad eyes toward him and he got a shock. Her eyes were his Kagome's, and yet they weren't. These eyes were old and wise. He swore and jumped back. _

_"You're not Kagome!" _

_"Yes, Inuyasha I am. It is true that I have not always been Kagome, for mine is a very old soul indeed. But I am truly your Kagome." She rose and placed a feather light kiss on cheek. "I want to thank you for letting me see with your eyes. I have always feared the dark, no matter what life I've lived." She shuddered. _

_"I never knew that." She looked at him curiously, "You were having a hidden affair with Kikyou and you never wondered why you never met at night?" Inuyasha blushed and shook his head. _

_"I never thought about it." He admitted. She smiled softly. _

_"I can hear Kaede calling you. Her work is complete now, but before you go, please tell me you understand what I tried to show you?" Her eyes pleaded with him. _

_"I think...I think I understand." He answered. "I'll try to remember what you've showed me." He felt his body getting heavy, and he fought to stay wake. _

_"Kagome--!" _

_"Shhh, sleep Inuyasha." _

Kaede and Miroku watched as both of them began to stir. Inuyasha opened his eyes first and sat up. He rubbed his head and looked over at Kagome. It felt strange, the new awareness of her in his head. It was like a small and not altogether unpleasant tickle in the back of his head.

Kagome opened her eyes, and for a moment felt disorientated.

'Why I'm I looking at myself in a mirror? No, it's not a mirror…' Then it hit her.

"You're looking at me." She whispered softly to Inuyasha. He started at the sound of her voice then gave a weak laugh.

"Yeah, I guess I was. Sorry." Kagome saw herself smile slightly through Inuyasha's eyes.

"It's okay."

"If I may, I'd like to tell you exactly how this works." Kaede spoke up from where she sat beside Inuyasha. She looked tired, in fact both Miroku and Kaede looked rather weary.

As if sensing their thoughts, Kaede sighed. "It is very hard work to do what we have done." She indicted the small strip of green cloth that was tied to Inuyasha's subdue necklace, "I used some of Kagome's blood to write the characters for "borrowed sight" upon her cloth. Your necklace was the easiest thing to tie it to because Kagome is already linked to you through that. Now I want you to untie it."

Inuyasha reached up and carefully tugged at it. The moment it came free Kagome stiffened.

"Tie it back Inuyasha!" She urged as the world went dark again. He hurried to do her bidding.

"Inuyasha please look at Kagome for me. Yes, that's good. Now child do you see the piece of clothe wrapped around the top of the shikon shard you wear? If you remove that Inuyasha will not feel your thoughts anymore, and you won't be able to see what he's seeing."

"Keh, as much as she loses that jewel, couldn't you think of a better place to put it?" Inuyasha glared over at the older miko in discussed.

"Inuyasha, stop glaring!" Kagome ordered.

"Why should I bitch?" He turned his glare onto her.

"Because it makes your eyes scrunch up funny and it's hard for me to see." He felt a wave of her annoyance sweep over him.

"Well, you'll just have to live with it because these are my eyes! I'll glare it I want to!"

"I'm going to say the "s" word!"

"Say it! Let's see if you like the view when my face is slammed into the ground!"

"SIT!"

"That's it; I'm closing my eyes for at least four hours for every time you say that!"

"I think they're going to be okay," Miroku commented to the miko next to him. "Do you think they'll remember all that stuff they said to each other during their enchanted sleep?" He had seen all of it while holding the soul windows open.

"I don't know. Only time will tell."

Beach Bunny: This is a term that I found in the manga Peach Girl. It simply refers to someone who spends all their time on the beach.

A/N: this is the longest chapter I've ever written for any story, except for that one shot…but that's literally another story. I hope the dream sequences weren't too long. I just liked the idea. Well, reviewing never killed anyone that I know of, so why don't you give it a try?

Hitomi Lei


	3. It's About You

The World Through His Eyes

AN: I'm sorry this is a little late. I've been trying to update every Monday but I've been very sick lately with one wicked summer cold.

**THIS NEXT NOTE IS VERY IMPORTANT!**

**Julie my beta pointed out to me that I might not have explained the whole binding thing as clearly as I could have. She thought that Kagome had a blindfold on… -.-;; **

**So this is how it goes, a small strip of Inuyasha's fire rat fur coat thingy (can't for the life of me remember what it's called in Japanese…so prove to me you read my note and tell me the answer in a review) that was soaked in a mixture of both their bloods is tied above the piece of the shikon jewel Kagome wears around her neck. A strip of cloth from on of Kagome's green uniform skirt is tied around Inuyasha's prayer beads in the same fashion. Thus Kaede used something tangible to tie their souls together.**

**I hope that answers any questions!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. I probably don't even own this idea…because lets face it…there's nothing new under the sun, people. I hope I can pull this idea off with some originality though. Also, I guess you could say this is kinda AU…but it takes place in the cannon universe…erg…just read… and I don't own _It's About You_ by Train

_: Author's__ Manic Writings: _

_Okay…so we can all agree that as popular as Inu-fanfiction is there probably isn't a truly new idea out there…. _

_But have you ever thought about the little clichés that every writer uses at one time or another…those things that aren't even in the series of the manga…? _

_Like Inuyasha purring when his ears are rubbed? _

_Or the whole thing about Inu biting her neck as a mark that they're mated? I'd like to know who came up with that? They sure were creative. _

_Little things like that are why I read fan fiction. I still get the warm fuzzies every time Inuyasha pulls Kagome into his lap and licks her neck. ;P_

_:This has been a section of Manic Writings from the Author now back to your regularly scheduled fanfic:_

Chapter 3:** It's About You**

_  
And I could be that everything you need._

_---It's About You_ by Train

* * *

It was one of the strangest things she had ever experienced, and that was saying a lot since Kagome had been in just about every weird situation the human mind could come up with in the last two years. But the sight of the world through Inuyasha's eyes had to be ranked up at the very top. Everything had an almost too bright quality, a sharpness that her human sight had never held. And he moved his eyes around a lot. A whole lot. 

"Inuyasha, why can't you just find one thing to look at? No, I'd be happy if you could just look at something for more than a few milliseconds!" It was like watching a home movie made by someone with ultra shaky hands.

"I have to look around. If you don't want some demon to jump us I have to watch our surroundings." He glared at the girl who had done nothing but complain the whole time they had been walking toward the well. He tried not to get angry at the way she was acting, because in the back of his mind he could sense that she was cranky, tired, and a little nervous about facing her mother. He really was trying his best to be as patient as he could be.

"Why don't you use your ears or some of those other heightened senses you brag about?" She frowned at him as he looked at her, "And don't look at me!"

"You, little girl, are driving me crazy!" His voice was filled with exasperation. The silence that descended over them was satisfying. For a moment anyway, and then he heard Kagome sniff.

_'Oh not again…she's crying.'_

"You're right Inuyasha, I'm sorry that I've been so moody today. It's just…I guess I have a lot on my mind." She stopped walking and closed her eyes. A wave of weariness turned the tickle in his mind into a full blown itch. He sighed. It was impossible to stay mad at her for any length of time, especially now that he could feel how sorry she was. With out a word he shifted her yellow monstrosity of a sack around and hoisted her up onto his back.

"I can walk you know." She grumbled but the way she snuggled into his back told him she really didn't want down. In fact she was giving off little content vibes through their link.

Her feelings still surprised him sometimes, 'I had no idea she felt like this around me…or that she was this moody.'

"Keh, bitch just close your eyes and sleep. I'll make sure nothing hurts you." Kagome completely missed the tenderness in his tone. She was already dreaming.

"I don't understand why you have to take it off!" Inuyasha said for what must have been the fifth time since Mrs. Higurashi had decided to take Kagome to the doctor.

"He's going to check my eyes Inuyasha! If I can see when that kinda defeats the purpose of his examination!" She reached again for the red cloth tied above the shikon, and again Inuyasha caught her hand.

"Keh, you're not going anywhere if you can't see!"

"Inuyasha, if you can feel my emotions then you know I'm getting really close to saying the "s" word!" Kagome raised her voice in frustration as she said this. Inuyasha smirked.

"Go ahead, I'll just close my eyes for a long---"

"GOOD! That's what I wanted you to do in the first place! SIT!" Inuyasha hit the floor and Kagome untied the cloth.

"Bitch!" He struggled to turn himself so that he could look at her. She was a little pale and there were little beads of sweat running down her forehead. He could smell her fear, but it was muted, like she had better control.

"Inuyasha, I'm sorry, but I have to go so I have a real excuse to miss school. I'll be back in a few hours. Don't. Leave. This. House." She turned around and felt for the wall.

"Mom! I'm ready to go now." She began descending the stairs but one of Souta's toys had been conveniently left out and of course she tripped over it.

"AHHHHH!" She flailed her arms around in an attempt not to fall. "Inuyasha!" she screamed to him. At the sound of her first scream Inuyasha was already struggling against the spell, by the time she called for his help he was up and running for the stairs.

Kagome felt gravity take its toll. She knew she was going to fall and that it was going to hurt badly. But she didn't hit the wooden steps, instead two strong arms wrapped securely around her.

Inuyasha caught Kagome before she could fall, but gravity is indeed a cruel thing. He over balanced, sending them both topping down toward the floor. He managed to turn them so that Kagome landed on top of him unharmed. For a moment they were silent, both trying to catch their breath.

"Bitch, what were you thinking?" Inuyasha asked. When Kagome didn't answer he sat up, worried, pulling her so that she could sit in his lap.

"Are you hurt?" He ran his hands up her arms and over her shoulders looking for any injury. He didn't notice that she was blushing or the intimate picture they must have made sitting at the base of the stairs with Kagome snugly in his lap.

"No-no I'm not hurt anywhere Inuyasha…just surprised is all. I'm sorry you fell with me." She tried to stand up but Inuyasha wouldn't let her. To be honest he was still worried that she might be hurt. Her smell was funny after all.

"Keh, like a fall down some stairs could hurt me!" Inuyasha could hear her mother's foot step coming close, so he pulled them both to their feet.

"Kagome? Did I hear you fall dear?" Mrs. Higurashi noticed that Inuyasha was holding Kagome securely in his arms, but she didn't say anything to make her any more embarrassed than she already was.

"Yeah, I did Momma, but Inuyasha caught me just like he always does when I fall." It was Inuyasha's turn to blush this time.

It took Kagome and her mother almost 30 minutes to get to Dr. Shimizme's office by way of the family car. She wished she could look out the window because she had always enjoyed watching the people go by.

_'I miss imagining what their lives must be like…but I think what I miss most of all is…seeing Inuyasha's face…'_ She spent some time recalling his golden eyes and long silver hair. She really missed her sight at times like this.

"Kagome dear, you haven't told me how this happened yet…I don't want to pry, but I think I deserve to know how my daughter lost her sight." Mrs. Higurashi looked over at her daughter while the traffic light was red.

"It's a long story Momma." Kagome reached up and rubbed the spot over her heart that sometimes ached because of her missing piece of soul. It was hurting now…but the pain was different some how.

"We have plenty of time, plus we have to have a convincing story for the doctor." If her mother noticed Kagome rubbing her chest she gave no indication.

"Okay, I was with Kaede, you know that older miko woman we live with when our group isn't on the road? Well, she was trying to teach me some small spells but nothing was working…" by the time she finished her story with Kaede joining her soul with Inuyasha's they had arrived at their destination.

"I think I could find myself being very mad at Inuyasha if I hadn't seen him taking such good care of you this morning." Kagome's mom sighed. She was an easy going woman, but she didn't like the thought of her children being hurt in far off places where she couldn't help them. Kagome blushed at her mother's words.

"What are we going to tell the doctor?" She asked to change the subject.

"I think we should tell the truth, just modify it a little. Tell him that you were outside in the rain two nights ago…and there was a bright flash of lightening in the tree a few feet from you…and after the flash you couldn't see." Kagome made a face in her mother's direction.

"Mom, I don't think I could survive that. Wouldn't it kill me to be struck by lightening?"

"No, because you didn't get struck by it, it struck near you." She pointed out. A sharp pain went through Kagome's chest but she managed to muffle her gasp.

"That's lame Mom."

"Well, do you a better idea?" Mrs. Higurashi asked.

"Umm… no…"

"Then we go with my story!" Kagome had to smile at the sound of triumph in her mother's voice.

Souta sat back and watched Inuyasha pace back and forth in front of the television. He really didn't mind that he was missing whatever show was on, because the growling hanyou was much more entertaining. Grandpa was sleeping in the recliner where he had nodded off telling Inuyasha the legend of the Loch Ness monster.

"You know, if you keep on going you're going to wear a hole in the floor, and then Momma's going be mad." He felt like he should inform the older boy of the impending danger he was in. Inuyasha just kept pacing.

He felt like he couldn't sit still even if his life depended on it. He couldn't be still and his worry over Kagome was building.

_'I don't feel as if she's in any real danger, but I'd feel better if she was here. I need her here with me…what am I saying? I don't fucking need that bitch for anything!'_

_'Then why are you pacing around like a love sick fool?'_

_"Because…HEY, when did love enter the picture?'_

_'When it's true?'_

_'I can't believe I'm talking to myself…and since when does my inner voice sound like that lecher monk? Keh, that stupid girl is messing with my head!'_

"Are you talking to yourself?" Souta asked with interest. This just kept getting better and better.

"NO! I am not talking to myself brat!"

"Really, your lips were moving and I just thought that you might be…you know…but it must have just been me." When the little brat grinned like that he looked so much like Kagome that Inuyasha couldn't bring himself to bop him in the head like he would have Shippou. Instead he ruffled the little boy's hair and growled.

"Don't push me kid." Souta giggled and nodded. Inuyasha was obviously worried about his sister so he wouldn't tease the hanyou any more.

Inuyasha headed out the door and Souta wanted to know where he was going, "You know sister said to stay here!"

"I'm just going outside to wait for her! Keh, your just as bad as that kit Kagome's adopted."

"You'd better not leave!" Souta's last warning was met by the slamming of the door. Grandpa jumped out of his chair and looked around.

"What? Did some one say that a giant fire-fly demon is attacking the house?" He looked around wildly pulling out his little paper spells.

"Fire-fly demon?" Souta sweat dropped, "Grandpa, there's nothing going on…go back to sleep."

"Really? Must have been a repressed memory or something." He settled back down and was snoring in no time. Souta shook his head.

"Fire-fly demon?"

* * *

"Well, Kagome, I've ran all the tests I can think to run, and there's nothing technically wrong with your eyes. I've never seen a condition like this before, so all I can tell you is to be patient. If you start to see within the next month come in to see me as soon as you can. In the mean time just plan on being back here in 4 weeks time." Dr. Shimizme was a kind middle aged man with thick glasses and fuzzy hair. To Kagome he sounded like one of those old bachelor uncles that every family has.

"What about school?" She asked, turning her head toward the sound of his voice.

"Well, I think that until we know for sure you shouldn't go. You can't read anything you'll be given anyway, so just take a break." Kagome felt relieved.

_'They can't fail me if I have an excuse, can they?'_ Another sharp pain shot through her chest, this time making her exhale sharply._ 'These are really starting to hurt bad. I need to get back so I can ask Kaede what's going on.'_

"Did you say anything, Kagome?" the Doctor asked with concern.

"No, no. I'm fine. Can one of your nurses help me back to the waiting room?" She gritted her teeth at the now insistent throbbing above her chest.

"If you're sure your okay I'll call Mayu."

"I'm sure I'm fine, must be something I ate." She hated to lie to the kind doctor, but she doubted he'd be much help.

She managed to make it out to the waiting room and to make her next appointment before another stab of pain almost knocked her down. Her mother quickly caught her before she could fall to her knees.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" Kagome couldn't answer her mother right away because her breath had been forced from her lungs by the pain.

"It…it…hurts." She managed to choke out.

"That's it! I'm taking you back in there right now!" Her mother started to pull Kagome back toward the clinic doors but Kagome protested.

"No…I need Inu…it's because…"

"Kagome you're not making since! What could Inuyasha do to help you?" Her mother looked down at her with exasperation. "He's not a doctor!"

The next surge of pain immobilized Kagome completely. Mrs. Higurashi panicked and ran back into the clinic yelling for the doctor. Kagome struggled to get up as a crowd of people began to form around her.

"Inu…yasha…please!"

* * *

Some where on the outside of Tokyo golden eyes snapped open.

_'Kagome.'_

Without a second thought he rushed into the house just long enough to grab the floppy hat Mrs. Higurashi always left for him at the door. Then he was bounding off across buildings toward where he could sense Kagome.

"Hold on, I'm coming as fast as I can."

The Fire-Fly demon strikes again! I just couldn't help myself! 

Hitomi: I'm sorry about the cliffy…but I had to stop here or the chapter would have been like over 20 pages long!

Readers: and that's a bad thing?

Hitomi: Yes! For me it is! It would have been bad for you too! In theory that is…umm…I'm going to go hide under my bed now…

slinks off to hide somewhere safe

**Kakite: I'm glad you think it's original…I'm trying not to write too much from cliché…but some clichés are to cute to ignore! I think someone saying that my fic was almost as awesome as Inuyasha himself is one of the greatest complements I've gotten in a long time! Gosh, I do so love that puppy! **

**Pruningshears: I did some research collective gasp at that statement on the school system in ****Japan****, so I'm glad you thought it was accurate! I'm also glad you thought they were IC. To tell the truth this is my first Inuyasha story so hearing that I've captured their characters right on paper makes me very happy.**

**Kiki: I'm glad you think it's awesome!**

**Moon Fairy2: I thought going into each others minds would be a nice touch…but sadly they really don't remember anything…yet…**

**Jazzylady: I agree with it being strange for Kagome to see herself through Inuyasha's eyes…it's hard to write from that point of view as well. But your right…it's so much better than being in the dark…(I sleep with like up to four nightlights sometimes and I'm almost 19 years old…pathetic I know )**

**DragonRose 13: I love your sn! Dragons are favs of mine and I had roses engraved on my class ring! I'm glad you think my story "rox"**

**TOkU-cHaN: I'm glad you think it's intresting!**

**SilveryMoon: Hasn't anyone every told you not to run in a review? You might trip and fall! I'm glad you love my story!**

Well, like I said last time, until I hear one of those urban legends about people dying from leaving a review, I'm going to encourage you to leave your mark on my little world!

I'd also like to thank my lovely beta Julie! Even though we're both busy getting ready to head for college she still finds the time to clean up my fics! Readers, this story would truly be a huge mess with out her!

Love bunchies!

Hitomi Lei


	4. Make it Better

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. I probably don't even own this idea…because lets face it…there's nothing new under the sun, people. I hope I can pull this idea off with some originality though. Also, I guess you could say this is kinda AU…but it takes place in the canon universe…erg…just read…and I don't own _Make it Better. _

**RECAP:**

**Some****where on the ****outskirts**** of ****Tokyo**** golden eyes snapped open.**

**_'Kagome.'_**

**Without a second thought he rushed into the house just long enough to grab the floppy hat Mrs. Higurashi always left for him at the door. Then he was bounding off across buildings toward where he could since Kagome.**

**"Hold on, I'm coming as fast as I can."**

**END RECAP.**

Chapter 4: Make it Better

I_ could use some heavier shoes._

_---Make it Better_

_

* * *

_

Kagome was still gasping for breath when her mother rushed in to the clinic with the doctor and some orderlies in tow.

"Where does it hurt, Kagome?" He asked as he took her pulse. It was erratic and fluttering. He glanced at her mother worriedly.

"Has this ever happened before?"

"No, but she doesn't live with me all the time. How did you explain that your only daughter put her life in danger daily by going to the past to hang out with a hanyou?

"Kagome, does this happen often? Is it a seizure? Do you have medication for it?" He fired a rapid string of questions at her so fast that she could barely think of the answers.

"Not…often…no…se-seizure…need Inuyasha!" She managed to choke out. All she knew was that she needed Inuyasha, and she needed him now!

"Who's Inuyasha? She keeps asking for him." Dr. Shimizme turned the questions back to Mrs. Higurashi as the orderlies loaded Kagome onto a stretcher. "Can you get him here for her? It might help calm her down." Mrs. Higurashi was at a loss at what to do. There was no way Inuyasha would be able to find this place by himself and she wasn't going to leave her daughter to go get him.

"He's a friend… but I can't leave to go get him—"

"KAGOME! Where is she?" A streak of red flew by the doctor and Mrs. Higurashi and headed straight for the people wheeling Kagome toward the clinic doors.

"Where are you taking her?" Inuyasha pushed the men out of the way, barely remembering to check his strength. He leaned over the bed, his face drawn in worry.

"Kagome, I'm here. Are you okay?" Her unseeing blue-gray eyes were glazed with pain as he looked down at her.

"Inuyasha…don't…leave me…" The pain in her chest seemed to subside and her breath started to come much easier now that he was near her.

"Young man, you have to step away from the stretcher now. I have to get Kagome inside so I can make sure she's okay." The doctor tried to ease the young man away from the sick girl but Inuyasha growled deep in his throat and tightened his grip on Kagome's hand.

"Who are you? If you're the one who hurt her I swear I'll--" the doctor backed away from the obviously violent teen.

'Did…did he just bare his **fangs** at me?' The doctor shook his head dismissively. The youth and their fads these days were beyond his comprehension.

"Inuyasha, this is the doctor Kagome visited concerning her eyes today. He's only trying to help her." Mrs. Higurashi placed a comforting hand on his arm. Inuyasha looked down at her and his eyes softened a bit.

"I'm all right. The pain has eased up." Kagome struggled to sit up on the stretcher with Inuyasha's help. She just wanted to go home now because in the back of her mind she knew that what was ailing her was something the doctor couldn't fix.

"Kagome I think you should let the doctor check--" Her mother started.

"Mom, I really just want to go home." Her other hand reached out, questing for Inuyasha's support. He immediately moved closer and let her lean into his chest.

"Kagome, at least let me listen to your heartbeat." The doctor tried to reason with her but Inuyasha cut him off before he could get near the girl.

"She said she wants to go home." This time the doctor didn't back away from the young man's glare, but neither did he argue with him.

"Can I at least check her pulse?" the question was directed toward Kagome's mother. She nodded. Inuyasha reluctantly let the older man take Kagome's wrist. After a moment Dr. Shimizme's eyes rose up in surprise.

"Her pulse is almost back to normal. I don't really feel comfortable letting you go, but I guess that's out of my hands." He motioned for Inuyasha to help Kagome off the stretcher.

"I want you to keep a close watch on her, Mrs. Higurashi. Call me if anything happens." Kagome's mom nodded her understanding as Inuyasha picked up her daughter bridal style and started walking towards the doors.

"Wait, Inuyasha where are you going? The car's this way!" The worried mother called.

"Keh, I can get her home much faster than that contraption! We'll see you later." With that he kept on walking, holding Kagome close to his heart.

* * *

The longer she spent in Inuyasha's presence the easier her breathing became and the pain settled down to a dull throb. In fact after a few minutes she even found herself enjoying the ride in his arms over the city.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked as she settled her head in the hollow of his neck.

"What wench?" His tone was harsh, but his eyes were filled with concern for her well-being.

"How did you know when to find me?" Kagome was curious.

"I followed your scent, stupid." Kagome knew he was smirking even though she couldn't see his face because of the tone of voice he used.

"No, I didn't mean that, I meant how did you know I needed you?" She felt her stomach dip as Inuyasha finally stopped moving. The familiar sounds of the shrine reached her ears.

"I don't know… I just knew…I think it has something to do with the spell." He carried her through the door of her house, careful not to bump her head on the frame.

"Inuyasha! Kagome told you not to leave! She's going to be so mad--oh." Souta stopped talking when he noticed his sister snuggled in the hanyou's arms.

"Hey, why'd you go get her?" He asked as he followed the two up the stairs. His sister looked pale under her slight tan and he'd never seen Inuyasha hold his sister like that.

"She needed me." Inuyasha answered without looking back.

"Why"

"Because."

"Why"

"Because I said so!" Inuyasha was beginning to growl low in his chest. Damn kid asked too many questions! It seemed there was only one way to get away from the brat.

"Why... owww!" Souta rubbed his bruised nose. Inuyasha had slammed the door to Kagome's room just as he was about to follow them in.

"I'll tell Momma you're up here all alone!" He yelled through the door. That ought to get Kagome to open the door for him.

"Souta, I'm okay, Inuyasha just picked me up early from the doctor's." Kagome called through the door in an attempt to pacify the little boy. "I'm going to take a nap, I promise to play with you later if you're quiet for me okay?" Souta was disappointed that his plan hadn't worked to get Kagome to open the door. But the promise of his big sister playing with him was rare, so he took the trade. Besides Kagome had looked rather pale….

"Okay big sister!" The sound of his feet running down the stairs made Kagome smile softly. She settled down in bed as Inuyasha sat down beside her on the mattress.

"Keh, he's just like Shippou." Inuyasha grumbled as she wiggled around in search of the covers. He finally got tired of it and pulled the blankets up to her chin for her.

"I hadn't noticed." Kagome grinned at his action. She pulled an arm out from under the comforter and reached over toward her bed stand, trying to find the strip of cloth. Inuyasha guessed what she was reaching for and picked it up.

"Here, I'll tie it back on." He told her as he reached for the jewel. Kagome sighed.

'I guess I'm going to have to get used to him doing things for me. He doesn't even seem to notice how much he's doing it. Like it comes naturally or something.'

"Keh, bitch, don't fucking complain about me doing things for you. If I didn't it would take fucking forever." Inuyasha answered her. Kagome was a bit confused.

"Did I say that out loud?" Her eye sight returned to her and she sighed again. Inuyasha was glaring at her.

"You must have because I heard you as clear as day wench." He was slightly confused himself about what had just happened but he didn't mention that to her.

"When you tied it back on all the pain went away." Kagome told him to change the subject.

"Keh, We need to talk to baba, she never mentioned that we had to stay together or you'd get hurt." Inuyasha scowled in the direction of the well.

"Your right, something is definitely up, but right now I'm too tired to think about it." Kagome closed her eyes and yawned hugely. Inuyasha could feel the waves of weariness rolling off her through their bond. He didn't want to stay in her time longer than they had to, but he understood that she was exhausted.

"You get some sleep, and when you wake up we'll head back." He patted her shoulder absently and went over to sit under the window.

"You'll stay in here with me?" She asked him as she wiggled under the covers trying to get comfortable.

"Yeah, now sleep bitch!" His command only made her smile softly. She knew his gruffness was only an act and that under that tough exterior was a big soft puppy.

"Night Inuyasha." She sighed and slipped off to sleep. Inuyasha sat there for a moment listening as her breathing evened out. After a waiting few long moments to make sure she was fast asleep, he got up and sat down on the bed again. He gentle pushed some of her soft hair away from her face.

"Keh, what am I going to do with you Kagome?"

* * *

The sun had almost set by the time the couple was ready to travel back through the well. Kagome's mother had insisted that they eat dinner before departing, then Kagome had to collect her homework, then Souta cried because Kagome hadn't kept her promise, then the old man decided that Inuyasha was indeed a demon that needed to be purified…to make a long story short it took a long time for them to break free of Kagome's family.

But now they were both safely back in the past and Inuyasha felt his muscles relax slightly. Kaede-baba would know how to fix whatever was wrong with this spell and everything would go back to normal, or as normal as things around them could get.

The first one to meet them as the walked into the village was of course Shippou. He launched himself at Kagome's chest with enough force to knock her down. Inuyasha placed his hand on her waist to steady her and growled down at the kit.

"Brat, you almost made her fall!" But the baby fox ignored the hanyou and focused all his attention on his adopted mother.

"Kagome! I missed you so much! I went fishing with Miroku and I caught a perch and Sango cooked it…but I was sad because you couldn't have any of it to eat. Then I helped Kaede look for herbs and then Sango made me take a nap but then I woke up when I sensed you!" How he got all that out in one breath was a mystery to Kagome. She just smiled and stroked his soft head.

"Sounds like you were busy while I was gone, ne?" She tapped her finger to his nose and laughed when his eyes crossed. She was thankful that Inuyasha kept his eyes trained on the kit while she held him. She enjoyed watching the rapid-fire change of expressions Shippou's young face underwent when he was excited.

"Yep, Miroku said that tomorrow I could catch another fish so you could have some of that one." Shippou reached up and patted Kagome on the check before turning his attention to their silent companion.

"Did she sit you while you were gone? Was it painful?" He crawled up on Kagome's shoulder so he could get a clear look at the hanyou's face. Inuyasha's eyebrow twitched in agitation right before his hand shot out to catch Shippou's fluffy tail.

"You want to know if she sat me, brat? Was it painful? Well, maybe I should show you just how much it hurts!" He dangled the squirming child over the ground as if he would drop him.

"Inuyasha, leave Shippou alone. He was only teasing you." Kagome reached out to save the kit before Inuyasha could drop him on his head.

"Keh! Like hell he was only teasing! He ain't the innocent baby you make him out to be!" He shook Shippou a little before Kagome could pry his hand away.

"Of course he's just a little baby, Inuyasha. Now Shippou, you know not to make Inuyasha mad. One day I'm going to let him get you if you don't learn your lesson soon." Shippou nodded to let Kagome know he understood but when he though she couldn't see him he stuck his tongue out at the grumbling Inuyasha.

"Shippou! I saw that! Maybe I ought to just let Inuyasha carry you for a while?" Kagome spoke sternly. Shippou felt his cheeks heat up. He'd forgotten that Kagome saw everything Inuyasha did.

"Keh, now do you believe me bitch?" Inuyasha folded his arms and glared toward the miko and fox kit. But before she could answer him she was being greeted by the others in their group so Inuyasha reluctantly let the subject drop.

"Kagome! I'm so glad your back! I have missed looking upon your radiant beauty!" Miroku reached out to hug her but found his way blocked but a growling Inuyasha.

"You are not fucking touching her monk."

"Why, Inuyasha, I intended only a friendly hug toward Kagome! Nothing more." His innocent tone would have convinced Kagome of his good intentions had she not been on the receiving end of Miroku's perverted nature more times than she could count.

"Did all go well it your time?" Sango went around Inuyasha so that she could embrace her friend.

"Not as well as we would have hoped. The doctor can't explain why I'm blind and the spell…" She sighed and let her sentence trail off. Sango didn't push her friend to finish. She knew that Kagome would tell her everything in due time.

"Where's Kaede-baba?" Inuyasha demanded as the group entered the old hut.

"I think she's in the temple, but Inuyasha I have to tell you something." Miroku felt an uneasy feeling in the bottom of his stomach as he exchanged glances with Sango. Their news wasn't good.

"It can wait. I have to talk to Kaede about this stupid spell." Inuyasha made for the door but Miroku stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"You don't understand, Inuyasha, this can't wait." Something in his tone seemed to break through to the stubborn hanyou. Inuyasha turned and looked at him impatiently.

"Well? Fucking tell me already!"

"There's a shard rumored ---"

"Keh, that's nothing new---"

"To be just east of here," Miroku went on like he'd never been interrupted. "The rumor also mentions a strange miko who has been stealing the souls of young women."

Inuyasha swore colorfully when he heard this. Why did Kikyou have to appear now of all times?

"Okay, I want us heading out within an hour. We won't get far before it's too dark to see but we can't lose any more time." He continued on his way out of the hut, leaving silence in his wake.

"You had to tell him tonight, didn't you?" Kagome quietly asked. Miroku and Sango exchanged guilty glances.

"Sorry Kagome, but we had no other choice. At least now he won't be mad because no one told him." Sango tried to reason with the younger girl. Kagome nodded but didn't look convinced.

* * *

"Baba, when we get back you and me are going to have a long talk about this spell thing." Inuyasha announced to the old miko as the group was getting ready to depart from the village. She raised her eyebrow questioningly.

"Don't give me that look baba, something's wrong and you're going to fix it. So be prepared." With that he bounded off with Kagome on his back and Miroku and Sango following behind him on Kirara.

Kaede shook her head as she watched the group fade into the horizon. 'I know I made the right choice in not telling them everything before I bound them. Yet something tells me that they aren't going to be as happy as they should be when they return.'

TBC

AN!

I got this chapter out on time! YAY!…I hope you all enjoyed this chapter because the next one is giving me hell…I also am starting college in less than a week…but my job started today…so my time just went bye-bye.

I'm going to give you all a sneak peek at the next chapter because it might be awhile before I update!

_'Stupid binding spell! Stupid Inuyasha!'_

_"Don't be mad at him, Kagome. He only want's you to be safe." The small kitsune tried to reason with the hurting girl._

_"I know, but at times like these I realize just how much of a burden I am to him." Kagome's voice was full of sadness and it made Shippou's little heart hurt._

_"But it's his job to take care of you! My father always tried to keep my mother out of trouble." Shippou's tiny eyebrows dipped in concentration as he tried to judge the width of the animal barrow in front of them before he decided that it was small enough for his surrogate mother to step over._

_"Inuyasha and I don't have the same relationship as your parents Shippou." Kagome stumbled over a dip in the path and tried to hide the blush she could feel on her cheeks._

_"But you're bound to him now. That's almost like mating, ne?" His simple question sent her heart to beating double time. How was she supposed to answer his question? But as fate would have it Kagome didn't have to answer Shippou's embarrassing question._

_"No, it's nothing like mating, because unlike mating this spell can be broken." Kagome was caught off guard by the sound of a voice that she knew almost as well as she knew her own._

_'Kikyou…'_

Well until next time!

Pruningshears: My plan was to hook you all with mystery pain! And for guessing my evil plan you get a cookie! hands over giant cookie I guess the next chapter is dedicated to you because it has a fight scene…although it's not much of one because fight scenes are my weak point. I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

**Time Maiden: I hope this is soon enough for you!**

**Cinnamon Pixi Stix: I'm glad you really like my story!**

**Cat Youkai: Pocky is very good! I'm very glad that I can buy it at my local mall now! Oh and by the way the next chapter is Titled "From my Heart to My Head"…I think…**

**DiaBlo2: I'm glad very one thinks this is an original idea…and I'm glad you liked the Kikyou scene.**

**Kagomi: I'm gald you like…I hope Inuyasha saved her fast enough for you!**

**Hanyou Queen: I hurried as much as I could!**

**Kitsune Hanyou: Here's that chapter you wanted!**

**Emania: I'm sorry your brain is all mush! Your review made me smile!**

**b0ing: I'm glad you like!**


	5. From My Head To My Heart

Disclaimer: Lets see…if I owned Inuyasha…gets evil grin Oh, the things I would do! But alas, I own him not…neither do I own the song that is used below.

_:RECAP:_

"_Baba, when we get back you and me are going to have a long talk about this spell thing." Inuyasha announced to the old miko as the group was getting ready to depart from the village. She raised her eyebrow questioningly. _

"_Don't give me that look baba, something's wrong and you're going to fix it. So be prepared." With that he bounded off with Kagome on his back and Miroku and Sango following behind him on Kirara. _

_Kaede shook her head as she watched the group fade into the horizon. 'I know I made the right choice in not telling them everything before I bound them. Yet something tells me that they aren't going to be as happy as they should be when they return.' _

_:END RECAP:_

Chapter 5: **From My Head To My Heart**

* * *

And you've always understood my intentions are good

* * *

"INUYASHA!" Kagome screamed out his name as the hanyou crashed into the ground with enough force to break any normal human's bones. She gritted her teeth against the sharp pain that flared up along her rib cage.

'_Why do my ribs hurt so much? It's almost as if I'm feeling his pain.'_

Inuyasha cursed and jumped back up with a fully transformed Tetsusaiga grasp firmly in his hands. The group had happened upon a shard-carrying centaur youkai almost ten minutes ago, and almost immediately the fighting had turned intense.

"Bitch! I told you to run!" Inuyasha dared not take his eyes off his present opponent long enough to make sure Kagome was obeying his command. Sango and Miroku spread out behind the centaur trying their best to corner the creature against a stone wall. They were careful to avoid his dangerously powerful hind legs, as Inuyasha had just found out.

"But I can help you! The shard is in his chest!" The pain in her ribs had subsided as suddenly as it had appeared, much to her relief. Kagome tried to point her arrow toward the beast but Inuyasha was moving too fast for her eyes to focus on the half man-horse creature.

"I won't let you have my pretty jewel!" The thing hissed out it's displeasure at having it's secret revealed. "In fact, I'm going to trample your bones and then take all the pretties that your little priestess has."

"You leave Kagome out of this, you sack of fucking **_shit_**!" Inuyasha leapt forward with the Tetsusaiga raised high in order to cleave the demon in two, but the centaur was just fast enough to avoid the killing blow.

"Inuyasha, If you would just hold still for a moment, I'd be able to shoot him!" Kagome was determined not to run from the battle like a helpless kid.

"No! You'll end up shooting me! Just take the runt and go!" Inuyasha made the mistake of glancing toward her and the centaur took advantage of this momentary lapse, sending Inuyasha flying towards the ground. The whole left side of Kagome's body went numb as Inuyasha smashed into the ground.

'_Kami-sama, I think I really am feeling his pain.'_ She sucked in a shuddering breath and waited for the numbness to recede. After a moment Kagome's took a hesitant step toward where Inuyasha was beginning to raise from the dirt but Sango stopped her.

"Inuyasha's right Kagome! He can't fight this thing and protect you at the same time!" She didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as is did, but it was too late. Kagome drew in a breath to argue but shut her mouth with an audible click.

'_Do they all see me as useless? I can fight, I know I can…but Inuyasha's right, without my sight I might shoot_ _one of them instead.'_

"Kagome I didn't mean—" Sango saw the hurt look on her friend's face and tried to take back her words but Kagome just shook her head. The beast in front of her bellowed in pain when Inuyasha managed to land a hit to it's shoulder. Sango fought to stay out of the way of its thrashing hooves, and when she could look up again Kagome was hurrying away with Shippou in her arms. Inuyasha relaxed visibly when he felt her presence grow fainter but her emotions were still playing loud and clear in the back of his mind, distracting him from the snarling demon in front of him.

'_I'm sorry Kagome, but I'm going to have to shut you out for a bit.'_ He could sense no other demons within a mile of their position so Kagome would be safe for now. Without taking his eyes off his opponent he untied the piece of cloth that bound his soul to Kagome's.

"Okay, bastard! I've played with you long enough! It's time for you to give me back that shard!"

* * *

Shippou looked up at his adopted mother with worry. He had known the exact moment Inuyasha had blocked Kagome sight. Her skin became pale under her tan and her hands shook slightly. He reached up with one of his small paws and patted her cheek. He could feel the small beads of perspiration on her skin. Kagome managed to give the small kit a shaky smile before drawing in a calming breath.

'_I will not let this childish fear control me any longer! I'll prove to them that I'm not a sniveling little girl!'_

"Shippou, I'm going to sit you down now, okay? I need you to take my hand and lead me through the forest until we can no longer hear the battle. That should be far enough away for Inuyasha's liking." She gently sat him down and felt around for his tiny paw.

"Until I can't hear them or you can't hear them," He wished to know as he started carefully tugging her forward.

"Umm…I think until I can't hear them. With your youkai hearing we might get too far way." She absently rubbed at the spot above her heart that started to ache whenever she got too far from Inuyasha.

'_Stupid binding spell!_ _Stupid Inuyasha!'_

"Don't be mad at him, Kagome. He only wants you to be safe." The small kitsune tried to reason with the hurting girl.

"I know, but at times like these I realize just how much of a burden I am to him." Kagome's voice was full of sadness and it made Shippou's little heart hurt.

"But it's his job to take care of you! My father always tried to keep my mother out of trouble." Shippou's tiny eyebrows dipped in concentration as he tried to judge the width of the animal barrow in front of them before he decided that it was small enough for his surrogate mother to step over.

"Inuyasha and I don't have the same relationship as your parents Shippou." Kagome stumbled over a dip in the path and tried to hide the blush she could feel on her cheeks.

"But you're bound to him now. That's almost like mating, ne?" His simple question sent her heart beating double time. How was she supposed to answer his question? But as fate would have it Kagome didn't have to answer Shippou's embarrassing question.

"No, it's nothing like mating, because unlike mating this spell can be broken." Kagome was caught off guard by the sound of a voice that she knew almost as well as she knew her own.

'Kikyou…' 

Shippou let out a little squeak of surprise at the sudden appearance of the un-dead miko. Kagome turned to face the voice of her incarnation and shoved the little kit behind her protectively.

"Really, Kagome, do you think I'd hurt your little youkai pet?" Kikyou's voice was full of amused contempt.

"Shippou isn't a pet, and I don't trust you not to hurt him!" Kagome worked hard to keep any traces of fear off her face and out of her voice. There was no way she was going to give Kikyou the satisfaction of knowing she was afraid.

"It hurts me to know that you don't trust me with the child. After all, isn't that like not trusting yourself?" Kagome stiffened when she felt something briefly brush against her arm. She realized then that Kikyou's soul stealers were surrounding them.

"I'm nothing like you!" She spat out, while trying her best to tuck the shivering kit closer to her body.

"Those blue things are all around us Kagome." Shippou whispered up to her.

"I know. Please don't be scared. I'm going to get us out of this, but if you get the chance I want you to run and get Inuyasha, okay?" Her voice was urgent as another one of those creatures brushed by her.

"But I can't leave you!" the kitsune all but wailed. There was no way under heaven he was going to leave his second mother so that some scary un-dead woman could kill her.

"You'll have to, Shippou. It'll be up to you to bring help. Do you understand?" Her tone told him not to argue with her. Shippou eyed Kikyou and the flying blue youkai before nodding.

"Hai, I understand." He understood, but he didn't have to like her plan.

"Very touching…but I'm afraid what I have to say to you isn't for Inuyasha's ears. That means I can't have this little kit running off to fetch him." Kagome felt a shift in the air as the soul-stealers moved closer to her. Shippou's sudden scream filled her ears and caused her blood to run cold. He tried to grab a hold of her shirt as he was dragged into the air, but the soul stealers didn't give him the chance.

"Kagome! No! I want KAGO--!" His scream was cut short suddenly and Kagome felt dread well up inside her.

"Shippou! Shippou, answer me!" There was no reply from Shippou. Kagome cursed the loss of her sight at that moment. If only she could see if he was okay!

" Kikyou, you bitch what have you done to Shippou?" Kikyou was surprised to see the pink miko energy that swirled around the younger girl.

'_I hadn't realized that her powers had matured this far. I must be more careful.'_

"He is still alive, and I promise I won't hurt him." She motioned for her youkai to place the unconscious child on the ground. "Now you and I are going where we won't be interrupted."

Kagome heard the sound of Shippou being placed on the ground and she hurried over to him. She felt around on the ground until she found him. With trembling hands she pulled him into her lap and felt him for injuries with gentle fingers.

"That is enough. I've let you reassure yourself that the child is unharmed. Now you must come with me." With another wave of Kikyou's hand the flying youkai wrapped themselves around her reincarnation and picked the blind girl up. Kagome struggled in their grasp but found that the more she fought the tighter the spirits around her became.

"Let me go! If you don't Inuyasha will come after you!" she shouted desperately. The pain in her chest was intensifying. Where was that Hanyou when she needed him?

"I have nothing to fear from Inuyasha coming after me." Kikyou's cold voice washed over Kagome sending shivers down her spine. For the first time since Kikyou had come Kagome clearly showed her fear on her face.

'_Would he stop her from killing me?'_

_

* * *

_

"It's in his fucking chest!" Inuyasha yelled with exasperation while Sango and Miroku shifted through what was left of the centaur looking for the jewel.

"You know, Inuyasha, this would have been so much easier if you had left it in bigger pieces. I can't tell its chest from any other body part." Miroku told him with a hint of disgust in his voice. Poking his fingers around inside hunks of demon flesh wasn't the monk's idea of fun. No, his idea of fun was watching Sango bend over while she also searched not too far away.

"Keh, he shouldn't have said that about Kagome." Inuyasha smirked. "I couldn't let that go unpunished." Miroku just shook his head. Inuyasha would never change.

"How's your wound? Shouldn't you be off to find Kagome now that the battle's over?" Sango asked as she kicked over one of the larger pieces of youkai flesh. She couldn't tell if it was from the creature's shoulder or chest. "We might need her to find this damn shard."

Inuyasha flexed the muscles that ran down his back experimentally. The deep scratch that the centaur's hooves had given him was almost healed. It was time to go find Kagome and the runt. He reached inside the sleeve pocket of his haori and pulled out the strip of cloth that would allow him to feel Kagome again. Absently he tied it back onto his pray beads but stumbled when he was almost overwhelmed by the emotions that were pouring from her into him.

"Fuck!" Inuyasha grabbed his chest and had to lean up against a tree for support. Sango and Miroku rushed over to him in worry.

"What's the matter Inuyasha?" Miroku laid a hand on his shoulder, but Inuyasha shrugged it off. He managed to stand up and sniff the air.

'_How could I have missed this? The faint smell of grave soil and ashes. Kikyou was near by.'_ Inuyasha growled low in his throat as a particularly strong vibe of confusion and pain ripped through his link to Kagome. He was catching some of her stray thoughts too.

'_She's lying! She has to be lying! I have to be strong. Inuyasha, please come soon…I have to be strong. I have to be strong!' _He growled again and shook his head, trying to rid himself of her frantic mind voice.

"Inuyasha, snap out of it!" Sango demanded, "Tell us what's wrong."

"Kagome. Something's happened." He didn't have time to explain to any of what he was feeling to them. He only knew that he had to reach Kagome. Soon.

"Find the shard and then try to find Shippou. He might have been hurt when Kagome got attacked." He didn't stop to see if they would obey his words or not. He trusted them enough to know that they would follow after everything here had been taken care of.

Miroku and Sango grimly started to dig through the carnage again.

* * *

The glade Kikyou chose to settle on was high on the side of a hill a few miles from where she'd kidnapped the blind Kagome. It was a very protected spot that would work to her advantage once Inuyasha came after Kagome. She beckoned her soul snatchers to deposit her unconscious reincarnation a few feet away, then she sent them out to hunt for more souls.

'_It's all this pitiful copy's fault that I've needed more souls to sustain my life recently. It's her fault that I'm so weak that I have to feed off the souls of others.'_

Meanwhile, Kagome began to stir from her unconscious state. The first thing she noticed was that she wasn't floating in the air any more; the second was that she still couldn't see, and the third thing was that her chest felt as if it were on fire.

'_Kikyou must have taken me pretty far from Inuyasha. Crap, this hurts.' _She pressed one of her hands to her chest in an effort to ease the pain.

"I see that you're awake." Kikyou moved forward and sat across from the other girl. "Do you know how much trouble you've caused me lately?" she asked in a soft voice.

Kagome struggled to sit upright and turned toward the sound of Kikyou's voice. Her hands fisted in the grass at her sides when she remembered what the un-dead girl had done to Shippou.

"What do you mean the trouble I've caused you? You're the one who kidnapped me and hurt Shippou!" She didn't even try to contain her anger. The last week had been full of stress and anxiety for Kagome. Now on top of everything that had happened Kikyou had the nerve to take her away from her friends...And she wanted to talk about the trouble Kagome had caused HER? Kikyou ignored Kagome's raising ire. She only had a small window of time to speak with the other miko before Inuyasha would notice she was gone.

"Tell me, have you ever felt like you were missing the piece of our soul that I possess?" Kikyou reached out lightly and tapped the place above Kagome's chest that was currently giving the girl so much pain. The burning she had previously been feeling was replaced with the sensation of her heart being ripped apart by two different forces. Kagome couldn't stop the scream that tore from her throat as she doubled over.

"Ah, I suppose that answers my question. At least you are feeling some of my pain." Kikyou withdrew her hand from the cowering girl's chest and some of the unbearable distress Kagome was feeling slacked off.

"Wha?" was all she managed to gasp out as sweat began to roll off her face and tears dripped from the corners of her tightly squeezed eyes. Kagome fought to stay conscious with every last bit of strength she had left.

"The bond you have with Inuyasha is destroying me." Kikyou watched as Kagome fought for control over her trembling limbs and frowned when she realized that the blind girl was overcoming the pain.

'_She is mush stronger than I first took her to be.'_

"How?" Kagome managed to sit up with a little difficulty. She gritted her teeth in concentration, consciously pushing her discomfort into the back of her mind. If she was going to get away from Kikyou alive she was going to have to ignore the agony her heart was in.

"When my sister tied your two souls together, Inuyasha's overly possessive soul sensed that a part of yours was missing, and immediately went about trying to…fill in the gap…so to speak." She paused for a moment then spoke as if to herself, "I can't help but wonder if Kaede knew this would happen."

"How would Inuyasha's soul filling a gap in mine kill you?" Kagome ignored her last words about Kaede and focused on the other things Kikyou had said. This new information explained some of the strange things that had been happening since the spell was cast, like her newfound ability to feel his pain, but Kagome still didn't understand the significance of Kikyou's words. Her face must have showed some of her confusion because the priestess spoke again.

"You don't get it do you little girl? As a miko you should have at least sensed what was going on! You're willingly letting him corrupt our soul! If the gap in your soul ceases to exist then the piece I have will disappear forever. It will have no place in this world anymore!" Kikyou's voice sounded desperate and Kagome began to understand.

'_Inuyasha's soul is becoming part of mine and there's no place for Kikyou's piece to return to. His soul is changing ours into something different that she's not apart of.'_

"He's becoming a part of me." Kagome whispered to herself. Suddenly bright colors flooded her vision and she felt her stomach flip flop. Inuyasha had apparently reestablished their soul-link. He would be on his way to find her soon. Or at least she hoped so.

"You _must_ reverse the spell before it is too late for me…for our soul!" Kikyou's voice sounded harsh to Kagome's ears. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was this stupid girl _happy_ to have her soul meshed with that Inuyasha's?

'_She wants me to willingly give up my only link to Inuyasha? I…I finally have a place in his heart…a place without Kikyou's shadow...'_ Kagome was shocked at the way her whole body rejected the idea of severing her connection to Inuyasha. Her heart lurched and then sped up and her hands began to tremble again in earnest.

"But, what if I don't want it to be reversed?" She asked the un-dead miko quietly.

"Inuyasha will not let me die once he finds out what's happening! He will find a way to keep me from disappearing from this world even if it means severing his soul from yours by force and you know that's the truth." Kikyou informed the blind Kagome in a confident voice. She reached over again a touched the spot above Kagome's heart again. The control Kagome had gained over the pain shattered into a million pieces immediately.

"It feels like your heart's being ripped in two doesn't it? That's because our soul is fighting against Inuyasha's claim."

'_She's lying! She has to be lying! I have to be strong. Inuyasha, please come soon…I have to be strong. I have to be strong!'_ Her thoughts were spinning around in her head a mile a minute. She took in a shuddering deep breath and tried to calm herself. It didn't take as long this time for Kagome to gain control as it had the last time Kikyou had touched her. She used her hands to push herself into a sitting position again.

"I don't believe you! Inuyasha's soul would never hurt mine! You only say that because your afraid of what will happen if he fills in my missing piece!" Kagome nearly shouted at Kikyou. The other girl drew back and slapped her, but there wasn't much sting in it.

"I'm right aren't I? You're afraid of going back to the grave where you belong." Kagome could tell that Inuyasha was closing in on their location because the pain she felt at being so far away from him was beginning to ease.

"You still understand nothing." Kikyou stood up and moved away from the other girl. "Inuyasha is mine just as I am his. I will not let you change our soul into something that it's not meant to be! I won't let him forget me!"

'_She's afraid that he'll forget her? But he's promised to avenge her death by killing Naraku. His memory of her is what keeps him from truly seeing me.'_

"He will never forget you. I can promise you that" Kagome's words came out sounding strangely bitter to her own ears.

'_No, he will never forget you. No matter how hard I try.'_

"Then you understand." Kikyou's voice was back to its normal emotionless tone. Kagome saw the glade she was trapped in through Inuyasha's eyes and knew it wouldn't be long.

"He has come." Kikyou confirmed for her right before the sound of someone rushing through the forest reached Kagome's ears.

* * *

Inuyasha slowed his frantic pace when he finally caught sight of Kagome and the un-dead miko in the middle of the clearing up ahead. His eyes quickly took in Kagome's form, looking for any sign of injury. Sweat and tears ran down her cheeks and it looked like the only thing that kept her up right was sheer will alone. A low growl rumbled in his chest at the pained expression on her face and the fear in her scent. However, any thoughts of disemboweling the bastard that caused her to be this afraid disappeared when his eyes landed on Kikyou. Confusion and disbelief filled him.

'_Is she the only one here with Kagome? Was she the one to cause her this pain?'_

"Kagome, are you hurt?" He asked as he slowly approached the two. His eyes shifted back and forth as he fought an internal battle over what to do.

"I-I'm better now that you're here. She took me too far away from you." Kagome's voice was shaky but loud enough for him to hear her clearly. Inuyasha felt a strange surge of pride at her bravery, because he could feel just how much her statement was a lie through their bond.

"Kikyou, why did you take Kagome?" Inuyasha turned to the silent girl now that he had made sure that Kagome wasn't hurt.

'_Please tell me you didn't do this.'_

"Don't tell me you care so much for the copy when you could have the real thing?" She asked instead of answering his question. She moved closer but stop just out of arm's reach. Kikyou eyed him, curious at what his reaction to her question would be.

Inuyasha didn't know how to reply. Kagome's emotions of sadness, fear, and were overwhelming his thoughts. He couldn't separate her feelings from his anymore.

One of her thoughts kept repeating over and over in his head, each time causing him to feel a harsh stab of pain between the eyes, '_He's going to leave me. He's going to leave me. He's going to leave me.'_

"Damn it bitch! I'm not leaving you anywhere!" He yelled at her when he could take it no longer. He felt a flash of surprise in the back of his mind and then her thoughts began to become quieter. He could tell that Kagome was trying to rein in her runaway emotions and for that he was grateful.

"I'll ask you again, Kikyou, why did you take Kagome?" He desperately wanted her to tell him that this was all one big misunderstanding, but deep down he knew better.

"If you care for my reincarnation so much why don't you ask her what our conversation was about?" Kikyou turned away, but not before Inuyasha saw the hurt look on her face. "I have to be going now. Remember Inuyasha, the day is quickly approaching when you'll have to choose!" She made a small hand gesture, calling for her soul stealers to come and carry her away. Inuyasha rushed forward, determined to stop Kikyou from leaving without answering his question.

There was a loud sound of flesh hitting…something…and then Inuyasha was forcefully thrown backwards. Kagome winced as she felt the pain of his being thrown into the ground mirror itself in her body. Her breath came out in a short gasp. She was certain to be one big bruise in the morning. Inuyasha jumped up and ran forward again and again. Each time he was thrown backwards. By this time Kagome could barely keep from falling over herself as she hissed in pain.

"Inuyasha, she's put up a barrier! You've got to stop running into it! I-I don't k-know how much more I can t-take!" For the first time since he'd yelled at her Inuyasha looked at Kagome. Kikyou was all but forgotten when he caught sight of her condition. Kagome looked much worse than before as a trickle of blood made it's way down her cheek from her nose.

"Shit! Kagome that's the matter?" He rushed forward to get to her side, forgetting in his haste the spirit barrier that Kikyou had constructed. He heard Kagome give a hoarse scream of pain as for the fourth time in less than ten minutes he bounced off the invisible shield.

"Inuyasha, I can't undo this barrier by myself. You're going to have to use Tetsusaiga to break it down." The smell of her blood and the fact that he was being kept from her was driving Inuyasha crazy. He franticly gripped his transformed sword in his hands.

"I'm going to come get you in just a second, Kagome, just hang in there for me okay?" He was trying to keep his voice steady for her benefit but wasn't sure if it did any good. Inuyasha reached out his hand slowly until he felt the slight vibration in the air that signified a miko-energy barrier. Welding the Tetsusaiga in an almost desperate manner he managed to break a hole in it on his third try.

Quickly, almost as an afterthought he sheathed his sword as he ran to Kagome's side. Just as he reached her, the last of Kagome's strength left her. She tried to speak as he caught her and held her close but no words would come passed her lips.

"Shh…Kagome don't try to talk." Inuyasha sank down to his knees and pulled the injured girl close to his chest.

"What happened to you? A minute ago you seemed okay, now you're bleeding!" He ran a careful hand up her arms and across her back, checking the dark bruises that were beginning to appear on her skin.

"You…I…can…" Kagome tried to tell him but her breath was becoming punctuated with short gasps.

"Oi, I told you not to try to talk!" Inuyasha scowled down at her, she could tell by the way his eyes squelched up, but there was no heat in his tone.

"The spell…I can…feel…your pain…" Inuyasha would have dropped her had he been standing up.

"What do you mean?" He didn't wait for her answer before he rolled her onto her side and yanked up her shirt.

"Inuyasha! What-?" Kagome drew in a sharp breath when she felt his fingers pressing on an especially tender spot on her ribs. She couldn't help the blush that rose on her cheeks as a slight breeze played over her exposed skin.

"You have fucking hoof marks all over you, Kagome." His voice was rough with suppressed emotion and Kagome blinked.

"Oh." was all she could think to say to that remark. Inuyasha pulled her back into his lap and stood up.

"'Oh.' That's all you can fucking say? OH? _My **injuries **_are showing up on _your body_ and all you can say is **_oh_**?" He was angry but somehow Kagome knew that it wasn't at her, just at the fact that she'd been hurt. She opened her mouth to speak but his growl stopped her.

"I think it's time we had a chat with Kaede-baba about this spell, and this time I'll kill anyone who interrupts."

* * *

TBC.

AN:

College kills, kids.

End of story.

Speaking of college…inside of doing the tons of psych homework I have to do before tomorrow I'm posting this chapter!

I can feel all of your appreciation from here!

Now after you've read this chapter I know there's going to be an out cry for Kikyou's head on a silver platter. I'd like to make this statement:

I DON'T HATE KIKYOU.

Yes, you heard me right…I don't hate the character Kikyou…now the Kikyou some authors write in fanfics…she I could do without…In this fic I will attempt to make you understand the pain she feels…and I hope you come out feeling sorry for her plight…BUT on that note…THIS FIC IS STRICKLY AN INU/KAG fic.

So even though I feel sorry for the un-dead miko I don't feel she belongs with Inuyasha…I feel that she should be allowed to rest in peace…

Okay, enough nonsense from me…I just want you all to know that the next chapter is all finished…but it hasn't even been sent to Julie yet…so it might be more than a week before it's posted…but like before I'll give you a sneak peek!

I hope that helps!

"I'm not lying! You should trust my word when I say I'm fine." Why was he being so persistent? If she could just piss him off, Kagome knew he'd go way and pout in some tree and then she'd be left in peace.

"You forget that I can since your emotions little girl. And pissing me off won't work this time. You and I need to have a conversation about what happened today." With that he gave a strong tug on her hand to pull her up. Kagome tried to pull away from his grip but Inuyasha was having none of it.

"Leave me alone Inuyasha! I still don't want to talk about it."

"I know you don't want to talk about it." His voice was smug and Kagome felt her ire rising. He was rubbing the fact that he practically knew what she was thinking in.

"SIT BOY!" She yelled in frustration, not caring that his grip on her arm would cause her to fall too. Inuyasha crashed to the ground---but without much force. Kagome felt her heart sink into her stomach. As loud as she'd shouted that he should have left a huge Inuyasha shaped crater in the ground, but she doubted he'd even have a bruise.

"What just happened?" Miroku asked Sango from their spot next to the camp fire. She just shook her head in confusion.

"I don't know…Inuyasha should have splattered…or at least the spell should have lasted longer…but **look** he's getting up!" She pointed over to where Inuyasha was pushing himself up with an evil gleam in his eye.

"Kagome. Why did you do that?" His voice was calm and the others of the group gave an involuntary shiver. A calm Inuyasha was almost as scary as an out of control Inuyasha.


	6. Faint

Disclaimer: Lets see…if I owned Inuyasha…gets evil grin Oh, the things I would do! But alas, I own him not…neither do I own the song that is used below.

:RECAP:

"_The spell…I can…feel…your pain…" Inuyasha would have dropped her had he been standing up. _

"_What do you mean?" He didn't wait for her answer before he rolled her onto her side and yanked up her shirt. _

"_Inuyasha! What-?" Kagome drew in a sharp breath when she felt his fingers pressing on an especially tender spot on her ribs. She couldn't help the blush that rose on her cheeks as a slight breeze played over her exposed skin. _

"_You have fucking hoof marks, Kagome." His voice was rough with suppressed emotion and Kagome blinked. _

"_Oh." Was all she could think to say to that. Inuyasha pulled her back into his lap and stood up. _

" '_Oh.' that's all you can fucking say? OH? My injuries are showing up on your body and all you can say is oh?" He was angry but somehow Kagome knew that it wasn't at her, just at the fact that she'd been hurt. She opened her mouth to speak but his growl stopped her. _

"_I think it's time we had a chat with Kaede-baba about this spell, and this time I'll kill anyone who interrupts." _

:END RECAP:

Chapter 6: Faint

* * *

_I am what you never wanna say__

* * *

_

The journey back to camp was a quiet one for Inuyasha and Kagome. She was a little surprised at just how far Kikyou had carried her away from the site if the battle.

Kikyou.

Everything always came back to the undead miko in the end. Kagome sighed and tried not to squirm in Inuyasha's grip too much. For some reason, Kami-sama only knows why, he had decided to carry her back to camp bridal style.

"Stop your wiggling little girl!" Inuyasha tightened his grip on Kagome's body to hold her still.

"If you don't want me to move around maybe you should let me just ride on your back," Kagome snapped. "I'd be more comfortable there anyway," she continued under her breath. Inuyasha frowned as the emotional bond they shared flared up in his mind.

"Feh, why are you so upset? And don't try to deny that something's the matter, I can feel that something's really not right with you." He glared down at her sternly, forgetting that the effect would be wasted because she couldn't see it.

'I was kidnapped by a dead woman, and he thinks something's 'not right with me'? I'm beginning to see why Miroku says Inuyasha's simple minded. He's acting like nothing happened. But still…'

"Stop looking at me." Kagome turned her face away from him.

'…How could I ever tell him all those things Kikyou told me? This is all too much! I don't want to be held responsible for Kikyou's second death; yet, I can't help but feel that she doesn't belong in this world. She shouldn't have ever been brought back…but what about Inuyasha's feelings? He still loves her…. Would he hate me if he knew I was the cause of her fading from this world…Of course he would hate me if I didn't tell him! But…but will he blame me…Will he think that I somehow knew that this would happen, that I want Kikyou to die?

Don't you though?

No! I…I don't know! Maybe I would feel differently if she hadn't already died once…hadn't already lived her own life…But Inuyasha…I…I just want him to be happy…Everything's always for him.'

Inuyasha glanced down at the girl in his arms. She didn't seem to notice that he was again staring at her. He could feel the confusion of emotions that were spiraling through her mind. One of her thoughts kept bleeding over into his mind and echoed repeatedly there.

'What should I do? I don't want it to be my fault! What should I do?'

For a moment he was a loss for what could be causing Kagome to be so torn up emotionally. Okay, sure some of the things that had happened to them lately were upsetting. Like his wounds appearing on her body, or their inability to be physically separated by more than a half-mile without painful side effects. There was also the fact that occasionally he could hear her thoughts but Inuyasha didn't think she'd picked up on that fact yet. After all she was a bit thick in the head sometimes.

"If you care for my reincarnation so much why don't you ask her what our conversation was about." He remembered Kikyou's words from the glade. 'I can't believe I forgot all about that! I was so concerned about Kagome…I never gave a second thought about why Kikyou took her away from me. I wonder if that's what has her so upset. What could Kikyou have said to her?'

"Oi, bitch, what did Kikyou mean when she said that I should ask you about your conversation with her? Why did she take you in the first place?" He demanded, bringing the girl from her swirling thoughts.

"I don't know." Kagome lied. She just couldn't bring herself to tell him anything yet. Maybe after she talked to Kaede and found out more about the spell she would tell him about her conversation with her incarnation. She blinked when a deep growl started to vibrate in Inuyasha's chest.

"Don't lie to me! Even if I couldn't feel what was going on in that half broken brain of yours I'd still know that you were lying!" He stopped walking forward and looked down at her impatiently. He could feel that she was hiding something from him and that thought scared him almost as bad as the thought of her being hurt.

"Inuyasha, please don't make me talk about it right now. I need time to think it over." She pleaded with him wearily, but her hanyou turned a deaf ear to her pleas.

"Tell me."

'I have to know what you're not telling me. I have to know why you don't trust me enough to tell me what she said.'

"No." Abruptly he started moving again, but it didn't last long. Kagome let out a little gasp when one of her many bruises was jarred as Inuyasha plopped down on the ground.

"What do you think your doing? We need to get back to camp. I need to make sure that Shippou is okay! Miroku and Sango probably need help finding that shard. I—"

"I'm sure that the brat is fine, you baby him too much anyway, and I doubt that the other two need us either. As for what I'm doing, we're not going anywhere until you talk to me." He shifted her into a more comfortable position in his lap and then pulled her close to his chest. He wrapped one arm around Kagome's waist and another around her shoulders so that his haori sleeves would protect her from the cool spring breeze that was blowing through the forest. Kagome couldn't help but blush at their closeness. She noticed that he was looking at her face closely and she buried it down into his red sleeve. Inuyasha's behavior was really starting to confuse her; shouldn't he have left her by now to go find Kikyou? Yet here he was holding her close to his heart and demanding that she talk to him instead of finding the one he was supposed to love.

"I'm not going to tell you anything." Her voice was muffled but Inuyasha could still make out her words.

"Then we'll just be sitting here for a long time," Inuyasha informed her and sat back against the tree to make himself comfortable. He heard her huff and smiled. It wouldn't be long now before his Kagome would crack.

'MY Kagome? Where did that come from? And why does it sound so…right? Why did it feel so right to hold her close…especially after I was so worried about her?'

"I'll tell you every thing after I talk to Kaede, I promise Inuyasha." Kagome tried again to reason with the stubborn inu-hanyou.

"…"

"Inuyasha, I want to go back to the village now!" She tried to roll out of his lap but he just strengthened his grip on her.

"Inuyasha! I'll say the "s" word!" That got his attention. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"You wouldn't dare, bitch! If you do, you'll be crushed underneath me!"

"That's it! I don't care at this point! SI---"

"KAGOME!" The red-orange bundle of fluff that landed on her chest interrupted her from finishing the dreaded subdue words. Inuyasha relaxed slightly in relief at the distraction. That is until he saw her wince with pain when Shippou started to bounce up and down on her lap.

"Oi brat! Kagome's hurt! You shouldn't be jumping on her like that!" He reached out to grab the kit by the tail to fling him off but Kagome stopped him. She sent him a well aimed glare then pulled the kitsune close.

"Don't worry about it Shippou-chan. Now, are you okay? She didn't hurt you did she?" Kagome lightly used her hands to "see" if the baby youkai had any injuries.

"Hai, Kagome I'm fine! She only put me to sleep for a little while, but I was so worried about you when I woke up and you weren't there! I was sure that nasty, bad lady had hurt you!" She felt his small shoulders begin shake with sobs and tears spring to her own eyes.

"Don't cry little one. I'm okay…nothing's going to happen to me. I promise!" She tried to reassure him but nothing she said seemed to work. After almost ten minutes of Kagome rocking a hysterical Shippou back and forth in her lap, Inuyasha finally could take no more. He leaned forward and gently tried to pry the kit from her. Shippou fought hard to stay in her arms, calling out her name loudly as if Naraku himself was trying to rip them apart. Inuyasha folded his ears down close to his head to protect them from the distraught baby's crying.

"Shippou, calm down and listen to me! Use your nose." He shook the kit slightly and demanded, "Does she smell like she's going to die? Can you smell blood on her strongly? Tell me if she's okay." Shippou stopped sobbing long enough to sniff the air around his surrogate mother. His little face screwed up in concentration before he tentatively reached out and patted her cheek.

"You're really okay! But you smell like Inuyasha." Shippou informed her as he snuggled close to Kagome's heart. His breathing was still slightly ragged from his sobbing and every once in awhile a hiccup forced its way out.

"Feh. Of course she smells like me, I've been carrying her around since I found her." Inuyasha rolled his eyes. Shippou didn't hear him though, because he was already falling asleep in Kagome's arms.

"All his crying really must have taken his energy, poor little guy." Kagome ran her fingers through the kitsunes russet hair as she smiled down at him. Inuyasha shifted her around in his lap so that he could wrap both of them into his protective embrace.

He leaned in close to whisper in her ear. "Okay Kagome, now that the brat's settled down you're going to tell me what Kikyou said to you." His excuse for getting this close to her, for holding her in his lap for so long, was that he wanted to force her to talk to him. It had nothing to do with the fact that her slight weight in his lap seemed so natural, or the way she shivered when his breath played over soft skin of her neck reassured him that she was okay. He would never admit to needing the same reassurance as the baby kitsune had needed.

"Inuyasha, I---"

"Are we interrupting something?" Inuyasha growled deep in his throat as Miroku and Sango appeared in the clearing riding Kirara. 'Damn Miroku and his since of timing.' Inuyasha was sure Kagome was about to tell him what he wanted to know, but that perverted monk had to ruin the moment.

"No, n-nothing like that Miroku-sama." Kagome answered when it became apparent that Inuyasha was just going to growl at their friends. She struggled to get up out of his lap and this time he let her move to the ground next to him.

"Are you okay, Kagome-chan?" Sango asked, coming forward to hug her friend, ignoring Inuyasha's glare.

"Just a few bruises, but did you two find the shard?" Kagome brushed off the questions about her health in favor of the jewel shard. In her eyes the shard was much more important than her health. Sango held out a faintly glowing shard and dropped it into Kagome's outstretched palm.

"It would have been easier to find it if this baka had left that centaur demon in larger pieces. As it was we had to wait until it started regenerating before we could find the shard." The demon exterminator sent the sulking hanyou a glare. Kagome smiled slightly when Inuyasha 'feh'ed and mumbled something under his breath that was too low for the rest of them to hear. She reached over and patted his leg.

"Well, if you all don't mind, I'd like to get back to camp and take a nap. And if I'm tired, I know you all must be exhausted." She struggled to stand up with a sleeping Shippou in her arms. Sango saw the kit and motioned to Kagome that she would take him.

"Miroku-sama and I will ride Kirara, so I can hold him." Kagome smiled again, but shook her head.

"No, that's okay. He was really upset before he dropped off to sleep. I think it'll be better for him if I just hold him for a while." Sango nodded her head in assent and mounted up on Kirara before Miroku.

"Don't even think about it, monk." She told Miroku when she got settled. He quickly moved his hand away from her bottom.

"Your lack of faith in my innocent intentions wounds me to the quick, Sango-sama!" She just rolled her eyes at his offended-act.

"Just keep your hands to yourself!"

"No one ever understands me." He sighed as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders.

Kagome smiled as the arguing pair flew out of Inuyasha's sight. She chuckled a little at the thought of Miroku ever learning to keep his hands to himself, and then grimaced at the twinge of pain the laughing caused.

"Feh, weak human." Inuyasha scooped her up gently and started walking toward camp.

"You don't have to carry me you know," she told him in a weary voice. He just looked down at her.

"If I don't carry you it'll take you all day to get back to camp." He tucked her instinctively in closer to his body heat when the breeze turned colder.

"Thank you." Kagome's voice was almost too quiet for him to hear.

"For what?" His voice had also lowered.

"For saving me, for staying with me even when I know you probably wanted to run after Kikyou, and for not pushing me anymore about telling you." She rested her head against his shoulder and allowed herself to relax in his arms.

"Feh, you're not off the hook yet wench, I just don't feel like fighting with you right now." He totally missed her knowing smile.

"Is it okay if I sleep?" she asked him in an already sleep-slurred voice.

"Whatever." He listened for a minute as her breathing evened out to match that of the kit napping in her arms.

"I promise I'll keep you safe, Kagome, even if it means keeping you safe from Kikyou." He whispered the words to the sleeping girl with a determined look in his eyes. Shippou stirred in his sleep for a moment and heard the hanyou's declaration.

"I'll help keep her safe too Inuyasha…"

* * *

Darkness had fallen over the camp and Kagome sat with her back against a tree. She watched as Shippou chased some early season fireflies in the tall grasses beyond the firelight. She was thankful that Inuyasha was giving her the chance to watch his antics. As his childish giggles drifted by on the evening breeze Kagome let her thoughts turn inward.

'Kikyou. Everything always leads back to you doesn't it? It you hadn't had the shikon no tama burned with your body I wouldn't have been born with it. If I wasn't your reincarnation I'd never be able to travel down the well. Inuyasha could have been happier if you had lived….

But no, I don't really believe that in my heart. You wanted Inuyasha to turn human for you. You were ashamed to love a hanyou….I don't think he would have been truly happy as a human…even if it was for you.

A part of me is very thankful toward you. It's because of you and the shikon that I met Inuyasha and yet, a part of me hates you. How will he ever notice me when his first love refuses to stay dead?

Now…now I have to deal with this present situation. If I don't say anything…you'll just fade away…Inuyasha will be able to move on…to maybe be happy again. He wouldn't have to choose between us! All I have to do is not tell him that our binding is killing you.

Could I live with myself if I didn't say anything? I'd be responsible for Kikyou's second death. This is too much for me to deal with by myself! I should just let him choose once and for all. But I'm afraid…' Kagome felt tears coming to her eyes and she squeezed them tightly shut. She knew if she cried Inuyasha's sensitive nose would pick up on it immediately.

"What's the matter with you now, bitch?" Inuyasha's voice came from close to her right and made her jump a bit. She grabbed her pounding heart and glared toward the spot where she knew he was crouching.

"Don't scare me like that! And you know I hate it when you call me that." Through his eyes she could see that her nose was a little red, a sure sign that she was close to tears.

"Okay Ka. Go. Me. Tell me what's wrong." He moved closer to her and sat down. Kagome wanted to shiver when she felt some of his soft hair brush her face, but she managed to stay still.

"I'm fine Inuyasha. I just have lots to think about." She reached over to pat his knee but found her hand captured in his much larger one.

"What did I tell you about lying to me?" His voice was stern and serious but Kagome refused to back down as she tried to tug her hand out of his grasp.

"I'm not lying! You should trust my word when I say I'm fine." Why was he being so persistent? If she could just piss him off, Kagome knew he'd go away and pout in some random tree and then she'd be left in peace.

"You forget that I can sense your emotions, little girl. And pissing me off won't work this time. You and I need to have a conversation about what happened today." With that he tugged hard on her hand to pull her up. Kagome tried to pull away from his grip but Inuyasha was having none of it.

"Leave me alone Inuyasha! I still don't want to talk about it."

"I know you don't want to talk about it." His voice was smug and Kagome felt her ire rising. He was rubbing the fact that he practically knew what she was thinking in.

"SIT BOY!" She yelled in frustration, not caring that his grip on her arm would cause her to fall too or that the pain he felt by being thrown into the ground would transfer to her. Inuyasha crashed to the ground---but without much force. Kagome felt her heart sink into her stomach. As loud as she'd shouted, he should have left a huge Inuyasha shaped crater in the ground, but she doubted he'd even have a bruise.

"What just happened?" Miroku asked Sango from their spot next to the campfire. She just shook her head in confusion.

"I don't know…Inuyasha should have splattered…or at least the spell should have lasted longer…but look he's getting up already!" She pointed over to where Inuyasha was pushing himself up with an evil gleam in his eye.

"Kagome. Why did you do that?" His voice was calm and the others of the group gave an involuntary shiver. A calm Inuyasha was almost as scary as an out of control Inuyasha.

"I wanted to get away from you," she spat, although Sango noticed that her hands were shaking slightly.

"Because you're hiding something from me that happened today?" He moved closer to her like a predator slowly stalking its prey.

"NO!" Kagome realized immediately after the fact that maybe her answer came too quickly. She backed away from him until she found her back pressed against the tree she'd been leaning against earlier.

"I think you're lying to me again Kagome." One of his clawed hands rested above her head and he leaned in closer to her face. Kagome could feel his warm breath fanning over her and she gulped.

"I-I'm not l-lying!" She managed to squeak out, hating herself for letting him affect her so much but worse was knowing that he knew what he was doing to her.

"Kagome."

"I'm not…" She tried one last time to convince him even though she knew it was hopeless.

"Kagome, you're going to tell me what's been bothering you right now," he commanded her, sure that she would now tell him everything he wanted to know. Kagome opened her mouth but no sound came out. All she could think about was that he knew what he was doing to her; he was willingly using her own emotions against her.

"No, I will not tell you anything! How dare you! How dare you use my feelings about you to your advantage! Don't you care about how that makes me feel?" She was beating her fist against his chest and sobbing in anger. Inuyasha was completely surprised at her words. He hadn't meant to use her feelings to his advantage nor had he meant to cause her to start crying such gut wrenching sobs.

Shippou noticed for the first time the tension that was thick in the clearing. He turned to find his surrogate mother to reassure himself that she was okay. Only to see that she was sobbing into Inuyasha's chest while punching him.

"Kagome!" He cried out and hurried toward her. He wad determined to find out what the hanyou had done now to drive her to tears, but before he could start chewing on Inuyasha's ears he felt a hand grip his tail.

"Hey! What do you think your doing?" He yelled at the monk, who was keeping him away from his adopted mother.

"I think Inuyasha and Kagome-sama should work this out on their own, Shippou-chan. If you jump in there now you'll only make it worse." The little kit's shoulders drooped at the monk's words. Sango took pity on him and pulled the little youkai into her lap.

"Don't worry Shippou-chan. Inuyasha might be a baka most of the time but he would never hurt Kagome-sama on purpose."

For his part, Inuyasha finally managed to shake himself out of his trance and look down at the girl who was weakly punching him and sobbing into his chest. Slowly he raised his arms to encircle her slim waist, but as soon as Kagome felt him touch her she jerked away.

"NO! Don't you dare touch me." Suddenly her eyes widened and she grabbed her head. There were no words she could find to describe what happened next. It was as if she were seeing through her eyes and Inuyasha's at the same time. For a brief moment her vision cleared and she looked up into his golden eyes that were so full of confusion and worry, then pain came crashing in on her.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha caught her easily as she fell forward. For a moment he hadn't been able to feel her through their connection, and it had shaken him badly. For the second time that day he was left holding an unconscious Kagome tightly to his chest.

"What happened to her Inuyasha?" The others had rushed over when the young miko collapsed. Inuyasha tightened his grip on Kagome's body and sent a warning growl Sango's way when she looked as if she'd try to take Kagome from him.

"I think it has something to do with that fucking spell. I'm going to take her to Kaede-baba's village right now. You can all follow in the morning it you want." He took a great leap into the air and then disappeared into the darkness. Sango held Shippou a bit closer and looked over at Miroku. His troubled expression did nothing to help her feel better.

"Do you think she's going to be okay?" she asked hesitantly.

"I don't know, Sango-sama, but if anyone has the answers Kaede-sama will." He wrapped an arm around her waist--to comfort her, of course.

"Monk, if you don't remove your hand I'll break it!"

"Okay Sango—"

"I when I said remove I meant for you to keep your wandering hands to yourself, not move them to other parts of my body!"

"No one understands me!"

* * *

Now, if any of you get offended when someone has strong, bitchy opinions, then you might just want to skip the rant below.

For all of you up and coming writers I have a few words for you…NEVER, I repeat, NEVER…let me reiterate N-E-V-E-R tell people that you suck at writing summaries!

I don't care if IT is true! Don't say stuff like that! I have gotten to the point that if some one says that I stop reading the fic. Obviously you don't have any faith in yourself so why should I have any faith in your writing?

On a smaller scale, advertising that this is your first time writing isn't a good idea anyway. It hints that you have no confidence in your ability to write well in character fics. You people are just using that as an excuse for if you fic bombs…

I know you can all write! I've read the stories here, and I'll be the first to admit that a few of the storiesblow…but please people have faith in yourself!

You don't have to keep it a secret that this is your first time to write a story…just don't put it in bold font.

Now, about a summery…if you can't think of anything to write ABOUT your fic, use a snippet of the chapter as a promo.

I'm very sorry that I just said all that up there…I'm PMSing right now…and it kinda just wrote itself…but I feel better now…it does make me sad that so many good writers fall back on crutches just because they don't believe in their own writing ability.

there will be no preview this chapter…as I haven't written the next chapter…but I'll give you a summery…just special for all of those that have made it this far down.

Kaede tells them that they're souls are changing her spell and she doesn't think they can ever be unbound. All the stress finally gets to Kagome and she says that they must be unbound because of Kikyou. The next day Kagome asks it Kaede can at least try to unclasp their souls.

So the question is…Will they lose their link? I guess you'll find out next time…although as always it might be more than a week!

Bye bye!

Hitomi Lei sighing out.


	7. Someday

Disclaimer in prior chapter.

Chapter 7: Someday

* * *

_How_ _the hell did we wind up like this?_

* * *

Kagome awoke to the sounds of birds singing and the rustle of fabric. She remained still and pretended that she hasn't woken up as she listened to the other person in the room move around. The steps were slow, and Kagome could hear the slight creak of old bones. She allowed herself a small smile. Somehow, although she couldn't quite remember how, she had been brought back to the closest thing to home she had on this side of the well…Kaede's hut.

"I know you're awake child, no need to hide it." Kaede's voice was gruff, but Kagome could tell her mentor was happy to see her finally conscious. Kagome smiled and sat up, trying to stretch, but her muscles protested painfully.

"Oh, Kaede-baachan, what happened to me this time?" She opened her eyes expecting to see leaves and blue sky, or the interior of the hut's front room, or whatever Inuyasha was seeing at the moment, but instead she was met with darkness. She automatically reached for the jewel hanging around her neck, fingers seeking the small piece of cloth that kept her connected to the hanyou. The cloth was still securely knotted at the top of the almost finished Shikon.

'_Why would Inuyasha remove his tie? I can't really remember what happened yesterday…if the last thing I remember even happened yesterday…I wonder how long I've been sleeping. All I remember is that there was something I didn't want to tell Inuyasha…something…about…Oh, I remember now. Kikyou.'_ The smile that had been on Kagome's lips slowly faded as she remembered her conversation with the undead miko and most of what had followed with Inuyasha.

"I see that you've remembered 'what happened to you this time'. Inuyasha brought you back in the wee hours of the morning yesterday, demanding that I explain the spell to him. I managed to put him off until you woke up, but it was no easy task." The futon shifted a bit as Kaede seated herself beside Kagome. The girl caught a whiff of the elder miko's trademark herbal tea right before a cup of it pressed into her hand.

"I also convinced him to untie his link to you so that we'd have a few moments alone to see to your health before he came barging in." Kagome nodded her understanding as she took a sip of her tea. There was a moment of silence before the other miko spoke up again.

"Do you remember what happened to you before you collapsed, Kagome-chan? Inuyasha was quite certain it had something to do with the binding spell, but since he couldn't tell me what happened beyond that you disappeared from his senses for a moment I really couldn't judge the cause of your ailment." Kagome frowned at the question. She remembered yelling at Inuyasha, telling him not to touch her, and pulling away from him. Then…pain…and being able to see for a moment. She sat her tea down on the floor beside her absentmindedly.

"I think I'm going to have to agree with Inuyasha on this one Kaede-baachan, what happened was strange…hard to explain. I was yelling at Inuyasha for being a baka when he reached out to grab me. I told him not to touch me and jerked away. At that moment it felt like something in my head popped out of place, or shifted. Then I could see, but it was like I was seeing double. I think for a brief moment I was seeing through both his eyes and mine. For a second my vision cleared, and I remember looking into his eyes. The last thing I remember is pain that can only be described as my chest being ripped apart and then nothing. I must have collapsed after that." The raven-haired girl reached up to rub the spot on her chest that had given her so much trouble recently.

'_I survived for two years with a part of my soul gone, you'd think after all this time that things like this wouldn't happen to me. No, what am I saying? I've been possessed, kidnapped, and almost eaten more times than I can count, why not have the over protective soul of Inuyasha try to move into mine? Baka Inuyasha…baka binding spell!'_

"I see…this doesn't sound good to me child. I think you and Inuyasha might be right about the spell. Has there been anything else that you've not told me?" Kagome thought for a moment then sighed.

"Oh gosh, there's so much that seems to have happened since the spell was cast. I don't know where to begin." She worried her bottom lip with her teeth as she thought of all of the strange things that had happened in the last three weeks since the spell was cast.

"I understand, perhaps before you get started with the tale we should call in Inuyasha. It would be helpful to hear his side in this as well." Kaede stood up slowly from the floor, her old bones creaking in protest of the action. Kagome thought she heard the other miko mumble something about rain and her old joints, but the teen really wasn't paying any attention. All she was thinking of was the look she'd seen in Inuyasha's golden gaze before he'd blacked out.

'_As sappy and as stupid as it sounds, I miss being able to see into his eyes the most.'_

_

* * *

_

Kaede found Inuyasha sitting outside the hut with his back pressed up against its strong outer stonewall. She wasn't fooled by his faked nonchalant stance, after all, she'd been the one he'd awoke before dawn yesterday yelling for her to 'fix Kagome.' Kaede knew that the inu-hanyou sitting before her would give his very life and more, if possible, to protect the young girl from the future, and that thought made her smile

"She's awake and I don't think there's anything you should worry about…" The last of her words faded off because Inuyasha was already gone.

"He didn't even pretend to be unconcerned; this only confirms to me that this binding spell is changing both of them for the better." Her smile grew wider as she thought of this, but then disappeared. "I guess I can no longer hide the truth of the spell from them, although I expected to be having this conversation much later." Kaede waved to some passing villagers as she made herself comfortable in the warm mid-day sun. She would just wait out here for a little while and give those two some time alone.

* * *

Inuyasha slowed his mad dash through Kaede's hut just before he reached the door to the spare room where the raven-haired girl sat hidden from his view. He took a deep breath to settle his run-away heart beat and reached into the inner pocket of his haori and pulled out the small wrinkled piece of bloodstained green cloth. Quickly he knotted the strip onto his rosary and waited to feel the rush of her feelings into his mind. He griped the wall in a moment of dizziness as their link was reestablished. She was feeling sad, and to his surprise, a little lonely. Quietly he pushed passed the woven curtain that Kaede used as a door and entered the room. His eyes found Kagome sitting in the corner and even though he knew she would probably be mad at him, he couldn't help but stare. She was a little pale, and he had rarely seen worse dark circles under her eyes, but to him she was still beautiful.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked when he still hadn't moved any closer to her futon. She was beginning to feel uncertain with him just staring at her like that. Her voice seemed to break him out of whatever spell he'd been under because he moved toward her futon and sat down. Kagome shifted, uncomfortable at his nearness, but his greater weight on the bed only caused her to slide closer to his side. Inuyasha smirked at her attempt to put some space between them, until he remembered what she had said two days ago.

"Did you really mean it?" He asked her suddenly. Kagome felt confused at his question but before she could ask him to clarify he sensed that she wasn't sure of how to answer him so he continued.

"What I mean is did you really not want me to touch you? Do you really believe that I don't care about your feelings?" His hand rose to hover over her check but he couldn't bring himself to touch the softness of her skin. Kagome frowned when she heard the hurt in his voice, and then she sighed.

"Inuyasha, you have a bad habit of just plowing forward. When there isn't a quick clear path from point A to point B you just shrug and make your own way through with force of will alone. Most of the time I admire this quality in you, but not that night, I felt that you were using your ability to sense my feelings against me. You know how much your nearness affects me, and you just plowed forward trying to get what you wanted out of me." She turned her head away from him and Inuyasha felt as if he was lower than dirt.

"Kagome, I'm sorry. I just was worried about you, and the thought of you keeping something back that could potentially hurt you was driving me crazy. I could feel your guilt and fear and I couldn't _help_ you." He was desperate for her to understand what he was trying to say. For a long moment silence filled the little room as Kagome digested the meaning of his words. She'd had no idea that her emotions could affect him so strongly.

"I'm sorry for keeping this secret Inuyasha, I never thought about how my emotions would make you feel. I just can't tell you yet." Her voice held a pleading quality that broke his heart. At this moment he didn't care if she never told him what she was holding back, he just never wanted to feel the way he had when she'd pulled away two days ago again. When her presence in the back of his mind had suddenly disappeared, Inuyasha had felt as if something precious to him had been ripped out of his clutching fingers. If he never had to feel like that again it would still be too soon for him.

"I don't care about that anymore Kagome; I just want you to be okay." He whispered. Kagome turned her face back toward him and raised an eyebrow. She wondered if he was feeling okay because normally Inuyasha never gave up on something he wanted that easily.

"You're not going to try and get it out of me?" She asked.

"No, I'm not going to force you to tell me anything, but I'd like you to answer my first question." He ignored the surprise that flashed across her hazy eyes. His hand itched to touch the skin of her check, and he had to fight every instinct he had not to pull her into his arms. But before he touched her he had to know.

"What was the first question?" Kagome was beginning to feel tired again, but for Inuyasha's sake she fought to stay awake.

'_You'd think after sleeping for over 24 hours straight I wouldn't feel tired, but instead of feeling energized I feel like I've been running a marathon.'_

"Do you really not want me to touch you?" He could see and feel that he'd surprised her again with his question and sighed, "You said not to touch you right before you screamed and blacked out…I don't want to--"He was cut off when the girl beside him reached out a searching hand and felt around for his arm, then she moved closer and leaned into his side.

"I didn't mean it like that, Inuyasha. I was just angry when I said that." She informed him as she snuggled closer. Inuyasha didn't need anymore encouragement. He gentle pulled her into his lap and then moved so that his back rested against the wall. He looked down at Kagome and saw that her eyes were already closed.

"Are you going to take another nap?" Inuyasha felt a strange sense of contentment holding her like this, as if the world made sense again.

"Um hmm."

"Even though Kaede's waiting just outside the hut to explain what the fuck's wrong with this stupid spell?"

"Um hmm."

Inuyasha smiled softly as she snuggled closer to his chest. For the first time in more than a week he felt his body relax. Kagome was safe and healthy; for the most part anyway, surly it would be okay for him to sleep a little?

It didn't take him long to join Kagome in dreaming.

* * *

It took Miroku, Sango, and Shippou much longer to get back to the village even though Kirara was traveling at a steady ground eating pace. They were all worried about Kagome, but tried valiantly to hide their fears and remain cheerful. It showed through though in the form of nervous glances and fretting sighs. Shippou was by far the most despondent, becoming quieter and more withdrawn from the two adults the closer they got to the village. Sango questioned the kit about his moodiness more than once, but the little fox demon only shrugged his small shoulders and looked off into the distance.

On the afternoon of the second day after Inuyasha had taken Kagome, the weary group spotted the village fields in the distance. Miroku heaved a sigh of relief as the outer laying huts came into view. Maybe now they would all get some answers as to why Inuyasha had taken Kagome away so fast.

"Do you think their at Kaede-sama's house or down the well?" Sango asked, almost to herself.

"I don't know—"

"They're at Kaede-baachan's!" Shippou interrupted suddenly, "And she doesn't smell like she's hurt!" Both adults watched as tears welled up in the small kit's eyes. Miroku reached down to pick him up, but the child shrugged off his hand.

"I'm gonna go find her now," He informed them right before he took off running toward the hut they all had come to call home. Sango couldn't help but giggle at the little dust clouds he kicked up. Her laughter broke the last remnants of tension and they both felt their shoulders relax.

"I think one day our little Shippou-chan may give even Kouga a run for his money if he keeps racing around at that speed." Miroku smirked.

"He's just worried about Kagome-chan. The poor little guy is so afraid that something will happen to her just like his first mother. I don't think she understands just what she means to Shippou-chan."

"I agree with you partially, I believe that she knows he thinks of her as a mother, but I don't think she understands the weight of what that means to Shippou." Miroku noticed that Sango was staring off into the distance, deep in thought as they walked the well-worn path to Kaede's hut. His eyes caught the tantalizing sway of her backside and he felt his palm itch. He had held back from touching her the whole time they had traveled, mainly because he was a little afraid of what Kirara could do to him while they were twenty feet above the ground, but now that they were almost home he couldn't seem to help himself.

"Don't even think about it." Sango didn't even turn around.

"What? How did you know?" Miroku was surprised and a little disappointed that she'd caught him in the act.

"Call it a sixth sense I've developed about when I'm about to be groped. I thing it's a gift from the Gods." Miroku felt his heart plummet. Now even the Gods were against him? Oh, Buddha, but this wasn't fair!

"I must have done something really bad in my past life to deserve this kind of karma!" He mumbled under his breath. To have Sango's backside so close and not be able to delight in the feel of its softness!

"Did you say anything back there Houshi-sama?"

"Of course not, Sango, I was only whispering a prayer to the Buddha in thankfulness of our safe journey." He covered for himself quickly.

"Have you ever thought that maybe all that bad karma isn't from your last life time, but it's punishment in advance for all the shady things you've done in this one? Like lying about praying to your God?" She raised her eyebrows and looked at him pointedly over her shoulder.

"You heard me? How?"

"Call it a sixth sense…"

* * *

Shippou could feel his breath coming in short pants as he ran through the village. He was beginning to get a stitch in his side, but he couldn't seem to stop his break-neck pace. All he knew was that he had to get to Kagome. It was a need that went deeper than simple worry for the mother-figure in his life; his very instincts were telling him that he _had_ to see her. Nothing would be okay until Kagome held him and he was surrounded by her comforting mother-scent.

He rounded the corner of the hut and skidded to a halt. Kaede woke up from her light doze and noticed the little kitsune trying to catch his breath in front of her.

"Well, child, I see that you are back. I take it that Miroku-sama and Sango-san aren't far behind you?" Shippou only shrugged his shoulders. He wanted to see Kagome, but now that he was this close he could also smell Inuyasha's scent mixed up with hers and it was making him uneasy.

"I bet you want to see Kagome, hmm? I think both she and Inuyasha are asleep right now, but if you're quiet I'm sure he'll let you see her." The old miko took pity on the little fox, knowing that he wanted nothing more than to rush into the hut and find his surrogate mother.

Shippou only hesitated for a moment before he quickly moved into the dwelling. Once inside he paused for a moment to sniff the air so that he'd know which room Kagome and Inuyasha were in. With a feeling of dread weighing heavy in the pit of his stomach he crept toward the doorway.

'_I have to be quiet and keep calm if I want Inuyasha to let me stay.'_ He told himself as he eased the woven mat that blocked the room from his view away. Shippou wasn't prepared at the feelings that rushed through him when he caught sight of the pale girl resting in the hanyou's lap. His breath caught in his throat and he could feel the tears he'd been fighting hard prick the back of his eyes.

"Okka-chan!" He chocked out, completely missing that he'd called her mother for the first time. He launched himself into her lap and held on for dear life.

"Uhhh… Shippou-chan?" Kagome awoke to the feeling of a small bundle of fur slamming into her chest.

'_I've got to teach him a better way to say hello.'_ Her smile was quickly whipped away though, when she realized that the kit was crying…and calling her mother. She felt Inuyasha stirring behind her, but she paid him little attention. Kagome focused everything she had on calming the weeping child down.

"Shippou-chan, it's okay! I'm not hurt I promise." She smoothed his soft hair away from his tear-dampened face and kissed his forehead. Inuyasha had yet to say anything, but Kagome knew he was awake.

"But you told me that nothing was going to happen to you! You-you lied to me! And then Inuyasha took you away from me. I-I-I…" and then his little body was racked with sobs again, "I just wanted my okka-chan!" The child buried his head into Kagome's neck and folded himself in to her as close as he could.

"I'm so sorry, baby. So very sorry that I scared you like that, but I'm here now." Kagome was shaken badly by the kit's hysterics. Somehow, it seemed different than the last time Shippou had been upset.

This time he'd called her mother.

Even if Shippou hadn't done it on purpose it changed everything for Kagome. A part of her had always known that Shippou saw her as a replacement parent, but until this moment she'd been able to ignore it. In fact she'd almost convinced herself subconsciously that she saw him as a little brother. Like Souta. That was, of course, until he'd called her mother, and all the maternal feelings she'd pushed away came rushing forward full force.

She placed her arms around his little, shaking body and rocked him back and forth until his sobs quieted and his trembling stopped. His slightly uneven breathing told her the kitsune had drifted into an uneasy sleep. She leaned her head back onto Inuyasha shoulder and sighed wearily.

"I had no clue." Her words were soft and told him that she was still trying to process what had just happened. Inuyasha, himself, although he'd never admit it, was a little shaken too. Shippou's broken cries brought back too many unpleasant memories of what it was like to lose his own mother. He shifted slightly so that he could pull Kagome closer to his chest and rested his cheek against the top of her head.

"He'll be okay when he wakes up."

"But he called me—"

"I know."

"What do I do?"

"Do you love him like a son?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation in her answer.

"Then I don't see the problem." Shippou sighed in his sleep and shifted around and pulled Inuyasha's haori sleeve over himself like it was a blanket. Inuyasha growled lightly under his breath, and Kagome was amused when Shippou made a sleepy little yipping sound in response.

"I guess you're right. I just…don't know how to be a mother…." She absently retied Shippou's blue hair tie then tucked Inuyasha's red sleeve more securely around the boy.

"Feh, don't worry about it right now. I bet Miroku and Sango won't be too far behind the brat, and we'll have a lot of explaining to do soon." He shifted again, and this time Kagome could feel his leg muscles tensing beneath her right before he lifted both her and Shippou up in his arms.

"I can't not worry about it! I'm only seventeen, I don't know how to be a mother! What if I scar him for life? Or worse, what if…" Kagome's voice was bordering on panic when Inuyasha cut her off.

"Being a mother has nothing to do with age and you know it. If fact you've been just fine at it without realizing up until now. Just continue taking care of Shippou and everything will be okay." Inuyasha didn't know where all that had come from, but he blamed it on the sheer panic he'd been feeling from her. Kagome took a few deep breaths and focused on pushing her panicky thoughts away.

'_Inuyasha's right. I've been Shippou's mother for two years without really knowing it. All Shippou calling me mother does is seal the deal, so to speak. I can do this! I can raise a youkai son even if I have no idea about things like that. Okay panicking again. Well, I might not know anything about raising a youkai, but Inuyasha has to know at least a little bit…'_ Inuyasha felt her relax a little bit in his arms and he sighed with relief. Kagome's feelings in the back of his head were no longer colored with panic. Maybe she'd decided to take his advice and not worry about it.

"Thanks Inuyasha. I'm glad someone has faith in my parenting abilities." Her voice was almost cheerful again and that made him smile, "Hey, just where are we going anyway?" She asked as she pulled aside the woven mat so that he could carry them all out of the little sleeping room.

"Outside. We both need some fresh air."

"Fresh air…that does sound nice now that you mention it."

* * *

"Okay, now that we're all finally here we can discuss what's been going wrong in Inuyasha's and Kagome's binding spell." Kaede looked over the small group of people who were gathered around her. The sun was just setting in the west and the smell of dinner still hung heavy in the air. She heard Kagome heave a sigh as Inuyasha hopped out of the shade of a nearby tree and pulled the raven-haired girl into his lap. It was clear that the young girl was getting tired of being put in that position, but the older miko noticed that she didn't protest.

Shippou sat a few feet away, playing in the dirt with wooden top he'd made himself, but when Kaede spoke he quickly put his toy away. He scooted over to Kagome and crawled into her lap. Kagome absently shifted the kit around so that she could stroke his hair away from his face. She reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out the candy sucker she'd been saving for him. Inuyasha "feh'd" and mumbled something about the younger miko spoiling the kit. Of course Kagome ignored the inu-hanyou in favor of asking Shippou if he felt better after his nap. Their other three companions couldn't help but stare silently at them. Apparently, Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippou had no idea just how much like a family they looked at that moment. With Inuyasha's arms wrapped protectively around both of them and Kagome reaching out to tap the end of Shippou's nose with the sweet she'd fished from her pocket for him, it was quite an eye opener.

"This just keeps on getting stranger and stranger." Miroku commented. Sango glared and elbowed him in the side. He opened his mouth to ask her why she saw fit to always inflict bodily harm to his person, but Kaede cut him off.

"Inuyasha, Kagome, please tell me exactly how the spell has changed since I cast it 3 weeks ago." She sat back against the hut and closed her eyes. Inuyasha found that annoying. He wasn't about to tell that old hag anything if she wasn't even going to listen.

"Oi, baba! Don't think I'm going to let you sleep until you've told me **_exactly_** what I want to know."

"Inuyasha, I am merely closing my eyes so that I might meditate upon the things you're about to tell me. If you would only learn to curb that impatience of yours…Now, Kagome why don't you start off?" Kaede folded her hands in her lap and waited for the young girl to gather her thoughts. Inuyasha huffed under his breath, but remain quiet. For a little while the only sounds that could be heard was the popping of the fire and the occasional crunch of candy from Shippou.

"I guess…the first time I noticed that something was wrong was when I went to the doctor in my time…I made Inuyasha stay at home…I was fine at first…but I noticed that the longer I was gone the more…pain…I felt. It felt like another piece of my soul was being torn away. I ended up collapsing…. When Inuyasha…"

"I thought you left him at your house?" Miroku interrupted. Inuyasha sent him a glare and a growl and the monk managed to pull off a sheepish look that didn't reach his eyes.

"I was at her house, but I had this bad feeling that she needed me. I'm still not sure how I managed to pick her scent out and follow it. When I found her these people were putting her on the bed thing with wheels…"

"Stretcher."

"Yeah. So they were putting her on this 'stretcher' and they were taking her away. This old guy acted like he was going to keep me from her…"

"He acted like he was going to bite the doctor. If I hadn't been in so much pain I'd have laughed."

"He tried to push me away from you!" Inuyasha felt his hackles rise just thinking about it.

"Hey, he was just trying to do his job." Kagome felt the need to defend her family doctor to Inuyasha.

"Well, he wasn't doing it so good was he? You could barely breath for fuck's sake!"

"That wasn't his fault!"

"YES--"

"Can you both get back to the story? If I'm ever going to figure out this spell you're going to have to stay on track." Kaede interrupted the arguing pair before their screaming match could get out of hand. Both teens pouted for a moment before Kagome drew in a breath to continue.

"Anyway, I was in a lot of pain, but when Inuyasha touched me it almost all went away. And the longer I was with him the better I felt until I wasn't hurting anymore. After that we figured out that I couldn't get very far away from him without feeling some kind of discomfort." Kagome frowned for a moment before continuing.

"And when Inuyasha fought that last youkai we went up against all his wounds mirrored on me." Kaede opened her eyes and looked at Kagome sharply.

"What did you say child?" Her tone was calm, but Inuyasha caught the glint of worry in her eyes. He tightened his grip on Kagome's waist a fraction.

"Well, every time that centaur kicked him I got a nasty bruise until he untied his binding cloth, then when he reconnected us, every time he slammed up against that barrier that Kikyou put up it felt like my ribs were going to break."

"Inuyasha, did you and Kagome share the pain, or was she totally absorbing it from you?" The way Kaede looked at him made Inuyasha uncomfortable. He nervously began to pleat the material of Kagome's shirt with his fingers, until she stopped him with a gentle touch.

"I think at first she was only absorbing a little bit of my pain, but in the end she was feeling the full force of it." Inuyasha finally replied quietly.

'_I feel as if it's my fault that Kagome got hurt. It's almost like I can't win for losing. I try to protect her by fighting the things that want to kill her, but that won't matter because what ever they do to me will be done to her. Why don't I just hand her over to them in the first place? It'd probably save her some pain.'_

"Inuyasha, don't blame yourself for what happened. It's not your fault the spell's going wacko." Well, actually it was, but Kagome wasn't ready to tell him that.

"I wasn't blaming myself bitch. Keh." Inuyasha was glad that Kagome couldn't see his face right then because he would have hated for her to see him blushing. She sighed and continued the account before the others could prompt her. She really didn't want to talk about this part, but she figured it was bound to come up any way.

"The subdue spell has also changed." That got Kaede's attention more than anything else that had been said.

"Oi, I forgot about that! It was right before you decided to go off on me." Inuyasha's lips turned up in a smug smile.

"I went off on _you?_ If I remember right _you_ were trying to bully _me _into telling you why Kikyou took me!"

"Well, I wouldn't have had to resort of bullying if you'd been honest!"

"I wouldn't have had to lie if you'd have respected my privacy!"

"_PRIVACY!_ Let me tell you a thing or two about privacy, little girl—"Inuyasha's angry tirade was cut off by something that sounded curiously like a snicker. His ears swiveled in the direction of the sound as it grew from a snicker into an outright laugh.

"What do you all find so funny?" Kagome demanded, beating him to the question. By now even Kaede was hard pressed not to smile. Sango finally gained enough control to point out to the couple what they had found so hilarious.

"You two are fighting as if you hate each other, but the whole time you're yelling Inuyasha's holding you in his lap and you're playing with a strand of his hair. It's just funny how the two of you act." Both Inuyasha and Kagome turned a deep scarlet. Kagome dropped the silver strand she'd been wrapping around her finger and tried to squirm off Inuyasha's lap at the same time. He sent a warning growl at her and tightened his hold. Then he turned to the still giggling group and snapped at them.

"Stop laughing and figure out how to fix this stupid spell!" It took a few more minutes, but eventually everyone was calm enough to continue. Kagome finally won the battle for freedom and now sat next to Inuyasha in the grass, but he had a firm grip on her hand.

"So the subdue spell has been affected. Can you tell me exactly what happened?" Kagome pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them before answering.

"I'm sure Inuyasha can tell you about it better than I can. It was like Inuyasha was supposed to go splat but instead just kind of tripped…"

"Feh, all I know is she screamed that fucking word and it felt like someone was lightly pushing me down. If you ask me it's a good thing too--"

"You would say that."

"—Because the way I'm usually slammed into the ground would've left Kagome unable to walk." He purposely ignored her jab. Kagome was feeling tired and a little cranky from all the questions their friends were asking. He could also feel that she was afraid that someone would ask about her secret. Inuyasha couldn't bring himself to be angry at her again when he could feel her so acutely in his head.

"Maybe the spell changed because Inuyasha isn't supposed to be able to hurt Kagome-chan, and since she's now feeling his pain the spell lightened its force to protect her?" Miroku suggested.

"You may be right Miroku-sama. This is all very troubling, is there anything else you'd like to tell me Kagome?"

'_Um, how about that Inuyasha's soul is trying to move into the blank spot in mine and because of that your sister is dying…for the second time?'_ Kagome thought, but she didn't have the strength to say it out loud. Instead she just shook her head. Kaede turned her eyes to Inuyasha who had a far away look in his eyes.

"And you Inuyasha?" the older miko prodded him.

"Me what?" He asked distractedly.

"Do you have anything to add to Kagome's account?" Kaede answered in her most patient voice.

'_Maybe the fact that if I listen hard enough I can hear what Kagome's thinking, or the fact that I feel this growing urge to bury my nose in her hair and just sniff…whoa let's not go there…not too good for my mental health to think about stuff like that.'_

"Nope, can't think of anything baba."

"Kagome-chan smells like Inuyasha." Shippou spoke up from where he'd been playing quietly a few feet away. Kagome was so focused on the fact that Shippou hadn't called her mother this time that she almost missed the meaning behind his words.

"What do you mean, I smell like him?" He left castle he'd been building out of rocks and came over to lean against her side.

"Oi, I told you brat, she smells like me because I've been carting her around since she passed out—"

"Baka! Don't you think I know the difference? You carry Kagome-chan around all the time and she's never smelled like this before!" Shippou seethed with anger at having been questioned by Inuyasha. The kitsune looked ready to launch himself at Inuyasha's ears but Kaede's question stopped him.

"How does it smell different, Shippou-chan?"

"Well," He replied glad that at least one of the adults was listening to him, "I know it was a long time ago, but I sorta remember my other mother smelling kinda like that. It was like her scent had just a little bit of dad's mixed _into_ it. Not _on top_ of it like when Inuyasha carried Kagome on his back." There was silence for a moment before Miroku spoke up.

"So they smell as if their mated? Inuyasha, have you been holding out on us?" Before he could finished the last word three good sized rocks and a giant boomerang conked the leering monk in the head.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"As if you have to ask!"

"Can we just get back on topic here? Why in the fucking hell is my scent mixing with Kagome's?"

"Patience Inuyasha. I'm sure the answer to all these riddles lies at the root of the problem." Inuyasha was getting ready to give the old woman a piece of his mind for being so vague when Sango suddenly spoke up.

"That would explain it, you know."

"Explain what, Sango-chan?" Kagome asked wearily as she reached up to rub an aching spot between her eyes. Inuyasha could feel her exhaustion like flood waves crashing against his mind. Ignoring the others gathered around the dying embers of the fire he gentle tugged on Kagome's hand until he was able to pull her into his lap. She protested half-heartily but snuggled closer when he wrapped his oversized sleeves around her.

"Sleep." He whispered softly in her ear.

"I will just as soon as Sango explains." She whispered back before turning her attention back to what their friends had to say.

"If the spell is some how turning you into mates it would explain the way you've both been so…" Sango paused, not sure how to put it delicately. Miroku took over for her when he saw that she was floundering.

"What Sango-sama is trying to point out is that your behavior toward each other has changed…somewhat…since the spell was cast." At the look of confusion mirrored on both their faces Miroku sighed.

"I'm not following ya," Inuyasha told them bluntly.

"Okay, let me ask you a question then. Six weeks ago before any of this happened would you have considered holding Kagome in your lap? Or even holding her hand for longer than a few seconds on rare occasions?" Inuyasha's blush was the only answer Miroku needed.

"You've both been more affectionate lately without even knowing it, so I think Sango's right about the spell being the cause of that too." Inuyasha growled in frustration and instinctively tightened his grip on Kagome only to realize belatedly what he was doing. It was all getting to be too much for his mind to process, especially when he could feel Kagome's even heartbeat against his chest.

"But it's not possible what you're suggesting!" Inuyasha tried to reason.

"Why not? I remember my father telling me that there were two parts to a youkai mating. The first was of course sexual, but the second had to do with the fusing of the intended mates' souls. As I see it you and Kagome have the second part, so you're about half way there." Some time during Sango's little speech both Inuyasha and Kagome had grown very uncomfortable. Inuyasha was sitting so stiffly that Kagome was sure he'd break into hundreds of tiny pieces if someone so much as bumped into him. She gently reached up and clasped her hand over the hand he had resting at her waist. He let her fingers intertwine with his before he squeezed her hand.

"But the spell was only supposed to bind our souls together just enough to let me borrow Inuyasha's sight," Kagome pointed out, trying to remain the voice of logic.

"Yes, but it's safe to assume that that has changed. I don't know what went wrong but I think it is time we all rested for the night. I have much to consider before I can figure out what's going wrong with the binding spell, and I know that you've all had a stress filled past week. I suggest that we postpone the rest of this meeting until tomorrow morning."

No one argued with her as they moved into the hut, after all sometimes the only way to figure out a problem was to sleep on it.

* * *

The next morning Kagome was awaken by an insistent poking in her side. She groaned and rolled over; hoping that whoever it was would keep his sharp little claws to himself.

"Kagome-chan wake up! The sun's been up for a loooooong time! Miroku took me fishing again and I caught you a fish! Sango is cooking it for you and it's almost done! But if you don't come soon that stupid jerk Inuyasha will eat it!" When she didn't respond the little kit started to chant, "Get up! Get up! Get up!" Finally Kagome could take no more of his poking and chanting.

"Okay! I'm getting up right now, and I promise I'll go eat your fish just as soon I get dressed." She gently nudged him off her sleeping bag so that she could sit up. While she was stretching Shippou ran out singing happily to himself.

"Urg…I feel like I've been ran over by a noodle chart." Kagome scrubbed at her eyes with the backs of her hands. Even the mental image of a chibi-version of herself getting hit by a runaway noodle cart wasn't enough to make her smile.

"The next time I see Inuyasha I'm going to have to thank him for all of these wonderful bruises." Kagome spoke dryly to no one in particular.

"Hurts, huh?" Kagome didn't even look up as Inuyasha came to stand beside her.

"Like hell." She croaked, "Why couldn't I have been given your healing powers too?"

"I'm sorry." His voice was filled with such genuine remorse that Kagome managed to force a small smile past her taunt lips.

"Don't worry about it; just help me outside before Shippou comes back." She held out her hand for him to pull her up, but Inuyasha ignored it and pulled her carefully into his arms.

"Keh, he's been guarding that fish for you since an hour after sun up. Kaede wouldn't let anyone wake you up before now." Kagome thought she detected a bit of a pout in his voice, but she wasn't sure if it was from not getting any fish or because Kaede had kept him from waking her up as well.

"Has she mentioned whether or not she's figured out this spell yet?" She absently wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her through the hut.

"Nope, but right after sunrise she left for the temple saying something about needing to meditate or some shit like that. To tell you the truth I wasn't paying much attention." Kagome could hear the sheepishness in his voice and she managed to smile a bit more genuine this time.

"Well, I guess you'd better get me outside to my fish. Kaede will come home when she's found the answers, and until then we shouldn't worry much."

Inuyasha didn't bother to acknowledge what she'd said. He just concentrated on not hurting her as he sat her down on the ground outside the hut. Immediately Shippou bound over with a small, blackened fish on a stick. Inuyasha grimaced at the strong fishy smell and was glad it was Kagome that had to choke the thing down and not him.

"See Kagome! Sango cooked it a loooong time ago and it was nice and brown, but then it got cold while you were sleeping so I put it back on the fire…it turned this funny black color but I think it's still good." The piece of charcoal shaped like a fish was thrust into Kagome's face. She tentatively took the stick from the small demon and tried to mentally prepare herself for the bitter taste of the burnt trout. Just as she was about to take a bite, though, a few of the village children ran by yelling for Shippou to come play ball. He gave her a big smile before racing off to join in their fun. As soon as he was out of sight Inuyasha plucked the burnt offering out of her hand and threw it into the nearby fire pit.

"Inuyasha! Why'd you do that?" Kagome asked angrily as she saw through his eyes Shippou's gift turn to ashes.

"Feh, I was saving you from having to eat that shit!"

"But--"

"Listen, he'll never know. Instead of making yourself sick by forcing that down, pretend that you ate it and loved it. This way no one gets hurt." He folded his arms and sat back with an arrogant smirk on his face. Kagome huffed but had to admit to herself that he was right. Next time she'd have to ask Sango to keep Shippou from 'warming' it up for her.

* * *

"I think I have finally figured out what went wrong with the spell." Kaede announced to the group over lunch. All eyes turned to the elder miko in anticipation, but when after a full five minutes she hadn't continued Inuyasha became impatient.

"Baba! Don't just leave us hanging like this! Tell us what you know!" He demanded. Kagome cringed at the harshness of his tone. She was about to apologize to Kaede for him when the older woman sighed.

"I think we might have made an error in judgment when we failed to account for Kagome-chan's missing piece of soul—"

"You think!"

"Inuyasha! Be. Quiet."

"As I was saying…when we opened up the window between Inuyasha's and Kagome-chan's souls we gave Inuyasha's soul the opportunity to fill in the gap for Kagome. Their souls are now trying to change the simple binding spell into a more permanent mating spell--"

"Wait, don't blame my soul for this! It's all his doing!"

"ME! Why is it MY fault?"

"Because you're soul is taking over mine!"

"It's not my fault your soul is so needy!"

"Why you---"

"Interesting, Kaede-sama," Miroku spoke over the fighting pair. "Is there any way to reverse this?"

"No." A thick silence fell over the group at Kaede's answer.

"What do you mean 'No'?" Kagome whispered.

"As far as I can tell the spell is far too twisted for me to fix. Doing so could kill one or both or you at this point." The seriousness of Kaede's voice was Kagome's undoing. Everything Kikyou had told her about the bond came rushing back to her. She was seized by a panicky desperation. She would _not_ be held responsible for killing her incarnation the second time.

"We have to be unbound or Kikyou will die!"

* * *

TBC

AN: Sorry it's been so long, but life in my little world has been very busy. I did give you an extra long chappie to help heal the pain of such a long wait.

Oh, and I'd like to know if you all think this fic should be rated higher. Someone complained about Inuyasha's foul language and I was wondering if it would make that person feel better. So give me feed back.

Also, I've developed a taste for X-men: Evolution fanfiction, especially Rouge/Remy fiction. I guess it comes from me being from Louisiana. Remy's Cajun accent is soooo dreamy!

Anyway…because Remy is soooooooo different from Inu it was hard to get back into his Chara. I hope I didn't mess it up too too badly.

_**NEXT TIME ON THE WORLD THROUGH HIS EYES!**_

Inuyasha feels confused and needs to go away to think but because he can't go very far away from Kagome that's hard to do. He ends up on the roof, but really how can he think about Kikyou when Kagome is sleeping right under him? The next day Kagome asks if Kaede can at least try to unclasp their souls. Inuyasha doesn't argue and Kaede and Miroku start to reverse the spell….

So I guess the questions are can the spell be reversed? If the spell is indeed permanent what will happen to Kikyou? I guess you'll just have to wait for the answers in the next installment of TWTHE!


	8. Now or Never

_Disclaimer: Lets see…if I owned Inuyasha…gets evil grin Oh, the things I would do! But alas, I own him not…neither do I own the song that is used below._

_:RECAP FOR **CHAPTER 5**:_

_"How would Inuyasha's soul filling a gap in mine kill you?" Kagome ignored her last words about Kaede and focused the other things Kikyou had said. This new information explained away some of the strange things that had been happening since the spell was cast, like her newfound ability to feel his pain, but Kagome still didn't understand the significance of Kikyou's words. Her face must have showed some of her confusion because the priestess spoke again._

_"You don't get it do you little girl? As a miko you should have at least sensed what was going on! You're willing letting him corrupt our soul! If the gap in your soul ceases to exist then the piece I have will disappear forever. It will have no place in this world anymore!" Kikyou's voice sounded desperate and Kagome began to understand._

_'Inuyasha's soul is becoming part of mine and there's no place for Kikyou's piece to return to. His soul is changing ours into something different that she's not apart of.'_

_"He's becoming a part of me." Kagome whispered to herself. Suddenly bright colors flooded her vision and she felt her stomach flip flop. Inuyasha had apparently reestablished their soul-link. He would be on his way to find her soon. Or at least she hoped so._

_"You must reverse the spell before it is too late for me…for our soul!" Kikyou's voice sounded harsh to Kagome's ears. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was this stupid girl happy to have her soul meshed with that Inuyasha's?_

_:END RECAP:_

Chapter 8: It's Now or Never

* * *

_we_ _sit here yearning for this world to stop turning around__

* * *

_

Every important change that affects us has a small beginning. Sometimes, when our lives are drastically changed we can pinpoint the very moment that started the whole snowball effect. It doesn't happen often, because the very nature of change is that we don't notice its gradual creeping. In fact, Inuyasha could only count three such moments in his life; the day he heard about the shikon jewel, the moment he felt Kikyou's arrow pierce his heart, and the first time he'd caught a hint of Kagome's scent in the air. But those three little words that had just tumbled out of Kagome's mouth were destined to be added to his short list.

'_Kikyou will die'_ It echoed over and over in his head. He didn't want to believe it, but the desperately guilty look in Kagome's grey eyes confirmed one of his worst fears. Kikyou would die again, and just like the last time it would be his fault.

He was shaken from his numb thoughts when he felt a particularly strong surge of guilt and self-hatred scramble through his emotional tie to Kagome. He looked at her for the first time since her out-burst, really looked at her. She was rocking back and forth whispering nonsense like, "It's all my fault. I should have told sooner, but I thought it would just all go away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.", but strangely enough there were no tears in her stormy eyes. He wondered absently if all the stress of the last three weeks had finally sent her over the edge and into some kind of shock.

It was then that it hit him. She had known. This was what Kikyou had told her, this was Kagome's secret. And she hadn't told him. A small part of Inuyasha tried to reason, as anger began to bubble up in his chest, that Kagome couldn't be blamed for the situation they all found themselves in. She was, after all, just as much a victim here as Kikyou was, maybe even more so, but Inuyasha was never good at listening to advise, especially his own.

"You knew." Two words. So simple, yet full of so much meaning. Kagome tried not to flinch away at his tone. He had every right to be angry with her, but some how his anger still hurt her deeply. It was like two years ago, when he'd decided to go to hell with Kikyou, all over again. Kagome had the strong desire to run to the well and just escape all her problems here like she used too when she was younger. As if reading her thoughts Inuyasha griped her hand tighter in warning.

'_Strange,'_ she thought, '_I hadn't noticed that he was still holding my hand.'_

"I want to know everything, Kagome. And this time I don't want you to leave out **_anything._**" Inuyasha's voice was calm but Kagome wasn't fooled. All thought of why he was still holding her hand flew away as she tried to take a deep breath. Her chest remained tight despite her best efforts to loosen the invisible bands that griped her.

'_I can't do this. I can't face his anger. Gods, I know I deserve his anger but I just can't…it's too much.'_ The bands around her chest seemed to spread farther up to seize her throat making her breath come out in short gasps.

Inuyasha could feel the panic that was threatening to overwhelm her and his heart constricted. He hated it when Kagome was upset, but this was not the time to shelter her from the world, no matter how much he wanted to pull her close and tell her to just forget about everything.

'_What am I thinking? I want to know what's going on! I'm tired of Kagome dodging this subject. It's got to be this fucking spell trying that's making me soft!' _But even in his confused state Inuyasha realized that the only way Kagome was going to be able to tell him what he wanted to know was if she calmed down. And the only way she was going to calm down was if wasn't afraid that he'd get mad and yell. And the only way he wouldn't get mad and yell was if he was calm. Inuyasha reached up to rub at the spot between his eyes that was starting to ache. It was really all just a vicious cycle of confused emotions, where he and Kagome were concerned. They just couldn't seem to get it right.

Inuyasha shifted, bringing his body closer to the distraught girl. Gently he took hold of her chin and lifted her eyes to his, even though he knew she couldn't see him through her milky grey orbs. It was more of a symbolic gesture, because he wanted her to know he was looking her in the eye, that he was being honest.

"I need you to tell me what she said to you, Kagome. I promise that I won't get mad at you and yell." He paused. "If you tell me the whole truth." He made soothing circles on the back of her hand absently, trying to comfort her with his touch as well as his words. Kagome visibly relaxed and after a moment her breathing had returned to almost normal. The others, who hadn't spoken since Kagome's outburst, now shifted nervously at just what their friend would reveal.

"I don't really know where to start…" Kagome trailed off, still reluctant to share her weighty secret.

"Why don't you start with the beginning of the conversation, child? We do not need to hear the story of your capture again." Kaede suggested.

"Okay, I-I guess that's a pretty good place to start. Umm, well the first thing she said to me when I woke up was that I had caused her a lot of trouble recently. She then wanted to know if I ever missed the piece of my soul that she possessed." Kagome was careful to edit the next part where Kikyou's touch had caused her so much pain. She knew she couldn't take it out entirely because Inuyasha would know she was lying, so she glossed over it a bit. "I was confused at first about what that had to do with anything…but she…helped…me understand. Kikyou told me that the bond between Inuyasha and I w-w-was killing her. She said that Inuyasha's soul was filling in the gap in mine and that it was corrupting our pure soul. If…the gap in my soul ceases to…exist…then the piece she has will have no place in this world, it will disappear forever. She said it, the spell, must be reversed before it was too late." Kagome fell quiet as the others digested her words. Inuyasha was the first to speak.

"I'm corrupting your soul?" His voice was strained. Kagome squeezed his hand and nodded.

"Apparently, you're changing our soul into something that it was never meant to be. I…I don't agree with her. I know that you'd never do something that would hurt me." She was trying to reassure the hanyou, but her words sounded more like she was trying to convince herself.

"Did my sister indicate that the spell could be reversed?" Kaede asked carefully. Kagome frowned thoughtfully.

"Not really…just that it had to be done. Maybe…maybe if I hadn't waited so long to tell you it would be different." Oh how she wished she could see Inuyasha's face! It was next to impossible to read his emotions when she couldn't see into his eyes, and his silence after his first question was beginning to unsettle her.

"Inuyasha, I—"Kagome started.

"I need to go think." Inuyasha announced and stood up. He started to move away but stopped. With quick fingers he tugged off the tiny strip of green that allowed Kagome the use of his sight and then he knelt down beside her. Softly he pressed the cloth into her palm and folded her fingers over it.

"Hold on to this for me, okay? I promise that I'll be back soon and that I want go very far in case you need me. But I just need time—"

"I understand. Just please, don't hate me." Kagome whispered as the first tear made its way down her cheek. Inuyasha jerked back a bit in surprise at her words.

"I could never hate you Kagome! Where did you get a stupid idea like that?" The thought of hating this small girl in front of him nearly broke his heart. Kagome turned her face away from him and didn't answer. Inuyasha swore under his breath and reached out again to bring her sightless eyes back to face him.

"I told you not to leave anything out."

"I told you all of the important things. Just let it go Inuyasha." Kagome's voice was dull and Inuyasha swore again at not being able to feel her emotions anymore.

"Did she tell you that I would hate you?" He demanded. Kagome refused to open her mouth to answer him. Inuyasha was getting ready to say something else when Sango stepped in.

"Inuyasha, can't you see that she's told us enough? Go do you're thinking and leave Kagome-chan alone for the time being okay?" She put an arm around her friend and pulled her away from Inuyasha. He straightened up and glared toward the exterminator.

"Keh, I'll go, but don't think this is fucking over. When I get back we're going to have that long talk I've been threatening you with. And mark my word little girl, this time you will tell me everything even if it takes all damn night!" With that he stalked off toward the forest on the other side of the village, in the general direction of the God Tree.

Kagome listened to his footsteps as they grew fainter and fainter in the distance.

"What have I done?"

* * *

The stars in the sky above him gleamed weakly, as if they too were in a state of utter confusion. He felt something sharp poke into his back, and for what seemed like the millionth time since he'd settled himself of the roof to think, he had to pull a wayward piece of straw from where it had impaled his flesh.

"Fucking stupid thatch roof! You'd think this bloody fucking fire rat fur would keep these damn stupid things from digging into me!" To say he was in a bad mood would be like saying Naraku was only a little evil or that Miroku wasn't the most perverted monk in all of feudal Japan.

Inuyasha sighed and shifted again. He had started his "thinking" session in the God Tree, far away from the annoying distractions that always followed him around, but the insistent, nagging feeling in his chest that told him he was too far away from Kagome refused to let him think on anything else but her. So, in order to get some peace he had come back to do his thinking on the roof. Problem solved, right? Well, yes, but now he had a new problem. How was he supposed to contemplate the **_second_** death of a girl he was supposed to love while the girl he was semi-mated to was right below him? It was a next to impossible situation for him because his instincts were kicking in, telling him to forget all about some undead girl when one perfectly capable of bearing pups was as good as his, while his human side was trying to franticly fight back and insist that Kikyou _must be saved!_

'_It's not supposed to be this fucking hard! I'm just a simple hanyou for Kami-sama sake. I'm strong and I can fight to protect those that I care about…but that's all I'm good for. I was never meant to have to make this decision! _

_So protect the one you love. That's pretty simple._

_But it's not! How do I choose? I had a hard enough time choosing between those two before this…and now…I just don't know._

_Do you still want to go to the afterlife with Kikyou?_

_Hell no!...I mean…._

_Well, there's your answer, you don't love her._

_You've got to be crazy! It can't be that simple…_

_So you want to be unbound from Kagome?_

_**HELL NO!**_

_Then that settles it. You want to be with Kagome and not Kikyou._

_You're crazy!_

_Hey, I'm not the one talking to myself.'_ Inuyasha shook his head as if to clear it. He couldn't believe that he'd just spent the last 30 minutes arguing with the voices in his head.

"Those bitches are driving me crazy!" He mumbled to himself. No closer to an answer than he was half an hour ago, he let his mind wander. Inuyasha found himself thinking of the first time he met Kagome and the events that led up to the jewel being shattered. He smiled a bit as he reached down to finger his hated "collar".

'_Funny, when Kaede first put these stupid things on me she said that Kagome's word had the power to hold my soul…how ironic that she now "owns" a little bit of my soul._

_That's the only thing that I'm sure of right now. Kagome belongs to me now…and I guess that means that I belong to her. But there's still Kikyou…. Kagome needs me…but then so does Kikyou…and I've let both of them down so much…and I promised to protect both of them '_ Inuyasha sat in quiet contemplation for a moment. From below him he could hear the sounds of his friends preparing for bed. He smirked at the loud echoing sound of flesh against flesh met his ears.

'_Miroku must have tried to climb into Sango's futon with her, and by the sound of it she once again sent him packing.'_

_"Kagome!_ _Tell me a story before I have to go to sleep, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasse!_

Inuyasha cringed at the whine in the little kitsune's voice. How Kagome stood it all day was beyond his comprehension.

_"Of course Shippou-chan, now get under the covers. Oh and here's your drink of water. Drink as much of it as you want now before the story, because afterwards you're going to go to sleep with an excuse, ok?"_

Inuyasha rolled his eyes at her firm tone. Shippou had Kagome wrapped around his little finger and everyone knew it…except Kagome of course.

_"Okay, Kagome-chan. I promise I'll go right to sleep after you tell me my story."_

From the roof Inuyasha snorted and rolled over onto his side. He pillowed his head into his up raised palm and waited to hear what kind of story Kagome would come up with.

_"Okay, if you're sure, Shippou-chan then I'll begin. Once up on a time—"_

"_What does that mean? And why do you always say it before a story?"_

"_Because that's how all stories start. It means that the story happened a long time ago."_

"_Oh, okay."_

"_As I was saying—Once upon a time there was a little girl----"_

"_Why is it always a little girl in every story? I'd like to hear one about a little boy 'cause I don't like girls!"_

"_Okay, Once upon a time there was a little **boy** and he was taking some food to his sick grandmother."_

Inuyasha could tell that Kagome was beginning to lose her patients with the kit and he had to hold in his laughter. Maybe next time he wanted to bop the brat she wouldn't stop him.

_"Why was the grandma sick?"_

_Sigh " She had the flu."_

"_Okay."_

"_So this little boy was taking his grandma some miso soup---"_

"_But if she had a flu wouldn't that make her tummy hurt?"_

"_No because it was the kind of flu that makes your nose run."_

"_Oh, then miso soup would be good!"_

"_The little boy traveled a long time to get to his grandmothers house and it was getting late. Now the little boy came to a fork in the path and he was confused at which path to take. Should he take the Path of Pins, or the Path of Needles? He knew that they both lead to his grandmother house, but he needed to get there fast and he didn't know which one was shortest. While he was thinking about it a hungry wolf happened to walk by. He saw the little boy, and smelled the miso soup and decided to see if the boy would be kind enough to give him a taste of it._

'_Little boy,' he said in his most charming voice, 'Will you give me a taste of that wonderful smelling soup?'_

_The little boy looked over at the wolf and quickly decided to trick the wolf into telling him what he needed to know. He'd tell the wolf that he'd give him some soup if he told him the quickest route and when the wolf told him what he needed to know he'd run as fast as he could to his grandmother and keep all the soup for her._

_But the wolf is a crafty creature and he figured out the trick the boy was trying to pull---"_

"_How did he know that the little boy was lying?"_

Inuyasha had been wondering that himself. He'd also been wondering just how long it would be before kit asked another question, and by the sleepy sound of his voice he could tell that it wouldn't be long before Shippou was asleep.

_"He just did Shippou."_

"_I bet he could smell it 'cause if the wolf could talk that means he must have been a youkai and if he was a youkai that means that he could smell stuff like that."_

"_You're probably right; anyway the wolf knew what the little boy was trying to do so he decided to turn the trick around on the boy._

'_Take the Path of Pins little one,' he said in his most truthful voice, 'It's the shortest way to your grandmother's house.' But this was, of course, a lie. The Path of Pins was a long and scary road, very dangerous for a young boy to take while the Path of Needles was short and lead right up to grandmother's doorstep. The little boy didn't even wait to thank the wolf for his kindness before he ran off down the path. The wolf just smirked and took the Path of Needles to wait for the boy at his grandmother's door. _

Kagome paused in the story and Inuyasha could hear the rustle of fabric. Since she didn't continue on with the story he figured that Shippou must have fallen asleep, but he could easily imagine how the story ended.

_"I wonder what path Inuyasha will choose. That Path of Pins or Needles?"_

Her question was spoken so softly that he almost missed it. Inuyasha rolled back over so that he could watch the stars again. They weren't shining any brighter, still as muddled and confused as he was.

'_The Path of Pins or the Path of Needles…why do I feel like no matter which I choose I'm still going to get eaten by the hungry wolf in the end?'_

_

* * *

_

Kagome sighed. It was a long heartfelt sigh, the kind that comes all the way from your toes and carries all your sadness, frustration, and confusion with it. She has been awake for hours and Inuyasha still wasn't back from where ever he'd gone yesterday. Her stomach tied into knots just thinking about yesterday. She heaved another sigh before deciding that there was no use thinking about it now.

Kagome stood up and tenitivly reached out to find the hut wall. She was getting better at navigation through Kaede's home without her sight, but she was always half-afraid that someone would move something and not tell her about it. With shuffling feet she made her way toward where she _thought_ the door was…only the growl with frustration when her hand met yet another wall.

"Stupid Inuyasha! Where are you when I need you?" She murmured aloud, and then felt bad because of it. Inuyasha tried his hardest to be there for her when she was really in trouble, and he felt really guilty about it when he couldn't protect her.

"Okay, that damn door has to be around here some where." She reasoned with herself as she kept on following the wall. After going a little way, Kagome could feel a slight breeze on her face. She smiled to herself. AH-HA! She couldn't tell yet if she'd found a door or a window, but either way it was an opening to the outside world!

With questing fingers she traced the rough wood around the source of the wind. Okay, this was the window. That meant that the door was in the opposite direction. With a wide smile Kagome turned away from the window, but stopped when she heard her name. Out of curiosity she edged back toward the window. It sounded like Kaede and Miroku were talking about her. She justified eavesdropping on them by telling herself that they might know where Inuyasha had taken himself.

_"So you're positive that there's nothing you can do to reverse this spell?"_

Miroku's voice sounded tired. Kagome remembered that he and Kaede had gone to the temple this morning to meditate on their problem. Obviously it had taken a lot out of them.

_"I have not the power for this. It took all I have to just perform the spell in the first casting. Now that their souls have warped the spell it is out of my hands."_

Kagome felt tears well up in her eyes. So it was true. There was no way to fix this. Inuyasha might not hate her now but he would when he heard that all hope was gone. That was if he ever came back.

_"What about Kagome-chan? You've said on several occasions that she has power to rival that of Kikyou's. Couldn't she undo this spell?"_

Kagome's hand went to her mouth and she unconsciously leaned in closer to hear what they had to say.

_"She has no training for such a spell. The girl just had her first power flux a few weeks ago and it blinded her. That much power, even if she could focus it…"_

"_But with training?_

"_In a few years, with the proper training, she might have the focus to do such a huge task. But right now she is virtually untrained." _

"_But I thought that a miko's magic came naturally. I was under the impression that unlike other magic-users, mikos don't have to learn their spells before hand because of their connection with nature._

"_You are right, Miroku-sama. But a miko must learn tremendous focus before they can do even the smallest spell-casting. Even with all her power, Kagome-chan has no focus unless she feels threatened. I have begun to wonder if she will ever be able to find her focus. _

Kagome felt all her newly born hopes die in her chest. Kaede thought she was powerful, but her teacher doubted her ability to ever use her miko strength. The half formed lump in her throat hardened, blocking her ability to pull oxygen into her lungs. Kaede had all but given up on her. The one person who encouraged her to never give up on her miko heritage didn't even think she was capable! Kagome waited for overwhelming sadness or feelings of betray to drown her, but neither of those emotions came. Instead she got angry. They thought she couldn't do it? Well, she'd show them just what she was capable of. With determination she let go of the wall she'd been grasping to for dear life and swallowed the lump in her throat. With steady steps she made her way toward the doorway. Once outside she took a moment to get her bearings. The path toward the forest was to the right. It she was careful she would be able to avoid the rice fields with little problem.

Reaching into her pocket she found the tie that Inuyasha had pressed into her hand yesterday before he disappeared. If her instincts where right, this was all she'd need to undo the spell her self.

* * *

Inuyasha dipped his toe into the edge of the warm spring water and swirled it around thoughtfully. After his night on the hut roof, where he'd spent all his time listening to Kagome's breathing, he finally decided to spend some time at the natural springs not far from the village. Inuyasha figured that if anything happened he'd be a lot closer to the village here than at the God Tree.

With a sigh he lay back on his back to watch the clouds. He was a bit frustrated because all his night-and-next-day thinking session had accomplished was to give him a whopping headache. He was no closer to the truth than he had ever been.

'_Maybe that's the point. Maybe I'm not getting any closer to the point because I've already arrived at the answer? Okay, I know I don't want to be unbound from Kagome. I don't know if it's this fucking spell, or something else, but the very thought makes me sick inside. And I know that I don't want Kikyou to die, but I figure that we've all been in tighter spots than the prospect of slow painful death…right? I'm sure there's a way to save both girls, I just have to find it!_

"Now all I have to do is find Kagome and tell her all of this…" His voice drifted off at the thought of facing her after he'd been gone so long. He was sure his back would brake from all the 'sit's' she'd inflict on him.

"I hate that damn word. If I never hear it again in my life it'll be too soon." He mumbled to himself as he fingered the rosary around his neck. Then he remembered that last time she'd sat him.

'_It didn't work right…Instead of my body leaving an Inuyasha-shaped crater in the ground it was only liked I'd tripped over something, and I was able to get up much quicker. Hmm…maybe I don't hate this whole situation as much as I thought I did.'_

The sudden sound of running footsteps drew him out of his thoughts. He sniffed the air questioningly to figure out who it was coming toward him at such break-neck speed.

"Shippou?" Inuyasha was confused at the fear he could smell coming from the child. Shippou never got this worried and afraid unless…

"INUYASHA!" The little kit wailed when he caught sight of the older male. He launched himself into Inuyasha's chest and held on with a death grip.

"Shippou, calm down, tell me what's happened." He tried his best to speak calmly to the child but his voice still came out in a growl.

"It's Kagome…we can't find her anywhere!"

"Okay, Kagome now where was that rock? It has to be around here somewhere…I mean big rocks just don't get up and walk away do they? I guess if they were youkai rocks they could…but are there youkai rocks? I mean I know there are tree youkai, so there could possibly be rock youkai…" She knew she was babbling to herself but that was the only way she knew to keep the fear that was threatening to bubble up inside of her pressed down.

At the moment she was deep in the forest, going in the opposite way of the well and the God tree on purpose. Kagome realized that once they found her gone those would be the first places they'd look for her. The problem with going this way was that she'd only been in this side of the forest once while hunting for herbs with Kaede so she wasn't really sure of the landscape. Thank Kami-sama that she remembered what Kaede had taught her about reading auras or she'd really be in trouble. Using her newly found power, Kagome was able to "see" where she was going by sensing the life energy of everything around her. She was also concentrating on covering up her scent so that Inuyasha wouldn't be able to find her so quickly.

"HA! I'll show you not being able to focus! I know I can use my miko powers no matter what you think!" She told the imaginary Kaede in her head. Around her the auras she was 'seeing' faded and she stumbled over a large tree root.

"Err…Focus, Kagome! Focus or she'll be right!" Kagome stopped for a minute to catch her breath and to re-center herself. She shut her sightless eyes and concentrated on taking deep even breaths. With effort she cleared her mind of every thought but seeing the life energy of the nature around her. When she opened her eyes again the auras were shining brighter to her senses than they had previously. Up ahead she could see a large grayish-purple blob that she'd come to associate with stone.

"Finally." She mumbled as she made her way over toward it carefully. When she got to the large slab she ran her hand over its weather-smoothed surface. "Perfect."

With fumbling hands she searched around the base of the rock for pebbles and small stones to use in her spell. Kaede had been right about spells coming natural to you when you focused, because Kagome was flying on auto-pilot at this point. When she'd found the right number, Kagome hoisted herself up onto the stone slab and felt around to her collected pebbles.

With these smaller stones she formed two circles: one around herself and a smaller one in front of her. Next, she fished the strip of cloth that Inuyasha had given her to hold for him out of her pocket and placed it gently in the middle of the second stone circle. Her tie to him soon followed the first.

"Okay, so far so good. Now what's next?" Kagome could feel her strength begin to wane so she reluctantly let go of her concentration on the auras and she stopped trying to mask her scent.

"I can do this. I've come this far, now there's no turning back. I'm doing this so that Inuyasha doesn't have to make such a horrible choice between Kikyou and me." She reassured herself. But a tiny voice in the back of her head protested.

'_You're only doing this so that he doesn't have the chance to choose. Face it; you'd fall apart if he choose Kikyou over you.'_

"No. I am not going to listen to this. I'm doing this because I love him and I can't stand to see him in pain." With a determined shake of her head Kagome forced her mind back onto the spell at hand. This time the next step in the spell easily came to her. With a slight hand movement she created a barrier around herself that used the larger circle of rocks as a point of origin. She raised the pink walls up until they met above her, forming a softly glowing, incandescing bubble. She waited for a moment until the barrier was stabilized before she let out the breath she'd been holding.

"Now comes the hard part."

* * *

Inuyasha arrived back at Kaede's hut in record time with Shippou clinging to his back. He stretched his senses out, hoping that the little kit had been wrong about Kagome being gone. He tried to convince himself that Shippou was just overreacting, that Kagome would meet him at the door and smile, maybe even laugh at how frantic he was. But he knew that this was just wishful thinking, something in the air, a certain echoing emptiness in the back of his mind told him that she wasn't here anymore.

"Where is she?" He asked the monk and the miko who should have been keeping the young woman safe. Kaede looked up at him impassively, her worry well hidden behind her eyes. Miroku couldn't quite meet his friend's gaze. He wanted to avoid looking into the emotional whirlpool he knew he would find there.

"We think she might have over heard us…discussing the spell…after we arrived home from the temple. She could have left anytime after that. We only discovered Kagome-san gone after Sango-can and Shippou-chan came back from hunting berries…"

Inuyasha impatiently waved his hand in the air to interrupt the flow of Miroku's words. He didn't care about berries or conversations…he was only interested in finding Kagome.

"No more than a few hours." Miroku answered in a subdued voice. Sango noticed the white-knuckled grip he had on his staff, but she didn't comment on it. She was curious about what Kagome might have overheard, but yet again she kept silent, not sure if the information would help or hinder their present situation.

"Fucking hell! Hours? She's blind and she's been out there lost for hours?" Inuyasha wanted to tear something apart. Kagome hated the dark and now she was wandering around somewhere all alone. She was vulnerable to any rogue youkai she might come across.

"There's something you need to know Inuyasha. Kagome might have over heard something of our conversation about the spell this morning, and if she did over hear what was said she's probably going to try to reverse this thing herself." Kaede spoke for the first time. Inuyasha swore under his breath and stalked over to stand above the elder woman threatingly.

"Just how sure are you about this, baba?" His voice had gone quiet, and his growl had settled deep in his throat. Inuyasha was acting just like a youkai male whose mate was in trouble, and if the situation hadn't been so desperate Kaede might have smiled at his actions.

Kaede never had the chance to answer Inuyasha's question, for suddenly he pitched forward onto the ground with a muffled curse and a wince of pain. He struggled feebly, as if all his strength was being ripped from his body. Kaede was shocked to see that that wasn't far from the truth. With her miko sight she could see a long red cord that seemed to disappear into the withering hanyou's chest. She recognized the cord for what it was, the soul tie she'd used to bind Kagome and Inuyasha together all those weeks ago. Something on the other end of the cord must have given it a hard tug because to her horror Inuyasha's soul was pulled up half-way out of his body. She and Miroku moved at the same time to try and anchor it with magic, but Inuyasha was faster. He reached up, and although it should have been impossible, he caught hold of his own soul and pulled it back down into his body.

Everyone stood still for a long moment, almost afraid to breath, as the waited for something else to happen. Nothing did. Inuyasha regained enough of his strength to sit up, his breath coming out in short rasps and his eyes clenched shut.

"Would someone mind telling me what just happened to me?" He didn't bother opening his eyes to shoot any of them a glare. He figured they were smart enough to hear it in his voice.

"She has begun." Kaede's simple explanation had an eerie edge to it that didn't comfort any of them.

* * *

Somewhere off in the distance Kagome almost fell off the rock she was perched on, the red cord in her hand being yanked from her grasp. She caught her breath and held it until the pain of her experiment subsided. Okay, so trying to just pull the thread out wasn't going to work. She frowned, realizing that she only had one other option left to undo the spell.

Taking another deep breath she focused hard on the unpleasant task at hand. Inside, one by one, the locks that held her soul inside her body were unclasped and after a few short moments she could feel the strange sensation of floating freely above her own body. Opening her eyes a crack she had to fight down panic at the sight of her body lying limp below her.

'_I don't have time for this now. I have to work fast before Inuyasha finds me.'_ With steady hands she found the red cord again. With detached fascination Kagome stared down at the intricate stitchery that attached the cord to herself. Somewhere in the back of her mind she remembered that a red cord was significant of something but it was only a vague thought that floated under the surface of her mind.

'_I can't un-stitch it…but maybe if I cut the cord…no. That would kill us both. I have to find the part of the spell that's been changed. I can change it back without damaging the thread I'm sure.'_

With searching fingers she felt around for…well she wasn't really sure what she was looking for…but she was sure she'd know when she felt the discrepancies in the pattern. Sweat beaded on her forehead and trickled down her face and into her ears, but Kagome didn't feel it as she was out of her body. What she was doing now was very delicate. One mistake could send both Inuyasha and herself into a coma.

There, she'd found the place where the pattern deviated from its normal loops and knots and turned into a tighter weave of whirls and other complex designs. All she had to do now was re-write the pattern. Kagome paused to gather up her failing strength before continuing on with her work. The stress of using so much raw power in her virtually un-trained state was beginning to show in the way her soul-light flickered unsteadily.

Kagome realized that if she waited much longer, she wouldn't have the strength to finish the spell, but if she made a mistake in this phase it could very well kill her or Inuyasha, not to mention Kikyou. She also realized that she was dangerously nearing her burn-out point, and if she reached that point she'd never be able to use miko magic again, if the stress of burning out her power didn't kill her out right. So many things could go wrong at this point that Kagome almost regretted trying to do it on her own. Almost.

She pushed her thoughts away and tried to focus on the task at hand, but her thought process was much slower now. With trembling fingers she began her finally task of rearranging the threads into a pattern that resembled Kaede's earlier. Suddenly a noise from behind her made her completely drop her waning focus and with it the delicate threads she'd been manipulating.

"KAGOME!"

* * *

Inuyasha could **_feel_** something in his soul being rearranged, and the tugging and pulling was a very unpleasant feeling although it wasn't exactly a painful feeling. He exhaled in relief when he finally picked up Kagome's smell.

"I have her trail." He told his companions, who were traveling astride Kirara not too far away from him. He would have laughed at the sight of Kaede's clinging perch on the were-cat's back if their situation hadn't been so grave.

"Hurry ahead of us Inuyasha, but don't let anything you see shock you into breaking her focus. I can feel that she's barely holding on to what strength she has left." But Kaede's warning fell of deaf ears, because Inuyasha was already gone.

* * *

When Inuyasha came upon the rock that Kagome had picked at her makeshift altar the sight of her soul hovering above her body so shocked him that he called out to her. Souls weren't supposed to float free of the bodies they belonged to, his mind franticly shouted at him. Kagome's soul was supposed to be nestled deeply inside her, not out for any soul stealer to pick up. He didn't notice the pink bubble-shield that surrounded her until he crashed into it with a loud thud. Quickly he picked himself up and desperately called out her name.

"KAGOME!"

In slow motion he saw her drop the threads she'd been holding so delicately in her hands. Somewhere in the back of him mind he registered the look of shocked pain that flowed across her features in those moments before all went black and he was floating on a black sea of nothingness.

* * *

A few minutes later the others flew onto the scene. Kaede whispered a prayer to her ancestors while Miroku sent up a half-formed one to Buddha. There in the clearing lay Inuyasha, his hand outstretched toward Kagome, as if in his final moments of conciseness he'd still been trying desperately to reach her. As for Kagome, she slumped, half-on half-off, of a huge gray boulder. Kaede took in the scorch marks that ringed the top of the rock, and the slightly singed pieces of red and green cloth lying discarded in the middle of a haphazard circle of stones and she knew what Kagome had been trying to do just as clearly as if she'd been there herself.

"What has she done?"

* * *

TBC

No notes this chapter


	9. Blurry

Disclaimer: Has anyone thought about why we have to put up disclaimers? I mean do we really think that some big corporate guy/gal in Japan is going to stumble upon our stories and decide to sue us for copyright infringement? Or do we just write this because it's cool looking? Or because we have nothing better to do? Maybe a long time ago somebody thought it would make their story look more formal if they had a disclaimer and over time it's become the thing to do? Bah…I don't really care anyway…If you think I own any of the borrowed charas in this story then you're gullible enough to believe that I have a time warping well in my back yard that I'm willing to sell cheap.

_AN. My final chapter in psychology will probably influence me as I write this chapter. So if any of you recognize theories of Freud or any other famous shrinks just nod your head and agree with the author's manic thought process._

_Remember: Nod and Agree. Are we all clear? Good._

_Also, When I first starting planning out what would happen in this story I never counted on doing a second "inside the mind" chapter, but everyone liked is so much that I'm going to use it again…with a slight spin. So…I guess this is a free chapter, as it was unplanned, and although it does help move the plot along…it will have some fluff._

_Readers-YAY!_

_Just don't get too comfy wallowing in all the fluff because it's going to be back to angst-tinged business as usual next chapter._

_**:RECAP:**_

_When Inuyasha came upon the rock that Kagome had picked at her make-shift alter the sight of her soul hovering above her body so shocked him that he called out to her. Souls weren't supposed to float free of the bodies they belonged to, his mind franticly shouted at him. Kagome's soul was supposed to be nestled deeply inside her not out for any soul stealer to pick up. He didn't notice the pink bubble-shield that surrounded her until he crashed into it with a loud thud. Quickly he picked himself up and desperately called out her name._

"_KAGOME!"_

_In slow motion he saw her drop the threads she'd been holding so delicately in her hands. Somewhere in the back of him mind he registered the look of shocked pain that flowed across her features in those moments before all went black and he was floating on a black sea of nothingness._

_A few minutes later the others flew onto the scene. Kaede whispered a prayer to her ancestors while Miroku sent up a half-formed one to Buddha. There in the clearing lay Inuyasha, his hand outstretched toward Kagome, as if in his final moments of conciseness he'd still been trying desperately to reach her. As for Kagome, she slumped half-on half-off of a huge gray boulder. Kaede took in the scorch marks that ringed the top of the rock, and the slightly singed pieces of red and green cloth laying discarded in the middle of a haphazard circle of stones and she knew what Kagome had been trying to do just as clearly as if she'd been there herself._

"_What has she done?"_

_**:END RECAP:**_

_Chapter 9: Blurry_

_

* * *

my whole world surrounds you_

* * *

The sky outside gradually filled with pinks and oranges as the last vestiges of the shadows were driven back with the arrival of the newly reborn sun. Thus the circle that is life started over again with day following night just as life follows death. Kagome smiled as she watched from her bedroom window as this cycle repeated itself. Although the sun came up every morning, the magnificent sight of it never got old to her. In short, life was good.

She frowned. No, that wasn't quite right. Life should have been good, great even, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that something was wrong. But for the life of her she couldn't put her finger on it. After all, what was wrong with her life? She was in her last year of high school and she'd already been accepted into her choice university. Houjo was the greatest boyfriend that any girl could possibly want. He was handsome, thoughtful and showered her with gifts, although sometimes he was a bit boring and his conversational skills could use a little work.

'_But I love him…right?'_

Ah, and there was her problem. Everything felt fake to her this morning. Even the colors of the sunrise had seemed tainted in some strange way; as if she wasn't meant to be seeing what she was seeing. It was as if she'd waken up to someone else's reality.

Kagome shook her head to clear it.

"I don't know what's gotten into me this morning, Bunyo! Maybe I've been reading too much manga lately, neh? Okka-san keeps telling me that I'm too old for that stuff, and maybe she's right." Kagome spoke more to herself than the obese cat, which was, at this moment cuddled up to something that was lying haphazardly across her bed. Kagome frowned a bit, confused at what it could be.

Kagome gently pushed her over weight cat so she could see what he was laying on. It was a doll of sorts, made of porcelain and silk and…really human hair? She held the doll closer to get a better look, even though its hair was long and silvery-white there was something about the doll that just shouted masculinity. Maybe it was the red silk haori he was wearing, or the tiny sword stuck in his belt? On top of his head were two small animal ears. Kagome smiled when she saw them, something in her heart contracting painfully. Her eyes moved over his perfectly painted facial features, and in shock she held the doll even closer to her face. No, not painted on she realized, everything from his eyes to the small fang peeking out of his mouth was made of glass and looked so realistic that Kagome would almost swear that she saw his eyes fill with annoyance. Even the hair of his eyebrows was real and she wondered just how long it had taken the makers of this doll to put them in place.

"Is there something wrong with your Inuyasha doll, Kagome-chan? I hope not, because that thing cost a ridiculous amount of money." Her mother's voice from the doorway so surprised Kagome that she almost dropped the doll in her hands. She let out a frantic cry but managed to catch the thing before it could crash to the floor. She looked over at her mother and forced a faint smile onto her lips.

"Everything's okay here, mom. Bunyo just decided to use him for a pillow and I was making sure he was okay."

"What have I told you about leaving that doll lying around? Children…they never listen." Her mother just shook her head and turned to leave, "Don't forget to grab some breakfast before you leave for school, Kagome-chan." She yelled over her shoulder as she moved farther down the hall to make sure Kagome's little brother was up and getting ready.

Kagome didn't even bother to acknowledge her mother's last words; she was too busy staring down at the doll in her hands. Her eyes switched back and forth from the five razor sharp claws on his tiny hand to the five perfect puncture wounds that now graced her arm. She watched as the blood traveled down to her hand only to be absorbed by the red silk the doll wore.

_**Inuyasha had hurt her.**_

"Wait! What I'm I thinking? It's just a doll. A well made doll, but only porcelain and wire none the less. My imagination is affecting my judgment of reality." She spoke aloud then caught herself, "Erg…now I'm talking to myself!" With more force than necessary she shoved the stupid doll back on to her bed, only to sigh and gently prop him up against the pillow and pose his little hand over his sword hilt. Kagome stood back and grinned at her handy work before heading down stars for breakfast.

* * *

By the time Kagome arrive at school she had almost managed to push the strangeness of the morning out of her head. She even managed to smile a real smile when she spotted her group of friends waiting for her impatiently outside the school steps.

"Why are you so late? It's not like you to be late on the mornings of important exams!"

"Did you sleep in because you had one of those 'dreams' about Houjo-kun?"

"You had a dream about Houjo-kun? What happened?"

"I hope it was one of those steamy--"

"Stop, Kagome-chan wouldn't have one of those dreams, would you?"

"Hey, everyone has them; don't go all saintly on me now."

Kagome frowned as her three friends continued to argue about how virtuous she would be in her dreams. Suddenly she didn't think she had the strength to deal with them today. From experience she knew that if she quietly slipped away now they wouldn't miss her until at least lunch.

With that plan in mind she started to ease away from them when a hand on her shoulder stopped her. She spun around…

"Inu--…" The name died on her lips. Her eyes clouded with irritated confusion. Now why had she expected to see her doll standing behind her…No, not her doll, it hit her that she was expecting a life sized version of her doll to be standing there. To make matters more unsettling a tiny seed of disappointment grew up inside her when it was only Houjo who had touched her shoulder.

"Good Morning, Higurashi! You look lovelier every time I see you, even though I can hardly believe it possible." His words sounded hollow to her ears. In fact she had the urge to whip the stupid smile right off his face.

'_Wait, I love Houjo-kun. Why I'm I feeling like this?'_

"Thank you for saying so Houjo-kun." Her voice was subdued, quiet as she fought an inner battle over her sudden unease about the boy in front of her. Houjo was a bit confused by her tone of voice, and by the way she just stood there stiffly instead of coming over to give him his morning kiss.

'_Maybe she's trying to make me prove my love for her? No matter, I can do that!' _He smiled and moved over to stand beside her. This should prove he was willing to do anything for her.

Houjo leaned close to her and was prepared to give her a light kiss on the lips, but at the last second Kagome moved her head, causing the kiss to miss its mark and land on her cheek. Houjo looked at her with confusion. Kagome laughed nervously and murmured something about it being 'that time of the month'. Houjo visibly paled and backed away from her. He had five older sisters and if life had taught him nothing else, it had taught him to walk a wide circle around PMSing women. Gulping he held out the package that he'd kept hidden behind his back since arriving at school. Sacrifices of chocolate and other expensive things always seemed to sooth the beast within when it came to his sisters, and although he hadn't been planning on using this gift as such, it would have to do.

"Here, Higurashi, I brought you a present." He offered the brown wrapped parcel out to her, and sighed when she accepted his offering. Hopefully the monster would be appeased.

Kagome tore the paper away from the gift with impatient fingers, but stopped when she caught sight of what lay underneath. Houjo took her silence to mean that he could now approach her without worry of losing any of his appendages.

"I knew you were out of money and that it was killing you to not be able to buy the newest volume. I know it's not chocolate but---"He stopped when he noticed that Kagome's hands were trembling.

"Higurashi, what's wrong?" He asked.

"Inuyasha?" She sounded so lost at that moment, as if her very last and very best friend in the world had died. He watched as she ran a finger over the cover of the book she held in her hands, still half covered by brown paper. Houjo began to worry that he'd bought the wrong manga.

"Kagome-chan?" Her friends had stopped fighting long enough to notice her distress. They crowed around her like a wall, blocking her access to fresh air. Kagome felt trapped. She suddenly moved, pushed them away, and stood heaving in air. They all looked at her, shocked at her actions. It was too much. She didn't know what was real anymore. His face on the cover of that book brought on a wave of half remembered truths and made her heart hurt so badly she felt as if she would die. Kagome didn't know what reality was anymore.

"Kagome?" That Houjo had called her by her first name without an honorific spoke volumes about how concerned he was for her, but Kagome didn't seem to notice.

"I have to go." She pushed past them, determined now to go home. Home where she would surly find the answers to what was happening to her.

"Do you want to see the school nurse?" One of her friends asked while putting a restraining hand on her shoulder.

"No, I have to go home!" Kagome spoke more forcefully this time as she tried to shrug the hand from her arm.

"But today is exam day!" Another hand was placed on her arm.

"I don't care! Let me go!" She fought harder to get away from the hands holding her back.

"But you'll fail if you don't take these tests!" Clutching fingers dug into her back, helping the other hands to hold her down.

"I said let me go!" Pink light surrounded her and the grasping hands and clutching fingers disappeared. Kagome didn't wait around to see that had become of her friends, she just ran as fast as she could, desperate to reach the sanctuary of the shrine she called home.

* * *

Kagome was half way home when she realized that she still held the manga Houjo had given her firmly in her hands. She slowed her frantic pace to a near stand still as she removed the last of the brown paper from the volume. Across the top in bold letters was written "The Adventures of Inuyasha!" But it was what was beneath the title that had caused her reaction at school. With unsteady fingers, she traced the outline of the hanyou on the cover.

'_Wait, hanyou...why is that term so familiar to me? What's happening to me?'_

Tearing her eyes away from the man in red she looked at the next person pictured on the cover. This man wore purple and black robes and had strange prayer beads wrapped around his right hand.

"Monks shouldn't be lechers…" Kagome spoke to herself in a dull whisper. She didn't know how she knew these things, or how she came to be in this place, but she wasn't fighting it anymore because she just didn't have the strength or the will.

Next, she traced the picture of a girl with long black hair pulled up in a tight pony-tail and a fierce look of determination in her dark eyes.

"Sango."

Kagome's eyes caught sight of the little boy in the picture. His golden-red hair shown in the sun's light but his blue eyes were filled with sadness. His tiny kitsune paws were raised upward, as if he was waiting for some one to pick him up. Someone was missing from this picture, the someone who was supposed to pick this child up and love him forever. Kagome. She was that someone...wasn't she? Kagome felt tear sting her eyes.

"Shippou-chan…my little boy." The sudden intense pain she felt upon uttering that name almost knocked her down. This was her…son? But how…

"No! This isn't real….these memories aren't real!" She slammed her hands over her ears in hopes of keeping the false memories at bay. The pain in her heart intensified and all she could do was scream in agony until the whole world went blank.

* * *

_Where am I?_

_Where do you want to be?_

_I want to be…I can't remember where I want to be._

_I tried to help you, you know. But you refused to comply._

_What do you mean?_

_I gave you the perfect life. The life you've subconsciously always wanted, but you refused._

_Life I always wanted…?_

_Yes, I gave you a life without Inuyasha, or the quest to find the shikon no tama. I gave you everything…even good grades and a boyfriend. But you refused to be content with that life. _

_I don't understand…_

_sigh I tried to simply erase all memories you had of your hanyou…but that didn't work. So I tried to integrate your memories of you life in ancient Japan_ _in as gently as I could._

_The doll and the…manga?_

_The manga, yes._ _The doll however was your doing. I don't know how you did it, but you did._

_Why?_

_Why what? Why did I do this?_

_Yes._

_Because you wished for it to be done._

_Who are you?_

_I am you._

_What…how could that be?_

_I am you._

_How?_

_I am you._

_NO!_

_I am you._

_NO! NO! NO! I would never try to erase my memories of Inuyasha…or Shippou._

_I am you._

_You're Lyin---_

_

* * *

_

"…Lying… what? Where am I now?" Kagome looked around….as far as her eyes could see there was nothing but blinding whiteness. She sighed.

"I'm getting rather tired of this. What is it 'Let's confuse Kagome by throwing her into all sorts of changing dimensions Day' and no one told me? I'd just like to go home."

"Would you? But which home would you go to?" Suddenly a woman appeared right in front of her and the whiteness changed to a field full of sakura trees in full bloom. Kagome barely noticed the change though, because the woman in front of her held her attention. This woman could have been her twin in everyway, except for the fact that she looked older. She was dressed in the traditional robes of a miko, but the colors were all wrong. They shifted slightly so that Kagome could never quite name what color they were, but she got the impression of something old, past antiquity, when she looked at them.

"Kikyou?" The woman sighed and sat down in the soft grass. She indicated that Kagome should do the same.

"I have been Kikyou, but now I'm you. Or rather I am the you that you will be when you have reached your full maturity of mind." At Kagome's confused look, the woman tried to explain it better.

"I am your soul, Kagome. We are very old, one of the first souls ever created. So yes, at one time I was Kikyou and a part of me is still Kikyou," she pulled back her top a little so that Kagome could see the small wound in her chest. Scaring, colored a dark red surrounded the wound.

"A part of me is also your hanyou. He is filling up the empty spot that Kikyou left when she took what was ours. Soon I will not be a part of Kikyou at all." Kagome shook her head; she didn't understand what her soul was telling her. Why would Inuyasha be filling up an empty place in her soul? Kagome has the awful feeling that she was forgetting something important, but for the life of her she couldn't recall what that something was. She looked around uneasily, hoping that a way out of this strange place and away from this strange woman would become visible.

"To leave all you have to do is tell me where you want to go." The other Kagome answered as if she could read her counterpart's mind.

"But I don't know where I want to go." Kagome answered in frustration. If only she could remember!

"Then we will talk some more. As I was saying, I am you, but not right now. You have much more growing and learning to do before we will become one." The woman caught one of the pink blossoms as it floated by and held it gently in her hand.

"I always have liked sakura blossoms."

"I still don't understand." Kagome watched closely as her soul blew the flower out of her palm and back into the open air.

"I know."

"Well, are you going to explain it to me?"

"It's like inheriting an old ceremonial robe the day you are born. At first the robe will not fit you at all, but as you grow it begins to fit you better and better each time you try in on. Finally, after many years the robe fits you perfectly and then you can never take it off." The woman stood up and walked over to where Kagome sat. She reached out and touched her cheek softly and smiled.

"So you see, in a few more years I will fit you perfectly and then we will become one." Kagome nodded her understanding. Then another question began to plague her mind.

"Why did I dream that Inuyasha was just a story? " The sky immediately turned dark with rolling, angry clouds and the sakura blossoms disappeared completely from the trees, leaving them looking skeletal and bare.

"Because you have always wondered just what your life would be like without him. I showed you that, tried to give you that life, but you fought me." Kagome felt fear for the first time since she had been trap in this strange place. All she wanted right now was to leave this place. She wanted to be with Inuyasha and Shippou in Kaede's hut. She wanted to see Sango hit Miroku for making a crude remark. She wanted to see Kirara curled up in front of the fire. She wanted to go home.

As suddenly as the storm came up it was gone. The sky was blue again and the pink blossoms appeared back on the trees.

"All you had to do was say what you wanted." The woman who looked so like her whispered before she ever so gently taped Kagome in the forehead, "Remember that this is what you wanted."

And once again, everything went dark.

* * *

Kaede came out of her trance and slumped forward in exhaustion. She couldn't remember a time, not even in the early days of her miko training, when she had felt this drained from casting a spell. Miroku, who was just coming out of his trance looked little better. In fact some would argue that he looked worse. His Buddhist magic was different from her Shinto holy powers, so it took much more out of him to perform the necessary spells to fix what Kagome had tangled.

Sango was near by, and at the sound of their movements she rushed over with water for them to drink and a little soup for them to eat. As she was handing out the nourishment she glanced over that the still bodies of Inuyasha and Kagome. They looked so pale, lying upon that rock, as if they were awaiting their last rites. Sango couldn't bear to look that them anymore so she sat her sight on the elder miko and the priest. They didn't look much better than the other two.

"Do you think we fixed it?" Miroku questioned Kaede in a strange mixture of hope and doubt.

"We have done all we can, and then some on borrowed grace. The rest is up to Inuyasha and Kagome-chan." Her words, meant to lend comfort to the small group, felt hollow even to her own ears.

* * *

Kagome landed in a dimly lit room with a soft thud. She sighed.

'_Before, I was only slightly irritated at being repeatedly dropped into places that exist only in my head, but now I'm getting pissed off.' _

She peered around, and noticed that this room looked just like her bedroom at home. Hesitantly, she stood up and moved toward her window. She pulled back the shade, but the only thing outside was darkness. Not the normal darkness that comes with night, but an almost tangible darkness, sharp and alive with maliciousness. Nothing existed outside of her room except that soul-eating darkness.

Kagome shuddered at that thought and turned away from her window. Something red on her bed caught her eye and she walked over to investigate. There, lying propped up on her pillow just like she had left him, was the Inuyasha doll. Her heart filled with sadness at the sight and she lay down on her bed beside him. Cuddling him close she felt tears form in her eyes.

"Will I ever see you again, Inuyasha?" She whispered to the doll. His eyes gleamed in the dim light of the room as if he knew something but couldn't tell her. Without thinking, Kagome leaned forward and pressed her lips to the doll's small porcelain mouth, and her tears splashed onto his face.

Then it happened.

The doll started to grow, and as he grew, Kagome remembered. She remembered about being blind, about trying to undo the spell that bound her to Inuyasha, and she remembered about Kikyou.

By this time Inuyasha was back to being full sized and the first thing he did was gather Kagome up into his arms. He held her tightly as she wept against his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry. I couldn't undo the spell and save Kikyou. I tried, but I just wasn't strong enough." Inuyasha shifted so that he could hold her even closer. Gently he shushed her weeping and wiped away her tears.

"Shh. Stupid girl, I never wanted to be unbound from you. I was coming to tell you that when Shippou came running up screaming about how you were gone. Now stop crying before you turn both of us into a soggy mess." His tone of voice took the harsh sting out of his words as he helped her sit up. Kagome took a minute to wipe her eyes again and to gather up her wits. They both sat side by side on the bed in silence for what seemed like eternity before Kagome spoke.

"So…um where are we exactly?" Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders.

"As far as I can tell we're kinda stuck inside ourselves…"

"Then how come, if I'm stuck inside me, you're here?" Kagome asked as she poked him in the side. Inuyasha growled at her and scooted farther away from her on the bed.

"Feh, I don't know, it's your fucking head, you tell me why I'm here!" Kagome was silent for a moment.

"How do we know it's mine?"

"What?" Inuyasha looked at her strangely

"How do you know we're in my head and not yours?" She rephrased the question, all the while moving closer to Inuyasha. He looked at her warily before deciding that she wasn't that big of a threat to his person.

"Because only your head could be this messed up?"

Kagome frowned. Inuyasha tried again.

"Because I wouldn't have imagined myself as a child's toy?" He suggested hopefully.

Kagome's foot began to tap impatiently on the floor.

"Because this is your room, in your house, and in your time? And that all points to it being your head?"

"Well, you've got it half-way right. This place is in the junction where both of your souls are bound together. Kagome wished to be with you, to be "home" but since neither of you can be allowed to wake up until you finish fixing the damage to your souls; this is where you both ended up." Both Inuyasha and Kagome weren't too shocked to see a second Inuyasha standing in the doorway of the room.

"Some how, I knew you'd be showing up." Inuyasha growled toward the figure at the door.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome poked him in the side again, "If he can help us get out of here then I think we should be grateful." Inuyasha huffed while Kagome turned toward his counterpart.

"What did you mean by saying we have to fix the damage to our souls before we can wake up?"

"If you wake up now your souls will be ripped to pieces because of the tear in the binding spell that you created. Kaede-baba and that perverted monk have done all they can to fix the problem, now it's up to you." He looked over at the pouting Inuyasha and sighed.

"I can't believe I'm such an arrogant bastard." He mumbled under his breath. Inuyasha's head shot up and he glared at his soul.

"Hey! I heard that!"

"I know." He smirked, and Inuyasha wanted to go over there and beat the tar out of him, but Kagome put a restraining hand on his arm.

"How do we fix this?"

"All I can tell you is that there are things that you both need to accept about your situation before you can move on. Now I have to go. "Just as suddenly as he had come, the other Inuyasha was gone. Kagome tried to reach out and stop him, but it was no use.

"I really hate it when they do that." She grumbled to herself.

"Well, bitch. I guess I'm not going to have to tie you to a tree to get you to really talk to me after all. So tell me now why you thought I'd hate you." He demanded with a determined look in his eye. Kagome turned away from him, or at least she would have if he hadn't caught her chin in his hand. Her eyes still refused to meet his until he lightly smacked her on the nose. Kagome drew back, shocked, and from the looks of it Inuyasha was just as shocked as she was.

"What'd you do that for?" she demanded, rubbing her slightly red nose.

"I don't really know. I just wanted you to look at me and you wouldn't so I…well…I hit you on the nose…"

"Like I was some kind of puppy?" Kagome asked in irritation. Inuyasha felt his hackles rise at her tone.

"Well, the only reason I'd have to treat my mate like a pup would be if she was acting like one by not meeting my eyes or not telling me everything I need to know!" His voice was raised to near shouting levels now. Kagome wasn't going to be intimidated though. She could feel anger at him rise up within her. Inuyasha always treated her like a child, well, that would all end here.

"Maybe, just maybe, if you didn't treat your mate like a child all the time she wouldn't act like it! Have you thought of that, huh?"

"I don't treat you like a child!" He was off the bed, standing over her now, hoping that his height advantage would cause her to back down, but of course it didn't.

"Yes. You. Do. You always call me stupid or little girl…and you act as if I can't walk across the floor without your help!" She stood up too. Now they were toe to toe yelling at each other.

"No kidding Kagome! Unless you forgot, you've been fucking BLIND! Someone has to make sure you don't trip and break your pretty little neck!" He really wanted to stop yelling at her, but she was just so irritating when she got like this.

"You're doing it again!" Inuyasha might have wanted to stop fighting, but Kagome was finally getting stuff off her chest and wasn't about to stop anytime soon.

"Damn it! What I'm I fucking doing now?"

"You're treating me like I'm made of glass! I won't break if your not there to catch me!"

All the fight seemed to drain out of him with her words. Inuyasha sat down heavily on the bed and drop his head into his hands. Kagome realized what she had said and her hand flew up to her mouth.

"Inu—"

"No, it's my turn now. Sit down, Kagome." Surprisingly this time she obeyed, "I'm sorry if you feel like I'm being overprotective sometimes, but damn Kagome, you have to admit that every time I turn around you're getting into some kind of trouble. Sometimes I feel like every time I leave you alone you end up kidnapped, possessed, or almost eaten. It's my job to protect you…" His last few words were muffled by his palms. Kagome, feeling rather meek now, asked him to repeat himself. He was silent for a long moment before speaking again.

"I said I didn't want to lose you." Kagome didn't know what to say. Inuyasha, she knew, had a hard time verbalizing his feelings, so for him to say that he didn't want to lose her was the closest thing to a declaration of love she was likely to get.

"I'm sorry." It was trite she knew, but it was the only thing she knew to say. Inuyasha didn't respond. For another long moment they sat in absolute silence until something from the previous conversation hit Kagome square in the face.

"Y..y…you called me…" She couldn't go on. Inuyasha looked at her strangely. He had never before seen Kagome's mouth hang open quite like that.

"I called you what…a bitch? I do that all the time." Inuyasha was confused. Sure Kagome had made a big deal about him calling her that when they had first met, but Inuyasha was under the impression that she finally understood that it wasn't an insult.

"No…not that. You called me your…m…ma…" Kagome couldn't bring herself to say it. That would make it real. Too real. Inuyasha thought back over the argument and Kagome knew the very moment that he grasped what she was talking about because his eyes got big.

"Feh." Life had taught Inuyasha that when you were out of words simple one syllable sounds of disgust worked fine.

"I guess that is what this spell is turning us into, neh? I'm really sorry Inuyasha. If I'd only been stronger, you wouldn't be in this mess." Kagome looked down at her hands. She was beginning to realize just what this binding spell would cost Inuyasha. He would be stuck with her forever. There would be no going to hell with Kikyou.

She felt one of his long calloused fingers slid under her chin and this time she complied with his unspoken request to look him in the eye.

"I never want to hear you apologize for this again, you hear me? It's as much my fault as yours and I refuse to be sorry for it. Either we'll find a way out of this mess or we'll make the best of it. But I don't want you blaming yourself." His voice was low and serious, and Kagome couldn't help but nod in agreement with him. But that didn't stop her from asking one more question.

"But what about Kikyou?" She busied herself with shifting around on the bed so that she wouldn't have to look at him when he gave his answer. Inuyasha knew what she was doing but decided to do nothing about it.

"I don't know Kagome, but I do know that we've all been in tighter spots than this. We'll find a way." Kagome wondered if he realized that he sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than her.

"She said that you would do anything to save her, even if it meant severing your soul from mine. She said that you belonged to her just like she belonged to you…and I guess…I guess somewhere along the way I decided that not telling you about what the spell was doing to her was for the best. I was sure that if you knew that I was the cause of not only her death but your inability to travel to hell with her that you'd hate me. I figured she'd just fade…away, you know? But then I felt really guilty because I knew her death would cause you pain…"Kagome let her voice trail off. Inuyasha thought about her words for a moment before answering.

"I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to go with her into hell, Kagome. I do feel…something…for her, but if it came down to choosing which one of you to live or to die, in the end I'd pick you…" He stood up and offered her his hand. Kagome didn't hesitate in taking it, even though his claws could have easily ripped her frail human hand to pieces.

"Do you really mean that? You promise that you're never going to leave me? Even if you could? Even for…her?" she peered up into his eyes, hoping that those pools of burnt gold would reveal the truthfulness of his words.

"I promise to stay with you forever. Even if I have the chance to leave you." He leaned in and lightly kissed her lips, "Now are you finally ready to wake up, koi?" Kagome blinked at him calling her dear but decided not to say anything. She felt his strong arms wrap around her and she laid her head against his shoulder.

"When we go back I probably won't be able to see will I?"

"Probably not."

"Oh. Well I guess I'm ready to go then." She felt him tighten his grip around her for a moment before she was overwhelmed by the sense that she was falling down a long tunnel.

* * *

TBC

AN: there was a lot of symbolism in this chapter…so for those of you that have trouble seeing the picture within the picture I have a "Handy-Dandy Guide to Kagome's Dream World" for you! Lets all have a round of applause for the dutiful author.

**Kagome's/ Inuyasha's Souls**: _Because I couldn't come up with a better term for it I called them souls. In reality, the terms Superego or alter ego would be more precise. The only way I can think to explain in (other than the robe analogy) is part the recycled soul's theory and part genetic character trait theory. When you're born you "inherit" a soul that has already been used countless times. This is the person you are, with a few modifications for life experience. But as a baby you can't be a fully grown person, so you evolve to fit your soul. I hope I've explained this so that everyone can understand._

**The Reason Kagome woke up in "Perfect World**": _Because, just like her soul/alter ego said Kagome has always wondered, deep down, what would have happened if she hadn't have fell down the well on her 15th birthday. Also in relation to this, the reason Kagome's alter ego gets angry when questioned in the sakura blossom scene is because Kagome herself still had to come to terms with some things before she could totally put aside her anger over missing out on the 'perfect life'_

**The Inuyasha Doll**: _Inuyasha's and Kagome's relationship is complex. It's the "More than friends less than lovers" kinda thing. By turning Inuyasha into a doll she was simplifying her relationship with him to a more basic child-like affection. Much like a little girl would have for a baby doll._

**The Inuyasha Manga: **_Kagome sometimes feels like her life is out of a story book (and with good reason) so her subconscious mind turned those larger-than-life elements of her life into a story._

**Kagome's monster friends and the fight to keep her in school**_: This is a continuation of the first dream sequence chapter. (See chapter 2) In Inuyasha's dream, Kagome shows him just why school means so much to her. In this chapter, even though there are exams that day, Kagome still left to go home to find out what was up with these feelings she was having for her doll. Inuyasha became more important than school. Her friends represented her anxiety over school._

**The Sakura Field:** _Each blossom represented in part, all the lives that the Soul of Kagome (SoK) had lived, and all the dreams that each person had dreamed. When SoK says that she's always has liked sakura blossoms it was her way of saying that in every life she's had lots of dreams. A sakura blossom also represents how fleeting life can be. So what this scene is trying to show is that life and dreams come and go quickly. Kagome isn't sure what her desires are while in this world, just like she is uncertain in her heart just what world she belongs in. By the time she leaves this scene, though, she's figured out what her dreams for the future are._

**The Storm at the End of the Sakura Scene:** _See **The** **Reason Kagome woke up in "Perfect World**"_

**The Doll Grows**: _This symbolizes Kagome's realization that her love for Inuyasha isn't a child's love. She realized that she could no longer keep her feelings for him simple, but **that they would be complex no matter what she did. **_

**Umm…Just whose head are we in:** _I didn't have Kagome and Inuyasha have perfect knowledge of where they were at…and all they could come up with was the "We're in someone's head" theory. SoI (Soul of Inuyasha) Didn't really argue with that concept, only telling them that they were in a junction of their souls. For those of you that would like to know exactly where the hell they were I'll tell you. Think of it as a variation of the dimensions theory. Or better yet, think of it on terms of the Astral Plane. Kagome and Inuyasha were in a plane of existence that only exists inside of them. Kind of like having an IN TO body experience instead of an OUT OF body one._

**Other things to note:** _Inuyasha never promises in the end that he won't leave Kagome for Kikyou… He didn't do this on purpose though, he's still a little uncertain about the whole thing and like he said, he still feels something for her, and he won't be able to completely promise himself to Kagome until he deals with his unresolved feeling for Kikyou._

**Previous chapters that I forgot to point out:** _In chapter 8 Kagome thinks about there being something significant about a red cord, but she can't remember. A red cord is said to link people destined to be together. It's just one of those small signs that reaffirms that the paring of this fic is definitely Inu/Kag._


	10. When I Look To The Sky

_Disclaimer: Has anyone thought about why we have to put up disclaimers? I mean do we really think that some big corporate guy/gal in Japan_ _is going to stumble upon our stories and decide to sue us for copy-right infringement? Or do we just writing this because it's cool looking? Or because we have nothing better to do? Maybe a long time ago somebody thought it would make there story look more formal if they had a disclaimer and over time it's became the thing to do? Bah…I don't really care anyway…If you think I own any of the barrowed chara.s in this story then you're just gullible enough to believe that I have a time warping well in my back yard that I'm willing to sell cheap_

_Anyway, Happy (Late) Holidays!_

_No, I'm not finished yet…I think this story is going to start getting more and more…fluffy…as the chapters go on. I estimate that I've written a little over half of this story…so it's time to start getting our couple together…_

_Another thing I wanted to say…I told you all about the Inuyasha DVD's that I received for x-mas? Well I've been watching them latly and I can't help but notice these little things that happen between Inuyasha and Kagome that no one else seem to notice. Like in this one ep. He's lying down with his head propped up on her hip…or when he wraps his arms around her when he has to carry her to safty…They are so meant for each other…There are even lots of times were Inuyasha COULD have gone to Kikyou, but instead he stayed to take care of Kagome…_

_On the surface the series isn't that fluffy (Unless you're a Sessho fan girl…then it is very Fluffy (sama) indeed) you just have to look for it!_

_Now I'll let you get back to the story!_

_Holiday_ _Smoochies!_

:RECAP:

"_Do you really mean that? You promise that you're never going to leave me even if you could? Even for…her?" she peered up into his eyes, hoping that those pools of burnt gold would reveal the truthfulness of his words._

"_I promise to stay with you forever. Even if I have the chance to leave you." He leaned in and lightly kissed her lips, "Now are you finally ready to wake up, koi?" Kagome blinked at him calling her dear but decided not to say anything. She felt his strong arms wrap around her and she laid her head against his shoulder._

"_When we go back I probably won't be able to see will I?"_

"_Probably not."_

"_Oh. Well I guess I'm ready to go then." She felt him tighten his grip around her for a moment before she was overwhelmed by the sense that she was falling down a long tunnel._

:END RECAP:

Chapter 10: **_When I Look To The Sky_**

* * *

****

_I feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go_

_

* * *

_

The world contracted to the size of a pin prick. Everything, all the mysteries of the universe, the answers to every 'Why am I here?' question, and the accumulated knowledge of the ancient wise, was concentrated into one tiny bit of truth. Then suddenly the world exploded into billions of fragmented thoughts and vague emotions. The answers to all life's questions were again out of the reach of humanity….

They woke up at roughly the same time, sitting straight up on the rock alter they'd been laid out on. Gulping in great breaths of air as if they'd been drowning, the couple reached for each other simultaneously. Out of worry or some other emotions, the reason was never explored, they each became the only thing anchoring the other to this plane of existence.

"Don't you fucking ever do anything that fucking stupid again, do you hear me bitch?" His voice was rough but underneath his gruffness she could hear his relief. His arms around her waist were so tight that Kagome was afraid for a moment that Inuyasha might break her in half. Then the pressure eased away. She forced her hands to loosen their tangled grip on his long silver hair as well, but she couldn't bring herself to let go of him completely. At that moment Inuyasha was the only real thing left in her world.

Kagome felt his hands roaming up and down her arms, then to her legs. As if by touch, Inuyasha could convince himself that she was whole and safe and that the dark randomness of the dream world was truly gone. Kagome felt a blush stain her cheeks and she drew back from him a little more. On instinct, her lids fluttered open for the first time since she'd awakened so that she could look into his eyes and reassure him that everything would be fine.

Sharp pain stabbed at her eyes and Kagome jerked back so suddenly that she fell out of his lap. Whirling, blurry, achingly bright, spheres of color danced madly before her eyes. She tried to clench her eyes shut, but the pain of sensory overload made such simple tasks impossible. She wondered absently if this is how a newborn felt when he was forcibly expelled from his warm home in the womb and out into cold, bright reality.

From a long way off, Kagome could hear Inuyasha's voice calling her. She fought hard to get to his voice, to get to him, because she knew that Inuyasha could make the pain go away. Finally gaining the power to shut her eyes, Kagome blinked rapidly as her vision began to clear. Slowly, like the fragmented colors of a kaleidoscope coming together to make a solid image, Inuyasha's face formed before her.

And just like that she could see.

She could see his perfect hair, rumpled and blowing in wispy strands from the wind. She could see into his golden eyes, so full of hidden emotions, and dark with worry for her. Kagome drank in the sight of Inuyasha's face, not desperate like one suffering from thirst in the desert, but more like one given a rich chocolate dessert and savoring every moment so that it could be recalled later and relived over and over again.

Inuyasha was still talking to her, franticly asking what hurt and where, while occasionally yelling for Kaede to come 'fix' her. Kagome couldn't help but smile at his worry, as the pain in her head and eyes receded back from her in waves. She lifted her hand to press it against his mouth. Inuyasha looked quite shocked, but otherwise fell silent as he noticed for the first time that her eyes had lost the milky grey blue-grey color they'd been for weeks and now sparkled with new life.

"Inuyasha, I can see." Her words were so simple, too simple for him to understand at first. Inuyasha's face, his eyes gone wide in shock when he finally realized what her words meant and his mouth hanging slightly open under her fingers, was the last thing Kagome noticed before she slipped back off to sleep.

* * *

"Inuyasha, is Kagome-chan alright? I thought I heard you yelling." Inuyasha looked up to see the elder village miko hurrying toward them from out of the forest. For the first time Inuyasha noticed that he and Kagome were positioned atop the boulder that the later had been using as an alter. Around them on the ground Inuyasha noticed that someone had placed barrier spells and other wards, making him begin to wonder just how long they'd been out.

"We both woke up at the same time, but when Kagome opened her eyes she was in a lot of pain…I think it was her head, or maybe her eyes. Then while I was trying to find out what was wrong with her she tells me she can see and then passes out again! Damn it all! I wish that someone would for once tell me what's going on the first time I ask!" He glared done at the young woman in his arms, though his gaze softened when she curled her body into his and one of her hands reached up to rest on his chest.

"She regained her sight? Thank the Kami-samas for that. I wasn't sure if it would work." Kaede hauled herself ungracefully onto a near by rock, mumbleing under her breath about disappearing youth, failing agility, and old bones.

"What do ya' mean you weren't sure if it would work? What happened while we were trapped in that messed up head of hers or wherever the fuck we were?" Inuyasha tucked his haori sleeves tightly around Kagome to ward off the slight chill in the air.

Kaede sighed, "When we found you four days ago, both you and Kagome-chan were unconscious as a result of her trying to unbind your souls by herself. Although I'm not quite sure how she knew that she could do such a thing." Kaede paused to ponder this, but Inuyasha's warning growl reminded her that if she didn't continue her explanation on a timely basis she'd have one unhappy hanyou on her hands.

"You both were in an enchanted sleep just like the first time the binding spell was preformed. Miroku-sama and I worked long into that night to fix the damage Kagome-chan did when she dropped both your soul cords. However, because your soul is such a grabby thing --"

"My soul is not grabby, why does everyone always say that?" Inuyasha didn't like being blamed for something that was clearly not his fault.

"--every time I separated one part of Kagome from you, you found a way to latch on more securely to another part. I did finally manage to fix the link so that she got her sight back, but at what cost? We have no way of knowing just how much the spell has changed, or exactly how it will affect either of you." Kaede folded her hands into her lap as she waited for his next question. She knew she wouldn't have to wait long because Inuyasha always had questions, and he never had the patients to wait for his answers.

"Keh. It's because her soul is so needy. Mine had nothing do with any of it." He grumbled under his breath, then asked with more concern "….but she really has gotten her sight back for good?"

"I don't know that for sure, Inuyasha. Only time will tell exactly what changes have taken place because of this…But I do know that it's going to take time for her to physically recover from this. She almost reached the point where her miko powers burned away forever. It was a dangerous thing that child did. And as far as I can tell it was all for you." Kaede turned her wise eyes on him and Inuyasha felt for a moment that they were going to burn a hole right through him.

"Keh, it's not like I asked her to do it." He whispered faintly as he looked down at Kagome, who seemed to be sleeping peacefully in his arms. Kaede chose to act like she hadn't heard his quiet words and changed the subject.

"Do you remember anything from the dream world?" She was curious as to what exactly he remembered of this second enchanted sleep.

"Nothing much…just lots of blurry images…and things…I do remember making her a promise though…" Inuyasha said and without much thought began to run his fingers through Kagome's silken hair. He had almost lost her this time, and that scared him. What would he do without her? No, that wasn't something he wanted to think about.

"Is it a promise you are prepared to keep?"

"I hope so." There was a long moment of silence before Inuyasha looked around once again. The sun was about to reach its midway point in the sky, but the day was overcast and cloudy. Hardly a trickle of sunlight escaped to warm the air in the clearing.

"Keh, baba, why are we out here?" It was his turn to change to topic of conversation as she came to stand beside the rock he was currently occupying.

"This is the spot Kagome-chan picked to undo the binding spell. I'm not sure how she found it, but the flow of spiritual energy in this spot in awesome. That's probably the only thing that kept you both alive. After we could do no more for you, Miroku-sama erected a holy barrier to keep youkai and humans alike from disturbing your sleep. You've been inside yourselves for three days, although I'm sure it didn't seem like that long for you."

"Keh, well now that I'm awake I'm going to take Kagome to your hut so she's out of this cold. She doesn't need to get sick on top of everything else right now." He hopped off the rock in one fluid motion, but instead of bounding away like she thought he would, Inuyasha set a much slower pace for himself that Kaede could keep up with.

"Thank you." It was spoken so softly that Kaede almost missed it, and even when she heard it she acted like she didn't. Instead she only nodded her head in his direction.

"There's no need for you to wait on this old woman, child. I will make it back to the village on my own."

"As if I'd waste my time waiting on you, baba!" With that Inuyasha took off, bounding in the direction of the village.

"You're welcome Inuyasha, very welcome indeed."

* * *

The first thing Kagome became aware of as she struggled out of the warm darkness of sleep was the chirping of a single bird outside the hut. She groaned, wishing that someone would throw a rock at the thing and end her misery. She made to roll over in her sleeping bag and find a more comfortable spot, but the pain in her body made her think twice about moving.

'_Oh, did anyone get the number of the bus that hit me. Wait, they don't have buses in feudal Japan_…_Maybe I should wonder if anyone counted the number of spots on the ox cart that ran me down. Okay…it's way too early to be thinking of crap like this.'_

She heard a shuffling sound coming from the doorway of the sleeping chamber, so she rolled, carefully this time, toward the door to greet whoever it was. She found Shippou standing there, precautiously balancing a bowl of soul on a wooden tray. His little tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated hard at not spilling a single drop of the soup. Kagome thought he was simple adorable and she thanked what ever god up there that had allowed her back her sight.

"I brought you some soup Kagome-chan." He sat the tray in her lap with exaggerated carefulness. Kagome smiled at him and patted a spot next to her for him to sit down. She took a sip of the soup before looking down at him. She was distressed to find his head down. Some part of her recognized that he'd learned this posture from Inuyasha when the hanyou was pouting, but she shoved those thoughts aside. Shippou was upset with her, and for good reason. She'd gone and done something stupid again, even though she'd told him she'd be careful for his sake.

"I'm sorry baby." She put the soup aside and pulled him into her lap. When he didn't immediately snuggle close to her, Kagome began to suspect that the problem went deeper than just the resent events.

'_Well, why wouldn't it go deeper? I mean, this child had both parents killed by demons when he was so young and then, if that's not enough trauma, his next family drags him all over Japan_ _while they fight evil youkai and corrupted humans. He sees more dead bodies in real life than most kids see on TV everyday in my time. He'll probably need a lot of therapy as an adult…and to think I was worried about scarring him just the other day…Kami-sama, I'm such a bad mother.'_

"I'm just tired of worrying that someone's going to go away and not come back." Shippou's quiet words broke into Kagome's thoughts. She looked back down at the kit in her arms and sighed.

"I know baby, I feel the same way sometimes. And I'm sorry I keep scaring you like this. I know it must be hard." And Kagome realized with a start that she did know. Maybe not exactly what he was feeling, but close enough. She felt that exact way every time Inuyasha rushed into battle with only Tetsusaiga and his own stupidity.

"I just don't want to be alone again! I know fighting the bad guys is dangerous 'cause I'm not as little as everyone seems to think. But I just wish…I wish…" he didn't finish, but he really didn't have to. Kagome pulled him closer to her and was relived when she felt his small arms hug around her waist.

"I'll make you a deal, okay? I'm not going to promise to never scare you again because it looks like I'm not going to be able to keep that one. But I do promise that if there is even a little bit of breath left in my body, I'll move heaven and earth to come back to you." She tapped him on the nose and he smiled his adorable grin up at her.

"And I swear that I'll always come back to you oka...Kagome-chan, no matter how big I get so that you won't be lonely when you get old!" His face was solemn, though Kagome could detect the slight mischievous twinkle in his eyes. She leaned down, as if to whisper a secret in his pointy ear. Shippou's eyes got big.

"You mean it! You really want me to call you okaa-chan from now on?" Kagome nodded her head and giggled when Shippou did a little happy dance at the end of her sleeping bag.

"I've got to go tell Inuyasha! Now he has to be nice to me because if he's not you won't love him anymore!"

"Shippou! What have I told you about goading Inuyasha, hmm?" Kagome's tone stopped the kitsune just as he made it to the door. He slowly turned around and looked up at her with his most innocent look.

"But I'm not--" If anything her look got sterner.

"I was just--" Kagome's foot patted out a muffled, impatient rhythm in her sleeping bag.

"Okay, I promise not to tease him. But can I go get something to read to you? I don't want you to get bored and I know Kaede-baachan isn't going to let you leave for awhile. She said something about you're miko powers being almost…almost…something…but it's supposed to make you really really tired until you can build back up your spiritual…ummm…stuff. That's why I brought you the soup because one of the village kids said that soup made him feel better when his okka-san made it. I had to trade my top for a turnip, the turnip for a fish, then the fish for a bowl of rice, and finally I took the bowl of rice and traded for the soup. I would have gotten Sango-chan to make it for me, but I didn't know if she could make the kind that makes people feel better so I thought it wad better if I just got some from that kid's okaa-san." Kagome was touched that Shippou had gone through all that trouble for her. She was determined to eat every last drop of the stuff no matter how cold it was now.

"Thank you so much Shippou-chan! I'm sure this soup will be the best I've ever tasted and that it'll make me feel one hundred times better in minutes!" She smiled as he blushed from her high praise.

"I'm going to go get your books now!" He scurried out of the room on all fours and Kagome picked the stone bowl of cold soup back up and started to eat again.

* * *

"The M..Me..ji Meji re..revo..revolution brought about many ch..changes for the Japanese pe..pe..people." Shippou struggled through the text to Kagome's Japanese history book and she couldn't help but frown as he stumbled over the words. She racked her brain trying to remember if he'd ever read anything to her besides the titles of the junk food she brought back for him. He paused again in his reading and she decided to broach the subject.

"Shippou, is my book a little hard for you to read?" She knew she had to approach this subject very carefully because she didn't want to wound his pride, but she needed to know if he was having trouble.

"It's so hard! My first okaa-chan taught me a little bit, but most of these characters look so much different!" He pushed the book aside in frustration and folded his arms across his chest in the perfect mimic of Inuyasha.

'_If I don't watch it, he's going to want to start wearing red. Inuyasha, you're such a bad influence on my child. And of course the characters aren't the same anymore. There's a 500 year gap between Shippou and the time this book was written in. I should have thought of that. I wonder if I could teach him how to read. I know he's old enough to go to school in my time, and he's so smart that it won't be hard. Hmm…I'll just have to think about this.'_

"I'm sorry Shippou; I guess the way we write things has changed over time. I tell you what, why don't you tell me a story instead of reading from that book, okay?" Kagome suggested as a means to take his mind away from the book he was glaring at. Shippou's face immediately brightened and he reached into the pocket of his vest and pulled out what looked like a carefully folded stack of papers. He gently unfolded them then held the papers up in triumph.

"I've been waiting for someone to ask me to tell them a story! I worked really hard the whole time you and Inuyasha were asleep to come up with it. I even used the last of my crayons to color it!" He scooted over to her, excited to finally have someone to show his art to. He adopted a pose like the one the village story teller took when he was in the middle of a great epic battle scene, and began to tell Kagome his story:

Once upon a time, there was a Cat Princess who was very beautiful. She was kidnapped by and evil woman and taken to a dark castle in the clouds. The evil lady had her hordes of youkai guard the princess day and night for…lots of lots of nights...and did I mention that she was very very very very evil? Now this Kitty had two friends, a dog and a fox, who vowed to get her back. So they sat off on their long, long, long journey. But on the way the dog got hurt, 'cause he was careless and rude. But the fox made it to the evil woman's castle and fought the demons. He fought them for a long time, but he finally won and rescued the cat princess. And the cat princess loved the Fox and patted his head and gave him lots of candy. The End.

Through out his whole story, Kagome had to hold back her laughter. Shippou really had a talent for turning the people in his life into crayon drawings, and the one with a doggy Inuyasha scratching his ear with his hind leg was priceless. But it occurred to her that maybe Shippou needed something to take care of like Inuyasha took care of her. Maybe Shippou wouldn't feel so scared if he wasn't the youngest or the weakest anymore. Maybe Shippou needed a pet.

'_Every child wants a pet when he's Shippou's age, right? I mean, I remember begging my okaa-chan for a pet dragon, and then I decided to go with something a little more realistic, like a talking dog. Okaa-chan told me that was just as impossible as a dragon and that I'd have to settle for a cat. But I guess I got my wish anyway with Inuyasha, even though technically he's not really a dog at all…and sometimes it seems like the only words he knows are cursed and single syllable sounds that aren't really words at all.'_

"Oi, brat! Why do you always make me the wimp in your stories!" And speak…erg…think of the devil, Inuyasha was leaning against the doorway, glaring down at the kit sitting beside her. Although his look was fierce, Kagome recognized the playful twitch of his ears for what it was. He lightly bopped the kit on his head as he walked by and plopped down on the other side Kagome.

"That's because you are a wimp! And I can prove it now because Kagome loves me best! She says I can call her okaa-chan now!" Shippou stuck his tongue out at Inuyasha after he said this then tried to hide behind Kagome when Inuyasha reached for his tail. Kagome just moved, giving Inuyasha greater access to the kit.

"Okaa-chan! Save me!" Shippou cried as the older male grabbed his tail in one swift motion.

"I'm really sorry Shippou, but I told you that the next time you tried to make Inuyasha mad I'd let him have you. You've got to learn sometime." She patted him on his small head and sent Inuyasha a speaking glance. When she was sure he wouldn't hurt the kitsune, Kagome tried lurch to her feet, thinking that with her boys being distracted she could get out of the room. However, two pairs of hands, one small and one large, pulled her back onto the futon.

Kagome looked up at Inuyasha and Shippou, only to find them glaring down at her with identical expressions of chastisement.

"Where do you think you're going? You need to rest!" The combined powers of their glares weren't enough to stop her though, because she was suddenly hit with the need to get out of this small room and to answer natures persistent call. Again she tried to struggle to her feet. This time Inuyasha let her get almost all the way up before he pulled her back down. He figured that if he let her work a little she'd be too tired to be stubborn about getting up. Of course he was wrong. His actions only helped to frustrate her more, and damnit she had to go to the little girls bush.

"Inuyasha, I need to go outside. Either you help me up and to the door, or I'll 's' word you and do it myself!" She declared. Shippou, sensing that he was finally going to get some quality entertainment after so many days of boredom, found a spot were he could easily watch the mayhem without getting caught in the cross-fire.

"Oi, bitch! You need to rest, and I don't know why you refuse to! Your frail human body is clearly in pain…can't you see you need to stay in bed, or are you too stup--"

"I suggest, Inuyasha, that you don't finish that sentence! I won't be the only one in pain if you do!"

"—pid to know when you're exhausted?" He finished the sentence anyway. Daring her to make good on her threat.

"That's it! I can't take you and your high handedness anymore! **_SIT! SITSITSITSITSISTSITSITSIT!" _**As Inuyasha's face became reacquainted with the wood floor of the hut, Kagome realized two things: One was that the subdue spell was still not working right, and two, no matter how softly Inuyasha thumped into the floor it still hurt her. Somehow, in all the drama of the last few days, she'd forgotten that she felt his pain. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, but when the pain of being repeatedly shoved into the floor was added to the pain she had already been feeling, Kagome couldn't help but double over with a soft groan.

'_Dear Kami-sama, I should have remembered that his pain is my pain.'_

"Damn straight you should have! Why didn't you just listen to me?" Kagome looked at him strangely for a moment. She was sure that she hadn't said anything aloud, but dismissed it when her forgotten need came back to call.

"I didn't listen to you because I have to go to the little girls bush!" She yelled at him, her struggles to gain her footing renewed.

"Huh?" Inuyasha's look was priceless, and Kagome would have stopped to laugh if her situation wasn't so desperate.

"I have to pee Inuyasha! And if you don't help me outside soon I swear you'll have to clean up the mess I make!"

"Well, why didn't you tell me that sooner wench?" Hurriedly he scooped her up and took her outside. Kagome didn't respond as he sat her down at the edge of the tree line. A few moments later she limped back into view wiping her hands on a moist cleaning cloth she'd found in her pocket.

'_I feel better now. But I think a bath would make me feel one hundred times better. I know I have to smell by now…and my hair…erg…I don't even want to think about how oily it must look. I'm so glad I don't have to look at myself through Inuyasha's eyes right now….' _Inuyasha let her shuffle back to him without any help, but he watched her movements like a hawk, and the moment she stumbled even the slightest bit he was at her side.

"I know a bath would make you feel better, but Sango went with Kaede-baba to the next village to buy some kind of herb that only grows there and since you can barley move on your own, you'll just have to wait until she gets back." Instead of picking her up again, he just placed an arm around her waist for support and walked slowly beside her. Kagome was thankful that Inuyasha was at least letting her walk some of her soreness out.

"One of the village women could—"

"Keh, I don't trust any of those people. Stupid little fools would probably just let you drown…and besides, you don't look that bad…and you don't smell bad either." He reassured her. It occurred to him that Kagome had again not voiced her thoughts aloud before he'd answered her. Inuyasha pondered this for a moment, remembering certain times before Kagome had tried to sever their tie when he'd been able to hear her thoughts. He reasoned that his ability to now hear everything that ran through her mind must be one of the side effects that Kaede had mentioned.

"Well thank you, I guess, but I still want to at least change clothes." Kagome fingered the bottom of the pajama top someone had so thoughtfully changed her into who-knows-when. It hung limply on her body and was so rumpled and wrinkled that she couldn't tell if the print on it was of teddy bears wearing sunshades or hamsters with sunflower seeds.

"Keh." By this time they'd made it back to the hut. Kagome didn't fight Inuyasha when he ushered her back inside, because really, she was feeling tired again. Although she wasn't about to tell him that.

"Here's your bag, find some new clothes and yell when you finish dressing." He tossed the nearly empty yellow bag at her and turned to leave the room. Kagome sighed and dug through the thing in search of a clean shirt and shorts to sleep in.

'_Not only are we almost out of snack foods and ramen, but I need to go home for some clean clothes too. I think this is my last pair of panties…I guess I could talk some one into washing some of my things for me, but I'd rather just go home. I don't want to answer any questions about my bra; I'm sure to the women here in this time it would look like a strange implement of torture. Okay, I'm dressed now. Should I call Inuyasha in or just leave him out there. Not that it matters, I bet he'll barge in here in ten minutes tops if I don't say anything.'_

Kagome finished pulling her shirt over her head before she snuggled into her sleeping bag and futon. She wondered where Shippou had gotten himself off to and after a quick scan of the village with her miko powers she found his aura near the field where all the village children went to play. She smiled and let her powers fade away.

"Inuyasha you can come in now," she called. It was a full minute before the woven rug that covered the sleeping chamber door parted to let Inuyasha in. Kagome noticed that he was blushing lightly and that his ears seemed to be extra active, almost like he was listening hard to a conversation that was too low for her to hear.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked as he came to sit beside her.

"Don't worry about it." His tone told her that he didn't want to talk about it, and for once she left it alone. Kagome simply didn't feel like dragging an explanation for his strange behavior out of him.

She lay there wrapped in her warm sleeping bag for several minutes, her body tired, but not being able to drift off to sleep. Back, side, stomach, and repeat. After about the fifth cycle of this, Kagome sat up a little and looked over at Inuyasha, who was doing a very good job at ignoring her while still managing to look irritated.

"Inuyasha?" She wanted to ask him something, but she wasn't sure how well her request would go over.

"What?" He looked down at her with half hooded eyes, making it impossible for Kagome to really read his emotions.

"I can't sleep."

"Yeah, so what do you want me to do about it?" Inuyasha knew very well what she wanted him to do about it, but there was no way in hell he was going to volunteer. No, if that's what Kagome wanted she'd have to make the first move and ask.

Kagome sighed again, and then gathered up all her courage to make her request, although it shouldn't have been this hard considering how many times she'd been in that position while blind.

"Can…can I sleep in your lap? I mean, if you don't want me sitting on you I understand, but I just can't seem to get comfortable…" Inuyasha didn't wait for her to finish before gently pulling her into his lap. He made sure she was comfortably tucked in before leaning back against the wall of the hut.

"Inuyas—"

"Quiet. We only have a little time to sleep before the others get back and I'm tired." He wasn't really all that tired, but he figured that saying so would shut Kagome up. Inuyasha knew that if she ever stopped talking she would fall asleep, and he was right. Five minutes of silence later and her soft, even breathing could be heard. He shifted around so that he could see her face, lightly dappled by what little sunlight managed to fight its way into the small room.

"I'm glad it's you." He whispered before placing a light kiss on her forehead. Inuyasha really didn't know the reason he was glad it was Kagome he was in this situation with, but he knew what he'd said was true. There was no one living that he would choose over the girl in his arms to be bound with in this way.

"Don't worry. I promise we'll figure this all out soon."

* * *

TBC

_:uses best Big Shot voices (Big Shot is the Bounty Show that the Spike watches a lot on Cowboy Bebop)_

**Next time on TWTHE!**

**_ENTER MYOGA!_** **Inuyasha's flea youkai retainer shows up wanting to know why he wasn't invited to the party when Inuyasha made it official with Kagome!**

**_WHAT?_** **Made what official? **

**_AH OH_, looks like Myoga-gigi needs to teach our couple a thing or two about the formalities of inu-youkai mating!**

**And what's this? Why is Inuyasha in a _PET STORE_?**

**Shippou gets a pet _SQUIRRLE_?**

**It looks like the next chapter is going to be wild! I wouldn't miss it if I were you!**


	11. This Time

_Disclaimer: Has anyone thought about why we have to put up disclaimers? I mean do we really think that some big corporate guy/gal in Japan_ _is going to stumble upon our stories and decide to sue us for copy-right infringement? Or do we just writing this because it's cool looking? Or because we have nothing better to do? Maybe a long time ago somebody thought it would make there story look more formal if they had a disclaimer and over time it's became the thing to do? Bah…I don't really care anyway…If you think I own any of the barrowed chara.s in this story then you're just gullible enough to believe that I have a time warping well in my back yard that I'm willing to sell cheap_

_:RECAP:_

_Kagome sighed again, and then gathered up all her courage to make her request, although it shouldn't have been this hard considering how many times she'd been in that position while blind._

"_Can…can I sleep in your lap? I mean, if you don't want me sitting on you I understand, but I just can't seem to get comfortable…' Inuyasha didn't wait for her to finish before gently pulling her into his lap. He made sure she was comfortably tucked in before leaning back against the wall of the hut._

"_Inuyas—"_

"_Quiet. We only have a little time to sleep before the others get back. And I'm tired." He wasn't really all that tired, but he figured that saying so would shut Kagome up. Inuyasha knew that if she ever stopped talking she would fall asleep, and he was right. Five minutes of silence later and her soft, even breathing could be heard. He shifted around so that he could see her face, lightly dappled by what little sunlight managed to fight its way into the small room. _

"_I'm glad it's you." He whispered before placing a light kiss on her forehead. Inuyasha really didn't know the reason he was glad it was Kagome he was in this situation with, but he knew what he'd said was true. There was no one living that he would choose over the girl in his arms to be bound with in this way._

"_Don't worry. I promise we'll figure this all out soon."_

_:END RECAP:_

Chapter 11: This Time

* * *

_Don't make the same mistakes you did all over_

* * *

It was a beautiful sunlit day. The kind full of children's laughter and the sound of laundry flapping in the stiff breeze. The whole world seemed to be rejoicing in the simple pleasure of just bring alive. Well, everyone that is, but him.

Myoga wasn't a happy bloodsucker at the moment. In fact, I think you could say that he was most displeased as he hopped along the path that led to the village his lord had taken up semi-permanent residence in. The pack on his back was about twice his size, making his travel extremely difficult. He would have caught a ride on a passing animal, but all the dogs and cats in the area refused to accommodate him. And to make matters worse his feeling were still smarting from the news he'd gotten about his master.

"I can't believe he didn't invite me to the ceremony! I can understand not inviting his brother, even though, as head of the family it's Sesshomaru-sama's job to bless their union…but why didn't they invite me?" He sniffed in indignation. "Well, I'll show them! I'll come anyway and even bring the traditional gift!"

So the little flea youkai kept on traveling, albeit slowly, toward his delinquent master.

* * *

Kagome laughed out loud as she watched Shippou's antics in the water from her spot in the lush grass of the water bank. Around her Miroku, Sango, Kaede, Kirara, and Inuyasha were all taking part in some kind of relaxing activity. It wasn't often that they got a break from shard/Naraku hunting long enough to just have fun, but today was special. The whole group had gone on a picnic to celebrate the return of her sight.

"Okaa-chan! Watch me!" Shippou called from the rock he was perched on, ready to jump into the cool water when he had her undivided attention. Dutifully, Kagome turned watchful eyes toward him, clapping when he executed a perfect belly flop…although she was almost certain he'd been trying to do a dive like Inuyasha had earlier.

"Are you feeling alright?" Inuyasha asked as he came to sit beside her. Kagome nodded that she was fine, never taking her eyes off the little kit performing complex hydro-acrobatics in the water.

Inuyasha sighed a bit in contentment. He had been watching Kagome watch her son from a distance all morning and found that he could no longer stay away from her. The way the sun gleamed off her hair, the way she smelled of flowers and that strange 'shampoo' stuff she liked so much…the way her could hear all her thoughts in his head…Well it was all combining to drive him quite crazy. And to prove just how insane he really was, instead of going far FAR away from the problem (Kagome) like any normal person would have, Inuyasha found himself sitting as close as he could to her without being in her lap. And being this close to Kagome made him feel…content. It was a plus that she didn't seem to mind.

With one arm stretched out behind her to support his weight he leaned his head down close to whisper in her ear. "You know he'll probably drown trying to make you proud of him."

"If he starts to drown, you'll just have to save him." She answered back confidently.

"Oh, would I?" He wasn't quite sure if he was flirting with her or not, but at the moment Inuyasha didn't care. Kagome was having such loud, happy thoughts at the moment that he couldn't help but be happy right along with her.

"Yes, you would. Because inside you're just a really big softy." She reached up and tweaked his ear gently, then let go to give Shippou another round of applause.

"Keh." Inuyasha let just the barest hints of a smile show on his face. He knew she was right but damn if he'd agree with her openly.

"Inuyasha, I have to ask you something." The change in her mood from playful to serious set him on edge. He leaned away from her a bit and waited for her to continue.

"I think the reason Shippou's always so scared about being left behind is because he's the smallest of our group. Well other than the fact that his parent's were murdered and every one he depends on is in some kind of danger daily---"

"Get to the point, wench!" Inuyasha prodded when she started to babble off topic.

"What I'm trying to say is that I think if Shippou had someone to take care of, instead of always being the weakest, he'd have more confidence." She looked up at him with hopeful eyes, but for the life of him, Inuyasha still didn't get what she was trying to say. Kagome sighed and gave it another try. Maybe a more direct approach was needed to make him comprehend what she wanted.

"Inuyasha, didn't you ever want a puppy when you were smaller? Something to take care---" She paused mid-sentence when she noticed the look Inuyasha was giving her. It was the look he always used when she'd done something stupid, like becoming possessed or getting in the way of angry demon hordes. It was Kagome's turn to look confused. What was his problem anyway? If he didn't like the idea of Shippou getting a pet he could just say so, instead of looking at her like she'd grown two heads.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Inuyasha could hear the annoyance in her voice and he finally answered her.

"Umm…Hello!" he pointed to his white dog ears, "I don't think I ever asked my parents for a puppy. That'd be like asking for a brother or a sister, and believe me when I tell you that Sesshomaru was enough!" Kagome blinked at him, then it hit her. Inu-youkai…puppies…no wonder Inuyasha had looked at her so strangely.

"Oh…sorry…then…ummm…did you ever have any pets at all?" She watched as his eyes got a far away look to them, and for a moment she thought he wasn't going to answer her, then—

"I had a koi when I was little. It was a gift from my father when he came back from one of his trips abroad. I kept it in a big glass tank in my room. I really liked that fish." Inuyasha told her. His voice had an almost wishful quality to it.

"What happened to it?"

"Oh…my mother's cat made a meal out of it one day." Inuyasha frowned a little at the memory, mumbling something about the stupidity of all felines before he redirected the conversation, "So you want to get Shippou a pet?" He hoped the change in subject would distract Kagome from asking him unpleasant questions about his past. He really didn't want to get into all of that today. Kagome let the opportunity to pry into Inuyasha's past pass her by, but not before she's taken a little time to file what he'd just revealed into her memory. After all, it wasn't often that he opened up enough to share something from his childhood, and she wanted to make sure she'd remember it later.

"Yes…I was thinking something small…so he could carry it around with him…and definitely not something that's fragile. It's got to be able to live through him playing with it and every battle we're in. Any way, I was asking if you thought it was a good idea."

"Keh, I don't care as long as it doesn't bother me. And nothing with sharp teeth! Knowing the brat, he'd teach it to bite me! And nothing that makes annoying sounds at night…Oh and it can't eat a lot or reqire---"

"INUYASHA!" Kagome reached out and poked him in irritation, "Yes or no?"

"Hey! That hurt bit---"

"INUYASHA-SAMA! How COULD YOU?" The arguing couple was interrupted by a familiar voice. They both looked up in time to see a tiny flea youkai hurling toward them.

"I've watched over you all these many years…I was even the guardian of your most honored father's sacred tomb and this is how you repay me?" The distraught little demon's ranting didn't even pause as Inuyasha caught him between his thumb and his forefinger and squeezed.

"I can understand you being rude, but Kagome-sama! I thought you liked me!" He continued to wail.

"Umm…What's he talking about?" Sango asked, having been drawn over by all the commotion.

"I have no clue." Kagome responded as the old bloodsucker continued to rant about whatever it was he was upset about.

"Have you and Inuyasha been keeping secrets from us, hmm?" Miroku asked, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. Kagome blushed while Sango knocked the perverted monk in the head.

Meanwhile, with the help of a little bit of squishing and a few well placed shakes, Inuyasha got Myoga to calm down enough to answer questions.

"Oi, Jiji…what exactly did Kagome and I do to you that was so rude?" He applied a little pressure with his fingers as he asked...just to encourage Myoga to respond of course.

"Don't act like you don't know! I know you all think I'm a coward and that I run away in battle, but I always have your best interest at heart! And anyway, that's no reason to not invite me to your kekkonshiki no shinkouteki! (Literally Spiritual Marriage ceremony) As a loyal servant to both your father and to yourself I deserved to be there!" His angry words were greeted with shocked silence then all hell broke lose in the form of a fury of questions, and Inuyasha almost squishing his retainer into the afterlife.

"Huh?"

"Kekkonshiki no shinkouteki?"

"There really _is_ something you haven't told us isn't there?"

"I like not the sound of this."

"Okaa-chan, what's kek...kekkon...kekkon...sha..she...shi...what ever those long words were, mean?" Suddenly all eyes turned to the silent Kagome as if she alone had the answer to the confusing mystery. All Kagome could do was look at Inuyasha, who in turn looked at Myoga.

"Inuyasha, is there something that you forgot to tell me?" Her voice was quiet, but not in a good way. This was the type of quiet that promised much pain for Inuyasha in the form of that dreaded subdue word. In desperation Inuyasha thrust the flea youkai he was still holding toward Kagome, hoping it would appease her wrath.

"Here ask him! I have no idea what the bastard's talking about!" Kagome took the slightly flat flea into her palm and nudged him with a finger.

"Myoga-jichan…exactly what are you talking about?" She watched in even more confusion as _happy_ tears filled up the old youkai's eyes.

"You really don't know do you? That means I wasn't not invited on purpose!" The joy in his voice was too much for Inuyasha, who snatched the insect youkai back from Kagome and gave him another good squeeze.

"Answer the question already before I flatten you so bad it'll take a hundred years for you to puff back up!" He yelled.

"It seems that in order to answer your question I'm going to have to give you a long over due lesson in the rituals of inu-youkai mating." His self-important tone rang loud in the clearing as everyone held their breath, waiting to see the reactions of Inuyasha and Kagome. While the later blushed a deep scarlet at the words 'mating rituals', Inuyasha just chunked Myoga away from himself as if he'd been burnt…or bitten.

"Kami-sama help us. This is going to be a long day." Kaede prayed.

* * *

Kagome sat under the tree outside of Kaede's hut and tried to still the nervous fidgeting of her fingers by grasping her hands tightly together in her lap. Her stomach felt as if it was playing host to a convention of butterflies. She couldn't shake the feeling that whatever Myoga had to say would be very…unsettling….

'_Why do I even bother to feel nervous about this? I already know that there's no way on earth that I can be unbound from Inuyasha, even if that means that Kikyou will fade away. And from what Sango said, this spell has kinda turned into a mating spell…so we already knew we were bound in sorta the same way as that. As I see it there's nothing to be worried about. We'll just sit Myoga straight about our relationship and that'll take care of his confusion.'_ Kagome felt better after she'd giving herself that little pep talk. That is until a certain hanyou rained on her parade.

"Keh, just goes to show how little you know bitch. A snowball has a better chance in hell, than you do getting Myoga-jiji to understand this fucked up mess we've gotten ourselves into." He sat down close to her and before Kagome knew what was happening she found herself sitting in his lap. Kagome fought the urge to just snuggle up to him as much as she could, but oh if felt good to be in his arms again. This was where she felt safe and warm…and loved. She didn't want to leave, yet she was afraid to stay.

'_Why is he doing this now? I have my sight back, so it's not like before when he held me so I wouldn't freak out thinking I was alone. And it's not like I can't sleep and I'm begging him to hold me. I still can't believe I did that but in my defiance, my sleeping pattern was off. I wonder if he's holding me now is just out of habit? I wonder if I should just get up. If he doesn't realize what he's done then it might be better if I don't get to comfortable here.'_ Kagome sighed, and decided to make up some kind of excuse for having to leave, that way it, hopefully, wouldn't be so awkward. But before she could even start to formulate a believable one, she felt Inuyasha's arms tighten around here waist.

"Don't even think about it." He growled into her ear, his warm, slightly damp, breath played over the exposed skin of her neck and made her shiver slightly. Kagome swallowed hard and fought valiantly not to melt into his embrace.

"Inuyasha, you know, since I've got my sight back, you don't have to hold me in your lap like this anymore if you don't want to. I mean, I know yesterday I asked to so I could sleep, but that was a one time thing I assure you." He allowed her to pull back a little so that she could look into his face, but he refused to give her enough room to slide out of his lap.

"Keh." Inuyasha wasn't sure how to tell Kagome that he liked, no _needed_ to be close to her like this. Hell he didn't even know if he'd _want_ to tell her even if he knew how. So he just kehed, hoping that would be the end of it. And it probably would have ended there with anyone else besides Kagome.

"I mean it Inuyasha. You can put me down; I promise I won't get mad." She started to squirm around a bit, but Inuyasha put a stop to that by pressing a clawed hand to her waist.

"Just sit still, would ya and stop with all the questions!"

"But I think---"

"Then don't think. Just relax. I know you're still pretty tired from using so much of your miko magic and today has been a long day. Just let me take care of you." His started to comb his hand gently through her hair in long even strokes. For a moment she got tenser, if that was even possible, then she slowly relaxed.

"Okay." Kagome snuggled in close and rested her head on his shoulder. Inuyasha was right; she did feel tired from the day. Maybe she'd just sleep a little bit?

"Wake me up when Myoga-jichan comes out to talk to us, k?"

"Whatever, just get some rest wench." Inuyasha adjusted her body so that her legs were draped over one of his legs and her back was cradled against his arm. Now he could watch her face while she slept. And he could make sure she stayed asleep during his conversation with the bloodsucker.

"I know you're there Jiji. I suggest you come out and tell me what the hell all that stuff was about this afternoon before I make good on that threat to squash you."

* * *

"I'm sorry for my actions this afternoon Inuyasha-sama; you must forgive this old flea for jumping to conclusions." Myoga hoped out of the shadows he'd been hiding in and came to sit on Inuyasha's shoulder. He eyed the side of his master's cheek and debated whether he should chance a small sip of his blood or not. A glance up at Inuyasha made his debate a moot point. The look in his eyes told Myoga that he was seconds away from being made into a greasy spot between two rocks. He twitched a little, and then decided that it wasn't in his best interest to anger the hanyou farther.

"A few days ago I heard an interesting piece of gossip that said that the strange shard hunting miko and her half youkai companion had preformed the Kekkonshiki no Shinkouteki. I was upset because I thought I hadn't been invited to witness the ceremony---"

"Oi, what in the fucking hell is a Kekkonshiki no Shinkouteki? And what does it have to do with Kagome and me?" Inuyasha interrupted. Kagome stirred a little at the harsh tone of his voice but settled down when he began to softly rub her back. Myoga watched this display with interest before continuing as if Inuyasha hadn't interrupted at all.

"So of course I hurried here as fast as I could to see why I'd been so rudely ignore. When I found out that neither of you had any idea that you'd taken part in the ceremony I decided that before I explained anything to you I needed to talk to Kaede-sama about what had exactly concurred. She is a brilliant miko, I would never have thought about using a binding spell in such a fashion…"

"I don't care how damn smart she is when it comes to all that shit! Just explain this Kekkon…whatever-it-is to me!" This time Inuyasha was sure to keep his voice low, so as not to disturb the girl sleeping in his arms. Myoga sighed patiently and continued.

"After talking to the miko I realized that the whole situation was purely coincidental. Which is a very strange thing in itself. No, don't interrupt me again," Myoga instructed when Inuyasha opened his mouth. "I'm getting to what you want to know, but before I explain the rituals of mating to you, I think we should wake Kagome-sama up. She needs to hear this too."

"No." Inuyasha's tone left no room for argument, or at least he thought it left no room. Myoga obviously had other ideas, because he began to try to convince Inuyasha that Kagome should be awake for this.

"She has just as much at stake here as you do. Maybe more so because she's human. She needs to know what's happening to herself." Myoga tried to reason.

"She knows what's happening. Our souls are forever bound. She has to stay near me forever. End of story. She doesn't need to know anything else." He pulled Kagome closer to his chest instinctively. Inuyasha growled low in his chest without realizing it. He was afraid of what Myoga had to say.

'_Really I'm more afraid of how what he says might change my relationship with Kagome than the message itself. I already have a good idea about what he'd going to say…I'm not that stupid. I don't want anything to change between us. I don't want her to be mad or unhappy. I don't want her to feel pressured.'_

"Inuyasha, under normal circumstances the female in the relationship has a choice…As I see it Kagome didn't get that choice, so it would be like adding salt to the injury to keep this from her." Myoga could see that his words had hit a sensitive spot with Inuyasha. The little flea hoped that it would be enough to bring his master around.

"I'll tell her later." Came his sullen reply. Myoga sighed sadly. It looked like his master left him no choice. With a lightening fast jump he was on Kagome's cheek filling his belly with her bittersweet blood. Inuyasha yelled and reached for him and at the same time Kagome's hand reached up to slap him away. Inuyasha drew back so that he wouldn't hurt her, just as Myoga had anticipated. With another leap he landed on a small rock just out of the hanyou's reach. With Kagome in his lap stirring awake, there was no way for Inuyasha to come after him unless he wanted to dump Kagome in the dirt. Inuyasha growled out his frustration and settled on throwing anything he could get his hands on at the flea, but Myoga was able to dodge most of the pebbles and clods of dirt.

Kagome blinked slowly and yawned. Inuyasha stopped yelling and throwing things as she stretched in his lap. His attention was all on her now and Myoga breathed a sigh of relief. He wouldn't have been able to keep up that dodging pace much longer.

"Inuyasha is Myoga-jichan here yet?" Kagome asked as she reached up to rub the sleep out of her eyes. She felt better after her nap and it showed in the smile she sent his way.

"Yeah he just got here." He answered.

"Oh, is that who you were yelling at?" She sat up and looked around until she found the little flea youkai perched on a rock just out of Inuyasha's reach. She smiled and waved at him.

"Are you finally ready to talk to us now?" Kagome shifted to get out of Inuyasha's lap, and for a moment it looked like he wasn't going to let her go, but finally he released her. He settled instead on just holding her hand as she sat close to his side.

"Yes, I'm ready to begin if it's alright with Inuyasha-sama?" Inuyasha kehed his consent, so Myoga continued, "First Kagome, what do you know about youkai mating?"

"I…umm…not much." She was caught off guard by the question and could only blush and stutter out her answer. "Other than they ma..mate for life." Inuyasha squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"That's a small part of it, yes. I see I'm going to have to start from the beginning." Myoga sat down and made himself comfortable on his rock. It looked like they were all going to be here for a while.

"Every youkai tribe has its own rituals for mating. Some are complex and take many months, and some are very simple. The inu-youkai fall somewhere in between these two groups in that inu youkai only have two basic rituals that have to be preformed in order for the couple to be completely joined…" Inuyasha watched Kagome while Myoga went on with his long winded speech. She was listening with the same look in her eyes as she got when she was studying for those test that were so important to her. This looked used to irritate him more than anything else in the world, because it meant that Kagome wasn't paying any attention to him, but now that it was pointed toward something that dealt directly with him he felt a little unsettled. As if Kagome knew his eyes were on her, she turned her head and looked up at him. With a frown she noted that he was indeed not listening to what Myoga had to say just as she'd thought. With a quick jab of her elbow she got his attention.

"Pay attention to what he's saying!" She hissed into his ear. Inuyasha immediately tuned back into the flea youkai, knowing that angering Kagome at the moment wasn't a wise thing to do.

"…normally the Kekkonshiki no Shinteki (literally the physical marriage ceremony.) is only preformed first if the youkai lord is in need of an heir quickly. In most cases the Kekkonshiki no Shinkouteki comes first because most couples prefer to bind their souls together before they share their bodies with each other. Some say that it makes the act of intimacy more…pleasurable…" Kagome blushed brighter than Inuyasha had ever seen her blush, and he might have smirked at the sight if he wasn't so busy hiding his own red face. His ears even felt hot.

"Now from what I can gather from Kaede-sama when she bound the two of you together so that Kagome could borrow your eyes, I've figured out that she inadvertaly preformed the Kekkonshiki no Shinkouteki. Although it was a bit different from the normal ceremony it had the same effect. By youkai standards you both are now mates." Myoga paused, waiting for their questions. It would be easier to answer them as they went instead of at the end of the lesson.

"Okay, so our souls are bound. We already knew that." Inuyasha bluntly pointed out, "I don't see how any of this other stuff matters."

"So, by inu-youkai standards, Inuyasha and I are married?" Kagome broke in to clarify.

"You might have already know you were bound, but don't assume that everything begins and ends there Inuyasha-sama. And to your question Kagome-sama, yes, to put it in human terms, Inuyasha is your husband."

"But I'm too young to get married!" Kagome nearly shouted. Being bound to Inuyasha forever was one thing, but being married to him was a whole other matter. One she wasn't sure she was ready for.

"But how can that be? You've had your first blood that marks maturity, haven't you? There is no reason for you to be considered too young for marriage." Kagome was too embarrassed to answer Myoga's question. She berated herself for forgetting that this time had different views about such things as she buried her face into Inuyasha's sleeve. Inuyasha reached over with his free hand and stroked her hair in comfort while he explained, with barely suppressed growls, to Myoga that Kagome's time saw things a little differently.

Myoga looked at him doubtfully, but continued on with his explanation. "Now, what I haven't mentioned is that certain things happen when the souls of the potential mates have been bound that show how strongly their link is. The male should be able to sense the feelings of his mate to some degree, and be able to calm her down if she's distressed over something. The female can also calm her mate down using their link, but normally this power isn't very strong because the male needs to be able to fight without his female trying to take his edge off.

Longevity is another 'side effect'. Kagome, your life span will now match Inuyasha's because he is the strongest person in the relationship." Kagome sucked in a breath as the meaning of Myoga's words hit her. She was going to live as long as Inuyasha now? That could very well mean that right now, in her time there was a much older version of herself. It made her head hurt just thinking about it.

"…normal things that happen, but if the spell warps in some way, or isn't preformed just right, as in your case, the effect also change in strange ways. Now, this is what I want you to both pay special attention to because some of these things are potentially deadly. Kaede has already told me that you can't be separated without feeling pain. This is one of the side effect of a soul mating done wrong. This was caused by Inuyasha's youkai soul instinctively knowing that your binding wasn't as sold as it would have been had the spell been preformed right. It doesn't help matters that Kagome is missing a piece of her soul or that she tried to destroy the link between you. In order to keep your mate close to you, your soul made it painful for her to leave."

Inuyasha cringed. Why was it always his soul that caused all the trouble? Why couldn't Kagome's be responsible for some of this shit every once in awhile?

"In extreme circumstances, any wound the male gets will be reflected onto the female's body. I know this has happened to you both already, but unfortunately I can't tell you why it has happened. Of all the symptoms that could possible come about, this one is the one that cannot be explained." In the silence that followed Myoga's last statement, Kagome absently noticed that the sun was sitting in the west. It was a pretty sunset, full of deep oranges and purples and pinks. It was such a simple thing to behold, unlike her life, which was getting more and more complicated with each passing moment. She wanted to be mad at Inuyasha for not telling her all this himself, but she could sense that he had been just as in the dark as she'd been.

'_And to think, all I really wanted was to borrow his eyes for a few weeks, and instead I get my soul tied to his. On top of that I find out that I'm married at 17and_ _could potentially live forever. Suddenly I just want to go home to my time.'_ She thought on that for a moment. Why couldn't she leave right now? She needed to restock her bag anyway, and this would be the perfect time to get Shippou his pet. Inuyasha would have to come with her of course, but as long as he didn't do anything to get on her nerves that shouldn't matter.

"I'm going home." Kagome stood up without looking at either of the youkai and walked toward the hut to get her things together. Inuyasha let her go, knowing that right now wasn't the time to try and stop her.

"Oh, Inuyasha-sama, I have a few more things to tell you before you go running after Kagome-sama. You should be expecting your brother to pay a visit soon."

"WHAT!"

"Well, as the head of the family and the clan, it is Sesshomaru-sama's duty to bless your union with Kagome. Since you were rude and didn't invite him to the ceremony, or come to his court for the ceremony, he will feel the need to come to you."

"_WHAT?"_

"And also I've brought the traditional gift of kekkonshiki no Shinteki for you to give Kagome-sama when you decide to complete your bond." Myoga pulled his large pack out from behind the rock he was sitting in and opened it. He lifted a vial of purple powder from it and held it out toward Inuyasha, "This is the crusted uterus of a highly fertile rabbit youkai. It has been passed down for many generations because just one pinch of the powder will increase your mate's fertility by one hundred fold. I don't know what it will do to Kagome, but I'm sure it will help her bare healthy children. "

"**_WHAT!"_**

"I said---"

"I know what you said…I just don't know what you want me to do with that stuff." Inuyasha scooted away from Myoga and the vial as it they were poison.

"Give it to Kagome, of course. That's what the males of your line have been doing for centuries!" Myoga hopped closer to his master who was now crawfishing away as fast as he could.

"I. Am. NOT. GIVING. THAT. SHIT. TO. KAGOME. I don't care what kinda traditions that breaks!" He swatted at the flea when he kept coming closer.

"You don't have to give it to her, just keep it with you. If I'm caught with it on my person I could be killed because this is scared for your family." By this time Inuyasha had ran out of places to crawl so he had no choice but to take the vial from his retainer. He quickly shoved it inside his haori with a shudder, although secretly the thought of Kagome having his children was appealing.

"Keh, if you tell her about this Jiji I'll make sure you stay flat for eternity."

Kagome watched the steam rise up from her bath and lazily drift up toward the ceiling. She fantasized that as it rose it turned into different animals. Then she worked on molding the soap bubbles into animals. Anything to keep from thinking about Inuyasha and their situation. It wasn't until she noticed that the soap-bubble-sculpture she was working on looked strikingly like Inuyasha (or as much as a lump of foamy bubbles could look like anything) that she gave up the fight.

"How am I supposed to look him in the face now? Before, we knew that our link was _like_ something mates would have, but that was all it was. Now that we know the possibility is a reality, I don't know how to act around him. This changes everything. This means that there can never be anyone else for us. I'm locked into a relationship and I don't even know if he loves me. Well, that's not true. I do know that he loves me, I'm just not sure it's the kind of love one has for a wife. Oh, what am I going to do?" She buried her face in her bubble covered hands, then jerked back when soap got in her eyes.

"That was so stupid!" Kagome struggled, half blinded by the evil suds, to get out of the tub without falling. She turned on the tap and rinsed her eyes out. She looked in the mirror and glared at how bloodshot they now looked. Mumbling about how it was all Inuyasha's fault she stepped back into the bath---only to find that the water was now cold. With a sigh and a tired shrug Kagome gave up own getting a long relaxing bath tonight. Without much thought she pulled her p.j's on and headed to her room for some much needed sleep. Let Souta entertain Inuyasha for a while, she just didn't have the strength to deal with him right now.

Kagome didn't bother to turn on the lights in her room as she walked in. This turned out to be a potentially painful decision on her part when she tripped over something on the floor. With a muffled yelp she prepared herself for the pain of landing on her floor, but it never happened. Two clawed hands reached out and caught her before she could plummet to the floor. Inuyasha gathered her to his chest protectively, trying to see if she'd hurt herself somehow.

"I guess some thing's never change, huh?" He asked softly. Kagome gazed up at him in the darkness; the only things visible to her human eyes were his slightly glowing ones.

"Hmm?" She was too entranced to do more than make a questioning sound in the back of her throat. His eyes truly were beautiful in the dark as each fleck of gold came to have a shimmering life of its own.

"No matter what happens you'll always be the clumsiest bitch I know." The spell was broken. Kagome wrenched herself away from him and plopped down on her bed. She pointed toward the door and demanded that he leave her room.

"Why? I always stay in here when you sleep?" Inuyasha was a bit confused. He'd only been trying reassure her, in a round-about way, that some something's hadn't changed in their relationship.

"I don't care what you normally do, tonight your sleeping on the couch." She laid down so that her back was to him and pulled her covers up over her head. Inuyasha looked at her back for a moment before sitting down on the floor. When she didn't demand that he leave again he began to relax. He knew that she didn't mean it.

"I meant in Inuyasha. If you don't leave right now I'll say the "s" word. And don't think for one moment that it won't hurt. I'll find a way for it to hurt. Just go away." Okay, so maybe she really did mean it. He wondered if he should just do what she said, but the desire to be near her was too strong.

"Keh, the couch is probably too far away. I'm not going anywhere." To prove his point he made a big deal of getting comfortable on her rug, making sure she could hear what he was doing clearly. He heard her sigh and turn over, but she didn't attempt to make him move again. He glanced over at her worriedly. He couldn't hear her thoughts at the moment because they were too muddled, but the emotions she was giving off were full of despondency.

Tinitivly he reached out to give her comfort by running his fingers through her long raven tresses. To his dismay, his actions only made the feelings worse. He sat up on his knees so that he could see her better. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut and forehead her was drawn into a frown.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" He asked quietly, trying to keep the worry from showing up in his tone. She didn't answer for a moment or two, and Inuyasha began to suspect that she was ignoring him, but then she sighed and opened her eyes.

"Inuyasha, maybe we should try to put some space between us."

"That's not going to happen, or have you forgotten how much that hurts?"

"No, I don't mean that kind of space. I've been thinking about it since you let me sit in your lap this afternoon. And then I remembered what Sango said a few days ago about how since the spell was cast we'd become more affectionate. And I…I just don't want you to be near me because of some stupid spell! I want…I want it to be different…I…I" She was struggling to make him understand that she didn't just want him to love her because he had to, but it was hard to force those words out passed her suddenly dry throat. "I just think…that if we tried not to…touch…each other…for a while…that it might be…for the best." Kagome refused to meet his gaze when she'd finished. That would only make this harder, and Kami-sama knows that it was already hard enough to tell him not to touch her anymore. But when the silence began to stretch out over long moments, Kagome couldn't help but glance toward him.

Inuyasha had been waiting for her to do that, and with a quick dart of his hand he caught her chin and held it there until she met his eyes. When he was sure she wasn't going to look away he moved to sit on the edge of her bed, and leaned over her with deliberate slowness. He placed a hand on either side of her head and moved in closer to her. Inuyasha's hair fell around them, creating a curtain of silver that hid them from the world.

'_I thought I took care of this today…why doesn't she understand?'_

"You are mine." Just like his movements had been, Inuyasha spoke with deliberately slow, so that she was sure to understand everything he was saying. "I don't give one flying fuck how it happened but now that it has I'm not going to act like it's not true. If you're worried that the only reason I want to be near you is because of the bond then don't think about it." He was so close to her that even in the darkness Kagome could make out all his features. She could see just how serious he was, but she still wasn't convinced.

"How do you know that you're not being controlled by this spell?" She had to know. There was no way she would ever be comfortable again if he didn't prove it to her now. Inuyasha growled deep in his chest at her doubting words. He wanted to just kiss her until she was senseless to prove his point, but something told him that was the wrong thing to do. For a second he stopped to wonder just why he was fighting her over this. A few weeks ago he would go out of his way to avoid touching her, but now he was thinking of kissing her senseless? He wondered if she was right about the spell fooling around with his feelings, but he rejected that idea immediately. No he'd always _wanted_ to touch her like this; he'd just never had the courage to. But that didn't matter now, because she was his. How did he tell her that though? There was no way in hell he was going to just come right out and say all that.

"Please just trust me Kagome. Don't push me away, I need you." Okay so that wasn't much better than the other stuff he could have said, but Inuyasha decided not to dwell on that right now. His words seemed to do the trick though, because Kagome suddenly wrapped her arms around his chest with a quiet sob.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so afraid. I don't want to lose you. I'm afraid you'll start hating me because you can't get away from me. You never asked to be tied down like this; you didn't even want to be bound to me in the beginning when we thought all it would do was give me your eyes." Inuyasha pressed his forehead to hers and waited for the flow of half hysterical words to ebb before talking. It hurt him a little that she thought him capable of hating her. After all they'd been through didn't she know how much she meant to him?

"I could never hate you Kagome. You should know that by now." He scolded gently, "and I promised that I wouldn't leave you, remember? We're going to have to take this one day at a time for a while but I know we'll figure it all out, okay?" He didn't wait for her to answer before he moved back to drop a quick kiss to her forehead. He sat up and gently pulled her arms away from himself. Inuyasha pulled her covers back up to her chin and tucked it around her body snuggly.

"Go to sleep now, wench 'cause tomorrow we're going back down that well and I don't want to hear you whine about how tired you are." The old Inuyasha was back, and Kagome couldn't help the serge of relief she felt. This new gentle side of Inuyasha made her slightly uncomfortable and off balance. But she could deal with the old gruff Inuyasha easily.

"Okay, and I suppose I'll let you stay in here tonight even though I should make you sleep outside for saying I was clumsy."

"It's not my fault that the truth hurts so much bitch." He grumbled as he leaned his back against her bed. He felt her reach out and give his ears and gentle tweaking and he smiled. He was glad that they were back on safe ground again. Talking about feelings and shit like that always made him feel twitchy.

"Night Inuyasha."

"Night Kagome."

* * *

"Momma!" Kagome screamed at the top of her lungs as she dug through some old boxes in the attic. "Do you know where those old school books you used to teach us with when we were little are?" She coughed a bit from the dust that flew up as she opened yet another unmarked box.

"You're looking in the wrong place dear. The books you're looking for are going to be in that corner over there." Kagome jumped a little at the sound of her mother's voice coming from right behind her. She turned to see where she was pointing before crawling over in that direction.

"You scared me. I didn't expect for you to show up that fast."

"Well, I saw Inuyasha sitting at the bottom of the latter looking miserable so I decided to check on you."

"Yeah, all the dust kinda bothers his nose. I had pity on him and sent him down, although seeing him sneeze ten times in a row was fun." Kagome opened up the first box and found what she was looking for. Memories of her mother teaching her how to read and write flashed before her eyes as she dug through the stacks.

"Why do you want to take these to the past with you? You know you have to be careful with what you teach the people there Kagome." Her mother tried to hide the concern in her voice but Kagome heard it. She sat back on her heels and whipped her forehead with the back of her hand.

'_I guess now is as good a time as any to tell her that I've adopted Shippou.'_

"Mamma do you remember me telling you about the little boy I've been taking care of in the past?" At her mother's nod Kagome continued. "Well, I've kinda adopted him and now I want to teach him how to read and write and other things like that. That's why I need these books." She waited for her mother to say something but all she felt was her warm arms surrounding her. Kagome was surprised for a moment; she'd been expecting her mother to tell her she was too young to raise a child. Maybe if she took this news well she'd take the news that Kagome was married too even better.

"Oh Kagome, you're growing up so fast. Before I know it you'll be married and leaving us forever."

'_Oh Mom, is you only knew how close to the truth you are.'_

* * *

"Oh! Look at these Inuyasha! Aren't they just the cutest things?" Kagome cooed over the puppies in the window of the pet store while Inuyasha stood behind her clearly nonplused to be there. She had insisted that before they went back that Shippou's pet had to be bought. Inuyasha wondered how animals could live in glass boxes like those the puppies were in but he didn't say anything to Kagome. The quicker she got in there and picked out a pet for the brat the quicker they could get back to the quiet of the shrine.

"Come on, we have to go in." Kagome reached out and tugged on his hand to pull him forward. She knew that Inuyasha wasn't enjoying this much, but she wasn't about to let him rain on her parade.

When they walked in the woman behind the counter looked Inuyasha up and down from the top of his floppy hat to the ends of the pointy claws on his bare feet. When her eyes fell on his sword she started. Kagome rushed to assure her that Inuyasha was harmless.

"He's just dressed up for a play our shrine is putting on. The sword is fake." The woman visibly relaxed and Inuyasha mumbled something under his breath about the stupidity of human females. Kagome just jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow to show him that she didn't appreciate his words.

"I need a pet for my son. He's about six years old and small for his age so it needs to be something little. He also is a bit…hyperactive…so it needs to be something that won't die if he plays a little roughly with it." She could almost see the gears in the woman's head working to figure out how a person as young as she was could have a child six years of age. She debated on wither to tell the nosy woman that Shippou was adopted but Inuyasha beat her to it.

"Shippou is adopted. His parents died a few years ago." The woman nodded her understanding.

"Oh, well for your son I'd suggest a rabbit, a miniature squirrel or one of our breeds of rodent. Of course you could always go for the traditional thing and get him a puppy." Kagome looked over at Inuyasha and almost laughed at the expression on his face.

"No, a puppy isn't really an option. Inuyasha here is allergic to dog hair." If looks could kill, Kagome would be six foot under. She could feel the heat of his gaze burning into the back of her head as the woman pointed them toward the rodent section of the pet store. As soon as they were out of sight he started to growl at her.

"First you tell her that Tetsusaiga is _fake_, then you tell her that I'm **_allergic_** to dogs? What are you thinking!" Kagome did laugh then. She tried to control it, she really did, but the look on his face was priceless. Inuyasha humphed and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn't see what was so funny. Kagome managed to contain her mirth. She reached up and brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face and looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry Inuyasha, but I had to tell her the sword was fake before she kicked us out. It's illegal in my time to carry weapons openly. As for the other thing, she assumed we lived at the shrine because I told her you were acting in a drama. She was just trying to give one of those puppies a good home with lots of room to run. I didn't want to seem heartless and just say no outright. I'm sorry if I made you mad." He could see that she was sincere so Inuyasha kehed and uncrossed his arms.

"Let's get this over with, Kagome. All these cages are making me nervous." Understanding that she was forgiven, Kagome moved to look around. The rabbits looked so cute and cuddly that she immediately wanted one of them, until Inuyasha reminded her that foxes like to eat rabbits. The thought of her son making a meal out of his pet turned her stomach so she moved over to the white rat cages.

"Kirara would swallow that thing whole in one gulp." He pointed out. Kagome, tired of him hovering over her shoulder pushed him toward the reptile area.

"Go over there and look at the snakes and lizards! Guys like that sort of stuff, just don't sit anything free, okay?"

"Whatever."

She sighed when he wondered off in the direction of the snakes. With him gone she could finally get down to business.

...15 minutes later...

"Inuyasha, I am **_not_** buying Shippou-chan a snake! Those things are nasty and scary and I refuse to give such a thing to my child! Now what about a ferret or a squirrel?"

"Squirrels are for wimps! What Shippou needs is a snake, and for your information they are not nasty."

"Squirrels are not wimpy! They're cute and easy to take care of."

"They have big teeth and they smell!"

"Their source of food is easily found where we live. We'd never have to pack extra stuff when we travel."

"We can feed the squirrel to the snake and he'd be full for a month!"

"We. ARE. NOT. GETTING. A. SNAKE!" Kagome's yell echoed over the suddenly quiet pet store. She blushed when the manager cleared her throat.

"I think your girlfriend is right sir, a snake isn't really a good gift for a six year old because they really can't pet it or play with it. I think her little boy would enjoy a squirrel more."

"Keh." Inuyasha knew when he was out voted, but he wasn't about to let Kagome have the last word.

"When he cries because you got him a wimpy squirrel I'm going to tell him that he could have gotten a snake."

"You do that Inuyasha." Kagome patted him on the arm and followed the woman toward the squirrels. "There's a little one over here with light brown fur and a black strip on it's back. That's the one I want…"

* * *

"Tell me again why you needed all of this shit?" Inuyasha grumbled as he hauled everything up and out of the well.

"Umm, we were out of everything over on this side of the well, so I brought more food and first aid stuff. I also brought my homework with me since I'm sure the doctor will release me to go back to school when I go for my check up in a few days, and then there are the books I'm going to use to teach Shippou with. They couldn't all fit into my yellow bag so I had to get him one of his own. And the rest of this stuff is for the squirrel." She held up the little clear box she'd bought to carry the fluffy tailed rodent in until she could give it to Shippou.

"Keh." He was still miffed that they'd brought back and squirrel and not a snake.

"Okaa-chan! You're back! Did you bring me anything? I missed you a lot! Myoga-jichan said you and Inuyasha left because you needed some time alone, and when I asked him why he said that he'd tell me when I'm older, but I already understand stuff like that because I hang around Miroku. I don't think Myoga-jichan knows what he's talking about though because Inuyasha would never act like Miroku." He finally paused to take breath and Kagome jumped in.

"Okay, one thing at a time. Yes, I brought you back something good. Yes, Inuyasha and I went away for a bit but no it did not have anything to do with Miroku. And yes you are right; Myoga-jichan doesn't know what he's talking about half the time. Now do you want to see your surprise?" She sat down on the ground beside him and pulled the little cage out from behind her back. Shippou looked at it funny for a moment, wondering why Kagome was giving him a see-through box. Then he noticed movement in the box. He peered closely at it as a fluffy ball of fur appeared from beneath the layer of saw dust it'd been napping under.

"You can get it out. I got it for you as a pet." Kagome prodded when all he did was stare.

"Told you we should have gotten a snake." Inuyasha mumbled. Kagome chose to ignore him.

Shippou gently sat the cage down and pried off the bright blue lid of the box. Then he reached in and pulled the squirrel out by its tail. Kagome was almost afraid that the animal would bite him, but the tiny thing just looked at Shippou with black beady eyes as it hung upside-down next to his face. Shippou blinked. The squirrel blinked back. Suddenly Shippou grasp the small mammal to his chest and beamed a radiant smile up at Kagome.

"Thank you Okaa-chan! This is the best gift ever! Can I go show him to Kaede-baachan? Oh what am I going to name it? I bet Kirara will help me pick one out! AH! I've got to go show everyone! Thank you so much!" He sprang forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek before rushing off to show everyone the newest member of their group.

"I told you he'd like the squirrel." Kagome told Inuyasha smugly.

"Keh. You just wait in a few hours he'll find out how wimpy that thing is and then you'll be sorry you didn't get the snake."

* * *

TBC

AN

Wow, now we're back to long chapters! This chapter dealt with a lot of things, so I hope I pulled if off farley well. Oh and some important notes.

**Kagome calls her mother Momma, but Shippou calls Kagome Okaa-chan? What's up with that:** I can explain! Really I can! You see if you watch the sub version of the show you notice that Kagome calls her mother Momma in English. Shippou doesn't know English. In fact he doesn't even know such a language exist at this point in time. So he uses Japanese and Kagome being influenced by Western Culture uses random English words. Kinda like we American otaku's use random Japanese words, ne?

**Shippou's new pet:** A lot of people review and told me just how messy squirrel are. I understand all of your concerns but it had to be a squirrel. Why you may ask? Simply because one of my favorite manga's just ended (Kodocha) and the author had a squirrel that died while she was writing the last few pages. So Shippou's squirrel is my little tribute to her.

**Hitomi's Handy-dandy Guide of Doom to Inu-youkai Mating:**

_When two consenting youkai decide that they want to give the mating thing a go they have to go through two different, distinct ceremonies. There must be at least two weeks and two days between ceremonies or the consequences could be fatal. But these rituals can be done in any order, and as long as one had been done the youkai are considered mates, just not full mates…Kinda like an engagement you can't back out of._

_The Physical Ceremony (**Kekkonshiki no Shinteki)**: In which the mates pledge to honor each other and their separate houses by having many children. Gifts between mates are exchanged, to show that they will always take care of each other. Normally the gifts giving by the male are to increase the female's fertility. As a general rule, the only reason this ceremony would come first is if the male was a lord and needed an heir quickly._

_The Spiritual Ceremony (**Kekkonshiki no Shinkouteki)**: In which the couple has their souls bound together. This ceremony requires someone of strong spiritual power to link the potential mates through a complex spell using their blood. The ceremony starts with both male and female making small, but deep cuts to one forefinger. Then their blood is collected separately in new bowls. It is very important for these bowls to have never been used before, because the essence of what ever it was previously used for will taint the blood. When enough blood has been collected, the miko/priest/whatever-strong-spiritual-person-you-find-laying-around will cast the spell over the blood so that it becomes a soul linking force. Then a small amount of this blood is dabbed on the back of the necks or the participants. Male blood to female neck and so forth. The rest of the blood is then mixed together and burned. When the blood is burned the spell is activated and the marks on the neck will stain so that nothing, not even removing the skin, can alter it. _

_Side effects and complications: When the souls are bound in this manor, there are certain side effects, the severity of which depends greatly on how much the souls intertwined during the ritual. With a varying degree of accuracy the male should be able to sense the thoughts of the female. So that he knows instinctively when she is in danger from outside forces and from inside forces (depression with demons is a nasty thing to behold) He will also be able to sooth any distressing thoughts she might have. The female will also have the power to calm her mate down, but to a lesser degree than the male. _

_Another side effect is longevity. The life span of the strongest will become the life span of both. In the cases of youkai-human relations, when the youkai of the couple passes on, the human will follow shortly because the human soul would by then not be able to survive without its youkai counterpart. If both partners are youkai the surviving mate will not die, and can live on for many more years, although they may feel as though they have an empty spot in their heart._

_If the spell for some reason goes wrong, or one of the mates tries to break it, it can result in the souls of the two melding too much. Some signs of this are the male being able to actually hear the female's thoughts. The mates will not be able to be separated by more than a few feet before experiencing some kind of discomfort, and in extreme circumstances any pain the male feels will be reflected onto the female. It's not known for sure why this happens, but these symptoms should be taken seriously, although none of these are potentially deadly unless they go unheeded. There is no cure if the spell has warped in this manor. But on the bright side, the mates that have these problems often have a closer relationship (of course that could be caused by the fact that they can't get away from each other without feeling pain)_

Really it's just the same crap as what's in the chapter, but I figured I'd add it in just in case someone got confused.

**Enter Kouga **stage right! Watch out Kouga! When you hurt Inu you hurt Kago!

**The nameless squirrel still needs a name!** Shippou you must look long and hard for the perfect title!

**Is big brother watching you?** Inuyasha you'd better get your act together 'cause Fluffy's coming to town!


	12. Somewhere I Belong

_Disclaimer: I can't sing…Just thought you should know that…for a look at past, and more informing disclaimers look at chapters 1-11…_

OH! I got some of the names for Shippou's pet from Pruningshears and Green Bird 2071. thanks guys!

_AN: I'm setting all snugly on my couch in front of the fireplace drinking orange cappuccino…I need to do my English 02 home work…but it's hard ya' know? I mean I'm in that class with a bunch of people who have never written more than a one paged essay in their lives and the professor treats everyone like they don't know how to read…and I feel so out of place… I want to stand up and scream "I've been doing this for years! I've been a critic and a writer since I was 13 and I'm dang good at it! Let me out of this dead end class!" but of course I can't say that…Just because I think I can write and I've done some betaing on the side doesn't make me an expert…but I feel so unchallenged in that class… But that's college for ya… So instead of writing an essay analyzing the tone of Faulkner's a Rose for Emily…I'm writing a new chapter! YAY!_

_Oh and on another note…one of my very good friends is having a baby today! By the time I finish this chapter and post it she'll have already had the baby…but that's not the point…ummm…The point is…Oh, that my thoughts and prayers are with you Amy! I'm glad your baby boy is finally ready to meet us all! God Bless!_

**:RECAP:**

"_Okay, one thing at a time. Yes, I brought you back something good. Yes, Inuyasha and I went away for a bit but no it did not have anything to do with Miroku. And yes you are right; Myoga-jichan doesn't know what he's talking about half the time. Now do you want to see your surprise?" She sat down on the ground beside him and pulled the little cage out from behind her back. Shippou looked at it funny for a moment, wondering why Kagome was giving him a see-through box. Then he noticed movement in the box. He peered closely at it as a fluffy ball of fur appeared from beneath the layer of saw dust it'd been napping under._

"_You can get it out. I got it for you as a pet." Kagome prodded when all he did was stare._

"_Told you we should have gotten a snake." Inuyasha mumbled. Kagome chose to ignore him._

_Shippou gently sat the cage down and pried off the bright blue lid of the box. Then he reached in and pulled the squirrel out by its tail. Kagome was almost afraid that the animal would bite him, but the tiny thing just looked at Shippou with black beady eyes as it hung upside-down next to his face. Shippou blinked. The squirrel blinked back. Suddenly Shippou grasp the small mammal to his chest and beamed a radiant smile up at Kagome._

"_Thank you Okaa-chan! This is the best gift ever! Can I go show him to Kaede-baachan? Oh what am I going to name it? I bet Kirara will help me pick one out! AH! I've got to go show everyone! Thank you so much!" He sprang forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek before rushing off to show everyone the newest member of their group._

"_I told you he'd like the squirrel." Kagome told Inuyasha smugly._

"_Keh. You just wait in a few hours he'll find out how wimpy that thing is and then you'll be sorry you didn't get the snake."_

**:END RECAP:**

Chapter 12: **Somewhere I Belong**

* * *

_I had nothing to say __

* * *

_

It was a glorious day. The type of day only spoken of in fairy tales and other oral folklore. The type of day where the sun shines a pure intense yellow, not one cloud floats in the azure sky and the birds sing themselves horse with happiness. The gentle breeze caresses everything in its path with velvety fingers and the once faded glory of the flowers changes to bright jewel-tones and soft pastels. It was, to put it simply, the perfect day for travel…Or it _would_ have been the perfect day for a journey if traveling with Sesshomaru-sama wasn't so boring sometimes.

Rin's attention drifted away from her beloved lord's back as she contemplated the flowers growing by the path. What she wouldn't give to hop down off of Ah and Un and go play in them! She wanted to make flower chains and make up songs about fairies and mermaids and heavenly maidens…but Rin knew that if she hopped down off the back of the two headed dragon that she risked getting left behind. She had no fear that Sesshomaru-sama wouldn't come back for her, for she knew that he would _eventually_ when his business was taken care of, she just didn't want to be by herself for any long length of time. So she stayed aback the dragon, trying to be a good little girl and not let her restlessness show. She wanted Sesshomaru-sama to be proud of her restraint.

Sesshomaru glanced over his shoulder to make sure his little group of followers were keeping up. He knew that on a day like today his little human charge would be restless, and under normal circumstances he would have let her stop and play for a bit under Jaken's somewhat watchful eye while he himself scouted the trail ahead. But this jorney wasn't like their normal wanderings and Sesshomaru was disinclined to stop long enough for the human to waste some energy.

'_Inuyasha…why is it that you always have to be a thorn in my side?'_ His little half brother had done it again. He'd broken another one of the ancient inu-youkai traditions that had been handed down for untold generations. But Sesshomaru really wasn't surprised by this, after all, Inuyasha had been breaking things since the day he was born. And in all honesty, he'd stopped caring about the disgraceful things his half brother did fifty-two years ago when Inuyasha got himself pinned to a tree. It was only when the runt went and did something that inconvenienced him that Sesshomaru took the time to give a damn.

'_You know nothing of the old ways, little brother, and it makes this Sesshomaru ill to know we have the same bloodline. Why couldn't you have at least done this one thing right?'_ Of all the laws and traditions of the inu-youkai, the rituals of mating were some of the simplest to follow. Yet, somehow, out of ignorance or out right rudeness Inuyasha ended up making a mess of things. And here was the rub! Since Inuyasha hadn't made the journey to the palace in the Western Lands when Sesshomaru was holding court to get his union blessed, Sesshomaru as head of the family and head of the tribe was obligated to go to him! He'd refused to do it when news of Inuyasha's breech in manners had first reached him but one of the elders of the tribe had pointed out that it _was his duty._ And Sesshomaru never turned his back on duty.

"Sesshomaru-sama? Rin is very hungry; can we please stop long enough for me to find some food?" He felt the small tug on his empty sleeve seconds before her childlike voice reached his ears. He spared her a glance before turning his eyes back on the path ahead. If they stopped now that would mean it would be mid-afternoon before they reached the human village his halfling brother called home. Sesshomaru debated just leaving his companions behind so he could finish this horrid errand alone. They were, after all, just slowing him down, but the more he thought about it the more he realized that leaving Rin in Jaken's care would only cause him to lose more time in the long run. Every single time he left the little girl-child in the care of the toad youkai he ended up having to rescue her from the jaws of death. Jaken obviously couldn't be trusted with this task ever again, but some things couldn't be helped. When they arrived at Inuyasha's village he'd have to leave Rin and Jaken outside while he went in to confront his half brother. He looked back down at the little girl who was waiting patiently by his side for his answer…and relented. What he had to say to his rude little brother wouldn't change with time, he'd stop and let the human play before continuing on toward his destination. Maybe that way she'd be too tired to play any tricks on his little toad retainer.

* * *

Kagome was _trying_ to enjoy the cloudless sky that only the absence of pollution could produce. Here in ancient Japan the weather seemed to always be perfect even when it was raining, this was one of the many reasons she cherished her time here with all her heart. But at the moment it was quit impossible to _enjoy anything_ with Inuyasha pacing around the hillside, growling at every blade of grass that _dared_ to move while he was in such an agitated state.

She'd suggested coming out here to the fallow fields this morning when it was made clear that Inuyasha wasn't fit for human company today. Before being bound to her, he'd been able to get away from the group for a little while whenever he'd felt restless and agitated. Now of course that couldn't happen, and it showed. Inuyasha woke up in such a nasty mood this morning that even the offer of hot roman noodles couldn't fix. He'd 'accidentally' broken some of Kaede's pottery, threatened to rip Miroku a new one at least five times, and almost had Shippou in tears…and breakfast hadn't even been ready yet. So Kagome had taken pity on him (and everyone else within striking range) and decided that going some place where Inuyasha wouldn't be constantly surrounded by people would be a good thing.

So here they were, almost half a mile from the village, well away from anything that could possible get on the hanyou's nerves, yet he still refused to calm down. His behavior was beginning to make her nervous, which only made his agitation worse.

'_You could try to help him calm down. Myoga-jichan said that you'd have the power to do so now that you're…you know. Maybe then he'd at least calm down enough to tell you what's wrong._

_But I don't even **know** how to go about doing that! What do I do, think happy thoughts at him? Somehow I doubt that will work. _

_I bet if you concentrated hard enough you'd be able to find the link between your souls again. This time though instead of trying to cut it apart, you could use it to ferry calming emotions toward him._

_Kinda like email? Wait! Am I talking to myself again? I'm going crazy and it's his entire fault! I was mostly sane before I married him and now look at me, carrying on full conversations with the voice in my head. Oh Kami-sama did I just admit that I was married to him? Can I actually be accepting it? But it's not right, I can't get used to this because we're going to have to find away to save Kikyou…. If I let myself hope that Inuyasha's finally mine and then have to give him up for her sake my heart will shatter—'_

Her thoughts were interrupted by an especially loud growl of warning from Inuyasha. Kagome then realized that her lap was practically covered in flower stems and petals.

Her fingers were stained a sickly pale yellow. There was dirt under her finger-nails.

In her own nervousness she'd been ripping the little plants out of the ground and picking them to pieces without knowing it. She'd destroyed all the spring blossoms within arms reach. A sudden sadness overwhelmed her at the sight of the bruised petals lying withered in her lap. Inuyasha jerked to a halt and looked at her with a frown of absentminded concern.

"Oi, are you okay?" He didn't bother to come closer to her, just stood were his pacing had stopped as if he had more important things to do besides stop and check on her.

"I'm fine." Kagome didn't look at him at all. She just brushed the dying flowers from her lap with unsteady hands. She wasn't about to admit to feeling guilty over killing the flowers, because then he'd either try to dig deeper into what was really wrong with her, or he'd just ignore her and go back to growling and pacing.

She didn't know which one would be worse.

She tried unsuccessfully to clean her hands off on the denim jeans she was wearing, but had no luck. She couldn't help but wonder if Kikyou's fingers had ever been stained like this. Surly they had been, since herbs were needed for healing potions and other spells and Kagome knew from first hand experience with Kaede that herbs had a tendency to dye the figures strange colors.

But had the other miko's hands ever been stained with the yellow blood of the flowers like this?

Kagome shook her head to clear away the morose thoughts that cluttered her mind. This was not the time to get depresses over something she couldn't change. Now was the time to calm down her presto mate before he paced a bigger hole in the ground.

'_Okay, let's see…find the link, find the link…' _Kagome closed her eyes and concentrated inward to find the place where her soul was meshed with Inuyasha's. After a minute of searching she 'bumped' into something that 'felt' like Inuyasha. '_AH! Found it! If I just concentrate on calming him down…at least I think that's what I should do…'_ Kagome gave the link a gentle nudge and she was almost overwhelmed by the negative emotions that poured into her. Stiffening her shoulders she began to clear her mind of all thoughts save one thing; soothing Inuyasha. She found a place inside herself that was absolutely still and focused on making that tiny place grow until is spilt over their link. She was so caught up in producing an ocean of peace for her hanyou to drown in she never noticed when he stopped pacing.

"You can stop doing that now. I don't appreciate you playing with my emotions like that." But his voice wasn't angry; in fact it was very relaxed. She opened her eyes just in time to see him flop down on the ground beside her with a gusty sigh. Kagome was happy to see that some of the worry lines between his eyes were fading.

"Want to tell me about it?" She asked quietly, reaching out to scratch gently where his white ears met the top of his head. The last of his worry lines disappeared completely with her actions and he let out another sigh.

"Sesshomaru is coming soon, and tomorrow night is the new moon." Inuyasha felt some of his agitation bubble back up. This was not the time for his half brother to show up and cause trouble, not when all his injuries mirrored on Kagome. Not when he'd soon be a weak human for a nigh. There was no way for him to fight like that! He was growling again before he even realized it.

"Come on, don't start growling and pacing again, I don't think my nerves can take it. Why does it bother you so that Sesshomaru might show up, I can understand being anxious about the new moon, but your brother's only coming to bliss our…what ever we have?" She couldn't quite bring herself to say marriage out loud. Kagome really didn't understand why this was bothering him so much. The last time the brothers had met they hadn't even bothered to exchange blows, just a few insults. Why was he so up tight about it now?

"It bothers me, bitch, and it should bother you! If Sesshomaru wants to fight I'll have to run, because I can't risk getting hurt when all my injuries fucking show up on you! You'll get hurt! How am I fucking supposed to protect you from all the bad guys if I can't even fight! Tell me how!" Kagome was taken aback by his words. She'd never thought about it, but Inuyasha hardly ever came out of a fight without injuries of some kind.

He didn't wait for her to answer his questions before continuing his tirade, "And we have no idea how this spell is going to react to my human night! It could very well get even more fucked up than it is! And there's nothing I can do to keep you safe….I just have to seat back and watch while you continually get hurt." Toward the end of his rant Inuyasha's voice lost its growl and he hung his head. Kagome's heart went out to him. She was touched that he was worried about her like this. Kagome reached over and brushed a strand of soft white hair out of his face. His eyes rose to meet hers and Kagome almost felt like crying when she saw just how worried and helpless he felt reflecting in his eyes. Without much thought she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. Inuyasha immediately hugged her back, going a step further and pulling her into his lap. He tucked her in close to his body even though the day was pleasantly warm and there was no need to protect her from the cold.

"Inuyasha, don't worry about it, okay? If Myoga's right Sesshomaru's only coming to see what kind of mate you picked. I don't think there'll be any fighting if the two of you can keep your tempers in check. And as for the new moon, we'll cross that bridge and deal with those problems when they come." Kagome rested her head against his chest and wondered absently why she'd ever wanted him to stop holding her like this. Inuyasha mulled over what she said, but he was too distracted by the feel of her in his arms to really concentrate.

"Keh, we'll see."

"Why can't we just enjoy the day for right now? You can worry about that stuff when the sun isn't shining so brightly." She poked him in the ribs gently before squirming a little to let him know she wanted off his lap. Inuyasha ignored the squirming and caught her finger before it could do much damage to his ribs. On impulse he brought the digit to his lips and kissed it. Kagome immediately stilled. Her blue orbs met his and the whole world seemed to fade away. There was only the two of them; no spells, no ex-girlfriends, no brothers, no new moons, no worries. Just them and their feelings.

Kagome licked her suddenly dry lips and Inuyasha's eyes were drawn downward. He wondered if they'd feel as soft as they looked, or if she'd taste anything like she smelled. He couldn't really remember noticing stuff like that the first time they'd kissed years ago, when Kagome was trying to tame his youkai blood, but he wanted…no _needed_ to know now. He reached up with a light touch and maneuvered her chin so that he'd be able to kiss her. Kagome's eyes drifted shut and her breathing turned shallow. He could hear her heart beating to the same fast rhythm his was pounding out against the walls of his chest and he leaned in closer. His lips brushed hers slightly, hesitant, giving her plenty of time to pull away if this wasn't what she wanted. Kagome leaned in closer, willing him to do more than just brush his lips against hers this time. Inuyasha was happy to do just that but before he could crush his lips to hers and ravage her mouth like he wanted, Kagome jerked away. He growled softly in his throat and reached to pull her back but she shook her head.

"I..I feel shards coming this way fast!" Inuyasha swore, realizing that he'd let his guard down.

"What direction—"He started to ask her, caught in the action of rising to his feet when he was interrupted from behind.

"Right here ya' piece of dog shit! Now what are you doing with my woman?" Kagome wanted to beat her head against something really hard. Of all the times for Kouga to show up, this one had to be the worst.

* * *

Shippou stared into the black beady eyes of his new pet and waited. The squirrel stared right back as if to say 'I've played this game before and there's no way you're going to make me blink first.'

Shippou frowned then blinked.

"AH! You did it again! I can't believe I was beat by a nameless squirrel! Hey, that reminds me…what do you want to be called?" He rested his elbows on his knees and cocked his head to the side. The squirrel just stretched a little and flexed its claws before hoping up on Shippou's shoulder and making itself comfortable.

"Okay, I see you're not going to be any help…lets see, I could call you Rihu?" No response.

"Cam-chan?"

"…"

"Meromaru?"

"…"

"Kenji?" Shippou could have sworn the squirrel snorted in disgust. "Well, okay I didn't much like that name either." Then another thought hit him, maybe his squirrel didn't like the names because they were all boy names…maybe his pet was a girl?

"Hey, are you a boy squirrel or a girl squirrel?" The squirrel on his shoulder gave a little snore and snuggled closer to his neck. Shippou sighed, the only complaint he had with his pet was its short attention span. He lay down on his back in the short grass and shifted the squirrel to his chest. Shippou knew that names were very important things, and he wanted his new pet to have the best name in the world, but he was having a hard time coming up with just the right one. Just then two of the young married village women walked by. One was obviously ready to give birth very soon. He was ready to just ignore them, when something in their conversation caught his attention.

"_So Keriko-chan, have you decided what you're going to name the little one when it gets here?"_

"_Junto and I can't agree on the right name so we're going to ask Kaede-sama to name our baby for us. She is a wise woman and we know her choice will be true." _

Shippou tuned the rest of their conversation out. There was the solution to his problem! It was so simple he wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. After all he lived with the most important spiritual figure in the village; why not ask her for help in naming his pet?

"Okay, squirrel it's time we find Kaede and get you a name that fits!" He stood up and pushed the squirrel back up to his shoulder. The little thing gave a muffled humph, as if to say 'Would you _please_ find a place I can sleep and then _leave_ me there?' Shippou just rolled his eyes.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you didn't even want a name! Remember I'm doing this all for you!" The squirrel was clearly unimpressed.

* * *

For a breath in time everything was still, then Inuyasha shoved Kagome behind him and took up a defensive stance. His instincts were screaming at him to rip the wolf apart for calling Kagome his, but Inuyasha managed to clamp down on his more homicidal urges. Kagome tried to push passed him but he growled a warning at her.

"What do you want bastard?" Kouga tried to use his enhanced speed to get behind Inuyasha to see Kagome but Inuyasha kept himself between the wolf and the miko.

"Stop coming between us dog shit! I've heard some damn strange rumors about you two lately and I'm here to prove them wrong! There is no was Kagome would mate with a weakling like you!" He took a swipe at Inuyasha, intending to knock him out of the way, but Inuyasha grabbed Kagome and jumped back.

"Kouga-kun! If you'd just calm down for a moment I can explain!" Kagome tried to get around Inuyasha so that she could see Kouga, but Inuyasha kept pushing her back. Kouga stopped coming after the couple but his stance still told how angry he was.

"What's happened here, Kagome? I don't understand, I thought you loved me? Then I get here and all I can smell is his stench tainting yours. You were mine!" His voice shook, but Kagome couldn't tell if it was from angry or from some other emotion.

"Keh, she was never yours at all stupid." Inuyasha smirked at his one time rival. One good thing to come out of this mess, Kouga wouldn't be able to take Kagome away from him, ever. Kouga bristled at his words, ready to try an attack again, but Kagome managed to push passed Inuyasha so that she could face the wolf youkai.

"Inuyasha you're not helping." She scolded him before turning sympatric eyes toward Kouga. "I know it's hard to accept right now, but you have to let me explain it without attacking Inuyasha."

"Why? Did he do something to you?"

"I didn't do anything to her!"

"Then **_why_** in the hell does she smell like she'd mated to you!"

"_BECAUSE SHE **IS!"**_ Kagome wanted to hide her face in her hands as the blush crept up her cheeks but found that she couldn't. The situation was deteriorating too fast for her to do anything but watch in embarrassed horror.

"_**I knew it! **You **forced **yourself on her!"_ Inuyasha saw red when Kouga uttered those words. The wolf prince never saw the hanyou coming before he found himself slammed to the ground. Kouga looked up into the face of the seething Inuyasha and spat out some blood from his busted lip.

"I'm going to make you sorry you did that, you bastard." His voice and eyes told Kagome just how serious Kouga was, and she began to think that this was going to be a much different fight than normal. Without thought she pushed herself between the two males, trying to stop the violence before it began, fearing down deep that she was already too late to stop the impending blood shed.

"He didn't force me to do anything Kouga—"

"Kagome, I want you to go as far as you can and stay there. I'm going to teach this fucking moron a lesson." His tone was quiet and for a moment Kagome had an overwhelming fear that his youkai blood was going to take over, but she saw the death grip he had on the hilt of Tetsusaiga. She still worried that Kouga wouldn't come out of this alive. She hadn't seen Inuyasha this mad in a long time. The sound of his knuckles popping reminded her that she was still standing between two youkai who were spoiling for a fight.

"Inuyasha I can't let you do this! I won't let you kill each other over a simple misunderstanding!" She cried, turning her back on Kouga so that she could face Inuyasha fully.

"This isn't a _simple _**misunderstanding** Kagome! He thinks I _forced_ **_myself_** on you! He wants to **_take you away_** from **me**!" Inuyasha reached out grasp her upper arms. He shook her a bit, not enough to hurt her, but enough to show her that he would not argue with her over this. Seeing that Inuyasha was distracted, Kouga used the moment his rival looked down at Kagome to his advantage. Too late Inuyasha realized what was happening, he only had time to push Kagome to the side and raise a sloppy block that did nothing to ward off Kouga's kick.

From the ground a few feet off, Kagome grabbed her midsection and tried not to groan with pain. Inuyasha quickly recovered from the blow, now angrier because Kouga had hurt Kagome, even if it was unintentional.

"Kagome, are you alright? Can you walk?" He asked, this time not making the mistake of taking his eyes off his opponent, even though all his instincts told him to go to his downed mate.

"I…I'm fine…just please don't fight." Her words were no louder than a whisper as she tried to drawn in a breath around the pain.

"See what you did! You hurt her!" Kouga didn't seem to realize that it was his fault in the first place that Inuyasha had had to push Kagome away. "You're not fit to be her mate!" He came at Inuyasha again, but the hanyou managed to knock him away with a well placed blow to the chest.

"I'm not the one who _hurt_ **her**! _She_ can **_fucking feel my pain_**! **YOU. HURT. HER."**

And as abruptly as it began the fighting stopped.

"What do you mean she can feel your pain?" Kouga asked uncertainly, his fist caught right before he pounded Inuyasha in the face.

"It's a side effect of the spell." Kagome winced as she managed to pull herself to her feet. Inuyasha rushed to her side and helped her remain upright. Kouga stayed where he was standing hand still raised uncertainly. "If you'd had let me explain it all in the first place with out resorting to violence this whole mess could have been avoided." Kouga couldn't look her in the eye. Inuyasha ignored the wolf totally as he sat down on the ground and started to check Kagome over for injuries. She blushed when he lifted her top to see how badly her ribs were bruised and tried to push his hands away.

"Inuyasha, I said I was okay! Could you please not do this now?" In her embarrassment she was all too aware of Kouga standing a few feet away. Inuyasha didn't care that he was embarrassing her, of course. If anything his movements became that much more deliberate. If he couldn't prove that Kagome was his by beating the hell out of Kouga, he would prove it in other ways. His touch clearly screamed to Kouga that Kagome belonged to him and him alone. It was a plus that she was cute when she blushed.

'_How much of this should I tell him? Should I let him think that it was a mutual choice for us to become married or should I tell him that neither of us had a choice? Of course that's going to be hard to do if Inuyasha keeps poking around on me like he as a right to be touching me.'_

"Keh, of course I have the right to touch you! It's my job to take care of you, so stop squirming around so damn much. And don't tell Kouga about the spell, it's none of his fucking business how we came to be bonded." His fingers probed an especially tender spot, but Kagome didn't really notice. Something about what Inuyasha's words bothered her.

He'd responded to things she hadn't voiced aloud. Again.

Now that she thought about it, he'd been doing that a lot lately. Kagome remembered all those times were she'd thought she'd accidentally spoken her thoughts aloud. She remembered the conversation they'd had with Kaede about the way the spell was changing and then their conversation yesterday with Myoga. She came to one startling conclusion.

Inuyasha could hear her thoughts, and he'd been keeping it a secret from her!

'_I can't believe you would keep something so big from me! You've been willfully invading my privacy! Did you think I'd never figure it out? Do you really think I'm that stupid?' _Kagome expected to feel her eyes well up with tears, but they didn't. Instead she was seething with rage. Inuyasha's eyes slowly rose from where he'd been inspecting one of her old bruises and his ears flattened to the top of his head.

Oh, Kami-sama, he was in trouble now.

* * *

Shippou sat dejectedly in the door way of Kaede's hut and fed his _still_ nameless squirrel an acorn from his pocket. He'd looked every where for the village miko but it seems he was always one step behind her… He'd went to the temple, to the springs, to the herb fields, to the rice fields, to a house where a little girl was sick with a cold, and finally back here. And the message was always the same: "Kaede-sama was just here! If you hurry I bet you could find her."

But of course no matter how fast he ran he always missed her by a few moments.

That was probably due to the fact that all the different villagers he'd met today had a lot of free advice to give. They always wanted to know _why_ he was looking for the old miko. Shippou felt it would be impolite to not answer their questions so he would tell them about the pet squirrel his okaa-chan had gotten him and about how it still needed a name. Of course they all wanted to see his pet, and after looking it over they always told him what _they_ would name it if it was theirs.

Yeah, listening to them all talk was probably what kept him from finding Kaede-baachan, but it couldn't be helped now. He thought about all the names he'd been given today. One of the older teenaged boys who helped clean the shrine told him that his squirrel looked like a Mamenosuke but the women washing clothes at the spring all agreed that the little thing looked more like a Babomaru to them. The two children helping their mothers to gather up herbs got into a fight over which name was better; Yoshi or Itokuzu. When Shippou left they were still beating the crap out of each other. One of the farmers in the rice fields suggested naming the squirrel Fujita after himself, but another said that plain old Risu seemed fine to him. The little girl sick with the cold suggested he name it Seiji because he was a hero in her favorite fairy tale…at least that's what Shippou thought she'd said. Her cold and lisps made it rather hard to understand what she was saying.

"Hey, why so glum Shippou? Is it because you can't find Kagome-sama?" Miroku's voice broke him out of his thoughts and Shippou glanced up.

"No, I haven't been looking for Okaa-chan. Inuyasha was in a bad mood when they left this morning and he said that my squirrel was stupid. I don't want to see him right now." Shippou patted his pet on the head to reassure it that he didn't think it was stupid at all. No, his nameless pet was _much better _than a slime snake. Miroku took a seat by the down-hearted kitsune and decided to find out what was bothering him. After all, if he helped the child, maybe Shippou would be willing help him find his beloved Sango. She seemed to be avoiding him for some reason.

"If you're not looking for your mother then who are you looking for? I bet I can help."

"I was looking for Kaede-baachan so that she could help me find a name for my squirrel, and cause she could probably tell me if it's a boy or a girl. But every time I get someplace she's supposed to be she's not there and everyone tells me to go look somewhere else! Then they tell me what they would name my squirrel if it belonged to them! By the time I get _away_ from them she's not where she's _supposed_ to be! She's never there! And now I'm tired and hungry, cause I missed lunch, and my squirrel still doesn't have a name!" He gulped in a deep breath at the end of his rant and waited for Miroku to tell him where he'd last seen Kaede just like everyone else.

"Oh, sorry but I haven't seen her either. Have you seen Sango-sama in all your travels today?" Shippou nearly fell over at the monks words. He should have known Miroku wouldn't be any help.

"Last I saw she and Kirara were headed into the forest to train. If you hurry you'll be able to catch her." He replied in a dull voice.

"Thanks!" Miroku stood to leave but before he walked away he looked at Shippou thoughtfully, "You said some of the villagers suggested names to you? If you're too tired to hunt for Kaede-sama why not just use all of the names? That way when you give him a nick name you have plenty to pick from." The monk waved to the kit and started off in the direction of the forest already lost in day dreams about his beloved Sango and her squeezable backside.

Shippou thought about what Miroku had said for a moment before picking his squirrel up by the tail like he'd done the first time they'd met.

"Hmmm…Mamenosuke Babomaru Yoshi Itokuzu Hibiki Fujita Seiji no Risu…that has a nice ring to it don't ya' think? Long, but nice. How about it?" the squirrel blinked and Shippou took that as a sign that it liked its new name.

"For short I'll call you…umm…Suke?"

"…"

"Kuzu?"

"…"

"Yos?"

"…"

"Please not this again!" It looked like now Shippou now had another problem, what nick name to give Mamenosuke Babomaru Yoshi Itokuzu Hibiki Fujita Seiji no Risu.

* * *

"Kagome, I can explain—"

"I can't _believe_ that you would do something so insensitive! No, wait, yes I can believe it! It's just like to you keep things from me the whole time you're **_threatening_** _to tie me to a tree_ if I didn't tell you everything!"

"He threatened to _tie _you to a tree? Can someone please tell me what's going on here?" Kouga was confused. First he found out that his woman mated a lousy hanyou while he wasn't looking, then when he was about to beat the crap out of said hanyou he found out that he couldn't because every injury inflicted on Inuyasha mirrored on Kagome. And then about the time it looked like some one was going to explain everything to him, Kagome started yelling at Inuyasha for invading her privacy, not that Kouga minded Kagome getting mad at Inuyasha, but he'd be much happier if he knew _why! _

"It's not like I did it on **purpose**! By the time I realized what was happening I was afraid if I said anything you'd get mad! _And **HA**! It looks like I was **right**_!" Inuyasha pointed his finger at her. Both of them continued to ignore Kouga, much to his agitation.

"I wouldn't be getting _mad_ if you'd have just told _me_! Kami-sama, you can be so dense!" Kagome was struggling with the urge to just strangle Inuyasha and put them both out of their misery.

"I heard that! I'd like to see you _try_ to strangle me!" He leaned in close enough for their noses to touch, his eyes daring her to make a move. Kagome lunged at him, too angry to care that she didn't have a prayer at actually getting her hands around his neck. Inuyasha caught her by the shoulders and held her back. This only frustrated Kagome more.

"LET ME GO!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Not until you calm down! I never told you because I didn't want you upset while you were still recovering!"

"Try another one Inuyasha! **And.** **Let. Me.** **Go**."

"NO!" Somehow they ended up in each others faces again, yelling loud enough for people in the village to hear them.

"Would some one fucking tell me what's going on before I _strangle both of you?_"

"They are struggling for dominance in their relationship." Kouga jumped back, noticing for the first time that Inuyasha's older brother was standing beside him. Inuyasha quickly forgot how mad he was at Kagome and took up a protective stance in front of her.

"How long have you been there, Sesshomaru?" He growled out. Fighting with Kagome could wait; right now he had to make sure his brother didn't do anything that would hurt her.

"You can relax little brother, this Sesshomaru would never stoop so low as to go after your mate. "

"Like I can believe anything you say!" Sesshomaru chose to ignore Inuyasha's comment. Instead he turned to Kouga and fixed his stoic gaze on the wolf prince.

"This is a family matter, and as such it will be kept between members of the inu-youkai clan only. Your presence is no longer wanted." Kouga was about to argue, but thought better of it. If Inuyasha and Sesshomaru got it in their heads to attack him at the same time he'd never survive.

"I'll go for now, but I'll be back dog shit! You're going to have a lot of explaining to do then!" Sesshomaru watched as the whirlwind of dust that was Kouga departed, then he turned back to his brother.

"If you two are quite done with your squabbling now we can focus on the reason I am here." He as a little disappointed to see that Inuyasha still hadn't relaxed, although he didn't show it.

"We know why you're here Sesshomaru, Myoga-jichan told us you'd be coming." His slight disappointment was replaced by amusement when his brother's mate decided she no longer needed his protection and tried to push past him to stand before Sesshomaru.

'_Ah, so your little miko is still causing you problems like I remembered. If anything I approve of her just because she'll bother you endlessly for the rest of your days.'_

"Then you know I'm here to bliss your union if I find that you are strong enough to be my halfling brother's mate. Although, I can not imagine anyone being too weak to be with him considering he is only half demon."

"Oi! I aught to rip—"

"Inuyasha! What did I say about keeping your temper?" Kagome snapped. Inuyasha was in the middle of drawing his sword and managed to look sheepish and defiant all at once.

"But he—"

"You know, if you don't gain the dominant position early in the relationship, your female will never learn to obey." The inu-youkai lord told his little brother when he looked like he was going to back down and sheath the Tetsusaiga. Now it was Kagome's turn to be insulted…

"Hey!"

…and Inuyasha's turn to remind her to keep her temper. Sesshomaru waited as patiently as he could for them to stop fighting again. Finally he just had to interrupt.

"It is this Sesshomaru's opinion that even though your mate is a human, and a miko on top of that, she seems strong enough to honor our clan. Next time, Inuyasha, try to at least attempt to honor the inu-youkai traditions. I know you're only a hanyou, but even you can do something right once in life. I do not want to have to make this journey again when your first pup is born. Do you understand?" He sent his half-brother one last scathing glare before turning around to leave. Rin had been in Jaken's care too long as it was. Sesshomaru wondered what peril he's need to save her from this time.

"What do ya' mean, first pup?" Inuyasha growled at his departing back. Sesshomaru looked back at him and raised an eye brow.

"Do not expect me to tell you what happens when a male and female come together Inuyasha. I refuse."

"What…no! You damn well know that's **_NOT_** what I meant!"

"Ask your worthless little servant if you truly have no clue. I have no time to enlighten you at this moment. I have to attend to my responsibilities in the Western Lands." With those words he started walking away again.

"Oi, aren't you going to at least fight with me?" Inuyasha called, confused a bit by his brother's strange attitude.

"Our only fights were over the sword our father left you and the weakness in your blood. Since I no longer need your sword, and I can do nothing about the blood in your veins, this Sesshomaru doesn't see the need to fight you any more. I tire of all our squabbles, one of us has to be the mature son and let the past go. Since I doubt that it will be you…" He left the rest of the sentence hanging and turned to go again for the third time just as a green toad youkai burst onto the scene.

"Sesshomaru-sama! I can't find Rin!"

* * *

Shippou walked down the path leading out of the village. He scuffed his feet through the dirt and wandered around aimlessly. His squirrel perched on his shoulder and looked at the world with curious beady black eyes. Shippou still didn't know how to cut its very lengthy name short.

"I can't just call you Mamenosuke Babomaru Yoshi Itokuzu Hibiki Fujita Seiji no Risu every time I want you to come to me!" The squirrel blinked in agreement.

"Are you talking to yourself?" A voice coming from seemingly nowhere made Shippou jump.

"Who's there?" He pulled out his top, ready to defend himself and his pet to the death if need be. A giggle came from some bushes next to the path and Shippou shot them a suspicious look. A hand reached out of the foliage and grabbed him by his shirt. Before he could protest, he was pulled into the thick leaves.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing!" He yelled trying to back away from the scary little girl who had pulled him into her hiding place.

"Shhh," She whispered, "I'm hiding from Jaken-sama." She giggled again and Shippou took the time to really look at this scary human child. She looked really familiar to him.

"And Sesshomaru-sama says that one should never curse. He says curse words remind him of his disgraceful brother." It dawned on him where he'd seen this little girl. She was Sesshomaru's ward. That meant that Inuyasha's full youkai brother was in the area. Suddenly Shippou was happy to be hiding in the bushes, until he remembered that where this little girl was, the inu-youkai lord wouldn't be far behind.

"I…ummm…really have to go now." He tried again to back out of the bushes.

"RIN! Why did you leave me to watch after this disgusting human female, Sesshomaru-sama? I could have gone with you when you confronted your brother. You could need me right now, and instead of coming to your aid I'm trying to find that evil child. RIN! COME OUT THIS INSTANT!" The voice of Jaken sounded shrill and near. Rin looked up at Shippou with pleading eyes.

"If you leave now, he'll find me, and then the game will be over. Can't you stay a bit longer, please?" Shippou felt himself weaken when Babomaru Yoshi Itokuzu Hibiki Fujita Seiji no Risu hopped down off his shoulder and curiously peeped at the girl. She squealed and scooped it up before cuddling the squirrel close to her face.

"OH, she's soooooo cute! What's her name?" Shippou was a bit miffed that Rin automatically assumed that his squirrel was a girl.

"**HIS** name is Babomaru Yoshi Itokuzu Hibiki Fujita Seiji no Risu." He puffed out his chest proudly and dared her to say anything about the long title the small squirrel carried. Rin blinked, looked at Shippou, blinked again and looked at the squirrel.

"Her name is longer than she is, don't you think. Why don't you shorten it or something?" She reached up and pulled the ribbon out of her hair and began to tie it around the compliant squirrel's neck. Shippou was highly offended by her refusal to refer to his squirrel by the proper gender. He swatted the ribbon away and shoved his pet back onto his shoulder.

"I was trying to find a shorter name for **him **when _you dragged me in here_!" Rin wondered to herself why this little fox boy was so cranky. It couldn't have been anything she'd done.

"I'll help you find a name for **her**," Rin told him with a nod, "Since you're helping me play my trick on Jaken, it's the least I can do. Sesshomaru-sama says that I should always try to be pleasant, unless I'm dealing with a peasant, or a lower being. And I don't think you're a lower being, are you?" She pushed her face close to his, as if by getting an in-depth look at him she'd be able to answer her question for herself.

"Of course I'm not a lower being! I'm a kitsune! Other youkai fear me and tremble when I speak!" He folded his arms across his chest doing his best smug-Inuyasha impression.

"Whatever you say," But she kind of looked doubtful.

"Who says I want your help?" This girl was **_really_ **beginning to get on his nerves.

"Of course you need my help silly. Now why don't you call **her** Fuji?"

"**He** doesn't like that name."

"Babo?"

"Are you kidding, that's stupid. My squirrel is extraordinary, and savage, and death deifying, and super…and savage." Shippou balled his fist up and a fire came to his eyes. Rin leaned away from him and then glanced at the tiny animal that was sleeping on the boy's shoulder.

"**She **doesn't look like that kinda squirrel to me." A little vein popped out on Shippou's forehead. He reminded himself that this girl was younger than him and obviously stupid so he had to be patient.

"Are you going to help me or not?"

"Ummm…,"Rin worried her lip for a moment. It looked like she was having some kind of internal debate before she made up her mind, "Call him Fluffy."

Shippou's frowned, her suggestions just kept getting worse and worse.

"That's worse than Babo. Where did you come with this stuff?" He really didn't mean it to come out as harsh as it did, and the moment the first sparkle of tears appeared in her eyes he wished he could take it back.

"Fluffy is a very good name I'll have you know! That's what I call Sesshomaru-sama when no ones around to hear me! Not even Ah and Un know I call him that! It's the only other name I know that's any good." She sniffed pitifully at the end of her rant and Shippou felt even worse.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Fluffy is a great name! I'll call him Fluffy, I promise! I'll just make it sound tough so no one will pick on him." He rushed to assure her.

"Really?" Suddenly her tears were gone and she was smiling again. Shippou had a sneaking suspicion that he'd just been had, but he didn't say anything for fear making her cry again.

"I'll call him Fluffy the extraordinary super savage death deifying youkai squirrel for short. How does that sound?"

"But that's just as long as her other name…Why not just call her Mame-chan or something." At her words the squirrel sat up and gave a happy mew. Shippou was so happy that his pet had finally responded to a name that he didn't care who it had come from.

"I think he likes it. Mame-chan it is!" He smiled over at the little girl and just like that they were the best of friends.

"Oh, I forgot to ask what your name is. It's not as long as your squirrel's is it? Cause if it is I won't remember it."

Shippou sweat dropped.

* * *

TBC

AN: Thank you all for the lovely support you gave me in my hour of need. I would have gotten this out yesterday, but I burned my right palm pretty badly and had trouble typing. But that's the price you pay when you grab the handle of a pan that's just come out of the oven.

Yes, stupid I know…

Anyway, I want to give a special thanks to the following people.

_Lemmingsplease_

_Tessenchan_

_Inuyasha-loves-Kagome_

_Lavender Valentine_

_Galalorton _

_Elyssalyn_

_Thaelia15_

_Lachwen_

_Silver Eyes Bright_

_Inu-chan 613_

_Blah39_

_Rona_

_Akita_ _Inu_

_Kakashi_

_Haru_

The encouraging words you gave me really helped write this chapter. I'm also glad that you liked the game. When I saw how many times Kago ended up in Inu's lap I just had to make up a drinking game.

**Inu** has a human night! You'd better go back to Kago's time if you want any sleep tonight!

**Kago** goes to the doctor! Better go Inu and keep those evil docs at bay!

**Houjo** decides to ask Kago out again, Inuyasha don't kill the poor boy!

And what's this? **Fluff in the next chapter**?

Or will there be **trouble in paradise**?

Find out next time on TWTHE!


	13. Thinking Over

_Disclaimer: I have a stomach virus right now, so I guess you could say that I "own" that. But that's all I have…and now that I think about it, I'm willing to give it away, so if anyone wants to trade the rights to Inuyasha for these yucky germs I'm game ()…for a look at past, and more informing disclaimers look at chapters 1-12…_

_AN: I think Sessho's just a little bit ooc in this first part, but I couldn't resist. Forgive me._

**:RECAP:**

"_Hey!"_

…_and Inuyasha's turn to remind her to keep her temper. Sesshomaru waited as patiently as he could for them to stop fighting again. Finally he just had to interrupt._

"_It is this Sesshomaru's opinion that even though your mate is a human, and a miko on top of that, she seems strong enough to honor our clan. Next time, Inuyasha, try to at least attempt to honor the inu-youkai traditions. I know you're only a hanyou, but even you can do something right once in life. I do not want to have to have this journey again when your first pup is born. Do you understand?" He sent his half-brother one last scathing glare before turning around to leave. Rin had been in Jaken's care too long as it was. Sesshomaru wondered what peril he's need to save her from this time._

"_What do ya' mean, first pup?" Inuyasha growled at his departing back. Sesshomaru looked back at him and raised an eye brow._

"_Do not expect me to tell you what happens when a male and female come together Inuyasha. I refuse."_

"_What…no! You damn well know that's **NOT** what I meant!"_

"_Ask your worthless little servant if you truly have no clue. I have no time to enlighten you at this moment. I have to attend to my responsibilities in the Western Lands." With those words he started walking away again._

"_Oi, aren't you going to at least fight with me?" Inuyasha called, confused a bit by his brother's strange attitude._

"_Our only fights were over the sword our father left you and the weakness in your blood. Since I no longer need your sword, and I can do nothing about the blood in your veins, this Sesshomaru doesn't see the need to fight you any more. I tire of all our squabbles, one of us has to be the mature son and let the past go. Since I doubt that it will be you…" He left the rest of the sentence hanging and turned to go again for the third time just as a green toad youkai burst onto the scene. _

"_Sesshomaru-sama! I can't find Rin!"_

**:END RECAP:**

Chapter 13: **Thinking Over**

* * *

_There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose_

* * *

What had once been the perfect fairy tale day was now anything but. The sky was still clear, the air was still fresh, and the birds were still singing, but the atmosphere on the knoll top where they all stood had long ago turned sour. Although Kagome couldn't be sure, because surly it was impossible for such a thing to happen, she thought she saw the ever-stoic Sesshomaru's left eyebrow give a funny twitch at the little toad youkai's words. She blinked and whatever emotion she'd thought she saw disappeared from his face.

"This Sesshomaru grows tired of your incompetence Jaken." The groveling green servant was pelted in the head with a rock that seemingly came out of no where. Kagome inched closer Inuyasha, not feeling quite safe being between the youkai lord and his servant. Inuyasha didn't acknowledge her presence by looking at her, but he did reach over and pull her closer to his side.

"Sesshomaru-sama! I am very sorry! But that little human refuses to listen to a word I say! She plays vile tricks on your servant when you're not around to reprimand her for her foolishness!" Inuyasha looked at Kagome to see if she understood what was going on, but she could only shrug.

'_Do you remember the little human girl that's been following Sesshomaru around for the last few years? I think her name is Rin…Anyway, I think she's gone missing and your brother doesn't seem very happy about it.'_ Kagome was a bit bothered by how naturally she used Inuyasha's power to hear her thoughts to communicate with the hanyou. She was supposed to be finding a way to lock him _out_ of her mind, not inviting him to make himself at home reading her thoughts. Inuyasha tightened his grip on her waist and growled low enough that only she could hear him. She looked up at him and his eyes told her he'd heard her most resent thoughts and wasn't happy about her plan to lock him out.

"_It's my mind, I don't have to let you in…erg…Damn I did it again.'_ Inuyasha could barely hold back the smirk that threatened to take over his mouth. Kagome choose to ignore his twitching mouth, but she poked him in his side anyway, before turning her attention back to the two youkai in front of them.

"Jaken go find Ah and Un and stay with them. I will be there shortly." Sesshomaru quailed the desire to hit his servant with more rocks or better yet to see just how many times Tenseiga would bring someone back from the dead after they'd been cut into tiny pieces. Now was not the time to test that out on the quivering amphibious youkai in front of him, he had already lost enough face in front of his half-brother for one day.

"Oi, Sesshomaru! What's all this about?" Inuyasha demanded as his brother started off yet again, this time in the opposite direction. He couldn't believe that his brother would be this concerned over a human child. There had to be a more logical explanation to all this.

"This is none of your concern, little brother. Take your woman and go back to your village, all you need concern yourself with is there." Sesshomaru dismissed Inuyasha just like a king would a dirty beggar. Inuyasha would be angered by this, Sesshomaru knew, but he had more pressing matters to tend to. Let his miko woman cool his temper down if needs be.

"Why you son of a bitc—"

"Inuyasha! Kagome-chan! Has Shippou-chan been this way?" Sango called as she broke through the clearing a little as the right of where Jaken had burst out not twenty minutes ago. Kagome felt worry tug at her heart. She started to imagine all the horrible things that could happen to a child lost in the woods, totally forgetting the fact that Shippou's youkai senses made it almost impossible for him to get truly lost. Inuyasha let go of her waist to take hold of her hand. His thumb going in little soothing circles across the back of her palm, as he tried to dispel her fear for her adopted son's safety.

"We haven't seen the brat all day, but I wouldn't worry too much about him he's a youkai after all." Kagome relaxed a little bit at his words, but she was still worried. Shippou might be youkai, but that didn't change the fact that he was still young and didn't know everything about defending himself.

"I saw him last about an hour and a half ago, right before I went to find Sango so that we could partake in a late lunch. On the way back from the forest we looked for him, but he wasn't in the village. We got worried when some villagers reporting seeing a youkai that fit Sesshomaru's description and decided to come find you two," Miroku indicated the before mentioned inu-youkai with a small wave of his monk's staff, "but I see we are a little late with that news."

"That's the understatement of the century." Inuyasha mumbled under his breath, and Kagome would have poked him for it, but his grip on her hand kept her from it.

"Sesshomaru didn't come to fight, he came to see Inuyasha about…things…"She racked her brain trying to remember if they'd mentioned his impending visit to their companions. Apparently not, by the incredulous looks she was getting at suggesting that Sesshomaru had come to **talk** to his younger half brother. "But he has lost on of his traveling companions, a young girl by the name of Rin, while you were searching for Shippou did you happen to see her?"

Miroku and Sango thought about it for a moment, but had to shake their heads. Neither of them had seen a strange girl wandering around in the village while hunting Shippou.

Sesshomaru stood still, listening to his half-brother's companions as they conferred back and forth. When he had learned nothing useful from their conversation save that Rin wasn't in the human village, he decided it was time to find the little girl and start back toward his kingdom. With the village out of the equation that left the forest for her to be hiding in. Rin wasn't as stupid as most humans tended to be, and she knew that Jaken's senses were nonexistent at best when tromping through dense undergrowth. Sesshomaru would have felt pride in her ability to outsmart Jaken yet again…if he didn't find it so annoying.

"Hey, where are you going?" Inuyasha yelled again when Sesshomaru began to walk off for what had to have been the fifth time.

"This Sesshomaru is going back to the Western Lands if you must know hanyou." His patients with Inuyasha's rudeness were running thin.

"Aren't you going to look for that little girl?"

'_Yes, but I'd never admit it to you.'_ He never stopped walking toward the tree-line at the base of the hill they'd all been congregated on.

"Are you going to answer me? Hey you can't just leave her here! She's your responsibility!" In a movement too fast for any of them to see, except probably Inuyasha, Sesshomaru stood towering over Inuyasha, growling deep in his throat at the insolent little hanyou who _dared_ try and speak to him about responsibility.

"My patients with you has run out. What right do you have to speak of responsibility when you have yet to fulfill your duty to that human wench that cowers at your side? What do you know of it when you can't even live up to your birthright as a prince of the realm?" Sesshomaru cracked his knuckles so that the deadly poison his claws possessed would start to flow out from beneath his nails. Inuyasha was surprised that his taunts had affected his stoic older brother this much. He cursed himself for not keeping his mouth shut. Sesshomaru was the most dangerous when he was like this and with Kagome standing so close to him, Inuyasha was wary of doing anything else to upset the inu-youkai lord until he could somehow get her out of striking range.

"Sesshomaru I don't know what your problem is, but I'd back off." Inuyasha placed his hand of Tetsusaiga's hilt, but did not draw the sword. Sesshomaru's only response was to start to circle around Inuyasha slowly. Kagome saw Miroku and Sango crouch down in their fighting stances and she began to wish she'd brought her bow and arrows. All of them were so intent on what was going on with the two brothers that they never noticed the two small children who wandered up clutching bags of candy pilfered from Kagome's bag in their hands. Shippou looked over at Rin with skeptical eyes when he saw that Inuyasha and Sesshomaru were about to fight.

"I don't know Sesshomaru might be the tallest youkai you know but I'm seen bigger, plus he's only got one arm." While walking around to find the grown-ups they'd been arguing about which youkai would win in a fight, Sesshomaru or Inuyasha.

"My master can beat up anyone 'cause he's the greatest youkai in the world!" Rin declared in proud defiance of Shippou's words as she fed Mame-chan a bite of her candy bar. The little squirrel happily took the offered snack and munched on it as the two kept right on fighting.

"Whatever, Inuyasha killed a dragon and this mouth-youkai thing, and both of the Thunder Brothers, and lots of other nasty things! I bet Sesshomaru couldn't do all of that!" Shippou glanced over at the brothers to make sure Inuyasha hadn't heard him. Bragging about Inuyasha to this pesky girl was one thing, letting Inuyasha hear him was another.

"Yes he could! You take that back!" Rin dropped her candy and stood glaring at Shippou with her hands on her hips. Mame-chan hopped to the ground and started dragging the forgotten chocolate bar away so that he could eat it before the girl realized it was gone. Rin's yell reached the ears of the adults and even the brothers stopped circling each other long enough to look over at the children. Sesshomaru stopped the flow of the corrosive poison that dripped from his hand the moment he say Rin. He would not kill his brother in front of the girl.

"I can't take back the truth! He looks like a girl too, with that fluffy thing he wears around his neck!" Inuyasha cut his eyes over at Sesshomaru to see what his response would be to Shippou's insult and was surprised to see his eyebrow twitch.

"That's his tail you dimwit!" Kagome made a move to stop the two children from fighting but Inuyasha pulled her back. He wanted to see if this would lead to Shippou getting his butt kicked by a human girl or not.

"Who are you calling a dimwit, stupid?" Shippou tossed aside his bag of potato chips not caring about the snack anymore. The squirrel spied the brightly colored bag and left off eating Rin's candy bar just long enough to dash after the chips.

"At least I'm smart enough to know that a half-demon can't hurt a full demon!" Rin pointed her nose up in the air and did her best impression of Sesshomaru looking down on a lowly dung beetle. Inuyasha's smirk changed to a frown while out of the corner of his eye he could see that Sesshomaru now had a small upturn at the side of his mouth. Stupid bastard though that was funny did he?

"Erg! I don't care if you're a girl; I'm going to get you for that!" Before Shippou could pounce on the human child a hand appeared out of no where and caught the back of his shirt. He tried in vain to struggle out of the hold but couldn't seem to get loose. Rin didn't seem to mind that her opponent couldn't get down; in fact she liked it better that way. She reached up ready to pinch Shippou in any place she could when she too was hoisted into the air. It was only then that she noticed that her beloved Sesshomaru-sama was holding up the wiggling Shippou by his collar.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" She smiled brightly at him and gave a little wave forgetting that she was mad at Shippou entirely. "I made a new friend today and he has a pet squirrel that I helped name while we were hiding from Jaken. Can I have a pet squirrel too? I promise I'll take care of her, Jaken won't have to remind me to feed it, I promise! Please, oh please, please, please can I have one?" Sesshomaru looked at her strangely, wondering why the girl seemed so much more…energetic…than normal.

"You need to teach your pup more manners, although I suppose he can't help his rudeness…" Sesshomaru handed the still struggling kitsune over to Inuyasha and reached out to take Rin from him.

"Yeah, well your little girl was about to pinch him while he was defenseless, maybe you should teach her a thing or two about honor." Inuyasha pointed out as he sat Shippou up on his shoulder. Sesshomaru didn't respond, he just looked down at his human ward to see if she was hurt in any way but besides a few tears in her kimono she was fine.

"Um, Sesshomaru, I think Shippou gave Rin some of the food from my world that's very high in sugar. She might be a bit hyper for a few hours before it wears off." Kagome held up a candy wrapper she'd wrestled away from the squirrel for the youkai lord to see. He looked down at Rin how could barely contain herself as she sat perched in his arm.

"So can I have a pet? Maybe I can have a youkai squirrel, cause that would make my pet better than Shippou's!"

Oh Kami-sama, he really hated his brother.

* * *

Kagome sighed as a pleasant breeze flowed over her skin. She sat quietly and watched some birds feed their young in a nest high above in the braches of the God Tree. If felt so peaceful here in this spot where she'd first spotted Inuyasha, as if everything was finally returning to normal.

'_Well, as normal as life here in the past has been this last month.'_ Sesshomaru's visit had been strangest thing Kagome had experienced in resent memory. He'd left as abruptly as he'd come, carrying a wiggling child in one arm, and mumbling something about haflings under his breath. Even though the emotions he'd shown in front of them had been slight, if was a phenomenal amount for the youkai Lord. Kagome wondered if Sesshomaru's more obvious emotional state was due to the little girl he kept with him. Children had a way of softening the heart.

Kagome took her eyes off the birds and looked off toward the village. She was alone for the first time in weeks and a part of her was glad for the time to herself, but another part of her was feeling lonely. Everybody was doing something productive or helpful, and all she was doing was sitting here watching birds.

Sango was assisting Kaede in the birth of the newest member of the village. And Inuyasha, Shippou and Miroku were out doing things like gathering firewood and catching fish for their dinner. Kagome had really wanted to help out with the birthing herself, but she didn't want to force Inuyasha into something like that. Witnessing all the pain and anguish it took to bring a child into the world would surely traumatize him into never wanting children on his own. So instead of forcing him into that, she'd forced into some male bonding time with Miroku and Shippou. At first he'd argued, saying he couldn't leave herside because of the spell, but she'd convinced him that the God Tree was centrally located enough in the forest that he'd never really be out of her range, and other than a tug now and then she was right.

Kagome lay on her back in the grass so that she could stare up at the sky. Dusk was coming on, painting the sky in a myriad of glorious colors, but she really couldn't enjoy them. Kagome's thoughts turned from the sky to other things as she laid there. Well really she was only thinking of one other thing…

The Kiss. The kiss that could have been sooo much more. The kiss that had turned all her theories about Inuyasha and her feelings for him upside down.

Yeah, that kiss.

"_Your mine."_ His words from the day before played in her head as she touched her lips with an unsteady hand. "_Please trust me… I need you."_ Maybe it was time that she did that. She'd loved Inuyasha for years, but when it came right down to it; did she trust him with her feelings? She understood that that's what he was asking for. Understood that he was trying to prove that he just didn't want her because of that stupid, wonderful spell.

But she wasn't sure she could trust him like that.

People said that the hardest thing to do was to love someone who didn't love you back, and up until recently Kagome would have agreed whole heartedly to that statement.

But now she wasn't so sure.

It wasn't as hard as it seemed to have a one-sided love because one-sided loves could be safe things. As long as you knew that the other person only saw you as a friend you didn't have to act on your feelings. You never had to go out on a limb. You didn't have to trust the other person to take care of your heart…

But if that person suddenly decides to return your feelings, then what? How could you trust that person with your heart when you've spent years trying to keep it safe from him? And did that kiss even mean that Inuyasha was ready to return her feelings? When he said he needed her, did he mean her friendship or something more? There were other questions hovering like vultures in the back of her mind, like what would happen to them after the quest for the shikon shards was over? If the well locked her out what would happen to Inuyasha?

'_Everything's just moving so fast and it's just now sinking in that I'm married to Inuyasha. No, it's much more than that, I'm tied to him forever now. This is all so much deeper than just wanting him to pay attention to me, or snuggling in his lap. This is forever…I never even imagined he'd think of me as more than just a friend. I love Inuyasha, but can I trust him with forever? Oh Kami-sama I'm so close to being overwhelmed by all of this. Something inside of me just won't let it go though. I can't feel good about this, not when Kikyou…_

_You're only using her as an excuse._

_No, I'm not!_

_Before you didn't even want to tell Inuyasha, you just wanted her to fade away. If she fades away he can be free to love me: that's what you thought._

_I know but—_

_Kikyou's time has passed. You are only using her as an excuse to prop up your own insecurities. It comes down to this: Can you trust your hanyou with your heart? If you love him like you say you do then it shouldn't be such a hard answer to find within yourself…'_

Night had fallen around Kagome without her notice. She realized that it was way passed the time for Inuyasha for have come for her. Kagome shifted, ready to get up and go look for him when she felt a hand close upon her arm. She jerked away; startled by the suddenness of the touch before realizing that it was only Inuyasha.

"Why'd you have to scare me like that? I should say the 's' word…" She glared at him, trying to cover her embarrassment with anger. Just how long had he been there anyway?

"Keh, I've been here since right after the sun went down. I made enough noise for you to hear me…but you were thinking to…hard." The way he said the word 'hard' gave Kagome pause. It was like he was unsure, hesitating to mention what she'd been doing for some odd reason…

'_Oh shit…I forgot…!' _If there had ever been a time when Kagome had wanted to be swallowed whole by the earth it was now. She buried her face into her upraised knees and groaned.

'_How could I have forgotten that Inuyasha can hear my thoughts? What am I going to do?'_

"You think too much. Why can't you just accept that what's happened has happened? I'm not going to hurt you." His words were muffled and Kagome moved her head just enough so that she could see that he was mimicking her position, with his arms wrapped tightly around his knees and his head resting lightly on them.

"It's not that I don't trust you Inuyasha. Please don't think that. You've protected me for a long time and I don't doubt you at all…It's just…hard…for me to just accept all of this you know? Even after this stupid spell went wacky, in the back of my mind I still thought it would be you and Kikyou together in the end. Now..." She shrugged but didn't finish. Some how saying 'you're stuck with me for eternity' didn't seem appropriate.

"I know it's hard for you because as a human you don't have instincts that kick in like I do. To tell you the truth, part of me is just as scared and confused as you are. But another part of me…is content…like this is the way things are supposed to be." He kept his face hidden from her as he said this and Kagome was a little glad. She didn't want him to see the shocked look of her face when he said those things to her. Inuyasha…was content?

'_But up until a month ago, you loved her more than life itself. How can you be content with me, when I'm not her?' _She couldn't force the question out of her tight throat but she needed him to answer it anyway. Inuyasha's shoulders stiffened and he raised his head to look at her. Kagome gasped at the pain she saw there, the confusion that swirled in his amber depths. He wasn't as okay as he said he was, and her questions had unmasked him.

"I didn't love her more than life, but maybe I should have. That's the kind of love she deserved." Inuyasha's voice was rough with regret and Kagome felt a stab of guilt in her heart for forcing the issue. Why had she insisted on being so self-centered? Of course Inuyasha was in pain over this! He was losing so much more than she was. His freedom, his true love…

"Don't try to make me into a saint Kagome. I'm not losing anything I wouldn't willingly give up if asked." He held her eyes for a moment then buried his head back into his bent knees. Kagome felt her heart lurch. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? She waited for him to continue, to say something else that might clue her into what he was thinking.

Inuyasha drew in an unsteady breath before looking back up, he could see the questions swirling in her eyes, could feel them dancing wildly in her head, but he wasn't ready to dive deeper into that subject.

"Life isn't fair," He continued on with the previous thread and tried to ignore the confusion that still fluttered behind her eyes, "and Kikyou got a raw deal because of me, but I think as long as she is resting in…peace…I will be happy." Inuyasha was taking all the blame for the disastrous ending of his first relationship with her incarnation again and it made Kagome's heart hurt.

'_Why do you insist on always blaming yourself? Can't you see that it was Naraku's doing, all of it!'_ Kagome didn't even try to put her thoughts into words anymore. Inuyasha would understand her intent more this way, she reasoned, with her thoughts and emotions combining to give him a truer picture of how she felt.

"But I didn't fucking trust her! I should have trusted her!" He was getting angry now, at himself for the past, and at Kagome for…for just being Kagome.

"She was human and a miko, Inuyasha. Two things that you'd learned to fear and hate, not to mention that you wanted the shikon! Both of you were sworn enemies and no matter what you felt for each other trust is a hard thing to build. You were both like skittish animals waiting for the opportunity to run a---"

"But I trusted **you**!" He interrupted her flow of words with a hoarse yell. His eyes met hers and all the self-loathing reflected in their tawny depths almost made her choke. He swore again and turned away from her with jerky movements. Kagome was still too shocked to move.

Inuyasha trusted her?

Before even consciously making the decision she was moving over toward him. Kagome wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her forehead atop his bent head. He stiffened but she just tightened her grip.

"I'm sorry." She whispered into his ear, as she brought on hand up to smooth through his hair, copying the move he always used to calm her down. She wasn't sure what she was apologizing for, but at the moment it didn't matter. He was in pain and she was there to offer comfort. In her mind she found the piece of her soul that was a mesh of both of them and focused on drawing away his negative energy.

Inuyasha's shoulders were the first thing to relax, then the rest of him followed. He allowed Kagome to comfort him, allowed her to pull the proverbial plug on all the guilt and self-hate he was feeling, and even turned so he could wrap his own arms around her waist. It was ironic it really, she was the reason for the guilt, but her touch washed it all away.

Kagome slowly ran her fingers throw his long hair and listened as his breathing evened out. Behind them the moon started her nightly assent into the sky to commune with the stars, and Kagome shifted a fraction so that she could watch as the first moonbeam touched Inuyasha's face. It was ethereal, painting his features in an unearthly glow that made him appears supernatural. She was never so aware in her life that he wasn't all human, but he'd never looked so beautiful to her than at this moment.

Inuyasha opened his eyes straight into hers and gave a little smirk at the expression on her face. The atmosphere was changing again between them as they shrugged off the last remnants of revelation. They were both tired, mentally and physically, drooping suddenly from the stress all that had happened today.

"Inuyasha—"

"Shh." He turned slightly so that he could pull her off her knees beside him and into his lap. Kagome didn't even put up a token struggle. This was where she felt the most at home anyway. Everything in her soul told her that she belonged with this man for better or for worse, and at the moment she had no intentions of arguing.

"The others will come looking for us soon, you know." She pointed out as she wearily pressed her head against his shoulder.

"Keh, shows how much you know. I told them we were going down the well for the night." One of his clawed hands was absently drawing soothing circles down her back, the motion lulling both of them into a sleepy half-daze.

"And what about my bag?" She mumbled, playing with the ends of his hair, braiding a few of the strands together, only to stake them out and start over again.

"You don't need it." He rested his forehead against the side of her face and contemplated never moving. If they stayed right here the whole world would cease to exist, there would be no sorted pasts to deal with, no jewel shards to hunt, and no psycho half-demons bent of world domination to kill, because at this moment, here in the place where they first met, only Kagome could exist.

"I need my school books." She pointed out dryly. Inuyasha gave a short muffled growl in disagreement.

"We're only going to be there long enough for you to go to the doctor." He pulled her closer and shifted her around so that she wouldn't fall out of his lap when he stood up. He'd made his decision, tonight they would stay on this side of the well, but they weren't going back to the village.

"But I need to go to school; I've already miss—hey! Where are we going?" Kagome felt the rush of air as Inuyasha jumped up into the branches of the God Tree. She looked down to find the ground much too far away for her taste. That could he be thinking?

"I'm thinking that I'm tired, but I'll be damned if I sleep unprotected on the ground." He settled on a wide limb and twisted her around so that her back was pressed to his chest. Inuyasha locked his arms around her frame so she wouldn't fall out of his lap during the night and closed his eyes. Sleep was blissfully close at hand, but apparently Kagome had other plans. As soon as she figured out that he meant for them to _sleep_ in the tree she started to struggle.

"Why don't we just go back to the village? I can sleep in my nice warm sleeping bag and if you really want to sleep outdoors you can campout in the tree in Kaede's yard. Inuyasha cracked one golden eye open and looked down at her. Why did she have to insist on arguing over everything?

"No." He dropped his head down on to her shoulder and breathed in the sent of her hair. If she'd only stop wiggling he could get some rest…

Kagome went still when she felt him nuzzle her neck and then she relaxed. She felt him smirk against her skin but she'd lost her will to fight him anymore tonight.

"Just so you know I'm not happy about sleeping in this tree." She told him as her eyes began to droop closed. The only response she got was the slight tightening of his arms around her waste and the sound of his even breathing.

* * *

All was quiet in the little hut that Kaede owned. The old miko was gone, having decided to spend the night with the new parents to help settle them in with their bundle of screaming joy. Shippou was sleeping in the corner under a pile of blankets he'd pilfered from the room Kagome had used to recover in recently. No doubt her lingering smell on the covers was the reason he'd buried himself so tightly inside the nest he'd made for himself. Yes every thing was peaceful and quiet as it should be…

"Touch my backside Houshi-sama, and you will have to go on a special quest to find all your missing parts." Sango calmly stated as she poured a cup of Kaede's strong herbal tea for herself. The monk, with his wandering hands pressed firmly to his sides, plopped down beside her with his pseudo-pious look plastered firmly on his face.

"You must have been mistaken---"

"We both know I wasn't."

"---my hands were nowhere near your backside, as tempting as it is, Sango-sama. I was simply admiring the view…" His eyes wandered down from her face, but the sound of her throat clearing brought his bluish-purple gaze back up to safer ground, "…of the stars."

Sango sighed, knowing that there was no winning with him, and instead offered him a cup of tea. He accepted it with a smile and turned to stare into the dying embers of the fire. Sango faced the fire too, mimicking his position with a frown.

"Everything will work out in the end, you know." Miroku said without looking toward her.

"How do you know?" She faced him and sat her cup down with a little too much force. The contents sloshed out onto her hand and she gave a curse as the pain brought tears to her eyes. Miroku was at her side in seconds, taking her hand in his and patting the hot liquid off on his robes.

"I know that everything is going to be okay because some things are just meant to be. Inuyasha and Kagome will find their way through all of this just like you and I will." He reached inside his robe with his free hand and drew out a soft length of cloth. He began to wrap it around her abused hand with care while she tried to process what his word might mean.

"Me and you?" As much as she hated to admit it, his gentle touch was making her a little fuzzy headed.

"Yes, you and I have just as big a part in this as Inuyasha and Kagome do." He smirked, but made sure to tilt his head so that she couldn't see him.

"How can that be?" She watched him tie a neat knot at the top of the make-shift bandage and marveled at how much better her hand felt already.

"Well, someone has to encourage them toward the right path. If we left them on their own it would take them hundreds of years to confess their feelings for each other." Sango realized that he was still holding her hand and she jerked it back. She quickly stood and walked toward the side room where she was going to sleep.

"Thank you…for the hand. I'll see you in the morning Houshi-sama." Sango waved as she disappeared behind the grass mat that covered the doorway.

"Good-night dear Sango." He whispered long after her breathing had evened out in the other room.

* * *

"Inuyasha, if you're going to insist on going to the doctor with me you're going to have to at least put on a pair of jeans." Kagome held put a pair of dark blue denims that one of her cousins had left after the last family reunion. Inuyasha ignored her in favor of torturing her chubby cat. Kagome drew in a deep breath then exhaled slowly. If that was the way he was going to be, well two could play this game just as easily as one. She calmly sat the pants down and left the room. She only had a few minutes to finish getting ready before her mom called her downstairs. If Inuyasha wanted to come too, he'd have to put his butt into gear (and into those jeans), because she was leaving in 10 minutes with or without him.

"You can't leave without me!" He shouted, coming into her room behind her as she sat down at her vanity to brush her hair. She noticed with a slight smile that he'd brought the pants with him when he'd chased after her.

"I can if you don't put on some normal clothes." She put her brush down and reached for a ribbon to tie her hair back with.

"My clothes are normal." His voice was sullen and Kagome suppressed her desire to rub at the ache that was forming between her eyes. She watched through the mirror as he sat on her floor and crossed his arms in a pout.

"Of course your clothes are normal, for your time period. If you're going to go with me to the doctor's office you're going to have to wear pants and shoes." Thankfully the same cousin had left a pair of sandals along with his pants. Kagome figured Inuyasha would be more comfortable in sandals than in sneakers anyway.

"Oh no, I draw the line with shoes!" Inuyasha was shaking his head wildly in testament of his unwillingness to at least meet Kagome half way.

'_Kami-sama, I am so tempted to just beat my head against the wall until this all fades away. Why can't he just cooperate with me for once?'_

"Hitting your head against the wall isn't going to make me go away." His voice was close by her shoulder but Kagome ignored him.

"Ignoring me won't work either." Her left eyebrow started to twitch. She stood up and walked around him to get to her closet were she hunted around for her own sandals.

"I'm not going to put on those stupid clothes!" He told her as she moved toward the door, "But I have to go with you anyway because it'll hurt you too much to be that far away from me." The door was slammed in his smug face before he could follow her out of her room. Inuyasha mumbled curses under his breath as he wrenched the door open and followed her down the stairs. He kept a close eye on her to make sure she wouldn't trip like the last time.

"Mom are you ready to go?" Kagome asked her mother when she reached the bottom of the staircase. Mrs. Higurashi looked up from reading the paper and smiled at her frazzled looking daughter. Of course she'd heard most of the shouted conversation between her daughter and Inuyasha, but she wasn't one to ask questions.

"I'm ready when you are," she glanced over at the seething hanyou who was trying to get Kagome's attention by tugging on her sleeve, "I take it Inuyasha isn't going with us?" Kagome just snorted and reached for an apple out of the bowl of fruit sitting on the table.

"Of course I'm going!" Inuyasha hissed, taking the apple from Kagome and slicing it up with his claws into bite sized pieces like she liked it. Kagome accepted the fruit without looking at him and sat down at the table to eat her quick breakfast.

"If you're going you might want to change into those pants and sandals Kagome found for you. The blue jeans are going to be a little baggy because my sister's boy is a bit on the chunky side, but I don't think that'll be a problem for you." She eyed the puffiness of the red pants he was wearing then the jeans and nodded her head.

"The sandals will probable be roomy too…" She looked down at his bare feet with a mother's critical eye. Yes, those sandals would be about a half size too big, but since he wasn't used to wearing shoes it was probably good that they would be loose.

"But I---"

"Inuyasha you only have ten minutes."

Ten minutes and a lot of cursing later Inuyasha found him self sitting in the back of the Higurashi family car. He glared down at the sandals strapped to his feet and the strange pants that covered his legs. They weren't as **_bad_** as he'd expected, but he still loathed every minute of it. At least the damned females had let him keep his white shirt that he normally wore under his fire rat fur.

Kagome was still mad at him.

She was staring out the window, still refusing to acknowledge his presence, and her emotions and thoughts were a maelstrom of conflicting feelings. Her fist clenched and unclenched unsteadily in her lap and she was worrying her bottom lip so roughly that he was sure it would start bleeding soon. With a glance toward her mother who was driving, Inuyasha reached out and touched her shoulder.

"Kagome, look at me." His voice was quiet but she heard him. Kagome glanced up briefly but didn't quite meet his eyes before looking back outside. Inuyasha frowned with impatiens and just reached over and gently maneuvered her around to face him. Inuyasha then tipped her chin up until she met his eyes.

"Tell me what's wrong." He commanded softly. She shook her head no and glanced toward her mother. Inuyasha understood that she didn't want to talk in front of the older woman, but he wasn't going to let it go until he knew that he was forgiving for his earlier bad behavior.

"Are you still mad at me?" He leaned in close to her so that her mother wouldn't hear his whisper. Kagome sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. She shook her head 'no' but didn't speak. Inuyasha wrapped an arm around her shoulders patted her back. Kagome sighed and let herself lean against his chest for a minute. She was dreading going to the doctor because after regaining her sight he'd most likely release her to go back to school, and if it had taken this much effort to just get Inuyasha into some pants, how much would it take to get him into a uniform? No, she'd have to quit school now that they were bound to each other. But what would she do if the well closed and she had to live totally in her time? How would she get a job if she didn't finish school?

"Shh…don't think about all of that shit right now." Inuyasha murmured in her ears. She was about to say something back when she heard her mother clear her throat. With a reluctant sigh Kagome pulled away from Inuyasha and moved back over to her side of the car.

'_Thank you.'_ She felt him slip his hand into hers. Kagome looked down at their joined hands and smiled.

Maybe she could trust her hanyou with her whole heart after all.

* * *

It was a few hours later and Kagome was finally out of the doctor's office. Inuyasha had almost gone insane waiting for her in that tiny office filled to the brim with sniffling kids and crying babies. One little boy with huge brown eyes and a runny nose had stared up at him the whole time he was there. No matter what move he made the kid just wouldn't look away. Mrs. Higurashi thought it was cute that he had an admirer but Inuyasha was slightly creeped out by the stoic little boy.

'_Sesshomaru must have been like this as a kid.'_ He had mused as the child nearly fell over backwards when he stood up. He'd never been gladder to get away from a kid in his life!

He turned toward Kagome and nudged her in the arm. She looked over at him and he raised an eyebrow.

'_What do you want?'_ She asked with a frown as she started to get into the car.

"Walk with me." He motioned to the sidewalk and nudged her again. Kagome sighed, and waved to her mother.

"Looks like we're going to walk home mom. I'll see you later." Mrs. Higurashi nodded in understanding and told them to stay out of trouble. Inuyasha smirked at that.

"Your mother doesn't know you very well if she thinks that you, of all people, can stay out of trouble."

"I wouldn't get into so much trouble if I didn't hang around you so much." She retorted. She let him take her hand as they started walking down the street in silence. Kagome was lost in her own thoughts and Inuyasha was content for the moment to let her stay there because he knew that she would talk to him (willingly or not) before they reached the shrine.

"Higurashi?" The way Kagome jerked around to face the young human male who had spoken to her sat his nerves on edge. Inuyasha sniffed the air as the boy approached and felt a growl bubble up inside his chest when he recognized the sent as one of Kagome's "friends" from this time. He wrapped a possessive arm around her waist, but let her step in front of him to greet the boy whose goofy grin was so big it was in danger of falling off his face.

"Houjo? What are you doing here, isn't school going on today?" Kagome didn't appear to notice the arm Inuyasha wrapped around her waist. She was too busy trying to figure out how she would explain Inuyasha to Houjo and vice versa.

"Oh, there was a small fire in the chem. Lab so school dismissed early. But Kagome, you can see! I called your house to check on you a few weeks ago and your grandfather told me you'd left Japan for treatment. We were all so worried when he told us that lightening had struck you. In fact I was going to your shrine right now to see if your mother would mind if I bought you a seeing-eye dog. But I guess you won't need that now!" Without warning the overzealous young man pulled Kagome into a hug…or at least he would have, if Inuyasha hadn't yanked her away. Houjo had managed to catch her arm though, and for a moment she found out just how it felt to be the rope in a game of tug-a-war.

"Inuyasha put me down!" She hissed while yanking her arm out of the other boys grasp. Inuyasha complied, but definitely kept a hand on her hip. She glared at him then turned to glare at Houjo who, to his credit, was looking rather sheepish. She opened her mouth to scold both of them by Inuyasha cut her off.

"Kagome's mine now, so don't think I'm going to let her run home so she can do on 'dates' with you anymore." His voice was smug, and he even had the nerve to squeeze her hip suggestively.

Kagome sputtered and turned three shades of red. Houjo's eyes were huge as he looked at her with something akin to hurt and shock. She reached out a hand to him but Inuyasha clasped her open palm in his own hand before Houjo could take it.

"Higurashi? I thought…Well, I assumed…you and I…but…Is this…Is he the reason you never really made it to any of our dates?" His voice was reserved, with none of the hurt she saw in his eyes reflected in it. Kagome opened her mouth to say something but then shut it. What could she say: 'I'm sorry about leading you on for all these years, but you see I'm kinda married/mated to this jerk now.'? In the end all she could do was nod her head.

"I'm sorry." She couldn't meet his eyes as she said this, and instead focused on a spot beyond his shoulder.

"Think nothing of it Higurashi-san! I wish you luck, and I'm glad you got your sight back." Houjo smiled stiffly and waved before turning around and going the way they'd come just minutes ago.

"Keh, you don't have to act so upset about it. I know you really don't like him that much." His words lit a dangerous fire in Kagome's stomach and she had to remind herself that in the middle of a crowed street was not the time to have this out with Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha, we're not very far from the shrine. We'll talk about this when we get there." Her voice was deadly calm, but he could feel her anger coming off her in waves. Inuyasha felt his ears begin to droop under the hat, and was glad that Kagome wouldn't be able to tell how intimidated he was of her anger.

"Keh."

As soon as they'd climbed all one hundred steps Kagome reached out and poked him in the ribs. Hard.

"Ouch, bitch! What was that for?" He asked, stepping away from her and rubbing his abused side. He'd hopped that the silent walk to the shine had cooled her temper some, but apparently he'd been wrong.

"Tell me, do I have a sign of my forehead that says 'Property of Inuyasha'?" She yelled while pointing to her forehead. Inuyasha looked at her funny, not really following what she was talking about.

"That's a stupid question."

"No, I really want to know, because obviously **_you think I do_**! Every time something doesn't go your way, or you feel insecure you grab me up and start telling anyone who'll listen that I'm yours! Well, I'm tired of it Inuyasha!" She poked him the in chest again, but this time he didn't step away from her.

"But you are mine---"She was his mate. Maybe not in every sense of the word, but all of that would come when they were both ready to take that step.

"In what way am I yours? Just because of a stupid spell ties us together I have to sign away my life for you?" Her poking turned to pounding as she fisted her hands. He was too caught up in her words to stop her though.

"No, it's not like that---"

"When do you become mine, Inuyasha? When do I have the right to get mad every time you think of Kikyou?" He reached up and finally grabbed her hands. The act pulled her in closer to him, but neither noticed that they were practically leaning against each other for support.

"Kagome!"

"No, you listen to me! I'm so tired of always bowing to your needs! I decided to quit school because of this spell, even though I need my education if I'm going to survive in my world! I always come back to the past no matter what's going on here. I miss birthdays and family reunions and Souta's school plays. I-I-I do it all for you! Because you need me…Not so you can treat me like a possession---"He finally got tired of her interrupting him and did the first thing that came to mind to shut her up. It was a hard kiss at first, and she struggled to pull away, but his arms wrapped around her waist and made moving away just a pipe dream. After a moment, she responded and the kiss softened to a gentle apologetic caress.

Kagome sighed and pressed her head into the hollow between Inuyasha's shoulder and his neck, feeling all her anger draining away like sand through her fingers. He rested his forehead against her head and tightened his hold on her a fraction.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear. She nodded her head, but didn't try to speak. She wondered absently if they'd ever get beyond all this fighting and yelling. If the spell wasn't so permanent she'd seriously think they were headed for divorce. Inuyasha couldn't help the quiet growl that formed in his throat when her thoughts floated before his minds eye. He didn't know what 'divorce' was but he understood the emotions behind it.

"We'll figure all of this shit out, just give me time and let me take care of you like I'm supposed to. Don't worry about your damn school or any of that fucking stuff, you won't need it now." He picked her up and carried her up to the roof of the shrine before she could respond. Inuyasha could feel that this was going to be another one of those long conversations with Kagome that he wouldn't want to have interrupted. He figured the roof would be the last place her family would look for them. He settled them on the roof, but he wasn't fast enough to keep Kagome in his lap. She sat down and few feet away and stared out toward the city. Kagome was silent for a moment, drawing her wits about her for the up coming battle. Inuyasha wasn't going to like what she had to say, but it had to be said.

"I can't just forget about my education, Inuyasha. I'm not the same naïve little girl that thought she could find all the shikon shards within a week. I know there is a possibility that when all the shards are finally found that I won't be able to come back down the well. I…I…" she stopped and Inuyasha watched as she worked to keep her breath from hitching in her throat. He wanted to pull her into his arms and make her forget about all her worries; to make her stop taking nonsense. There was no way in hell that he'd let her become separated from him. The very thought…before he could stop himself, a quiet whine formed in his throat. He swallowed it and tried not to curse aloud. No matter how much his instincts were screaming for him to make her forget about all of this, he was not going to **_beg_** for her touch.

"I…I have to learn how to survive without you. You won't be able to take care of me if we're…separ—"

"Don't say that. Don't fucking say it!" He couldn't let her say that word. The whine he'd been fighting down turned into a growl. She wasn't youkai; she couldn't understand what her words were doing to him inside. She couldn't comprehend the cataclysmal torrent of emotions that threatened to rend his heart into tiny pieces at the thought of being separated from her for a moment, much less the rest of his life. Protecting her, taking care of her was second nature to him. And like breathing, if he couldn't do it he was sure he'd die.

"Inuyasha, we **_have_** to consider this. We aren't children anymore! The well could seal tomorrow and whatever Kami or unseen force that caused me to be able to come here could revoke that privilege! What if I don't belong in the past?" Kagome was trying her best to hold in her sobs. Did he think this was easy on her? She'd loved him for years, and now a relationship with him was finally within her conceivable grasp, but she had to be grown up about this no matter how much it hurt. It was for his own good. If he knew there was a possibility that she could be gone next week, maybe it wouldn't seem like Kikyou all over again for him.

"You're just saying this because your afraid! You don't want to trust me, so you're trying to give me a reason to back off! You think if you turn yourself into another Kikyou I'll stop caring! Well, I'm not going to!" He was angry. Angry that she would even suggest such a thing, but inside he was struggling not to be overcome by fear. He'd never considered the fact that Kagome could be taken away from him. Sure, she'd left him and threatened not to come back, and he'd even tried to keep her from coming back himself a few times, but they'd never been able to go through with their separations. One of them always gave in at the end.

"Please don't think I _want_ this to happen Inuyasha. Don't you think it's hard for me to suggest this? And I am afraid! I'm afraid that you'll hate me if I have to leave you! You don't own me Inuyasha. There's no way for you to keep me with you if…" Kagome left the sentence hanging because she couldn't stand to speak the possibilities out loud again. She moved closer to him and held out her hand like she wanted to comfort him but wasn't sure her touch would be welcome. It was then that he realized he was still growling.

"I don't care what you say, I'll always be there to take care of you and protect you. Your mine Kagome. Mine. And…I'm yours." The way he said it and the way he looked into her eyes so earnestly during that last part, Kagome could almost believe that he loved her, truly cared for her in a deeper since than just mere friendship. He was so convincing too, as if the Kamis and fate had nothing to do with the way the world was ran, that for a moment she decided to believe him. She let the tension drain from her body and the tears she'd fought so hard to keep inside found release at last. Inuyasha saw those tears and lost control of the impulse to pull her into his arms. He never could stand the sight of tears, having seen his mother shed a few thousand too many as a child, but Kagome's tears effected his on a much deeper level and he couldn't help but hold her close.

"It'll be okay, Kagome, you'll see. We'll make this work, koshii." He kissed her forehead as she clung to him for support. He reached out mentally and found their link without trouble. Inuyasha worked on reinforcing his words with feelings, hoping to calm her down before the sun sat. He didn't have a clue what his change would do to their link so be wanted her emotions stable before it happened.

His words were like a balm to her soul. Kagome felt the last of her worries slip away. Suddenly realizing just how tired she was, Kagome was glad that Inuyasha's arms were around her for support or she probably would have collapsed into a heap on the shrine roof.

'_I can't go to sleep now it's not even sundown yet. I have to make my decision about school before I go back to the past tomorrow. Oh Kami-sama don't I have a test I'm supposed to be studding for? Wait, tonight's the new moon! I definitely can't go to sleep now…!'_

"Japanese History."

"What?" She managed to look up at him, although it was hard considering how tightly he was holding her.

"Your test is in Japanese History. You told your mother while we were waiting for the doctor to see you."

"Oh." She put her head back down on his shoulder, trying to build up the strength needed to push him away. It was getting harder and harder each time he held her like this to let go. Kagome bet that stupid, wonderful spell had something to do with it.

"I'm going to put you to bed now, no arguments." He tightened his hold just a fraction when he heard Kagome suck in air to argue with him. "You don't have to sleep for the rest of the night, just rest for a little while. You can do all that shit when you get back up."

"But tonight's the new moon. I can stay a wake until after you've changed." She protested with as much strength as she could gather up to use. Which wasn't much considering how comfortable she was in his arms while he carried her into the house and up the stairs. Inuyasha just smirked at her, knowing better. He lay her down on the bed, and made to move away from her, but Kagome latched onto his arm and wouldn't let go.

"Kagome?"

"Inuyasha, don't go. At least stay in here with me until after the sun goes down." He could see the blush staining her cheeks clearly even though the room cast in shadows. Inuyasha was confused about what she meant, though. He always stayed close to her when she was sleeping no matter what time they were in.

"I always stay in here, wench. Even when you get it into your head to kick me out." He informed her, still leaning over her bed because of her hold on his arm.

"No, what I mean is, I want you to hold me," Then seeing the look in his eyes she rushed to explain, "Just until the sun goes down or I go to sleep, then you can go do what ever you do when you're here at night, I just…I'm worried that the spell will go all wacky when you turn human…" Her voice trailed off when he shifted to lay down beside her on top of the covers. Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back up close to his chest, then he made himself comfortable on her pillow. The bed wasn't very big, but he didn't mind having to pull her close so that they'd both fit. In fact, he rather liked it's tiny size, he smirked to himself as he buried his nose into her hair.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know." Her voice was slurred and Inuyasha knew that it wouldn't be long before she fell into dreamland.

"Go to sleep, Kagome. And don't worry about sun down. I'm sure nothing will happen." She was almost certain she felt him nip her neck after he said that, but she would never be sure, because she drifted off before she could voice her surprise.

Just as her breathing evened out in sleep, Inuyasha felt the first twinge that meant his youkai blood was waning.

'_I hope I was right!'_

* * *

T.B.C

AN: Wow, I'm glad that's over. This was the hardest chapter for me to write, not because the inspiration wasn't there, but because real life kept getting in the way.

I don't know if this chapter flows right or not, but please give me a few days to rest before you start pointing out problems…The last few weeks of my life have been…hard…. And this last Friday at 2:00 am my grandfather died. He was down from North Carolina visiting us, but I never got the chance to see him before he had his stroke. My parents left today to drive the 15 hours it takes to get to his house for the funeral, but I'm missing it because I have classes I can't miss this close to the final.

I guess you can say I'm a little down. Writing made me feel better, but then I feel bad because it's been so long since I updated and because I can't even figure out if this chapter's a mess or not.

Just keep me in your thoughts for the next few days okay?

Oh and before I go, We have FANART!

http/www. family colorsnippet3.jpg

Thanks goes to the loverly Kristen Sharpe for drawing this pic! It's not quite finished yet so check back often!

I'm not going to give you a chapter preview because this too big to give away! And No it has nothing to do with Inuyasha's change! Guess again!


	14. Where Are You Going

_Disclaimer: I have a stomach virus right now, so I guess you could say that I "own" that. But that's all I have…and now that I think about it, I'm willing to give it away, so if anyone wants to trade the rights to Inuyasha for these yucky germs I'm game ()…for a look at past, and more informing disclaimers look at chapters 1-13…_

_AN: Thanks for all the support you've all given me. I'm eternally grateful for all of the prayers and kindnesses you've shown me._

**:RECAP:**

"_Kagome?"_

"_Inuyasha, don't go. At least stay in here with me until after the sun goes down." He could see the blush staining her cheeks clearly even though the room cast in shadows. Inuyasha was confused about what she meant, though. He always stayed close to her when she was sleeping no matter what time they were in._

"_I always stay in here, wench. Even when you get it into your head to kick me out." He informed her, still leaning over her bed because of her hold on his arm._

"_No, what I mean is, I want you to hold me," Then seeing the look in his eyes she rushed to explain, "Just until the sun goes down or I go to sleep, then you can go do what ever you do when you're here at night, I just…I'm worried that the spell will go all wacky when you turn human…" Her voice trailed off when he shifted to lay down beside her on top of the covers. Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back up close to his chest, then he made himself comfortable on her pillow. The bed wasn't very big, but he didn't mind having to pull her close so that they'd both fit. In fact, he rather liked it's tiny size, he smirked to himself as he buried his nose into her hair._

"_You don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know." Her voice was slurred and Inuyasha knew that it wouldn't be long before she fell into dreamland._

"_Go to sleep, Kagome. And don't worry about sun down. I'm sure nothing will happen." She was almost certain she felt him nip her neck after he said that, but she would never be sure, because she drifted off before she could voice her surprise._

_Just as her breathing evened out in sleep, Inuyasha felt the first twinge that meant his youkai blood was waning. _

'_I hope I was right!'_

**:END RECAP:**

Chapter 14: Where Are You Going

_

* * *

__Is where you are is where I belong _

* * *

The breeze was pleasant. It carried the fragrance of a multitude of flowers on its wings as if softly caressed her face and she couldn't help but smile at the soothing sensation. She lay on her back in a field of wildflowers watching the lazy clouds drift by high above her. She more than happy, she was content, satisfied with everything around her. She had a husband that she loved with all her soul, and two amazing children, with another little one on the way, indeed, what more could she possibly want?

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy's being mean to big brother again! He's teasing him about cousin Rin!" The woman sat up with a little difficulty and caught her son into her arms as he came bounding up to her. She ruffled his long black hair that his father refused to let her cut and tweaked one of his slightly pointed human ears. While pregnant with him, she's hoped that he'd have dog ears like her husband, but being only a quarter youkai he was born looking mostly human. His big eyes gleamed their funny blue-grey-purple color in the sunlight, and when he grinned an almost sharp fang stuck out from between his lips.

"And you didn't help Daddy tease Shippou-chan at all?" She asked as she settled him into her lap. The little boy immediately pressed his ear to the gentle swell of her stomach and poked his thumb into his mouth.

"Well, maybe I told Daddy that big brother got a letter." He spoke around his thumb, and although it was hard to understand what he was saying his mother didn't scold him. She believed that he'd grow out of it in due time.

"So this is where you disappeared off to, huh runt?" The word would have sounded harsh coming from anyone else, but her husband's voice was only full of love for their child and maybe gentle teasing.

"Daddy!" The little boy shouted and flung himself into his father's arms. The woman was amused, but pretended to pout at being abandoned so quickly.

"What about mommy? Don't you want to cuddle longer?" She asked as her husband swung their little boy around in circles, occasionally throwing him high in the air, only to catch him at the last possible moment. The woman watched as their hair flew out around them in swirling clouds of silver and raven. She placed a hand to her belly and fervently hoped that her next child would be blessed with Inuyasha's hair color and not her own.

"Keh, he's a big boy now, he doesn't want to cuddle he wants to go play in the dirt! The dirt's better than kisses and hugs any day!" But he contradicted his self by leaning down and kissing her loudly on the lips. The little boy wrinkled his nose and told his daddy that he was now infected by cooties.

"You're mother doesn't have cooties. She's too pretty to have cooties." He informed his son as he plopped down beside his wife. "Go bother your big brother now so Mommy and Daddy can talk. He was writing a letter back to Rin last time I checked." He shooed the little boy back toward the village with a pat to his bottom. He giggled evil and went running off to torture his older brother.

"You shouldn't have done that itoshii, it will only make them fight. Which means one of them will come running out here in a few minutes." She pointed out to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Keh, he's not really writing Rin back. Shippou promised to entertain the little one while I talked to you." He leaned over and nuzzled her neck and she giggled a bit as some of his silver hair tickled her chin. She reached up to rub his ears and was rewarded by his deep throated purring.

"My, you're in a mood today. Want to tell me what's on your mind?" She asked as he shifted to lay down beside her with his head cushioned in her lap. She smiled when he pressed on ear up against her stomach like their son had done earlier.

"I got you something." He said in lue of an actual answer. He reached inside his red haori and pulled out an object wrapped in soft cloth. He handed it over to her and watched with half-lidded amber eyes as she opened it carefully. She sucked in a breath when she caught sight of what he'd given her; it was a beautiful ornate mirror that must have cost…no she wouldn't think of that now.

"Oh Inuyasha, I love it!" She leaned down to give him a long lingering kiss and when she pulled away she heard him whisper…

"I'm glad you like it. I love you with my whole heart…Kikyou…"

"**NOOOO!"** Kagome sat up in bed and grasp her heaving chest with a sweat palm. She scooted back in bed as if she was trying to get away from something terrible. She could feel the cold sweat running down the back of her neck as she sucked in great breaths of air. That dream…

No, it was more like a nightmare. Like a sweet dish hiding poison, it had taken her unawares.

"Why?" she managed to choke the words out past her suddenly parched throat and she absently reached for the glass of water that she always kept on her bedside table. Something tightened around her abdomen as she shifted for the glass, making her glance down to see if her nightmare had caused her to get tangled up in the sheets. But it wasn't bed covers that were wrapped around her waist, but two arms. Kagome's eyes followed the arms until they met with the white-clad chest of the person lying next to her. It was then that she became aware of the face that was pressed into the pillow at her hip and the way her skirt had ridden up during her sleep, but she still couldn't seem to shake off her nightmare-induced daze.

"What did that dream mean? It was so real, what if he really is supposed to be with her…instead of me?" She shivered and bit her lip to keep from crying out at the pain that shot through her heart at that thought. Beside her, the now human Inuyasha stirred and tighten his arms around her hips. He made a little sound in the back of his throat, as if he was coaxing her to lie back down, but she ignored him.

"She had my life. She was living the life I dreamed I would live…." She struggled out of his hold and stumbled across the room to the open window. Without hesitation she stuck her head out into the inky blackness of night for some much needed fresh air, but after her first shuttering gulp her stomach turned. It was the same smell as in the dream.

The smell of hundreds of wildflowers on the breeze.

"Kagome?" His voice was sleep roughened and confused, but she didn't turn around to acknowledge him, she couldn't because she was trying to keep the contents of her stomach down.

"Kagome!" His voice sounded panicked and she remembered that his sense of smell was gone tonight. He couldn't see her in the dark room and he was afraid that something had happened to her.

"I'm here." She managed to shut the window before the sickly sweet smell of the wildflowers could cause her more distress. Kagome allowed her body to slide down the wall toward the floor as the sound of footsteps hurried toward her.

Inuyasha caught her before she hit the ground, but instead of picking her up he just shifted her into his lap and sat down under the window. The room was pitch-black and the only sounds to be heard was Kagome's choking half-sobs. He pulled her as close as was humanly possible, and tried to get her to calm down. Mentally he reached for their link, but he couldn't find it. In desperation he searched his mind for her thoughts or feelings but could find no trace of Kagome anywhere.

It was like someone had ripped a huge chunk out of his heart.

He couldn't help the whimper that escaped from his throat. She was in distress and upset, but he could do nothing about it. What if he could never feel her again? The very thought caused him physical pain.

"Kagome, please tell me what's wrong! I can't feel you in my head koi, and it's scaring me." As a youkai, Inuyasha would have never admitted to being scared, but his human half didn't care about trivial things such as pride when it came to women and tears. Especially when it was **_this_** woman and **_her_** tears.

"I'm okay. It was just a bad dream. I'm sorry I woke you up." She took a deep breath and slowly released it out. Inuyasha felt her relax against him and he felt a measure of calm return to his mind. She wasn't hurt, it had only been a nightmare. He buried his face into the crook of her neck and in-held the sent of her. Even as a human with weak senses the way Kagome smelt still had the same soothing effect on his nerves, yet he couldn't relax all the way, not when her presence was absent in his head.

"Kagome, why can't I feel you? Why can't I find our link?" He sounded so lost that Kagome momentarily forgot her nightmare and focused on the man who was holding her. She reached out mentally and was able to find their link without any trouble, but it felt different, almost hollow somehow. She tweaked it again and realized what was missing; up until now, every thing she'd reached out to Inuyasha through their link his presence had filled her mind, sort of bumping her back, so to say. But this time although she could feel him and his emotions, it was like a part of him wasn't responding to her mental touch. It was a distressing problem, but the solution was a simple one.

"Inuyasha, we're still linked, it's just that as a human you don't have any spiritual powers that allow you to feel the link." The way he sagged with relief at her words made Kagome smile. She poked him lightly in the ribs.

"Hey, I thought my emotions and thoughts constantly filling up your head were annoying! You ought to be glad to get a night off!" She teased him. He smiled down at her before reaching out and tucking a strand of her hair behind her left ear.

"Did I say that?" He asked softly as he looked into her eyes. She felt a blush creep up into her cheeks at his nearness, but didn't look away.

"Yes, just last week." Was it just her, or did she sound rather breathless?

"Well, I lied." He lowered his mouth until it was only a hairs breath away from her own lips…

"So tell me about this dream that was so horrible it had you fighting to get away from me?" He smirked at her shocked face and dropped a kiss to her cheek. Kagome blushed an even deeper shade of red and started struggling to get out of his lap.

"Wait, where do you think you're going?" He asked as he made it impossible for her to get away from him. Kagome just grunted and continued to push at his arms and chest. She didn't want to be in his lap, or anywhere near him, after that stunt he'd just pulled. Playing with her emotions like that…jackass.

"Look, I'm sorry; I just think you're pretty when you blush." Kagome frowned and refused to meet his eyes. She knew he'd be looking are her warmly enough to make her melt and forget how mad at him she was, and she refused to fall for it.

"I hate you." She stopped struggling, but she didn't make herself comfortable. She just sat stiffly in his lap or as stiffly as she could sit with her shoulder pressed against his chest and her legs splayed out over his left thigh. He reached up and light brushed his fingers through her raven tresses, trying to coax her into relaxing now that she'd stopped fighting against him.

"I know, you hate me just as much as I hate you."

'_I'm glad you liked it. I love you with my whole heart…Kikyou…'_

"No, please Kami-sama, no." Kagome whispered as the words of the dream came back to haunt her. His whole heart…that would mean there was no room for her at all….

"Kagome?" Inuyasha became worried when she started to tremble. He picked her up and carried her to her bed where he sat her down. He then knelt down in front of her so that they were eye level.

"Kagome please tell me." He grasped her shaking fingers in his hands and tried to ignore the tremors in his own limbs.

"The dream, no the nightmare, it was differently a nightmare. It was in the past, and you were happy, and at first I was happy too, because I thought you were happy with _me._ I thought it was our son you were spinning around and teasing, I thought it was me carrying that baby in my womb; I thought it was me…that you loved…" She pulled away from his hands and hid her face in her upraised palms. Sob after sob threatened to overwhelm her but Kagome swallowed them all back down.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha's voice was hoarse with strain but she didn't look back up. It was best she not look at his face when she said this next part.

"But it wasn't me! It wasn't me in that field of flowers thinking up names for my baby! The child that looked so much like me wasn't mine…you…you weren't mine…Everything, everything belonged to her. To **_her_**. "Kagome ground out the last words passed a suddenly tight throat. She made the mistake of glancing up into Inuyasha's eyes and caught the expression of clear awe and wonder reflected in his eyes.

"I-I had a family?" He stood up and moved to stand in the middle of the room.

'_I've always been alone, with no family, 'sept for Sesshomaru but I really never counted him, but Kagome dreamed that I had a family? I had children and a wife…Wait, Kagome wasn't my mate?'_

"Y-yes, you had a family…with…with…**_her._**" Oh Kami-sama she couldn't say that name. If she spoke it out loud it would become true. Why did he have to look so pleased at the thought to having children with someone else? That phantom pain in her soul was back, throbbing to life to remind her that she wasn't whole, no matter how much his soul worked to fill in the gap. It was a continual reminder of a relationship and an old pain that she had no hope of overcoming.

"With who, Kagome?" Inuyasha had a good idea, but some perverse part of him needed to hear it out loud. He didn't miss the look of intense pain that flashed across her features and he felt his heart sink at his own callousness. He remembered the sounds of her gagging out the window as he was waking up, the sound of her choked sobs as he'd held her, the sound of her voice when she'd recited the dream. Suddenly a pain flared up inside of him that almost knocked him flat. It reminded him of the pain he'd felt when Kikyou had taken her away while he'd been fighting that centaur youkai. His eyes widened when he realized that somehow, even though he shouldn't have been able to feel her emotions as a normal human, this pain was hers. He was at her side again in less that a moment, but she just turned away from him.

"Don't make me say it, Inuyasha." Her words tumbled out in a broken plea as she curled up into a ball on top of her bed, "If I say it out loud it will come true." Another strangled sob pressed against the back of her throat and this time she didn't try to suppress it. Her frame was racked with such hard weeping that Inuyasha was truly afraid that she would shake apart. Her tears…he hated Kagome's tears. With a whimper that sounded more like a sob of his own, he lay down beside her and wrapped himself around her balled up form.

"I'm sorry, Kagome. It was just a dream. Just a nightmare. It's not going to come true. No one will take you from me, and if we choose to take our relationship that far, **_you_** will be the mother of my children. Not her…not Kikyou." The fact that he didn't blush or stutter when saying those words bespoke just how worried he was about Kagome. She uncurled a fraction and her sobs lessened up in force. Kagome was completely tucked under half of Inuyasha's side, nestled to him like the petals of a just-blooming rose.

"But the dream was so real, and you looked so happy when I told you about having a family with her…" Her voice was hoarse and it sounded like her nose was clogged up now, but Inuyasha didn't care. He was just glad that she was calming down enough to talk.

"It wasn't having a family with her that I was happy about, Kagome, it was the thought to having one at all. I was alone for so many years…" He let his words drift off as he pressed a kiss behind her ear. He held her until her shuddering stopped and until the only reminder of her tears was the occasional sniffle.

"So you wouldn't be happier if she…if she had your children?" Kagome whispered as she allowed him to tuck her head in the hollow between his neck and shoulder.

"It's impossible now Kagome, you're the only one I can have that kind of relationship with." What he really meant was that she was the only one he _wanted_ to have that kind of relationship with, but of course things never quite came out the way Inuyasha meant them. Kagome didn't have the strength to tense up, but her mind seemed to freeze.

'_You're just with me because you have no other choice? Will you look at me for the rest of your life and wonder 'what if'?'_ Those were her last thoughts before she dropped off to sleep. Moments later the first rays of morning light poured through Kagome's bedroom window and Inuyasha felt the first effects of his change back into a hanyou. Too bad it was a little too late for him to realize just how unsure Kagome still was.

* * *

"Ka-go-me, what in the fucking hell did you pack in this stupid yellow bag? Didn't we just bring back supplies the day before yesterday?" Inuyasha asked as he jerked up her ever-faithful backpack from its resting place at the bottom of the well. Kagome didn't bother to answer him, just raised up her hands so he could lift her out too. She'd been rather silent since she awoke this morning, but Inuyasha put it down to still being tired from the stress of yesterday.

He ignored her raised hands and instead hopped back down into the well with her. Kagome looked at him strangely but didn't question him when he wrapped his arms around her waist, but when he buried his nose into her hair she began to feel a little confused.

"Inuyasha?" She asked as she hesitantly reached out to wrap her arms loosely around his shoulders.

"I fucking hated not being able to _feel_ you in my head, Kagome. It was like there was this giant hole ripped in my heart…" His lips moving to form words as they were pressed to the flesh of her neck gave her a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach, but she tried to ignore it. He didn't mean what his words implied. After all he was only with her because he had no other choice.

"Don't think stupid shit like that bitch, you'll ruin the moment like you always accuse me of." His low growl vibrated against her throat because his face was still tucked tightly under her chin and Kagome felt her knees go a little weak. The fingers she'd been unknowingly running through his sliver strands tightened a bit and she fought the urge to tip her head back.

No, she couldn't let him do this to her…

"Do what to you?" Inuyasha smirked when he placed a slightly opened mouthed kiss to her pulse point and Kagome gasped in a sudden breath of air. He fought a losing battle with himself to pull away from her, after all, he'd only hugged her in the beginning to prove to himself that she was _really_ here; that he was _really_ feeling her again and it wasn't just a trick of his overactive imagination. But then she'd held him back, burying her fingers into his hair, and she smelled so…alive…

'_She still thinks I'm only here because I have no other choice, even after all I've fucking done to prove that I **care** for her. I'm tired to talking about it. She never listens anyway, but maybe I can **show** her just how much I want…need to be by her side.'_ That was really all the justification he needed to convince himself to continue to place slightly wet kisses down the line of her neck. He found that he really liked the little sounds she was making in the back of her throat at his actions.

"Inuyasha, you have to stop that…" Her hands moved to his shoulders as if she was going to push him away, and Inuyasha paused for a moment to see if she really would. He would stop the moment she pushed him even a little bit, he promised himself, but until then he was going to continue to **_show_** her that she belonged with him.

"Inuyasha…." Kagome couldn't finish her sentence because she was distracted by his hands moving from her waist down to her hips where his thumbs began to dance around in lazy circles against her skin.

"I'll stop if you push me away Kagome…"He whispered into her ear before nuzzling into her neck again. Kagome's hands trembled as they tightened around handfuls of his haori but for the life of her she couldn't find the will to push him away. She wanted to just give into the feelings he was provoking inside of her but…

"Inuyasha, this is wrong." She managed to get out before he could distract her again with his persuasive lips. Inuyasha stiffened a little and raised his head. His hands moved away from her hips and he stepped totally away from her, not far enough away to be out of her personally space, but enough so that she missed his warmth almost immediately. She made the mistake of looking up into his eyes and felt her stomach clench.

'_He's mad at me!'_ She took a step back, but Inuyasha followed her until her back was pressed up against the side of the well. He didn't touch her save a hand to her chin to gently force her to meet his gaze again.

"I'm not mad Kagome, just fucking confused! What do I have to do to prove to you that I _want_ to be with you! "He wasn't shouting, but she could feel his frustration radiating off him in waves. Kagome sadly shook her head placed a hand to his cheek.

"Inuyasha, you don't have to pretend to…like me…like this just because you have no other choice." His eyes flew open in shock and he had to take a step back, but not so far back that her hand was dislodged from his face.

"**_WHAT?"_**

"OKAA-CHAN! Oh, there you are!" Inuyasha jerked around and Kagome's hand fell away. He growled at the kit who was peeking down at them from the edge of the well and swore underneath his breath to kill him.

"Shippou! Kagome and I were having a private conversation! Go the fuck away and come back later!" He yelled up at the nosey fox-child and fought down the desire to scream. Why did everything in his life have to be so fucking frustrating all the damn time?

"Hmm, I don't think she wants to have that conversation." Shippou mused aloud as he peered down on the red-faced hanyou.

"What do you know about it?" Inuyasha sullenly demanded as he looked over at the dirt walls of the well to see if there were any loose stones large enough to hit Shippou with.

"Well, if she wanted to talk she would have stayed in the well with you instead of climbing out and walking toward the village." Shippou pointed out before turning away from the well and bouncing off in the direction his mother had taken.

'_3…2…1…'_

"KAGOME!"

"He's so predictable." Shippou mumbled to himself as he grasped Kagome's dangling hand. She looked down at him and forced a smile onto her trembling lips.

"Were you good while I was gone? Did you and Mame-chan get into any mischief that I should know about?" Her voice was a little shaky, and Shippou could tell that she was doing her best to ignore the yelling hanyou who was fast approaching them form behind. He carefully hopped up to her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her neck in a hug.

"You looked like you could use that, okaa-chan." He whispered into her ear before giving her a peck on the cheek. Kagome's face almost crumbled, but she managed to keep the tears at bay. There had been too much crying on her part recently and she realized if she was going to survive the next hundred or so years sane she'd have to learn to stem their flow. Kagome patted the baby kitsune on the head in thanks and drew in a deep breath. She could feel Inuyasha getting closer to them even though his screaming had finally stopped. She had to be prepared to convince him that they didn't need to talk about what had happened in the well, or last night for that matter. No, it would be better for everyone if they just forgot about those potentially awkward situations when emotions and hormones got the better of them.

"Bitch! Stop running away from me!" She ignored him of course, even though she could feel him trying to slow her down through their link.

"Hey, don't talk to her like that, can't you see your making her sad?" Shippou yelled back at him, feeling the need to defend his adopted mother. Inuyasha just growled at him, telling him clearly without words that he needed to fuck off and mind his own damn business.

"If she'd just fucking stop for one minute and listen to me I could take care of that sad part!" He reached out to spin her around to face him but he underestimated just what lengths Kagome was willing to go to keep him from touching her. She dodged out of his reach and picked up the pace. Inuyasha smirked a little.

'_She thinks she can out maneuver me? Maybe she hit her damn head while I wasn't looking.'_

Just as he was about to reach for her again, he realized why she'd sped up. In front of them, all pack up and ready to move out for a shard-hunt, was the monk and the exterminator. Too late Inuyasha caught on to Kagome's plan to use Sango's presence as a shield between them. There was no way he could get near her when Sango was looking at him like that and holding Hiraikotsu poised to strike if he even thought about approaching. Inuyasha settled for glaring in Kagome's direction and letting her know just how displeased he was through their link. It was times like these that he wished the whole hearing thoughts thing worked both ways, that way she _would have to listen to him whether she wanted to or not!_

"What all this for, were you going to go off shard hunting without us?" Inuyasha settled on focusing his frustration on a problem he could solve instead of the ones he had with Kagome at the moment. Miroku calmly adjusted his hold on his monk's staff before answering. To others, not as familiar with the mannerisms of this small group, the movement would have looked harmless, even serene. Inuyasha, who had spent a great deal of time watching over, and out for, his small 'pack', saw it for the nervous gesture that it was though.

"We did hear a rumor about a shard not far from here, and since we weren't sure when you and Kagome-sama would be back we decided to take care of it." That all sounded harmless enough. In fact lately, while Naraku had been silent, they'd often broken into groups of two if more than one shard-rumor came at once. But Inuyasha could sense that this was different.

There it was again, that nervous shift in the monk's weight from one foot to the other. The way he cut his eyes over toward Sango to see if she would contradict what he was saying. The way Shippou circle up in Kagome's arms and tried to look innocent while twisting strands of her hair together and apart over and over again. It was in the strangely tense atmosphere that hung over them like a thunderstorm caught on the peak of the mountain. All three of them knew something he didn't, and it was more than just the location of the next shard hunt.

"Okay, who wants to tell me the real reason your all in such a hurry to leave us behind?" He had to hand it to the monk; he never even flinched at being found out. No, it was his coconspirators that gave him away. Sango jerked a little, and her shoulders sagged ever-so-slightly while Shippou visibly deflated. Kagome glanced at him with worried eyes and left Sango's side to come stand beside him facing their friends. She seemed to have forgotten that the reason she'd been over there in the first place was because she'd been running from him, but he wasn't complaining. It'd be easier to catch her after this was over if she was within arms reach.

"What's going on? Has something happened? Did Sesshomaru come back after we left? Or did…Kouga…cause trouble for the village?" Up until that moment, Inuyasha had forgotten all about the visit the wolf-prince had paid them a few days ago. He turned narrowed eyes onto Miroku, daring him to try and lie his way out of this corner.

"No, Kagome-chan nothing like that! It's just a shard rumor. We thought you would be too tired to go on this one considering all you've been through this past month, but we knew that Inuyasha would never willingly be left behind. So we thought if we left before you got here…" It was Sango who spoke up this time, and her steady voice and gentle smile almost convinced him that her words were the truth. Except for the fact that she was white-knuckling the strap that kept Hiraikotsu firmly in place on her back. Still her version was closer to the truth than Miroku's had been.

"Oh, well, that was nice of you all, but really I'm fine. It's not like I do much on these hunts anyway besides sense the shikon shards and shoot a few arrows." She waved off their concern easily, but Inuyasha could feel her bitterness. Without taking his eyes off the lying couple he placed his hand on Kagome's waist and pulled her a little closer. His fingers found a few of the strands of her hair that hung down low and he played with their ends. He hated it when she acted like she wasn't needed, although he knew that a lot of the blame for her feeling that way rested on him. For a minute he thought she was going to ignore his touch, but then she leaned back into his palm slightly. Good, that meant she wasn't still mad at him, now onto the next idem business.

"If that was all then we can just go with you now. Kagome has enough shit packed in this bag that she shouldn't need to go to Baba's hut." He looked down at her to see if she needed to go, but Kagome shook her head signaling that she was fine with leaving now. "So tell me where the hell this shard's supposed to be!"

Miroku's gaze flickered to Sango's for a brief meaningful second before Sango frowned and took a step back. She refused to look at Inuyasha again as Miroku sighed in defeat. Inuyasha couldn't help the smirk that peeked out of the corners of his mouth momentarily at having won his battle of wills with the couple.

"Inuyasha…," Miroku tried one more time to get him to leave it alone, but the hanyou just growled low in his throat, "There have been other rumors besides the shards---"

"What? Is Naraku finally back!" Surly they wouldn't keep something like that from him!

"No…nothing like that. With the rumors of the boar youkai that's been destroying villages to the east of here, have come tales of a miko who feeds of the souls of dead maidens. They say she looks grunt and sickly and has made her presence very obvious to the population…She says she…waiting on someone…" Sango looked away from the pain she could see in Kagome's face when she recited the rumor. Inside she cursed herself for not getting the packs loaded onto Kirara's back sooner. If only they'd left the village a few minutes earlier!

"Kikyou." Kagome whispered to herself, her fingers unconsciously moving up her neck to where Inuyasha had been kissing her not an hour ago in the well. The dream she'd had the night before came back to haunt her and she felt bitterness raise up in her throat.

'_It's cruel. Fate is so very cruel.'_

"Maybe you're right about Kagome being too tired to make this trip." Inuyasha tightened his grip around her waist and pulled her a little closer to his side. He wasn't ready to face his old love right now, not when his feelings for the girl next to him, his _mate_, where so mixed up.

"No, we should go." She had her eyes closed when she said this, and Inuyasha had the sinking feeling that she was trying to hide her emotions from him.

"Kagome?" He turned her so that she was facing him, instead of standing by his side. He wanted to be able to see straight into her eyes so as not to miss even the tiniest glimmers of emotion.

"You can't run away from this forever Inuyasha. Sooner or later you'll have to see her again and decide what you want. But if you wait too long it might be too late." Her words were gentle but she still refused to open her eyes. He searched desperately inside himself for a clue to what was going on inside her head, but all he could feel was a strange muted sadness. He thought about her words in the well this morning and wondered if all of this was somehow connected.

"Keh, okay, we'll go, but don't think I've forgotten about this morning. We're still going to have that talk and this is _not_ going to turn into a repeat of the last time something was bothering you and you refused to tell me what it was. I plan on making you talk even if I have to hold you down. None of that trying to un-tie us or just sleeping for days shit this time Kagome." He whispered this in her ear and had to refrain from lightly nipping her earlobe to prove his point. Kagome shivered as if she was cold and nodded her head. Inuyasha grunted in satisfaction before turning around to address the rest of the group.

"If we're going to make it to a decent camping spot before night-fall we'd better get moving." He scooped Kagome up and settled her onto his back before anyone could respond and headed east.

Toward what, he didn't really know, but if it would prove to Kagome that he was ready to try and move on, then he'd go anywhere and do anything.

* * *

"OUCH!" Kagome quickly stuck her finger into her mouth before it could start bleeding. She glared down at the needle that was lying ever-so-innocently where she'd thrown it after it'd pricked her. She pulled the injured digit from her mouth with a sigh and went back to mending the rip on Shippou's pants. Sometimes she wished that his clothing would fix itself like Inuyasha's fire-rat fir did, then she wouldn't have to fight with that cursed needle to much.

"Are you okay, Kagome-chan?" Sango asked from a few feet away where she was wading around in the water looking for edible plant-life to go with tonight's dinner. Kagome looked up with a smile to reassure her older friend, but otherwise didn't say anything. She had felt uneasy all day, and with the coming of nightfall it was only getting worse.

_'Who would blame me for feeling uneasy? This was supposed to be a quick trip.'_

They had been on the road for three days, Miroku's 'close' shard rumor turning out to be a little bit farther to the east than he'd let on. With each passing day that they didn't stubble upon signs of the shard packing youkai, or Kikyou, the tension between Kagome's shoulders grew tighter and tighter. Since that stunt he'd pulled in the well, Inuyasha had kept his distance from her, or as much distance as he could keep these days, only touching her when she rode on his back while traveling and only talking to her when it was necessary. Kagome wasn't sure if she was happy about this new silence between them or not. Her dream, and his words, coupled with the impending meeting with Kikyou, had her worried about what was going through his mind. But she dared not ask, because she was afraid that he would force her to talk about what had happened in the well, and why she'd responded like she had.

The sound of splashing and laughter caught Kagome's attention just as she finished sewing the last stitch into Shippou's pants. She smiled as she looked toward the bend in the stream where her adopted son, his pet squirrel, and Kirara played in the water.

"Shippou-chan, I've finished fixing that rip! You need to start getting out of the water in about fifteen minutes so you can help me find some firewood!" She called as she began to repack her sewing supplies. Sango had left sometime while she'd been brooding and Kagome wondered absently how many plants she'd been able to find.

"Ah, can't Inuyasha find the wood? Mame-chan and me want to play a little longer!" He yelled while holding up the half-drowned squirrel to show her just how 'enthusiastic' the poor thing was to stay in the water. The squirrel's eyes pleaded with her to save him from a certain watery death and Kagome took pity on the soggy animal.

"No, you've been in there long enough to get clean! If you stay in any longer you'll turn into a fish-youkai!" She teased while pulling out a fluffy towel from her bath bag for him to dry off with. A movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she felt her blood run cold. One of Kikyou's soul-snatchers. Even though her blood froze, Kagome found that she wasn't surprised to see the creature weaving through the trees at the edge of forest; somehow she'd known that today would be the day they met up with Kikyou. Kirara's head came up and her silted eyes focused on the soul-gatherer before she glanced over at Kagome. The young miko shook her head slightly then motioned back toward camp. The fire-cat didn't look happy about being told to go back to camp, but she would do as she was told. Kagome hoped Kirara knew that she only sent her away because she needed someone to watch out for Shippou and not because she didn't trust the youkai-cat.

"Shippou-chan, I think I just saw a rare herb that Kaede's been looking for at the edge of the forest over there, I want to go gather some of it. I need you to go back to camp with Kirara so that the others will know where I am and not worry if I'm a little late." She told him, hoping that he hadn't noticed the snake-like creature fluttering at the tree line. He obviously hadn't because he did as she bid him without arguing.

"Okay, okaa-chan! I'll be sure to save you some of the fish Miroku and Inuyasha caught for dinner!" Her child smiled brightly at her and waved as he ran off toward the camp, fluffy cotton towel tied around his shoulders like a cape, pet squirrel clinging to him for dear life, and Kirara following reluctantly behind.

"Okay, take me to your mistress." Kagome spoke as soon as Shippou was out of hearing distance. She walked toward the edge of the forest as the soul-snatcher uncurled from the tree and began to twist deeper into the tree line.

_'Inuyasha, please forgive me.'_

* * *

_'"You don't have to pretend to like me," she says. "You can't run away forever." Keh, I'm not running away!_

_Sure you are that's why you haven't talked to her in three days._

_No, the reason I haven't said anything is cause she never listens to ANYTHING I say! Damn girl says I never listen…Why did I have to get tied to such a confusing bitch anyway? I'd have been better off…_

_So says the person who watches her sleep for hours every night because he like the way the dying firelight reflects in her hair. Face it, you haven't talked to her for three days because your afraid that she---'_

"Keh!" Inuyasha shook his head to clear that annoying little voice out. It bothered him that his inner voice sounded so much like Miroku. Without much thought he reached over toward the fire and turned some of the roasting fish over. Normally he didn't cook…but since he needed to stay near Kagome, but some how avoid her like the plague…Miroku was out scouting ahead to see if he could find any evidence of their query and Sango and Kagome were bathing and doing whatever else girls did….That left him alone to mind the fire and food.

Surprisingly he really didn't mind cooking, but he would never, not even upon pain of death, admit that out loud. His thoughts turned back inward and he barely acknowledged Sango when she came back into camp smelling like Kagome's soap and vegetables.

_'Something about this whole trip makes me uneasy. It's like a dark cloud's hanging over us at all times. I don't like that we've never even stumbled upon hints that there's a rampaging youkai boar in this area. And I would have at least smelled him. Those bastards are notorious for smelling worse than a week old battle field. I wonder who gave the monk his information. Fuck, I've been so distracted by Kagome lately that I didn't even think to ask. This could be some kind of trap!' _But he sensed nothing more than minor youkai in the area. There were a few humans scattered about that he could faintly smell, but none that would give a damn about them. This whole situation _felt_ like a trap, but…

_'Maybe I'm just paranoid. Miroku, surly he knew what he was doing when he chose to follow this rumor. Of course that still leaves the other rumor…_

_Kikyou._

_Why did she always seem to have the worst possible timing? Maybe she and Kagome did share more than a passing likeness of face…_

_You know they do, they both love you.'_

"Did she really love me, or just the idea of me?" He asked aloud. Sango was too busy cleaning the plants she'd pulled from the stream and the forest floor to hear his softly spoken words. Inuyasha stared pensively into the fire and turned the fish again.

Yes, he believed that Kikyou had loved him once. Had loved him enough to give up her duty, but…she hadn't trusted him.

But as Kagome said, how could she? She'd been raised to see all youkai, half or other wise as evil…and he had tried to steal the jewel once…

_'But you tried the same thing with Kagome too, and yet she still trusts you with her life. And even more than just that now, you own a part of her soul.'_ That tiny voice in his head whispered, making Inuyasha wish fervently that he could reach inside his head and give the fucking thing a good thrashing.

It always came down to one eternal question: Kagome or Kikyou. He'd thought that question had been answered for him when all this blessed shit had happened with Kagome. But he'd been wrong.

_'I lo…I care for Kagome…_

_Don't lie to yourself. You've loved her for a long time; you just couldn't seem to get up the courage to do anything about it. Now you have the right to do something about it, yet some how you still make a mess of things._

_I tried to show her that I cared! I tried telling her, and I tried showing her…nothing works! She made up her mind…I don't know what else to do…_

_Maybe you should try a combination of both—'_

_'**Inuyasha, please forgive me.'**_

Inuyasha's head shot up, all internal arguments with himself forgotten as her thoughts vibrated through his head. He stood up from where he'd been bent over the roasting fish and sniffed the air as her emotions came pouring into him like a flood. Well, really they'd always been there under the surface of his mind, boiling and rolling like a volatile tide, but he'd been so caught up with figuring out his problem that he'd ignored the unrest. He stiffened, his hand automatically flying to Tetsusaiga.

"Kagome…" Why was she feeling so sad and resigned? Why couldn't he fucking feel what was going on with her? She was in his head, yes, but she was starting to feel so...closed off…

"Did you say something, Inuyasha?" Sango asked as she momentarily stopped chopping vegetables for the stew that was bubbling next to his fish over the fire.

"Kagome was at the spring when you left, right?" He felt the sharp tug on his chest he'd come associate with being out of range from Kagome and he felt panic raise up in his chest. She was being taken away from him again! He probed for her mind again, this time harder than he'd ever pushed before, but she was like an elusive presence that slipped from his grip like water draining out a holey bucket.

_'Fuck! I smell grave soil on the wind. Kikyou is close by. Kagome where are you going?'_

"Something's wrong. I have to find Kagome, but I don't want any of you coming after us unless we aren't back by dawn tomorrow. It's time that Kagome and I finally settled some things."

"BUT! INU…yasha…." Sango tried to call him back, but the inu hanyou was already long gone. Just then Kirara and Shippou came running into the clearing.

"Sango-chan I think something bad's about to happen! I can smell dirt and ashes! That means---"

"Kikyou. I saw one of her soul catcher on my way back. I also saw Inuyasha go flying out of here, so I assume that he knows she is here too?" Miroku joined them and sat down calmly by the fire. His apparent peacefulness with the chaos going on around him should have been funny if anyone there had been inclined to laugh. The way he just sat down and started tending to the fish Inuyasha had left behind made everyone else pause in their mad scramble for weapons.

"Houshi-sama! Aren't we going to help Inuyasha and Kagome-chan?" Sango asked looking over at him from where she stood; ready to mount a fully transformed Kirara.

"No, this is something those two must take care of this themselves if they ever hope to find happiness together in the long years to come." At his words they all put their weapons down and settled beside the fire to silently eat the meal that suddenly seemed like too much food because they were missing two of their number. But they didn't relax. How could they when they all knew that if was a real possibility that they could lose people they loved tonight forever?

* * *

The forest was as still as the grave. The thick foliage kept all but a trickle of sunlight out, and what little illumination that did enter fell in muted, dappled patterns upon the ground. Not even a whisper of wind stirred through the trees and there was an abnormal silence shrouding the place more fitted for a Shrine to the dead than a healthy forest. Kagome followed in the translucent wake of the soul-snatcher and tried to keep her racing heart and breathing under control. She knew enough about her miko powers to know that for her own protection she had to stay calm even though all she wanted to do right now was to run as fast as her feet could carry her in the opposite direction. She felt the familiar, odd, wrenching feeling in her chest that told her she was traveling too far from Inuyasha, but in was different somehow. It was like a new level of discomfort had been added to the experience. Kagome absently placed her hand above her heart in a futile effort to soothe the pain away.

It was as if she was a rope being tugged at by both ends.

She couldn't explain what she was feeling. But something was pulling her forward just as surely as Inuyasha was trying to pull her back. Oh, yes, she could feel him in her mind, tweaking at her senses, trying to make her stop, or at least slow down so he could find her. But she didn't want to stop and she didn't want him involved with this. It was something that had to be between her and her incarnation.

Something between two women who loved the same man.

So she kept following the graceful creature and worked to cover her scent as she had the last time she'd tried to get away from Inuyasha. He would be frantic at not being able to track her, but she didn't let herself dwell on that thought. She couldn't let the thought of his distress deter her if she was going to be strong and get through this alone.

"Your mistress is close by isn't she? We have to do this quickly before Inuyasha becomes desperate enough to start ripping the forest apart.

"I agree with you." Kagome jerked her head to the side and caught sight of her predecessor gliding toward her from one of the forest side-paths. The soul-stealer did a happy twirl through the air and left Kagome's side to join its brothers clustered around the undead miko. Kikyou reached out a frail hand and caressed its pale flesh as a welcome back. Kagome could barely recognize the change that had overtaken the undead miko. She was deathly pale, with sunken in eyes ringed with dark smudges that stood out like ink blots on pristine parchment. Her limbs looked like trembling sticks in a maelstrom. Kagome felt another painful tug at her soul, and this time she knew instinctively that it wasn't Inuyasha's soul that was calling her.

It was her own.

Kikyou smiled, more a mirthless grimace than a true show of friendship and clutched at her own heart. The youkai around her moved restlessly, like small children who had spent too many days inside because to the rain.

"Do you see what I've become because of you?" At least her voice as still strong, although it cracked and sounded like it was coming from an over dry throat, "The pain you feel now is the part of our soul that I have wanting you to accept it back. There is pain because you do not have a place for it anymore."

"I…we…have cause this to happen to you?" Kagome tired in vain to keep her voice steady. She'd never expected to see Kikyou looking anything but ethereal, and now the woman looked skeletal and…ready to die. In the back of her mind she felt Inuyasha respond to her shock with a blast of frantic emotion and she finally relaxed her hold on the spell that was keeping him from scenting her out. It would take him a moment to pick it up, but it should calm his nerves enough to keep him from leveling the trees.

"What did you expect? I told you your bond would destroy me. Did you expect me to just melt away like clay in water? No, my body is human enough even if it's origins are not. But I do not have much time left. Inuyasha must make his choice soon or it will be too late for me." As she finished Kikyou as racked by a fit of coughing that sent her youkai helpers into a frenzy.

"There isn't anything we can do for you. I tried to un-tie my soul from Inuyasha's but all that did was almost kill us. I…I wish for his sake…and yours that this could be undone…but there is no way." Kagome turned her back on the miko and put a few more feet between them. The pressure in her chest eased up marginally and she sighed in relief.

"You are more foolish than I thought. Of course there is a way to undo this travesty. You have your sight back now, that is all that was holding him last we met. It should be a relatively easy thing to do." Kagome felt anger slowly begin to kindle in the pit of her stomach at Kikyou's words and amused tone, but she carefully hid it from her eyes. Inuyasha was coming upon their right fast, and she braced herself for the yelling and the cursing that would accompany him.

"How do you plan to unbind us?" She asked as she listened for the sounds only frantic, pissed off hanyous tearing through forests make.

"That's not gonna happen! Ever!" Inuyasha apparently had heard her words as he came careening out of the trees to stand heaving within a few feet from either woman. Kagome noticed the white knuckle grip he had on the Tetsusaiga and the fading scarlet color in his eyes and she felt a sharp stab of fear and guilt. Inuyasha had been close to transforming because of her. His relief at seeing her looking whole and unharmed washed over her and Kagome had to struggle to not choke on the immediate wave of guilt that followed. She'd caused him pain again.

"Kagome, are you all right?" He looked ready to rush to her side, but something held him in place between the two women.

"I'm fine, Inuyasha. Kikyou only wanted to talk." Kagome knew exactly when he noticed Kikyou's haggard appearance because a sharp knife of grief, shock and emotional pain stabbed into her head with enough force to knock the breath from her lungs. Inuyasha made a move toward his old love, but Kagome's binding over in pain stopped him. He didn't know which one to go to, didn't know what to do. It felt as if his heart was being torn apart by its very seams. He'd thought he was passed this.

"Does my appearance shock you? It shocked my copy."

"Kikyou, what---"

"I told her this would happen Inuyasha! And I told you that the day was coming when you would have to choose between us! I have but a few weeks left on this plane, are you going to let me die for a second time? This little girl does not belong in this time! The powers that be only brought her here because I could not fulfill the role fate had given me! She was never supposed to be a part of this. It should be us hunting down Naraku, together, as we were before he led us to betrayal. Naraku has never taken anything precious from her, how could she even hope to understand the pain he has caused us?" Kikyou moved closer to Inuyasha and reached out her hand to him. His face was awash with old memories and scars that Kagome could never hope to understand. She waited in vain for Inuyasha to defend her to Kikyou in some way. To defend her right to be here with him, but he never spoke up, just stared at the offered hand with unreadable eyes. She felt a bit of her newly grown hope that Inuyasha would ever be hers start to wither.

"In the beginning I might not have understood anything about Naraku but his evilness. But now, don't think you are the only one whose ever been dealt pain from his hand! I have watched my friends suffer! I have watched those I love most in the world almost die because of him! I have just as much at stake in seeing him defeated as you do! I might not be from this time, but do you think a dead miko has anymore of a place in this world?" Kagome was so angry by the end of her speech that her vision was blurring. She could feel the unfamiliar internal throbbing that only accrued when her miko energy was ready to burst forth and she instinctively knew that if she didn't get and handle on herself she'd purify everything within a one mile radius, Inuyasha included.

"You don't understand what you are talking about, even though you think you do." Kikyou looked at her with a dispassionate gaze that normally made Kagome shiver, but today made her anger boil up even farther until it almost suffocated her. She could feel Inuyasha making a feeble attempt to soothe her, but he wasn't doing much. She clamped down tightly on her energy just as her hands began to glow pink and focused on remaining calm. When she opened her eyes again Kikyou was smirking at her.

"I see you've gained a little control over your powers. I hadn't expected you to ever master even this much." She didn't wait for Kagome's response before she turned to Inuyasha, ignoring the younger miko totally.

"You made a promise to me, or don't you remember? You said that your life was mine, but then you gave your soul to this child. I want to live to see Naraku pay for all the things he'd done to us! How can I do that if you let me crumble away?" For the first time Kagome heard Kikyou's voice stripped bare and full of raw emotion. The undead miko was desperate to live. Almost as mush as Kagome was desperate for Inuyasha's unconditional love. The irony of the situation wasn't lost of Kagome; she guessed the philosophers were right when they said that the biggest obstacle to one's true happiness is oneself.

A sudden fit of racking coughs from Kikyou brought Kagome out of her thoughts. She was sure the other woman would have coughed up blood if it had been possible for her to. Kagome saw Inuyasha jerk with each of the thick, rough, wet noises, felt his desire to run to his old love's side so keenly she could taste it, and she knew that her presence was the only thing holding him back. Once again she had become the intruder. Maybe she really didn't belong in this world. Something inside of her that had been holding out since the very first time she'd seen them together became utterly fragile in that moment. It was like the fine cracks that spider-webbed through grass right before it shattered into a million unrecognizable pieces. Kagome tried valiantly to keep that place inside of her from fracturing…

Inuyasha took a step toward the still coughing Kikyou.

Kagome broke.

No, it wasn't like the rupturing of a dam where all the water rushes out. It wasn't even like a rip in cloth, or the shattering of a mirror. The feeling was more like that of a broken bone, minus the pain. Something, the last of her hope or maybe faith, snapped, and now she was just curiously numb. The only thing she could feel was Inuyasha's torrent of emotions pounding into her skull, and she locked them away and sealed them out of her mind. She blocked out everything until her mind was silent, until she was alone with her thoughts.

"Inuyasha, you should do to her, she needs you." Kagome said when she noticed that he still hadn't made it all the way over to the barely standing woman. He looked as if he was frozen in mid-step and he was clutching at his heart as if he was in pain. Kagome wondered absently if something inside of him had snapped too.

"Kikyou, just how do you plan to unbind us? We've met half the requirements for inu-youkai mating and were under the impression that it is an impossible thing to undo." Kagome addressed the other miko with no expression, eyes clear and focused, but blank. Kikyou noted this but was too weak to comment.

"Normally yes, but we share something most do not. All that I need to stay in this plane of existence is a fragment of a soul to tie me to the living world through another person. I had that in you until Inuyasha's soul filled in the gap. Now you are tied to him and I am…fading away….But if I gave you back the piece of your soul that I took when I first came back into being, and you let go of the part of your soul that is tied to Inuyasha…"She left her sentence dangling with a small hand gesture. Her reincarnation was smart enough to figure out the rest.

"Then you would be the one bound to Inuyasha, made more alive than you are now because his soul's strength, and I would no longer be needed." Kagome spared Inuyasha a glance up he appeared to be lost in his own inner battle over what to do.

"Yes." Kikyou's one word reply was only a whisper, but it echoed out into the forest like the sound of a final death blow. Images from the dream Kagome'd had the last night they'd been in her time haunted her.

**_'I'm glad you liked it. I love you with my whole heart…Kikyou…''_**

Then the scene that followed…

**_'I-I had a family?_**

**_"So you wouldn't be happier if she…if she had your children?" Kagome whispered as she allowed him to tuck her head in the hollow between his neck and shoulder._**

**_"It's impossible now Kagome, you're the only one I can have that kind of relationship with."' _**

****

Kagome let the memories fade to the back of her mind so that they too could be locked away with Inuyasha's presence.

_'I will not force him to choose. I should have known that was no ordinary dream. I should have known that I could never really belong here. I refuse to be her replacement any longer.'_

"Whatever you have to do, do it quickly." She growled out. _'Yes, quickly before I change my mind…'_

* * *

Inuyasha felt like he was swimming up through a dense fog. It swirled around him like a vulture awaiting for it's prey to finally give up the fight for life. He fought to come out of the confusion he was buried under but it was the worst struggle of his life.

_'Kagome, where is Kagome?'_ He felt around to her but couldn't find her away where.

_'Where am I?_

_What am I doing here?_

_I can't remember…'_ He could feel that he wasn't dreaming, but knew that he wasn't asleep. Voice echoing outside tickled his ears but he couldn't seem to focus on them no matter how hard he tried.

**"Kikyou, just how do you plan to unbind us..."**

That was Kagome's voice. It was coming back to him slowly now. He'd been standing between the two mikos, torn over which one to go to, the one who was obviously dying before his eyes, or the one that was in so much confusion that he felt it like a physical pain in his bones, when he'd felt something inside of him self go slack.

Kagome had disappeared from his mind. He could no longer feel her, only a gaping emptiness that sent his soul reeling into the greyness.

**"…gave you back the piece of your soul that I took when I first came back into being, and you let go of the part of your soul that is tied to Inuyasha…"** He recognized Kikyou's voice too although it was hoarse and cracking from her coughing fit. As the meaning of her words sunk in Inuyasha rebelled more strongly against the clutches of the fog. **No**, Kagome would never let Kikyou do such a thing! She would never willing unbind herself from him. He cast about franticly for any bit of her in his mind that he could find.

**"What ever you have to do, do it quickly."**

He found what he was looking for. Weakly gleaming in the far corner of his mind, dimmed by the fog, was the red cord that tied him to Kagome. He desperately reached for it and held it tightly to him, hoping against hope that it was enough to keep Kagome with him, but knowing instinctively that it was not.

"NO! Fuck, just stop! Don't either of you even think about transferring pieces of soul!" He managed to scream out as he fought back to the surface of his mind and out of the clinging fog. He noticed how close the two mikos were standing, how their finger tips were almost touching, could feel the swirl of magic that was beginning to form around them and he made a wild leap to come between them. They looked at him with mirrored facial expressions, but different eyes. Kikyou's were desperate. Kagome's were resigned.

"Inuyasha?" Her voice was stripped of everything that made her Kagome, and the last of the fogginess that had clung to his brain was shaken off. He felt the slow anger build up within him when he realized exactly what she was trying to do. He growled low in his throat.

She was trying to unbind their souls again.

She was blocking him out of her head.

He felt the scarlet begin to bleed into his eyes and he grabbed for his sword again. He wouldn't let her do this. Ever.

"Why?" He looked at her with eyes mixed with red and amber, eyes that screamed anger and cried betrayal, "Why are you doing this? You promised you'd never try and leave me again." He was facing her with Kikyou at his back, standing close enough feel her breath fanning out across his chest, but not close enough to touch her. Kagome looked up and met his gaze, but regretted it when she felt the walls she'd built so hastily between them crack. She looked away and tried to explain it to him.

"This is for your own good Inuyasha. Kikyou is your true soul-mate. That is what that dream was trying to tell me. You're only with me because you had no other choice, but now she's offering a way for you to be free from me." Here she stopped to choke out a bitter laugh, that might have been sob before continuing, "Isn't my being weaker than her what started all this? I couldn't master even the weakest of miko spells and you teased me? Now you can have the real thing, and because…because of the kind of bond you'd have with her, she'd be…more alive…not quite human, but alive…I don't…I don't think she'd have to steal the souls of young girls anymore…You could be happy with her."

"Inuyasha you must make your choice now. Her or me?" Kikyou moved around so that she was standing next to Kagome, shoulder to shoulder, but her breath was too shallow for him to feel. He looked at both women, so much alike, but eternally different. Who did he want to send the rest of his mortal life and beyond with?

_'Kagome…'_

But was he prepared to be instrumental in Kikyou's death again? Could he go on living happily knowing that his joy was built upon her destruction? But on the flip side, did he want to trust her to protect part of his immortal soul? Kikyou had tired to kill him numerous times since she'd been resurrected while Kagome had done everything within her power to save his life. Kagome had cried for him. Kikyou had always had her own things to shed tears over. Kagome loved him. Kikyou felt hatred for him. Kagome trusted him. Kagome wanted him for more than just vengeance.

Kagome was also trying her hardest to get away from him.

The growling was back, only this time it wasn't low in this throat. It all came down to that eternal question. Kikyou or Kagome, Inuyasha?

_'If only I could save them both…'_

"Damn! Don't make me choose! I've promised to protect you both! I don't fucking know what to do! Do I forfeit my claim on the only person who's ever loved me for me and tie myself to a woman who wants to drag my soul into the abyss? Do you know what you're both asking me to do? I CAN'T DO THIS!" He turned his back on both of them, unable to look at them anymore. His stomach churned and he wondered if he was going to throw up.

"You can't have both of us, Inuyasha. I only have a few weeks left, but I will give you a little more time, if that's what you need." With a weak wave of her hand Kikyou called her youkai to her self and disappeared into the sky. Silence reined in the small clearing for a moment then Inuyasha swung around and peered at Kagome with a piercing glare.

"What the hell were you thinking, bitch! She could have killed you, or worse stolen all of your soul! I can't believe---"

"I was doing it for you! Everything I do is always for you! Can't you see that I was only trying to make you happy!" Kagome was feeling the return of her emotions now, anger being the chief.

"BY UNBINDING US?" He roared. "You're my **mate**! How was that supposed to make me **_happy?_**" He advanced on her, and she backed up as he came. She'd never seen quite that look in his eye.

"I didn't see you arguing with it while we were talking about it! You just sat there as she started the spell and never said one word! What was I supposed to think? You basically agreed with her that I didn't **_belong here_**." She stopped once her back was resting against a large tree. She didn't have to worry about him coming any closer because her words had stopped him in his tracks.

"Is that what you think? That I didn't say anything because I wanted to be with her? After everything I've done and said to you these last few weeks, you still think I care for her more than I care for you?" He was no longer shouting, but his voice had dropped down into that low tone that was more animal than human he only used when he was beyond pissed. She pushed away from the tree and continued to back up, and he followed, stalking her now.

"Don't you? Have you forgotten that I can also feel your emotions through our bond? I know you wanted to go to her, and that I was the only thing that was holding you back." Kagome tripped slightly over an exposed root but didn't fall. When she looked back up, Inuyasha was much closer than he should have been.

"Do you want to know why I didn't say anything while you and Kikyou were talking?" He asked ignoring that she'd even spoken, "When you locked me out of your head it hurt so much that the backlash almost had me lost in my own mind. It felt like those first few moments after I was sealed to that fucking tree! I still can't feel you!"

"I couldn't stand it any more! I couldn't stand knowing how much you still loved her! You only stay with me because you have to and I hate it! If you can't love me because I'm me I don't want…I can't…I can't just live like that anymore!" There it was out. He would come to his senses and go chasing after Kikyou now. Kagome actually stopped backing up in anticipation of him leaving her. She was shocked when he kept coming closer. Kagome stumbled backward and almost fell this time but caught herself on a tree that she then leaned back onto for support. Why was she still here?

"Why do you keep saying that? What's makes you think that I don't want to be with you? Fucking hell, bitch! I've tried everything I know to prove to you that I'm happy with this! What more do you need!" He was close enough to touch her now, but he didn't. His body was too tense to do anything but stand there and look down at her.

"I keep saying it Inuyasha because it's the truth. You told me that having a family with Kikyou was impossible for you because of me! Do you think I want to be stuck in a relationship that could possibly last the next millennia with someone who can't love me? I want someone who sees Kagome when they look at me, not their dead lover!" She was still seething, her slipping control over her powers making it's self known again. Part of her wanted to just let go of the power raging inside. All her problems would just disappear if she did that but then history would be repeating itself. She'd be killing Inuyasha just like Kikyou had with that sealing arrow.

"**_Your Mine_**" He growled out through clenched teeth. The very thought of her with someone else made him want to rip everything in his path apart. His youkai side was screaming at him to make her take her words back, and for once his human side was angry enough to agree.

"Are we back to that "Your Mine" crap again? That's all you ever say to me, like it's the end all to every argument! I can't even talk about trying to love someone else without you growling that out. Yet whenever Kikyou drifts by you go chasing after her! And I'm not allowed to say anything because, hey you two have a past and no ones aloud to touch that sacred cow! I want to know when you become mine! When am I allowed to fight for you? When am I allowed to stop feeling like an intruder, an outsider? If I belong to you then you should belong to me! Or Maybe it would please you more it I were dead! If I were dead and some witch desiring power brought me back, would you love me then?" She screamed out. " Would you love me, finally belong to me if I was only walking ash and clay like **her**?" Before she could catch her breath to yell again Inuyasha slammed his hands into the bark above her head. The loud sound of flesh hitting stone made her mouth click shut in an automatic response. He pressed his face close to hers and Kagome was finally forced to meet his beyond angry golden gaze.

"If I **_ever_** hear such bull shit come out of your mouth again I'll…" His voice was harsh in her ears. Everything in her told her to look away, to forget why they were fighting in the first place, but she couldn't let this go. Couldn't allow herself to just forgive and forget this time.

"You'll what, Inuyasha? You can't stop me from speaking the **truth**!" Her eyes held nothing but defiance and determination, but inside she was a mess. They were so close now that she couldn't help but breathe in some of his used oxygen with every breath.

"I **_can_** stop you from talking bitch! And if you don't think I will, just try me. I know what your trying to do, you're so scared that I'm going to up and leave you that your trying to make it impossible for me to stay! This isn't about Kikyou dying, or the dream you had the other night. This isn't even about how _you think _I feel. This is about you being to afraid to fucking accept that I love you!" She couldn't breath. No, he couldn't mean that. There was no way that he loved her. She'd felt what he felt for Kikyou. Saw the pain in his eyes….The wall that she'd built to keep him out started to crumble and the first trickles of his emotions started seeping into his mind.

_'No, no no no no! What am I supposed to do?'_

"You can't mean that---"

"To hell with this." He swore with a low growl before pressing his lips to hers in a bruising kiss. His eyes burned into hers the whole time, not letting her look away. She gasp when one of his hands found it's way to her waist. Inuyasha used her surprise to deepen the kiss. He was desperate to prove to them both how untrue her words were. To prove that he loved her like he said he did. To prove that she was the one he wanted by his side for all time. He felt the dam she'd put up between them finally shatter and he almost drowned in the feeling of _Kagome_. She was back in his mind. A wreck emotionally, but he didn't care. As long as she was here, apart of him, he didn't care. She was wholly his again. He quickly found the place that was purely her in his mind and sent her a wave of emotion to match the feelings he was trying to put into the kiss.

As for Kagome, her protection against Inuyasha was finally broken, but she couldn't find the will to care. His assaults on her senses were leaving her weak in the knees. Her eyes began to grow heavy lidded, but she still couldn't look away from his burning amber gaze. She moaned and gave up the fight to not kiss him back. Inuyasha's other hand moved from the tree and into her hair. He pulled her head back ,with a gentleness that belied his rough treatment of her lips, so that he could gain a greater access to her mouth.

Some where in the back of his mind he acknowledged that this wasn't just about giving her proof anymore, but he tried valiantly to ignore those more primal instincts as Kagome tentively started to explore his mouth in the same fashion he was using to probe hers. One of his sharp fangs bit into her questing tongue and the bittersweet taste of blood filled their mouths. Inuyasha suddenly pulled away from her, breathing heavy. The taste of her blood on his tongue had almost cost him his control over his instincts.

Damn, how he _wanted _her….

What he _wanted_ to do _to_ her…

He finally broke eye contact with her glazed over eyes as he licked at the stream of red trickling out of the corners of her swollen lips. He leaned his forehead against hers and struggled to calm his racing heart.

"I like you alive and warm, Koishii. Not cold like Kikyou. And if you don't believe me still, I'd be happy to try and prove it to you as many times as I have to."

* * *

T.B.C

A/N

AHHHHH!

Can you believe it? That chapter was just short of 30 pages long!

Was it worth the wait to see Inuyasha declare his love?

I hope so.

That last seen, from the time he declares "Your mine." Until the end has been written since about September…I've just been waiting for the right time to work it in…

I know some of you won't find it as steamy as I did…but the whole bleeding thing….

Okay…so I'm strange like that…It's the goth in me I guess…

But I have to say that I'm overwhelmingly happy with this chapter. I hope it didn't disappoint any of you.

On a more serious note, thank you all for your emails and reviews in regards to the death of my grandfather. I couldn't have gotten through it without you all supporting me.

**Hitomi's Handy Dandy Guide to things that _might_ have been a _little_ confusing in this chapter:**

**What in the hell was up with Kagome's dream? **_I really had you going there didn't I? Okay I'm evil…I knew that in the previous chapter's Inuyasha had almost gotten her to trust him with her heart. He was just being sooo sweet. And I didn't have the heart to make him do anything horrible so…I gave her a bad dream…_

**What the hell was Inuyasha trying to pull in the well? **_Ehehehe__…seduce her? I guess he was kida fustrated because he thought they were passed all that shit and then well Kagome wasn't over it…I mean the poor guy practically agreed to have a family with her…eesh…_

**The clay pot always causes them SOOOO much trouble! Are you going to kill her? **_I hope that I didn't turn her into a bitch this time. I truly am getting sick of Kikyou being portrayed as a slut who only cares for herself. Okay I know she's easy to target, but come on, in some of the later eps. she's really nice! Kinda…sorta…Just know that I don't hate her! And I feel sorry for her a lot…And as for if I'm going to kill her…erg…stick around and you'll find out in about…a chapter or two? Depends on the plot bunnies…_

**Does Inuyasha _really_ love Kagome, or is this just an evil plot thought up by the crazed author?**_ Yes Inuyasha is now in this for the long haul and now he'd gonna be hell bent on seducing Kagome. Don't worry kiddies, this fic will stay PG-13._

I guess that about wraps everything up…Remember that I love you all, and that I have finals coming up next week. I hope to see you sometime in the future…I hope…


	15. I Wish You Would

_Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just having fun with them until the men in the pretty white coats come back to take my toys away. Remember that there were no hanyous harmed in the making of this chapter. The band and record company own the single sentence from the song I WISH YOU WOULD that I used._

_AN: Thanks for waiting so long guys. My life keeps falling apart at the seams but maybe I've got it pined back up right now. _

_In other news this story won first place in the IY fanguilds quaterly contest! I think it took best romance! I'm so proud I think I smiled for a sold week! Thanks to all of you who voted for me and made it possible! I don't deserve just high awards and praise!_

**:RECAP:**

"_You'll what, Inuyasha? You can't stop me from speaking the **truth**!" Her eyes held nothing but defiance and determination, but inside she was a mess. They were so close now that she couldn't help but breathe in some of his used oxygen with every breath._

"_I **can** stop you from talking bitch! And if you don't think I will, just try me. I know what you're trying to do, you're so scared that I'm going to up and leave you that you're trying to make it impossible for me to stay! This isn't about Kikyou dying, or the dream you had the other night. This isn't even about how you think I feel. This is about you being too afraid to fucking accept that I love you!" She couldn't breath. No, he couldn't mean that. There was no way that he loved her. She'd felt what he felt for Kikyou. Saw the pain in his eyes….The wall that she'd built to keep him out started to crumble and the first trickles of his emotions started seeping into her mind._

'_No, no no no no! What am I supposed to do?'_

"_You can't mean that---"_

"_To hell with this." He swore with a low growl before pressing his lips to hers in a bruising kiss. His eyes burned into hers the whole time, not letting her look away. She gasp when one of his hands found it's way to her waist. Inuyasha used her surprise to deepen the kiss. He was desperate to prove to them both how untrue her words were. To prove that he loved her like he said he did. To prove that she was the one he wanted by his side for all time. He felt the dam she'd put up between them finally shatter and he almost drowned in the feeling of Kagome. She was back in his mind. A wreck emotionally, but he didn't care. As long as she was here, apart of him, he didn't care. She was wholly his again. He quickly found the place that was purely her in his mind and sent her a wave of emotion to match the feelings he was trying to put into the kiss._

_As for Kagome, her protection against Inuyasha was finally broken, but she couldn't find the will to care. His assaults on her senses were leaving her weak in the knees. Her eyes began to grow heavy lidded, but she still couldn't look away from his burning amber gaze. She moaned and gave up the fight to not kiss him back. Inuyasha's other hand moved from the tree and into her hair. He pulled her head back ,with a gentleness that belied his rough treatment of her lips, so that he could gain a greater access to her mouth. _

_Some where in the back of his mind he acknowledged that this wasn't just about giving her proof anymore, but he tried valiantly to ignore those more primal instincts as Kagome tentively started to explore his mouth in the same fashion he was using to probe hers. One of his sharp fangs bit into her questing tongue and the bittersweet taste of blood filled their mouths. Inuyasha suddenly pulled away from her, breathing heavy. The taste of her blood on his tongue had almost cost him his control over his instincts. _

_Damn, how he wanted her…._

_Wanted to do to her…_

_He finally broke eye contact with her glazed over eyes as he licked at the stream of red trickling out of the corners of her swollen lips. He leaned his forehead against hers and struggled to calm his racing heart._

"_I like you alive and warm, Koishii. Not dead like Kikyou. And if you don't believe me still, I'd be happy to try and prove it to you as many times as I have to."_

**:END RECAP:**

Chapter 15: I Wish You Would

_

* * *

But tonight I made a wish and I sure hope that it comes true

* * *

_

It was raining. Hard. Great sheets of water cascaded from the sky in a torrent. To Kagome it seemed as if the very angels in heaven were weeping. And at the moment she felt like joining them. Inuyasha has kissed her the night before. Not a tender, sweet kiss, but one that seared her very insides with its angry passion.

He'd also said he loved her….

Her lips still felt slightly bruised….

She raised a tenitive hand to her lips to feel the slightly puffy flesh. On their on accord her eyes drifted to where the object of her affection and frustration sat. He was watching her again. This time he'd caught her with her fingers presses to her lips. Inuyasha has the nerve to smirk at her and to raise one eyebrow. It was as if declaring his love for her had somehow freed a hidden part of himself. Unbidden, her memories of the night before came swirling back to her with a torrent of emotions that had her insides raging with a force that could rival the storm brewing outside. In the back of her mind she was thankful that they'd been able to find lodging in the village elder's hut before the thunder-storm had hit.

"_I like you alive and warm, Koishii. Not dead like Kikyou. And if you don't believe me still, I'd be happy to try and prove it to you as many times as I have to." _He'd said those words and then pressed another series of kissed to her face and forehead, growling quietly as he reassured himself that she was hale and whole. Kagome was still too caught up in the feelings his kiss had ignited in her mind and body to pay much attention to where his hands roved. If she hadn't been so dazed she surly would have sat him, no matter how much pain she would have felt as a result.

He picked her up then, bridal style, and started to carry her back through the forest toward where they're friends were waiting for them.

"I'm yours Kagome." He'd whispered that just before they came into sight of the camp fire, nipping at her ear a little to underline his point. She'd felt so overwhelmed then. Inuyasha loved her. But he was supposed to love Kikyou. This was her greatest dream and her worst nightmare rolled up into one. Her greatest dream because she'd loved her hanyou for years, worst nightmare because every time she'd let herself hope that his feelings for her were more than simple friendship she'd been crushed by the weight of Kikyou's ever present, perfect, shadow. It was even worse this time, because they weren't just simple friends anymore, could never be simply friends again. Things would never go back to being safe and comfortable again. Kagome was going to have to make a choice too, just like Inuyasha.

Love out of a limb, or staying in your safety zone, Kagome?

It was a question that had been staring her in the face for a while and she'd been refusing to answer it up until now. Kagome had just assumed that Inuyasha would choose Kikyou before she had to make up her mind. She'd never expected that he would choose her. She had what she'd always hoped for, but now she didn't know what to do with it.

It was all very confusing.

And Kagome would have liked to go off alone to think about it, but Inuyasha refused to let her out of his sight…or out of his arms for that matter. He'd only sat her down long enough to let her eat then he'd scooped her back up again. Of course she'd protested but he'd only glared down at her saying: "Keh, every time I let you out of my sight you try to untie our bound, hell you even tried to give away part of my soul this time! I'm not letting you out of my sight tonight Kagome, so just forget about it and stop squirming."

In anger she had thought about trying to block him again, but the frantic way he'd clutched at her and buried his face into her hair had removed that thought from her head. She'd apologized then by wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. Inuyasha had silently taken that as her consent and jumped up into the branches of one of the overhanging trees to rest for the night.

The next morning Kagome had woken up as Inuyasha sat her feet on the ground. He'd held her for a moment until she'd gained her balance…kissed her in clear view of all their friends much to the amusement of Miroku…and then had the nerve to smirk when she blushed.

And he'd been acting like that all day. Every time she got close enough for him to steal a kiss or a soft touch he did and always with that smirk on his face. And frankly Kagome was getting tired of that smirk and the confusion that went with it. Although all those kisses were kind of nice…

Kagome felt her face begin to heat up again. With a sound of frustration that came from the very depths of her soul, she got up and jerked on her yellow raincoat. She couldn't stand to be in the close confines of the hut any longer. She was going to get some time to herself away from that smirking hanyou right now, whether he liked it or not.

"Kagome-sama, where are you going?" Miroku asked as the girl marched passed him toward the water bucket in the corner.

"To get fresh water." She all but growled not even sparing Inuyasha a glance.

"But we have," He pointed toward the full water pail, "enough to last us a good while. Surely you don't want to go out in the rain?" Kagome picked up the pail with a little difficulty and managed to slosh half its contents into the ashes of the cook fire.

"Looks like we need some more." She could feel Inuyasha's laughing eyes as she made her excuse to leave. If she didn't love him so much she would have killed him at that moment.

"Let her go out if she wants to." Inuyasha spoke up for the first time. Kagome ignored him.

"But Inuyasha, if she goes out in this rain she could get sick." Sango pointed out. Kagome sent her friend a glare. She was not helping.

"Keh, no she won't." Kagome started out again, thinking that the matter was over, that he'd finally decided to let her have some time to herself, until she heard the sound of some one standing up behind her.

'_Oh, Kami-sama, no. I need some time to myself you jerk!''_

"She's not going to get sick 'cause I'm going to go with her and make sure she doesn't get into trouble." She knew that if she turned around right now she'd see that smirk again so she kept her back to him.

"Inuyasha, I'm perfectly capable of getting the water by myself." She assured him through clenched teeth.

"Ah, Kagome-sama, I don't think Inuyasha is worried about the water." Miroku spoke up from behind her, "He probably just wants to get you alone so that he can---"The sound of something wooden (probably a bowl) hitting the monk upside the head told Kagome that Sango had finally decided to interfered on her behalf.

'_I'll have to thank her later...or maybe not…she encouraged Inuyasha to go outside with me.'_

Kagome reached for the door again and from beside her Inuyasha tried to take the half empty bucket from her hand. She tensed and refused to let it go.

'_I told you I needed some time to myself! Can't you just leave me alone for a few minutes?' _A wave of hurt mixed with frustration was his only reply before he picked her up, bucket and all, and headed out the shoji door.

"Inuyasha! Put me down!" She hissed in his ear as he bound out into the rain, heading toward the little open-sided hut that housed the village well.

"No! There are some things that you and I need to clear up, and every time I let you 'think' by yourself things seem to get even more fucked up in there." He lightly knocked his knuckles against the side of her head to help make his point as he sat her down.

"How can you say that?" She demanded, immediately moving away from him as soon as he released his grip on her. The more space she put between them would increase her chances to be able to think clearly, or so she hoped.

"I can say that because ever time I've about got you convinced that I really care for you, you start trying to second guess me! Why can't you just accept that I fucking love you?" He ran his hands through his hair in a nervous guesture that he'd only picked up resently, "Hell, Kagome, I don't know what else to do to get you to believe me. And I know it's my stupid fault that you can't accept that I love you because I've been such an ass so many times in the past, but---"

"I just don't understand!" She cried out, no longer being able to contain herself. The rain beat down harder on the roof of the little hut and the wind blew the falling drops inside so that Kagome's hair quickly became soaked and tangled. "For over two years I've spent every waking moment _knowing_ that I had no chance with you. I knew that Kikyou would always come first because she _was_ first. I hated the fact that I'd always be second best, but I tried to accept it because I wanted _you_ to be happy. Even after we became bound I still assumed that somehow, if there was a way, you'd pick her, since our being tied together was an accident anyway! Now you say you love me, but I don't understand how! Just last month you would have died for her without a second thought, now you love me?" She swung around to face him and flung out her arms in anger. Inuyasha swore under his breath and took a few steps toward her until they stood toe to toe. Now the blowing rain was battering them both with stinging drops but the couple paid no heed to anything but the other's angry words and uneven breathing.

"I would have died for you too, without a second thought!"

"Maybe, just maybe I want you to _live for me_ instead of promising to _die!_ Why are always in such a hurry to _die?"_

"But I do **_live_** for _you_! It's because of you that I can stand to take my next breath! You're my mate! With out our connection I would die! Why do you insist on ignoring that?"

"You can't just simply love me because of some warped spell! It's just not right!" Her frustration with the situation was compounding his own and he couldn't help the growl that started to vibrate from low in his chest. Why couldn't she just understand? Why did it always have to be so hard with her? Inuyasha took a deep breath and took another step closer to his fustrated mate. He locked his golden eyes with her grey-blue orbs so she would be able to see just how truthful his next words were.

"What's not right about it? What's so hard to understand? The world through my eyes is pretty damn simple, Kagome, in case you didn't notice while you were borrowing my sight. I love you, maybe I always have, and I'm fucking certain that I always **_will_**. And for the record that stupid spell didn't make me love you, it just made you mine!" Inuyasha was struggling valiantly to hold back his instinct to dominate and just force her to believe him. His growl deepened when Kagome dropped her eyes away from his and took a step back from their closeness and out fully into the rain. He tensed, ready to catch her if she tried to run, but otherwise didn't move to pull her back under the shelter. She would have to accept his words if they were ever going to move forward in their relationship.

"But what about Kikyou?" Kagome's bangs were now hanging down in her face and he couldn't tell if it was rain water that was dripping down her chin, or tears.

"She's not involved in this. This is between me and you just leave her out---"He made an impatient gesture with his hand when she interrupted him.

"But can't you see? I can't leave her out…as long as I'm still her reincarnation, her shadow; I'll never be able to forget that she loved you first…that you loved her first…" Kagome wasn't yelling anymore and the slight sent of salt and sadness in the air told him that the rain wasn't the only thing running off her face. Some of his anger and frustration faded as he reached out to gently pull her out of the rain and toward the center of the well house so that she would be out of the blowing rain. He could feel her compounded confusion as he sat her on the edge of the well and knelt down in front of her.

"She didn't love me. She loved what I could do for her. Loved the fact that I could free her from the burden of the jewel and give her a normal life with a little hut and a dozen children. But she didn't love me. And I…I just didn't want to be alone anymore." Inuyasha reached up as he said this and scrubbed at his own eyes. It was hard to say all of this out loud, but if it helped Kagome to understand his feelings he was willing to pour his heart out.

"But you…"

"I love you."

"But!--"

"No. No buts! I love you and that's all that matters" His voice was desperate as he rose up onto his knees so that he could press his forehead against hers. One of his hands came to rest at the back of her neck in order to press her closer, "You're my other half. I have part of your soul right here." And his other hand grasped one of her dangling ones and brought it up to rest against his chest right over his heart." And I'm never letting you have it back, do you hear me? Never." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and another to her cheek, but kept himself from kissing her lips. He focused on making his feelings as tangible to her as he could, expose everything in his heart to her.

"I…I think I'm beginning to understand…but I can't…" She stopped and breathed in a shuttering sigh. Kagome felt like she was drowning in the feelings he was pouring into her through their link. For the first time since all of this mess had started she let herself fully believe that Inuyasha…loved her.

Inuyasha loved her. And she loved him.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him back, but couldn't seem to push the words through her suddenly too tight throat. A panicky feeling began to rise up in her chest; she had to tell him something! But try as she might the words to express her feelings just wouldn't be forced out.

"You don't have to say it yet, Koishii, I understand. As long as you know that you belong to me and you stop trying to leave me I don't care how long it takes you to admit it. Just don't doubt me." He nuzzled her hair and moved his arms around to wrap her up in a close embrace. He seemed content to just sit there holding her as the storm began to clear up and Kagome was happy to let him. She relaxed against him and concentrated on sending some of her own feelings back to him.

Yes, her heart was still confused, and she was still hurting, but she had Inuyasha and at the moment that was enough.

It was always just enough.

* * *

Shippou sat under the window and listened to the storm as he held one of the books Kagome had brought for him in his lap. He was trying to study today's lesson, but he kept on getting distracted by the colorful pictures in the book. They were much better than the ones in Kagome's own school books, so bright and colorful that it made his tail twitch! He reached up absently and fed Mame-chan an acorn from his pocket as he flipped the page. The picture on this page made him pause for a moment and stare with slightly sad eyes. It was of a family. A real family with a mother, and a father, and a baby. It made him feel a little empty inside because he was starting to forget what his first family had been like.

Oh, he still remembered things like his mother's unique sent and the sound of his father's voice, and other things that had been impressed into his brain at a very young age. But their images were beginning to fade from his mind, and his memories of what they had looked like were beginning to grow fuzzy in his mind. It made him sad that he was losing his only connection to his first family, but at the same time part of him didn't mind so much because he had Kagome and Inuyasha. Granted the hanyou wasn't the best father figure in the world, but Shippou was beginning to see him as such. It was only natural seeing that his new mother loved the guy so much.

Mame-chan squeaked to get his attention, then demanded another nut. Shippou smiled and shoved another acorn at his little pet. He put aside his serious thoughts and went back to looking at the pictures in the book. A few minutes later a noise at the door alerted him that his mother was finally back. He carefully put his book on the floor before jumping up into her arms.

"You're finally back! And you're all wet! I thought Inuyasha wasn't going to let you get sick again!" The little kit shot a glare toward the inu-hanyou and missed Kagome's smile.

"Keh, not my fault she doesn't know how to stay out of the rain." Inuyasha plucked Shippou out of Kagome's arms much to the kitsune's displeasure and helped her shrug out of her rain coat.

"It's okay, Shippou-chan. It's only my hair that's wet because I didn't put on a hat. The rest of me is mostly dry." She took the baby kit back and went to sit beside the fire that someone had lit in her absence. Miroku looked up from his corner and raised an eyebrow; he made a show of looking around before glancing over at Inuyasha then back at Kagome.

"Nothing happened monk! Get your damn head out of the gutter." Inuyasha snarled after catching the monk's glance in his direction. He flopped down beside Kagome at the fire and reached for one of the cooking knives Sango was sharpening.

"I am greatly saddened by your lack of faith in my purity of thought. I was simply trying to figure out where the water that Kagome-sama went to fetch was." He folded his arms up and tucked his hands into his sleeves in what the group had come to call his 'wise benevolent priest' pose. Kagome felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment.

'_How could I have forgotten the water?'_

"Keh, it's not like it's raining anymore, why don't you go get the water if you're so concerned?" Sango hid her chuckle behind a cough at Inuyasha's words. Miroku has backed himself into that one. She smiled a little broader when the monk sent her a side glance that said he knew what her cough had disguised.

"If you're going to go get some water Miroku-sama, why don't you take Sango-chan with you? You can barter for some supplies for our journey tomorrow." Kagome suggest as she reached over to dig through her yellow pack in search of a brush for her wet hair.

"But why do I have to go, Kagome-chan? I need to finish sharpening these blades." Sango motioned to the assorted cooking knives and to her sword.

"Well, someone has to make sure he keeps his hands to himself so that we don't get kicked out of this village before we get the supplies we need." Kagome pointed out casually. Her face hidden by the curtain of hair she was detangling. Inuyasha had to fight to keep a straight face at the vibes of amusement that were bleeding over from Kagome. Payback was a bitch.

"It hurts me deeply that you—"

"Save it Houshi-sama, I'm going with you." Sango sent Kagome a glare as she stood up and dusted off her skirt. She pulled Hiraikotsu from where it rested in the corner of the room and slung its strap over her shoulder. She walked to the door and stood waiting impatiently for Miroku to follow.

"Umm…Sango-sama? Surely there are no youkai in this village if Inuyasha and Kirara are so relaxed, maybe you should leave your weapon here?" Miroku hesitantly suggested. How was he ever going to get any closer to her if the threat of her giant weapon was always literally looming overhead?

"I'm not afraid of youkai attacking. I'm bringing it for a different reason." Sango answered, tapping her foot now.

"And why is that?" Miroku finally came forward and opened the shoji for her.

"To encourage you to keep your hands to yourself."

The sounds of Kagome's laughter and Inuyasha's snickers followed the couple out the door.

* * *

It was an hour later, and Inuyasha still sat beside the fire but Kagome and Shippou had moved to sit under the window to make good use of the last remaining rays of sun light. Kagome lay on her stomach, propped up by her elbows and pointed to the characters on the page while Shippou sat crossed legged at her shoulder and turned the page. Their chatter along with the warmth of the fire combined together to create a calming atmosphere for Inuyasha as he worked on sharpening Sango's sword. It was busy work really, gliding the blade back and forth over the smooth leather, but it kept his hands occupied and freed his mind to wander.

So Kagome finally believed that he loved her…now where did they go from here?

He _wanted_ to take her far away from all distractions and make her his mate in _every_ sense of the word, both physically and spiritually his forever….

He glanced toward the young woman and her adopted son and watched the way the fire-light reflected off of her raven locks. Yes, that was what he _wanted_ to do, but something told him that she wasn't ready for that yet. No, he might have been sure of what he felt but Kagome needed more time. In fact he doubted that their relationship would move forward at all until everything with Kikyou was resolved.

He let himself think about the undead miko for a moment and he sighed. Kikyou…the sound of her name still brought on so many mixed feelings and emotions, betrayal, duty, hate, fear…love? Inuyasha supposed that if he'd never met Kagome, or never been given the precious gift of being bound to her soul to soul, he would have thought that the feelings he had for Kikyou were love. But the feelings he had for Kagome were so much stronger than anything he'd ever felt for her incarnation.

He'd been telling the truth when he'd told Kagome that she was the reason he took his next breath. But even with all of these strong feelings he had for Kagome, the thought of Kikyou dying because of his relationship with her made his heart twist. He knew he'd made his choice, but Kami-sama he wished there was a way to save them both. But how could there be when on the most basic level they were the same person…

It hit him suddenly like a towering wave of icy water: Kikyou would have to be put to rest completely so that Kagome could be born in the future.

"Fuck!" The blade he'd been handling slipped and embedded itself in his palm with the ease of a warm knife in butter and he cursed again although apart of him was marveling at how sharp he'd managed to get the blade.

"Okaa-chan! You're bleeding!" Shippou's distressed cry had Inuyasha wrenching around and flying to her side. Kagome sat with one hand cradling the other as bright drops of crimson fell onto the book she'd been teaching Shippou from. He reached out to grasp her hand with his own injured hand and her dazed eyes looked up at him. Their blood ran together and dripped off the ends of her fingers, leaving darker stains in the book with each splash.

"You're bleeding too." She told him as he pulled her body into his lap so he could apply pressure to both their wounds. Inuyasha wasn't very worried about his own, because he could feel it already beginning to heal, but Kagome's hand was badly hurt.

"Go fucking find Miroku and Sango! Kagome's going to need more help than I can give her!" He yelled at the frightened kit, too distraught to care that the fox child was upset.

"I'm so fucking stupid! If I had of been paying attention this wouldn't have happened!" He pressed her face into the crook of his neck with his injured hand and rocked back and forth. The smell of her blood was turning his stomach and he had to fight down the bile that was rising in the back of his throat. He didn't even know he was whimpering until Kagome struggled to sit up and wrap her good arm around his shoulders.

"Shh…it's not your fault…it doesn't hurt that much anyway." She tried to reassure him, accidentally leaving bloody streaks down his cheek as her fingers grazed his face. But he knew she was in a lot of pain even though she said she wasn't. He could feel it through her pain hazy thoughts and see it in the say her lips trembled. He pulled her closer and continued running his hand over her hair with one hand and applying pressure to her injury with the other; unmindful of the bloody mess he was creating for their friends to find.

The sound of running feet reached his ears but he didn't turn to greet his panicky friends, didn't even acknowledge that they were there; Inuyasha was helpless to pay attention to anything but Kagome.

"Inuyasha? Kagome-chan?" Sango hurried into the dimly lit room, fighting down the worry Shippou's terrified yelling had given birth to in her heart. She smelled the blood first then caught sight of the vast amounts of it covering her friends. It was on the floor too and on one of Shippou's books.

"Dear Buddha, what happened here?" Miroku asked as he pushed into the door behind her. By the sound of his voice he was just as appalled as she was. Sango moved closer and finally noticed her sword where it lay by the fire-light. The dark stain on the blade made her heart leap, just what had happened here?

"I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing while sharpening your sword. I ended up cutting myself pretty badly on the palm and because of this fucking spell Kagome's mirroring my wounds. I-I-I don't…She's been bleeding badly…" It was the first time Inuyasha had acknowledged that any of them were there, and the guilt and pain he was feeling could clearly be heard in his voice. Sango gave Miroku curt instructions to fetch Kagome's first-aid kit and told Shippou sternly that Kagome wasn't going to die and to bring her sewing bag. After handing out everyone's instructions, Sango knelt beside the water Miroku had brought with him and briskly scrubbed her hands, then she slowly approached Inuyasha's still rocking form. She knew that when a male youkai felt that his mate was threatened and in pain the natural reaction was to lash out so she made no sudden movements. Inuyasha growled deeply but let her approach.

"It's taking you fucking long enough. I think she's almost stopped bleeding now." He opened up his clenched hand so that Sango could see the injury. She tried to keep an impassive face, but the cut stretched from the younger girl's first finger and down across her palm toward her wrist.

"Kagome-chan, I'm going to have to touch it, okay, because I have to know how deep it is. This is going to hurt but I have to do it." She looked into the pain filled eyes of her friend to make sure the girl understood. Without giving Inuyasha a glance Sango gently probed the wound and found to her relief that while she was going to have to sew the wound up, it wasn't deep enough to have damaged any of Kagome's nerves. Kagome drew in a shuttering breath and Inuyasha's growl went high for a moment in what could only be a whine. Sango would have smiled if she wasn't dreading the painful process that was about to start.

Miroku appeared with Kagome's medical bag and Sano sent him to sterilize one of her own sewing needles in the fire. To keep Shippou busy she ordered the kit to light ever candle he could find so that she would have plenty of light to see what she was doing.

"Okay, Inuyasha I'm going to have to stitch up this cut a little and because I don't have any numbing herbs it's going to be painful." Sango took the needle from Miroku and focused on threading it as Shippou ran around lighting all the candles with his fox-fire. Inuyasha pulled Kagome closer at Sango's words and fought a losing battle with his instincts. Part of him knew that Sango would never purposely hurt Kagome and that anything she did was definitely needful, but a growing part of him didn't want anyone else touching his mate.

"No!" He growled out when Sango reached for Kagome's injured palm. He tucked the girl closer and scooted away from their friend.

"But Inuyasha! I have to close up the wound! It's very dangerous for her to go around with an open wound!" Sango tried to reason with him. He just growled a warning at her to stay back.

"Inuyasha, you have to let her help me. The bleedings stopped, and the pain can't get any worse." Kagome used her uninjured hand to push away slightly from the hanyou and turned in his lap so that she was facing Sango. Her hand trembled as she held it out, palm up. Inuyasha stiffened behind her and took in a deep breath. His more rational side finally won and he reached out to secure one arm around her waist and used his already healed hand to hold Kagome's shaking hand still for Sango.

"Do it quickly." He ordered through clenched teeth as Sango's needle descended.

* * *

The sound of a light drizzle on the thatch roof woke Kagome. It was such a different sound than rain on tin or tiles that she couldn't help but lay there and listen to the unique pattern. She could tell without opening her eyes that it wasn't quite sunrise yet. Kagome mused that maybe she'd spent too much time in this era if she could predict the time of day without opening her eyes but the thought was more amusing to her than anything else. She moved to stretch, but found that she couldn't move her arms. Something or someone was holding her tightly and she suddenly became aware that the pillow her head was resting against was breathing.

"I know you're awake." A sleep roughened voice whispered into her ear, "How's your hand?" For a moment she was confused, then the memory of last night came back to her. As if it were trying to help jog her memory her hand started to throb.

"It's okay…it hurts a little bit but not like last night." Kagome answered, finally opening her eyes. She glanced down at her bandaged hand and wondered how long it would be before she'd be able to use her bow again.

"Don't even think about rushing it Kagome." Inuyasha tightened his hold on her for a moment then released her so that she could slide out of his lap. Kagome straightened her shirt and looked around to locate the rest of their party. Shippou was still sleeping in the corner wrapped in her sleeping bag, but Miroku and Sango were no where to be found. She knew they had been up and gone for a while because what was left of breakfast was still bubbling over the fire.

"Where are the others?" She asked as she went about trying to fix herself some food with only one good hand.

'_Okay, I want to know who up there hates me so much? First my sight, now the use of one of my hands…is this 'see how many ways we can cripple Kagome' month or something?'_

"Sango and Miroku went out early this morning to finish getting what they bartered for last night. It seems that yesterday they talked to someone that pointed them in the right direction for the youkai we've been hunting, so they'll need some supplies before they sit out today." He moved over to the fire and helped her dish some food up without comment or complaint. Kagome accepted his help because she knew Inuyasha still felt guilt over what had happened.

"What do you mean they? Aren't we going with them?" She asked as he handed her the plate and a pair of chop sticks. Inuyasha sat back and prepared himself for the argument that he knew was coming. Kagome wasn't going to like what he was about to say, but it had already been decided and was for her own good anyway.

"Sango and the monk are going to go deal with the youkai. From what I can tell it's only a minor one and shouldn't give them any trouble. You, Shippou and I are going back to Kaede's village so that she can take a look at your hand."

"But they need us!" She argued, almost dropping her utensils.

"No, they don't. Miroku will be able to at least sense the shard even if he can't see it and Sango was trained to kill this kind of youkai. And they've worked alone without us before. Everything's been decided already so don't bother arguing!" She glared at him but didn't say anything else and Inuyasha was content to let her brood it over.

"We're back!" Sango called as she came through the doorway, she smiled in relief when she saw that Kagome was up and eating, "How's your hand this morning, Kagome-chan? No pulling or sharp pain?" The older girl knelt beside the young miko and reached for her injured palm.

"It's throbbing a little bit, but it's nothing that some numbing herbs or a few pain pills from my era won't fix." Kagome let the other girl pull her hand up into the light so that she could get a closer look.

"The bandages need to be changed after you finish eating, I'd like to see it then, I need to check for infection." Sango let Kagome's hand fall gently back into her lap before turning to Inuyasha.

"Everything's ready. Miroku's loading our half of the supplies on Kirara right now and I brought enough for your return journey in with me." She indicated the bags she'd left beside the door, "We'll be leaving in a few minutes."

"Thanks." Inuyasha grunted, "Keep the monk out of trouble and watch your back." In his own gruff way he was expressing concern for his friends, and Sango, who had known him long enough to know this, nodded her head.

"I don't like the idea of the two of you going off alone!" Kagome spoke up from where she'd been quietly finishing her breakfast. Inuyasha groaned something that sounded like 'Here we fucking go again' under his breath and Sango looked at Kagome in surprise.

"Why Kagome-chan? Houshi-sama and I have gone off alone to slay youkai before, and this one is only a minor youkai that probably doesn't even have a humanoid form."

"But it's just…" Kagome paused a moment, trying to find the right words to express her misgivings, "We've been separating a lot recently…and it just feels like we're growing apart…" These people were her family, a strange, rag-tag bunch to be sure, but Kagome was afraid of losing the closeness she'd had with them for two years.

"Don't be stupid bitch; we have to collect as many shards as we can while Naraku is dormant." Inuyasha's tone wasn't as harsh as it could have been, but Kagome still felt hurt none the less.

"I know that! I just miss them! They're the only family I have here!" She turned her back to her mate and wrapper her arms around the other woman's neck. Sango returned her hug with a heartfelt one of her own.

"Don't worry Kagome-chan. We'll kill this youkai and be back at Kaede's before you even start to miss us," and in a quieter whisper she added, "Plus I think you and Inuyasha need some time to yourselves to work some things out." Kagome blushed as she moved away and sat back on her heels.

"Take care of yourselves okay! And tell Miroku that he'd better keep his hands to himself." Kagome sniffed but didn't cry, after all, she'd only be away from her friends for a few days. Sango stood up and nodded to Inuyasha before going over to pat the still sleeping Shippou on the head, then she backed out of the hut with a wave and a smile. A few minutes later the couple heard the sound of Kirara flying off. They sat in silence for a few moments before Kagome felt Inuyasha shift behind her. She still didn't turn toward him, but she did allow him to pull her into his lap.

"You have me too, you know." His warm breath tickled the skin behind her ear and she suppressed the urge to relax against him.

"I know I have you Inuyasha…I just miss the others sometimes…It's so hard to deal with all the changes that are coming our way right now…and I just…I don't know…I guess I'm afraid of more change."

"Keh."

"Please try to at least understand what I'm trying to tell you! My whole life has been thrown on its ear in the last month and a half! I've been blinded, kidnapped, had my soul tied for all eternity, **which if you haven't figured it out yet is a long time**, to man who just happened to have been in love with me in one of my previous lives, and last but not least, my tie to him is killing the woman he used to love…again…for the second time! Pardon me if I feel as if I need some support from my friends!" She turned in his lap so that she could look into his eyes but the dim light of the hut kept his amber orbs hidden from her sight.

"You act as if everything in you life is rotten! At least you're alive! And you can see again!" Unspoken between them was his forth point.

'_At least I realized that I love you, and I know you love me, even if you can't say those words yet.'_

"I'm not trying to say that all the changes have been bad! I…I'm just feeling overwhelmed! I'm already living a strange, warped, fairy-tale kind of life, and it keeps getting more confusing!" She fought back the tears with an iron will. She **would not **cry!

"But it doesn't have to be so confusing, you just think too much about it all! Stop worrying, I've already promised to take care of you!" She could feel how tired he was of her worrying over the future in every fiber of her being, and Kagome realized anew just how hard all of this changes must have been on him too. Inuyasha needed her to be strong right now so that he'd have someone to lean on too.

"I know I think too much. I'm sorry Inuyasha…I really don't think all the changes have been bad." She reached up and touched his cheek with the tips of her fingers and brushed some of his long hair out of his face.

"So you don't think all the changes have been bad…" He coaxed her into leaning back against him and wrapped his arms around her middle. Kagome moved her head to the side so that he could rest his forehead on her shoulder.

"No they haven't, but it's all so sudden…and you calling me stupid doesn't help."

"I didn't mean it." He nuzzled the side of her neck in apology. Kagome reached up and found one of his triangular ears to rub, "I never mean it when I say things like that."

"I know."

"And I lo—"

"I know, Inuyasha, and I… this time I believe you with my whole heart." She turned in his lap and pressed a kiss to his surprised lips before burying her head into his shoulder.

'_The world through my eyes has always been complicated, Inuyasha…but it's always been you…always you…that I loved…'_

T.B.C

YAY!

I finally put out a chapter!

Thank you all for being so paitent…it's almost inhuman, how nice you've all been…but RL for me has been a mess…

I've been sick…my Dad's been the Hospital twice…my brother graduated from high school…my mother is still morning her father and needs my help…and then…

Erg…lets just say that it's been a hard few months…

But I'm back! And you have a new chapter to feast on!

Oh, and I'm sure you've all noticed that the things I promised in this chapter didn't happen…but they will! In the next chapter!

OH AND JUST INCASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THIS MONTH IS TWTHE'S BIRTHDAY MONTH! IT'S A YEAR OLD! hands out cake for everyone YAY!

I love you all and I'm so thankful to have you as fans!

Until next time!

Hitomi Lei AkA The Purple Ghost


	16. She Will Be Loved

_Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just having fun with them until the men in the pretty white coats come back to take my toys away. Remember that there were no hanyous harmed in the making of this chapter._

_Err…at least not _too _harmed…_

_AN: Ah another chapter! And you all thought I was dead didn't you? And while that isn't far from the truth, I put off my last convulsion to post this chapter!_

_Okay, so life isn't that bad…but my fourth semester in hell (AKA college) is finally over and I can't remember where the months have gone. To studying I guess…but still…please don't be angry at me for not updating…just be thankful that I'm back!_

**Oh and be advised that this chapter has not been beta'd. I wanted to get it out as soon as I finished it so I posted it early. I'm sending this chapter to her now and I'll put the new version up as soon as she gets it back to me. **

_**So please refrain from pointing out my mistakes. Thanks.**_

**:RECAP:**

"_But it doesn't have to be so confusing, you just think too much about it all! Stop worrying, I've already promised to take care of you!" She could feel how tired he was of her worrying over the future in every fiber of her being, and Kagome realized anew just how hard all of these changes must be on him too. Inuyasha needed her to be strong right now so that he'd have someone to lean on too._

"_I know I think too much. I'm sorry Inuyasha…I really don't think all the changes are bad." She reached up and touched his cheek with the tips of her fingers and brushed some of his long hair out of his face._

"_So you don't think all the changes have been bad…" He coaxed her into leaning back against him and wrapped his arms around her middle. Kagome moved her head to the side so that he could rest his forehead on her shoulder._

"_No they haven't, but it's all so sudden…and you calling me stupid doesn't help."_

"_I didn't mean it." He nuzzled the side of her neck in apology. Kagome reached up and found one of his triangular ears to rub, "I never mean it when I say things like that."_

"_I know."_

"_And I lo—"_

"_I know, Inuyasha, and I… this time I believe you with my whole heart." She turned in his lap and pressed a kiss to his surprised lips before burying her head into his shoulder._

'_The world through my eyes has always been complicated, Inuyasha…but it's always been you…always you…that I love…'_

**:END RECAP:**

Chapter 16: She will be loved

* * *

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies_

* * *

The sun appeared to be bloated, clinging to the last remnants of blue to be found in the sky. It was as if it had consumed all the color from the heavens and was now hanging drunkenly, fumbling for the last drop of azure wine, before falling behind the horizon. Inuyasha sighed as he adjusted the sleeping girl on his back. Kaede's village was just over the next hill and he found himself being happy at the prospect of seeing the inside of her little hut again. It seemed as if it had been much longer than a week since they'd all left on their latest journey.

'_Yeah, well, it might have only been a week, but enough shit has happened to fill up a month. Kagome almost let Kikyou take her place in our bond…and then I confessed my feelings…' _Kagome's arm around his neck shifted and he caught sight of the bandage wrapped tightly around her palm.

"Fuck." He whispered to himself at the memory of just how her hand had been injured replayed itself in his mind.

'_I have to find a way to fix this mess soon! Kagome can't keep mirroring my wounds like this… This time it wasn't fucking life threatening, but what about next time? I can survive being almost ripped in two by one of Naraku's mindless minions, but Kagome's only…human…' _Inuyasha absently stroked the soft skin on Kagome's thigh where his hand rested.

'_Her skin tears so easily…' _

"Inuyasha…? Are you okay?" Kagome's voice was reedy with sleep and she shifted enough to reach one of his ears. It twitched toward her palm and he squeezed her leg reassuringly.

"Keh. We're almost to Kaede's hut. As soon as you can put the kit in bed we're going through the well."

"But-"

"No."

"Inuyasha!--"

"No!"

"I just want--"

"I fucking know what you want! It's only going to be for a little while, wench. The kit will be fine." He started running again in hope that the movement would shut her up.

No such luck.

"As much as I love going home, and as much as I need to get a real doctor to check out my hand, there is no way that I'm leaving Kaede's hut before Shippou wakes up! He's been traumatized more in the last month than he's been in all the years we've chased Naraku! What do you think it would do to him if he woke up and I wasn't there?" She shifted restlessly on his back until he sat her down on the ground outside of the village. Kagome closed her arms around the sleeping kitsune, who had been nestled between their bodies, and drew the warm bundle of fur closer to her chest. She was going to be a better mother to the little boy if it was the last thing she did.

"In fact, I'm not going to leave him at all! I'll bring him with me if I have too!"

"If you haven't noticed it during the last two years, Koishii, I'm the only one from this time that can go down the well." Inuyasha yanked at his own hair in frustration. Why, in the name of all that was holy, did she have to think so fucking much? The pup would be fine when he woke up, and he told her as much.

"He'll know that you went down the well! He has a nose; he'll be able to figure out where we went." Inuyasha just couldn't see the point. By the time he'd was Shippou's age, he'd been self-sufficient enough to leave his mother's side for days at a time to wonder aimlessly in the woods in search of entertainment. More importantly, Shippou wasn't his first priority right now. Kagome was hurt and whether she admitted it or not, her palm was beginning to get infected. He could smell the sickness creeping into her body like a silent invader. Shippou would get over any momentary fear their absence caused him. Kagome was going home.

Tonight.

Whether she liked it or not.

* * *

The smell of the simple bean soup Kaede had cooked for dinner wafted throughout the small hut. The old miko sat right beside the hearth, close enough for Inuyasha to wonder if she'd catch on fire as stirred the meal with a long handled spoon. Kagome was sitting to his right trying to teach Shippou a human game that involved cards and telling lies.

He snorted.

Kagome ignored him.

He shifted and glared at the back of her head.

Of course Kagome didn't respond, she continued with the game by trying to convince Shippou that she didn't have the card he wanted.

'_Let's just stay for dinner, Inuyasha. We'll go down the well soon, Inuyasha. I just want to ask Kaede if she knows a way to get the well to let Shippou pass, Inuyasha...' _In remembrance of Kagome's words, he keh'd for good measure again and decided to leave the hut if she was only going to ignore him.

The irony of the situation wasn't lost on him as he leapt up to the top of the tree outside of Kaede's hut. He wanted to go down the well and take Kagome back to her time, while she was finding every excuse to stay here in the feudal era.

"Damn girl. Doesn't she realize how dangerous it is to let an infection set in?" Inuyasha ran his fingers distractedly through his hair, a nervous gesture he'd been indulging in more and more recently.

"And what am I supposed to do about her mirroring my wounds? There has to be some spell...something to set this bonding to right." But would removing one part of the botched spell change everything? Inuyasha hoped not because he liked being able to feel her soul so close to his own. He liked being able to hear her thoughts.

Like right now, Kagome was thinking about ways to make Kaede's bean soup taste better without the older miko seeing her add in the spice she had hidden in her bag.

'_That won't happen Kagome, baba sees everything.'_

Now that he had the chance to think, he remembered those moments when she had been blocking him out of her thoughts in the forest with Kikyou…when he couldn't feel her. He remembered how he'd almost lost his mind. Inuyasha shuttered. No, there had to be a way to fix the stupid parts of the spell while keeping what he needed for his own sanity.

And the stinging sensation he was feeling on the end of his nose was the perfect way to find the answers he needed. Inuyasha got up and left Kaede's hut with barely a glance in Kagome's direction.

* * *

Kagome decided to wait until Shippou was asleep for the night before she approached Kaede with her question. She'd been thinking about the first time Inuyasha had gone down the well all day, and for the fist time in two years, she found herself wondering about why the well let him pass.

'_The only reason I can think of is the subduing spell. Because Kikyou made the necklace and I set the spell…maybe the well confuses Inuyasha with me.' _

She cast a glance over toward the cooking miko and decided that she needed some fresh air if she was going to figure any of this out.

"Kaede-baachan? I'm going to take a walk out side and after dinner I need to ask you something." The older miko just nodded and motioned toward Shippou to let Kagome know that she'd watch the kit while she was away. And keep him from following his adopted mother if need be.

Once outside, Kagome looked up into the tree that grew beside the hut, but to her surprise Inuyasha wasn't perched there. She knew from their link that he couldn't have gone too far, so she decided not to worry about it too much. After all, a little alone time would do both of them some good.

She absently picked up her bow and quiver as she set off down the forest road in the general direction of the well.

'_Inuyasha's subdue spell doesn't work anymore, and really there's no reason for me to use it anymore. If I need to calm him down all I have to do is use our link. I've been thinking of taking it off of him recently because I know just how much he hates it. I never thought about it, but having that necklace must be a little like having a collar. _

_Oh, now I'm feeling guilty for ever using it…Okay, but on the flip side, what if that spell is the key to Inuyasha traveling down the well? If I took it off would he have to stay here? And on that note…would I have to stay here too? Because Inuyasha and I can't be parted by the well, it's too painful for both of us. _

_Wait, I wonder if our link would work just as well as the subdue spell? After all, if the spell on the necklace is all it took for the well to be tricked into thinking that Inuyasha and I were the same person, then surely the fact that our souls are knit together will be good enough to grant him access…'_

"Keh, what does this fucking necklace have to do with getting the kit down the well?" The sudden appearance of Inuyasha at her side startled Kagome. She reached for an arrow without thinking, but Inuyasha batted her hand away from her quiver.

"You'd better be damn glad that I wasn't a bandit or that I wasn't intent on killing you! What are you thinking, bitch, walking around in the dark?"

"I had my weapon!" Kagome told him, a bit miffed at his words.

"Oh, a lot of good those arrows did you! You didn't even know I was there!" He pointed out in triumph as if he'd just won the argument.

Kagome realized then that there wasn't really any sting behind his words. Inuyasha was just bickering with her for sake of bickering. Quite like he used to do in the past.

It hit her then just how long it had been since they'd had a normal conversation…well, as normal as their conversations ever were.

"You know, I'm not going to let your mood get me down! I think I might have finally figured out how to get Shippou down the well!" Inuyasha raised his eyebrows in silent skepticism. Kagome really couldn't see him do this of course, since it was fully dark, but she had a feeling about it all the same.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, but I have to talk to Kaede about it to be sure. Oh, if this works Shippou-chan could be meeting Momma in a few days!" Kagome would have clapped her hands with pure joy at the thought of her family getting to meet her surrogate son had it not been for the pain that motion caused her still tightly bandaged hand. Inuyasha caught sight of her ill disguised winch of pain.

"If it's going to take more than a night, it'll just have to wait. I gave in today about going back to your time, but I'm not doing it again."

"But I'm so close!"

"NO! I can smell the infection that's growing in your wound! We will go to your house. We will go in the morning. End. Of. Discussion." Inuyasha didn't wait for her reply. He knew her well enough to know that telling her it was the end of the conversation wasn't going to work. Instead, he just scooped her up bridal style and started back toward the village.

Kagome's protest be damned.

* * *

"So you are looking for a way to get young Shippou-chan down the well?" Kaede gave the little bundle of fur in the corner a thoughtful look before turning back to Kagome, "And you think I might have the answers you seek?"

"I just thought you might know something about how the well works…" Kagome left the sentence hanging. Inuyasha was sitting beside her silently with his arms folded. If his body language was any indication, he was having nothing to do with Kagome bringing Shippou to the future, none whatsoever.

"I know nothing more than you do, child. Until you came through, all the well ever did was swallow demon bones. The fact that it is made of wood from the God Tree makes its magic tricky to use. It appears that you, Kagome, have control over the well. As it's mistress you're the only one who can figure out how to get Shippou-chan through the well." Kaede didn't miss Kagome's startled look at being called the well's mistress. But that's what the girl was, whether she wanted to acknowledge that fact or not.

"I think," Kagome hesitated for a moment, "I think that it might be Inuyasha's necklace that allows him access to my time, but I don't know if it's the type of spell that is on the necklace, or just that the spell is mine." Kagome reached across to Inuyasha and fingered one of the teeth on his necklace.

"Keh."

"Hmmm…You might be right. If you took Inuyasha's beads and fashioned a spell for Shippou-chan the well might let him travel through the rift also." Kaede rocked back onto her heels, clearly getting ready to get up and head to bed.

"But I wouldn't want to put a subduing spell on Shippou-chan! I would rather not use Inuyasha's necklace for this."

"It's not like the runt doesn't deserve a subduing spell! The next time he's biting my ears you could smack him into the ground!"

"Inuyasha! Shippou-chan is just a little boy! I'm not going to smack him into the ground!"

"But--"

"Really! What kind of mother would I be if I smacked my child into the ground?"

"Oh, so you won't subdue the brat, but you have no qualms about flattening _me_ into an Inuyasha shaped hole in the dirt?"

"You deserve it…most of the time." That second part was said quietly, but not so softly that Inuyasha couldn't hear it.

"AH HA! So you agree that you've used this stupid spell to abuse your power over me!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"Children, I am going to bed. I ask that you take this…discussion…outside so that you do not wake the boy. Or the village." Kaede gave them both a pointed look, and Kagome took a slight step back from where she was standing toe-to-toe arguing with Inuyasha. Inuyasha, for his part just snorted and grabbed her arm. His grip was gentle but firm as he started to drag her out of the hut.

"Where are you taking me?" She asked, irritated at being pulled around like a wayward child.

"To the God Tree. You can shriek all you want out there so that the only thing you'll hurt is my ears--"

"I _do not_ **shriek!**"

"—and if you don't want to be treated like a pup, then don't act like one." He continued as if she'd never said a word.

"I am not acting like a child! You're the one that accused me of spousal abuse!" As soon as the great tree was in sight she pulled away from him and marched to its base. Inuyasha chose to approach the tree at a slower pace. She could feel him at the edge of her mind. He was frustrated, but amused, and that only served to ignite Kagome's ire more.

"Oh, I don't know why I put up with you!" She folded her arms tightly to her chest and turned her back on him. Everything was silent behind her for a full minute and she was starting to get nervous. She reached out with her mind of figure out what was going on with Inuyasha. Too late she realized his intent. Strong arms surrounded her and she felt the familiar feeling of her stomach falling as Inuyasha launched them up into the tree. For a moment after they'd landed, Kagome sat stiffly in his lap, but then she felt one of his clawed hands running through her hair and she relaxed.

"You really want him to go with us don't you?" Inuyasha asked her quietly.

"Yeah, I do. I want him to meet my family, to see that all those things he reads about in my books are real." Behind her, Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably.

"Do you really think taking Shippou to the modern time is a good idea?" And lest she think that he was _actually concerned_ for the kit, "I mean, he's constantly afraid, his hearings very sensitive, and let's not forget that your grandfather is crazy! What if he smacks a ward on Shippou?" Kagome turned in his lap and just looked at him with bright amused eyes.

"What?" Inuyasha demanded, his ears twitching nervously.

"I can't believe it. You're worried about Shippou-chan!"

"Keh. Am not."

"Yes you are!"

"No. I. Am. Not!"

"Yes--"And he did what any self-respecting hanyou would do to shut up an annoying human girl. He kissed her. Unlike in the past, when Kagome resisted his touch at first, she immediately opened to him, letting her spirit embrace his just as surly as her arms and lips were. Inuyasha was a little taken aback and almost lost his balance on the limb they were perched in. He pulled away and moved his face up to nuzzle his nose into her hair.

"I really have been thinking about taking this thing off you. I know how much you hate it." She played with his beads for a moment then reached up with both hands to grasp it.

"Kagome--"

"No, it was cruel for me to ever have this thing on you, but you have to understand that at first I was…well…afraid of you."

"Koishii--"

"And by the time I trusted you enough to take it off, we'd already found out that I could use it when you were too stubborn to duck."

"Would you just--"

"But then I was worried that you might not be able to follow me home…and I…but it's really unfair to you! So I'm going to take it off now, okay?" But she felt his hands clasp over hers before she could utter the counter-spell.

"If you'd just listen to me for a minute, bitch, without jumping to conclusions!" She loosened her hold on the beads, but otherwise didn't say anything. Inuyasha took a deep breath before continuing, "Now, don't get me wrong, I hate the fact that every time I do or say something that even sets you off a little, I get a face full of dirt. But…these beads have saved my life more than a few times…"

'_Like that first time I lost control of my youkai blood. Kami-sama, but I could have hurt her then if not for these fucking beads.'_

Kagome cocked her head to the side, "Are you saying that you don't want me to remove the spell?"

"Fucking _hell_ **no!** I want you to take off this damn spell! ... Just, let me keep the necklace, okay?" He looked deeply into her eyes, and saw that she understood. Kagome blinked then reached for his subdue necklace again, but stopped halfway there and pulled back. To Inuyasha's surprise, Kagome started to unwind the bandage around her injured hand. The strong smell of the poultices Kaede had used in vain to fight the infection assaulted his senses and he let out a low growl.

"What do you think you're doing?" He reached out to stop her, but Kagome used her good hand to bat him away.

"I can't do this spell with one of my hands covered, it just won't work right otherwise because I'm going to be changing the nature of the spell. If you want to keep the beads then it has to be this way. If I don't do things properly, any miko that walks by with half a brain and even less power will be able to change the spell so that she can use a word against you. Just be quiet, okay?"

"Keh, then we'll just wait until your hand is healed. Now wrap it back up before the smell makes me sick!" He flattened his ears to the top of his head in disgust.

"It's now or never, Inuyasha."

Kagome didn't really wait for his response before she dropped into a light trance. She opened her eyes and saw the miko-magic that was swirling around Inuyasha's necklace. Softly she reached out with her power and felt the magic instantly respond to her touch.

"_Change._ _Become as any other. The duty that was set for you is finished. The task to subdue is complete."_ Kagome whispered this chant aloud and felt the necklace respond. Slowly the magic seeped away, the blue beads becoming dull to her eyes.

And then the spell was gone.

She blinked her eyes a few times, coming out of her trance. Inuyasha was still sitting very still, just looking at her.

"Is it done?"

"Yes, I think so. **_Sit_**!"

Nothing happened.

"Yeah, it worked." Inuyasha grunted at her then motioned toward the bandage fluttering slightly in the breeze from its place in her lap.

"Put the wrap back on."

Kagome felt a surge of irritation. She'd not only just removed the subdue spell, which was the bane of his existence for the last two years, but she'd also figured out how to turn the complicated spell off so he could keep the stupid beads. And now he was grunting at her?

"Well, I'm sorry if the smell of my pathetic human infection disturbs you! But I was only trying to do something nice!"

"By putting your own self at risk! Stupid!"

"It was only for a moment, and a little air is probably good for it!"

"Kaede said to keep it covered!" He took over wrapping her hand up without thinking, holding his fingers at an odd angle so that his claws didn't catch on the gauze.

"Kaede doesn't know everything!" Kagome exclaimed in frustration. Her outburst was met with silence. As soon as Inuyasha was finished with her bandage he dropped her hand. It fell limply into her lap. Kagome sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. You were only trying to help me." Inuyasha relaxed and shifted around so that he could rest his back against the trunk of the God Tree. He pulled Kagome up close to his chest and wound his arms around her in such a way to cover her frame completely with his haori sleeves.

"Kagome, I just want to keep you safe. And the fact that the only reason your hand is hurt in the first place is because I wasn't fucking paying attention when I was sharpening Sango's sword goes to how useless I am! I've realized over the last few days that while I can save you from youkai intent on taking your life when it comes right down to it, I can't save you from myself." Kagome turned in his hold so that she could face him. Inuyasha refused to meet her eyes.

"No, Inuyasha, no! You're not to blame for this! You are not useless to me, and I don't need to be kept safe from you!" She leaned in closer and pressed a kiss to his jaw. "You said you loved me and I believe you, Inuyasha! I also know that you'd rather die than hurt any of us! Miroku, or Sango, or even Shippou! Please stop blaming yourself for what happened. Accidents happen." He finally met her clear blue gaze and was captivated by the truth in them.

Kagome didn't blame him.

Kagome truly trusted him.

"So fragile." His hands came up to delicately frame her face, and she shivered as his warm breath fanned out across her lips.

"Inuyasha, I--" She was finally going to say those words that he so longed to hear, but he stopped her.

"Shh…I know, Koishii." Then he leaned in and captured her lips in the second kiss of the evening. This one, unlike the first, was not given in order to shut her up. It was slow and lingering. Kagome sighed into his mouth and let him deepen the kiss. She shifted a bit and arched her back as Inuyasha began to trail open mouth kisses down the side of her neck. Kagome reached up blindly and felt around for Inuyasha's ears. He growled deep in his throat when she found them and gave them a gentle flick. He used his teeth to leave little nipping kisses along her collar bone, and in the back of her mind, Kagome knew that in the morning she'd have to find something with a high neckline to wear home.

Inuyasha growled again and moved his kisses lower. She could feel a strange heat pooling in her belly as she pressed her body closer to his and tilted her head to give him better access. She moaned when she felt his tongue flick out to taste the hollow of her throat. She never felt him hastily undoing the top buttons of her shirt, but she did feel the cool air as it rusted over her heaving chest. The heat in her belly moved lower and she shifted, trying to find a bit of relief for the building pressure. Inuyasha had just finished placing a rather hard kiss to the swell of her right breast when he abruptly sat up. His breathing was erratic and he tried his best not to breathe though his nose. Her scent at the moment was enough to push him over the edge that he dared not cross, at least not yet. That only made it worse. Now he could _taste_ her scent with his tongue. Kami-sama, he wanted nothing more than to finish this dance! However, until he heard from Myouga, that couldn't be allowed to happen.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked breathlessly as she continued to caress his ears. She was in a confused, hazy place where all she wanted was for him to finish what he'd started. Inuyasha placed a few more hard kisses on her lips as he buttoned her back up. Kagome was beginning to come out of her arousal-induced trance and she couldn't help but feel embarrassed by her brazen actions.

"I—You—We need to get back to the hut. It's late and you need to sleep." Inuyasha told her, back to not meeting her eyes.

"Inuyasha?" she asked again as he pulled her up close and slid off the branch. She was confused. Why had he so abruptly stopped his assault on her senses?

"Look, Kagome, I'm sorry," he ran his hands roughly through his hair in a gesture she was coming to equate with frustration, "but this afternoon while you were playing cards with Shippou, I sent the flea on an errand and until he gets back we can't…" He left the sentence hanging. Kagome turned away, not knowing how to respond. She heard him start walking toward the village and she followed. Surreptitiously she pressed her thighs together, trying to force away the lingering heat that had gathered in her nether regions.

She sighed; it was going to be a long night.

* * *

For the first time in a long time, it was Kaede's knurled hand that shook Kagome awake at fist light the next morning, instead of Shippou or Inuyasha. She sat up quickly thinking that something must be wrong, but Kaede motioned with her finger to her lips that Kagome was to stay quiet.

"I need to speak to you without Inuyasha's ill tempered voice interrupting us." She whispered, barely loud enough for Kagome to hear. The young miko nodded and shifted the still sleeping kitsune off her stomach and into the soft confines of her sleeping-bag. She placed kiss on his forehead when he began to stir and watched with a slight smile as Shippou sighed in his sleep and rolled into a fuzzy ball. She turned and followed Kaede toward the door without changing out of her pajamas.

On her way out, she glanced around to find where Inuyasha had bedded down for the night. Her eyes found him in the far corner of the hut, hunched over with his knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped possessively around his sword. She wanted to snort at the sight, but she realized that such a sound would probably wake the hanyou up. She understood in theory why he thought he had to sleep as far away from her as physically possible and still be under the roof, but seeing him so far away hurt a little. It hit her then that it had been weeks, possibly months since Inuyasha had slept so far away.

'_What kind of information did he send Myouga to find, anyway? I thought Inuyasha would be happy to take our relationship up to the next level…'_ She forcibly shoved those thoughts into the back of her mind when Kagome noticed that Kaede was waiting for her to sit down on the low temple steps before beginning whatever discussion she wanted to have.

"I have meditated long for an answer to the question you asked me yesterday. This morning I even went to the temple to see if the old scrolls that are stored there had any wisdom they wanted to shine on the situation. And I think I might have stumbled up on the solution." Kaede pulled a much faded piece of parchment out of her robe sleeve and handed it over to Kagome. The girl took it, and held it delicately up to the sun light that was just cresting the rise.

But she couldn't read it.

"Umm…Kaede? This isn't in any form of Japanese that I recognize…" She handed the scroll back to the old miko with a frown.

"I though that you might not be able to read it. This scroll is very old, and in a form that is only taught to mikos and monks now. What this scroll tells of is a spell of kinship. I think it was originally used on those rare occasions when one youkai tribe wanted to adopt an outsider into their family. For all intents and magical purposes, if you perform this spell Shippou will be your son in every way. It will not matter that his blood is different than yours, all youkai will recognize him as yours." Kagome's eyes lit up and she reached for the scroll. Kaede, however, didn't hand it over. Kagome frowned.

"Is there a catch that you're not telling me about?" Kaede had an annoying tendency of leaving out the important, life changing details when it came to casting spells.

"With the spell? No child, although I am not very clear on the exact translation, my memory for language isn't what it used to be. Nothing _should_ happen like the last time…But since Inuyasha is by youkai standards your husband, it would be proper to have him participate in this spell. Because of your bond, when Shippou becomes your son, he also becomes Inuyasha's and it is not right to lay such a responsibility on a person unknowingly."

Kagome sat back on her heels. Ask Inuyasha to become Shippou's father? She had about as much chance in getting him to agree as she did convincing him to wear something other than his fire-rat fur for a change.

It just wouldn't happen.

"Is this the only way?" Kagome asked as a knot began to form in the pit of her stomach. At the edges of her subconscious she could feel Inuyasha waking up. She felt his brief panic at not finding her in her sleeping bag, and then the surge of anger when he figured out that she wasn't even in the hut.

And a strange sense of hurt beyond the anger.

"As far as I know child." Kaede put a comforting hand on Kagome's shoulder as she stood. Kagome took a deep breath and held it for a moment before exhaling in a sigh. Inuyasha had caught her scent now. He'd be at the steps of the temple where she and Kaede had been having their discussion any minute now.

"Thank you, Kaede-baachan, for all your help. Now why don't you go back to the hut and get some rest. Inuyasha is coming this way, and I'm sure you won't want to be here when he arrives."

"A bit miffed that you left the hut without him?" Kaede asked as she started down the opposite path than the one that went directly to her hut. Kagome just nodded and tried to figure out what she'd tell Inuyasha when he got there.

She'd just heard the first sounds of his curses when she realized that Kaede had left the parchment in her lap.

* * *

Inuyasha woke abruptly. Something wasn't right. He reached up and rubbed at his chest. It didn't actually hurt, not really. It was more like an itch that couldn't be scratched, or the sting of a tiny insect. He automatically looked over to where Kagome should have been sleeping peacefully, considering the fact that the sun was barely up, but instead he only saw Shippou stirring fitfully in his sleep. Inuyasha shot to his feet as he sniffed the air frantically. Her scent hadn't faded much from the small hut, so she couldn't have gone far.

Images from the night before assaulted his mind and he cringed.

"Fuck…" he whispered to himself. Was she so upset about the night before that she'd left without telling him? He reached out with his mind and found out the answer to the troubling twinge in his heart. Kagome, where ever she was, had gone to the very end of their range.

He caught some of her thoughts; something about him, Shippou and adoption, but he ignored them. Kagome had deliberately taken herself as far away from him as she could without feeling pain. A cold feeling rushed down his spine.

What if she was planning some new way to sever their connection? He could think of no other reason for her to travel so far away from him. Could this have anything to do with the night before? Why couldn't his bitch ever just talk to him about her problems? Why did she have to run away and go to such extremes when she was upset? Didn't she trust him? He felt anger bubble up inside of him as he hit the hut door at a sprint.

How was he supposed to keep her safe if she kept on refusing to let him?

He ignored the hurt that was underneath the anger rather well.

* * *

Kagome thought about using their bond to sooth his emotions before he got to her, but that just seemed too underhanded somehow. She remembered back when she was still blind…Kami-sama had it only been mere weeks ago? … and Inuyasha had used her emotions against her. It didn't matter that he was only worried about her, it had still left Kagome feeling violated somehow. No, she would let him rage at her if he wanted to, and then she'd ask him about Shippou.

"What do you think you're doing, bitch? What fucking stupid notion convinced you that it would be a good idea to leave the hut without telling me?"

"Kaede wanted to talk to me about getting Shippou through the well." Kagome answered back calmly. Inuyasha stopped abruptly and looked around. It was obvious, if one knew what to look for, that someone had recently been here with Kagome. His nose told him that Kagome wasn't lying either. He let himself relax a little. Maybe all his anger was unfound. Kagome jerked when she caught some of his stray feeling through their bond.

"Oh, Kami-sama, you thought I was trying to unbind us again! Do you have so little faith in me that you suspect me every time I leave your presence?" She stood up to face him, her vow to stay calm forgotten.

"Can you blame me?" Inuyasha was yanking at his own hair again and Kagome almost, a_lmost_ felt sympathy for him. "Every time it's happened in the past few weeks that's what you've been doing!"

Kagome opened her mouth to argue, but found that she couldn't dispute that fact. With a weary sigh she dropped back down to the steps.

"Inuyasha, I really don't want to fight right now. I'm sorry that you thought the worst when you couldn't find me this morning…Would it help if I promised to never try something so stupid as to untie our souls again?" she looked up at him, and for the first time in a long time she couldn't read the expression on his face.

He looked disturbingly like his older brother in that moment.

He must have caught her stray thought, because he abruptly scrawled and flopped down beside her. Tenitivly he reached for her hand and Kagome intertwined her fingers with his. She scooted closer to him after a minute and laid her head down on his shoulder with a content sigh. This is what she'd missed last night. It was hard to get any sleep at all when he wasn't right by her side.

"I missed you last night." She told him quietly. Inuyasha shifted and pulled her into his lap. He cuddled her close and inhaled her unique scent.

"You know why I couldn't sleep next to you last night Kagome." She giggled when the wind blew a strand of his hair against her cheek. She reached out and grabbed it before he could pull away and began wrapping it around her finger.

"No, I really don't understand, but if you say that we have to wait, then I trust you. I'd be happier, though, if you'd tell me what you sent Myouga-jichan after."

"No," he looked away from her inquiring eyes, "I'll tell you soon, but not right now."

Kagome sighed, but didn't push. They sat like that for a moment, just content to be in each other's presence again.

"You might want to put on a different shirt when we get back to the hut." Inuyasha informed her suddenly. Kagome was a bit confused. This was a clean night-shirt, a little worn and baggy, perhaps, but nothing was wrong with that, right?

"What do you mean? What's wrong with my shirt?" She pulled away from him and glanced downward. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with my shirt!"

Inuyasha smirked and lightly ran one of his clawed fingers over her collar bone where a few of his marks from last night proudly stood out against her pale skin.

"Okay, but I'm not answering the runt's questions." Kagome gave a little shriek and tired to see the marks herself. She couldn't of course without a mirror, but now that she knew they were there, she could feel them!

"Inuyasha! Why did you do that! _Err! _I could just---!"

"Could just what? I didn't hear you complaining last night." Kagome reached up and grabbed a large handful of his forelock and pulled.

Hard.

"I really hate you right now, do you know that?" She asked sweetly, tugging harder with each word. Inuyasha caught her hands and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

"Yeah, I know. Now what did baba want to talk to you about?"

She let go of his hair and reached into her lap for the parchment that Kaede had left her.

"I realize that you might not be able to read this, but Kaede thinks this might be the only spell that will allow Shippou across the time rift, other than the subdue spell of course." Inuyasha took the delicate paper with more care than she expected and looked at it closely for a long moment.

"She wants you to perform the _sesshu_-_isshintou_? Do you know what this will do?" His look was incredulous.

"Well yes, I think I do---Hey! You can read the scroll?"

Inuyasha waved her question away, "I'm a hundred and fifty-two years old Kagome, this was what formal Japanese looked like when my mother taught me. Now stop avoiding the question! What did Kaede tell you about this spell?"

"And how _do you_ know about this spell? I mean she said it was rarely used and it's not like you hang around a lot of other demons…"

"Ka. Go. Me!"

"Alright, all Kaede said was that by performing this spell Shippou would become, for all intents and purposes, my son. That all youkai, regardless of the fact that our blood is different, would recognize him as such. Although she did say she couldn't be sure about it. Her translation might be off." Kagome looked up at him through her lashes, as if she wasn't sure how he'd respond to the next part, "She also suggested that I ask you before I preformed the spell, because having Shippou bond to me like that would make you his father…that's not why your upset is it?" She felt a stab of pain run through her heart, what if Inuyasha didn't want children?

"Keh, of course I want children! And I don't mind being Shippou's…well you know…But Kagome this spell would have…" He paused to gather his thoughts. Kagome could tell that he was trying to find a way to explain it for her in human terms.

"I am in line for my brother's lands and title, should Sesshomaru die without an heir. It doesn't matter that I'm the bastard son, or that I'm a hanyou. Rightfully, those lands are mine. Any son that I have would have a claim to Sesshomaru's land as well. Now if Shippou, a kitsune, became my son, being full blooded, he would have more of a claim than I would, if you as my mate preformed that spell. Sesshomaru alone would want to kill all three of us, not to mention what the clan elders would think. No Kagome, that spell can only be preformed if my brother gives permission, and even though I hate the fucking guy and his whole stinking clan, even I won't go that far. Plus, this spell requires a lot of youkai magic, and blood." Inuyasha tossed the parchment to the side and stood up. Kagome was still looking at him with a mixture of awe and confusion.

"What?" One of his ears twitched in agitation as he reached down to pull her up. "Why are you looking at me like I've grown a second head?"

"I never realized that you knew so much about your family." She bent down and picked up the scroll. Maybe the spell could be modified to work. If only she could convince him to read it to her.

"Keh, mostly instinct. And yes, you might be able to modify the spell. I'll read it to you, but I'm only giving you until noon. After that I'm taking you home, with or without the runt. "

Kagome smiled at him and raised her arms up. Inuyasha rolled his eyes and scooped her up before heading towards the God Tree. She had a feeling that it would all work out alright in the end. She was the well's mistress after all, and a powerful miko to boot! There had to be a spell out there that would let Shippou pass through the rift.

There just had to be.

* * *

AN:

No, your eyes aren't fooling you.

It is me.

Please don't you all rush to kill me at once.

Eh.

College sux.

Being broke sux more.

And only having twenty-four hours in a day sux the most.

That's all I'm going to say about it.

Now I know that every thing I promised would happen, didn't. That's because a bigger, better plot bunny hopped by and squashed the other one.

It was sad really.

And quite bloody.

I estimate that TWTHE only has three, or at the most, four chapters left…and those are mostly already written and have been for the last two years. Expect an end to this story by the end of the summer.

That makes me sad.

But probably makes you all happy?

Meh…

I don't have the time or the space to answer all the reviews…Just know that every single one of them was lovingly read and cherished.

Thanks!

Oh, and _sesshu_-_isshintou_ literally means The Absorption of Kinship. Don't ask how Inuyasha knew what it was. That's a plot hole. Just ignore the pretty hole and go about your business.

You know you want to.

That's it turn around.

Good reader!

And for a reward, here's what's coming up next!

**Back to the future! **_Will Kagome ever get a real doctor to look at her hand?_

**It's a squirrel revival! **_Oh NO! Mame-chan is loose on the shine grounds and no one can find him!_

**What's this? A steamy shower scene? **_Just remember not to get soap Inuyasha's eyes, Kagome!_

**The answer to the Myoga question! _Just where did Inuyasha send his faithful flea?_**

_**All this and a Sesshomaru flavored bag of chips! Next time on The World Through His Eyes!**_

Author is not responsible for where the muse leads her. The above advertisement is only an estimate. All plots are subject to change should they be ruthlessly murdered by bigger bunnies.


	17. At Your Side

_Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just having fun with them until the men in the pretty white coats come back to take my toys away. Remember that there were no hanyous harmed in the making of this chapter._

_Err…at least not _too _harmed…_

_AN: So….supprised to see me so soon? It's only been what…6 months? Erg…okay, okay I'll stop joking…put the pictch forks away. I'll fill you all in on what's been happening in my little water logged corner of the world at the end of this chapter!_

**Oh and be advised that this chapter has not been beta'd. I wanted to get it out as soon as I finished it so I posted early. I'm sending this chapter to her now and I'll put the new version up as soon as she gets it back to me. **

_**So please refrain from pointing out my mistakes. Thanks.**_

_**Also…there is a limey scene at the end of the chapter…no it's not that steamy shower scene that I'd promised…that got eaten by a very mean bunny…but still good I think.**_

**:RECAP:**

"_I am in line for my brother's lands and title, should Sesshomaru die without an heir. It doesn't matter that I'm the bastard son, or that I'm a hanyou. Rightly those lands are mine. Any son that I have would have a claim to Sesshomaru's land as well. Now if Shippou, a kitsune, became my son, being full blood, he would have more of a claim than I would, if you as my mate preformed that spell. Sesshomaru alone would want to kill all three of us, not to mention what the clan elders would think. No Kagome, that spell can only be preformed if my brother gives permission, and even though I hate the fucking guy and his whole stinking clan, even I won't go that far. Plus this spell requires a lot of youkai magic, and blood." Inuyasha tossed the parchment to the side and stood up. Kagome was still looking at him with a mixture of awe and confusion._

"_What?" One of his ears twitched in agitation as he reached down to pull her up. "Why are you looking at me like I've grown a second head?"_

"_I never realized that you knew so much about your family." She bent down and picked up the scroll. Maybe the spell could be modified to work. If only she could convince him to read it to her._

"_Keh, mostly instinct. And yes, you might be able to modify the spell. I'll read it to you, but I'm only giving you until noon. After that I'm taking you home, with or without the runt. "_

_Kagome smiled at him and raised her arms up. Inuyasha rolled his eyes and scooped her up before heading towards the God Tree. She had a feeling that it would all work out alright in the end. She was the well's mistress after all, and a powerful miko to boot! There had to be a spell out there that would let Shippou pass through the rift. _

_There just had to be._

**:END RECAP:**

Chapter 17: At Your Side

* * *

I'll be at your side, there's no need to worry

* * *

The sounds of the modern era that she'd called home for most of her life assaulted her ears as soon as her head cleared the top of the well. Compared to the simpler times she was leaving behind, this was chaos. The cadence of a million vehicles stuck in a never-ending traffic jam, the rumble of the subway speeding through the city maze, people laughing, crying…just living. The city lived through these people, and she was sure that from the air, the masses of people would look like multi-colored blood flowing through gigantic veins.

"Keh, why does this fucking place always have to be so damn noisy?" Inuyasha's voice broke the spell, and Kagome sighed. She waited for him to lift her out of the well before she replied.

"It's not so bad, Inuyasha, when you think of that noise as human life."

"Yeah it is; why can't they all live –**_quietly_**?"

Kagome sighed. When Inuyasha was like this there was no reasoning with him. He would never understand that to her, this city was as familiar as any forest was to him. She understood how this city worked. Knew how to navigate her way through the maze of glass buildings and cramped streets.

Sure the air was bad, and more times as not, the city gave Kagome a particular feeling of claustrophobia in her gut. But it was her…forest…if you will…and she loved it.

And she realized, in that moment, that as much as she loved the city of her birth, she'd give it up for Inuyasha. Because there was no way that Inuyasha could live in her time.

She was okay with that.

Even a month ago she would have felt resentment at having to give up her modern life, her education, and her future career for Inuyasha…but now…now maybe there were other things more important in life than high test scores and successful jobs.

Like being a wife. And a mother. And a miko.

"Don't forget that you promised to bring the runt a toy." Inuyasha reminded her in a gruff voice. Kagome could tell that he was not comfortable with the trail her mind had taken, but he refused to mention it. Kagome realized that the two of them would have to find the time to talk about the future soon. Miscommunication had been the biggest stumbling block in their relationship to date.

'_Well…other than Kikyou, of course.'_

That thought brought to mind all the unfinished business the two of them had in the feudal time. Kikyou was still out there withering away. Their bond was still hyper-sensitive. She still hadn't found a way to bring Shippou through the well. She still hadn't told her mother that she was practically married to Inuyasha. Still hadn't decided if she was going to drop out of school altogether, or just home school. Still needed to----

"**_Stop it!_** What have I told you about _thinking_ too damn **_much_**?" Inuyasha glared at her from over his shoulder as he opened the door for her. Kagome had been so wrapped up in her worries that she didn't even remember walking toward her house.

"Well, someone **has** too! I don't see **_you _**worrying about _any_ of this stuff!" Kagome retorted, a little miffed.

"That's because _I_ have the **_fucking good sense_** to know when worrying. **Won't. Change. Anything!**"

"**_HA! _**You wouldn't know good sense if it bit you in the a---"

"Kagome, maybe you and Inuyasha would like to take your fight out side my home?" Mrs. Higurashi interrupted before Kagome could finish. Both she and Inuyasha jerked to a halt, and for the first time noticed that the kitchen they'd just entered was filled with middle aged ladies. All of whom were now staring at the couple with barely veiled expressions that ranged from horror to distain. Kagome was too shocked to move for a moment, and then out of the corner of her eye she saw Inuyasha's ears twitch. With a hasty bow and an even quicker apology, she pulled him out of the room and toward the stairs. She only hopped that their abrupt entrance and exit prevented any of her mother's friends from noticing the furry appendages.

"Who in _the fucking hell_ were they?" Inuyasha asked as soon as Kagome's door was shut behind them. He took a small moment to breathe in the air of her room as he always did upon first entering. Pure Kagome…only this time there was a little bit of him mixed in. Forest and rain intermingled with flowers and holiness. He knew that eventually their scents would meld so closely that the only way anyone with nose enough to smell them would be able to tell them apart would be their base scent of male or female.

His train of thought was interrupted when Kagome answered his question.

"I think they were my mother's book club. Or maybe her cooking club. No…this is Thursday? No Friday…? It might have been her poetry club, or the painting class she mentioned the last time I came home…Or maybe it was….pottery…No…no she got out of that because of the mess…Mud every where she said…Umm…it could have been her sewing circle…" She stopped when she noticed that Inuyasha was looking at her strangely.

"What?" She asked and self consciously whipped at her face. Kagome realized that she'd been rambling and took a few deep breaths to calm down. It was hard to go from standing toe-to-toe and screaming at each other, and then the next moment being almost civil. It made her nervous.

"Does your mother _**ever **sleep_?" He asked in an incredulous voice. His ears were swiveling madly, listening to the sounds of old bones creaking as the women in the floor below shifted in their chairs. He didn't like strangers being in Kagome's house. It made him nervous.

"I guess she just likes to keep busy. I have a feeling that doing all of that keeps her from worrying about me too." Kagome said quietly as she took a seat on her bed. She noticed the layer of find dust covering her desk, and the sheets of half-completed homework she'd left scattered about. Her mother had been too busy to dust in here this week.

"Keh, she doesn't need to worry about you. I'm always there to protect you!" but even as he made the claim, Inuyasha knew it to be a lie. After all, the bandage on her hand was a testimony to how well he could protect Kagome.

In fact this whole fucking situation was a testimony to how much her mother should be worrying about her oldest child.

"Hey! If I'm not allowed to worry, you mister, are not allowed to sink into self-pity!" Kagome throw a pillow at his head to get his attention. Inuyasha ducked the fluffy projectile and mocked a growl in her direction. Kagome just patted a spot of the bed beside her, and motioned for him to come sit beside her.

"So you're not mad at me anymore?" He asked softly as he came to sit beside her on the bed. Kagome leaned back and tugged at Inuyasha's arm until he was lying beside her. She snuggled into his side and pillowed her head on his shoulder.

"No…" she sighed, "it was just frustrating to be yanked away from my work like that. Getting Shippou through the well is very important to me, and the only way I know how to do that is to modify that spell into something less dangerous."

Kagome hadn't had time to decipher the youkai scroll before Inuyasha had scooped her up and carried her off to the well, despite her very vehement protests. For his part, Inuyasha was truly tired of waiting for Kagome to realize that her hand needed help that could only be found in her modern era. He'd told her she could have until noon, and then he'd given her a few more hours. But when the sun had begun to get low in the west he lost whatever patience he'd possessed.

He was just glad she'd taken the subdue spell away. Because he had a feeling that even though slamming _him _into the ground would in turn hurt _her_, at that moment she would have thought the pain was well worth it.

"I know how much you want this Kagome, but have you ever stopped to think that this might be too much for you? I mean, just a few months ago, you were having trouble with the simplest of miko spells. And when you came into your power it fucking _blinded_ you! Everything else that you've been doing with your magic since then has been purely instinct. And your instinct has almost gotten us killed twice!"

Kagome bristled at his accusations, and sat up. She was hurt that he didn't trust her powers. A small ---**_small_**--- part of her understood, and even agreed with him. Since that fateful day when she'd been blinded she hadn't really worked with Kaede anymore to train her powers. And if she wanted to be completely truthful, she could admit that she'd never really had _any_ formal training at all. Everything she'd been doing since stepping foot in the feudal era so many years ago had been instinctual. But she **_could not_** give up on this!

"Not everything I've done has been bad! I took the subdue spell out of the necklace didn't I?" she reminded him, "And you are the **_absolute last_** person who should be telling me not to follow my instincts!" Kagome got up from the bed and paced to the window.

'_I can not give up on this! I can not! Even if I burn all my powers out I have to find a way to control the well. I know we'll all have to fight Naraku soon…I can fell the end coming…and I will not have Shippou there with us. He's witnessed too much already and some of us…might not make it this time…At least in my time he'll be safe. He _must _be safe.'_

"I wasn't saying not to trust your feelings! Or that everything that you've done has been bad! I just think you should wait and get help from the monk or someone with a little more experience!" Inuyasha stood up too and glared down at her from his superior height. He hated fighting with Kagome, but on this subject he refused to back down. Kagome was just opening her mouth to respond when a knock on her door interrupted her.

"Kagome, Inuyasha? The ladies from my ceramics class are gone if you'd like to come down now and have a snack. Oh, and please leave the fighting in Kagome's bedroom. Ji-chan is trying to take a nap and Souta has a friend over to help with his homework." They both heard her footsteps fade away from the door.

"I'm not going to let you endanger yourself just because you refuse to admit that you need help, Koishii." Inuyasha told her softly as he approached her. Kagome's shoulders slumped as she drew near and she allowed him to take her into his embrace.

"It's just so hard. Suddenly having all this…_power_…at my fingertips, but not having a clue how to use it. I have to be able to send Shippou here when the final battle with Naraku comes! Yet, I can not even rely on my powers to light a cook-fire at night. I feel so…useless." She hid her face in his haori so that she couldn't see his reaction to her words.

"Hey, don't be stupid! You're not useless, wench! Look at all the things you do for every injured stray that crossed our path! You're a fucking angle of mercy to half of Japan. You mother the kit; you take care of everyone when we get our asses handed to us. You're like a sister to Sango…and to me …"He paused as if searching for the right words, "everything."

Kagome had tears in her eyes as she reached up to kiss him soundly. Even though he'd basically given this same speech to her many times before, this time she believed him.

* * *

A few minutes later the two of them headed down the stairs looking for the promised snack, Inuyasha held her hand the whole time, and Kagome tried not to blush at her mother's raised eyebrow. Mrs. Higurashi was just taking cookies out of the oven and she cheerfully indicated the half pitcher of lemonade on the table.

"Half of the ladies are on one of those weird diets that don't allow sweetened juice, and the other half just wanted tea, so I have plenty lemonade left for you two." She continued to busy herself in the kitchen as Kagome got glasses out of the cabinet and poured drinks for herself and Inuyasha. Inuyasha reached out and grabbed a hot cookie off the sheet pan when both their backs were turned and popped it hurriedly into his mouth. Kagome yanked her glass up with a wince and tried to cool the scorched feeling spreading over her tongue. It didn't do much good considering it was only lukewarm at best.

"Inuyasha!" She glared over at him, "That was hot!" Kagome went to the fridge and plopped some ice into her glass.

"What?" he asked as he reached for another cookie, but Kagome slapped his hand before he could take one.

"Those cookies might not feel so hot to you, but it's pretty painful to me." She informed him with a glare. Inuyasha finally realized what her problem was and his ears drooped. He'd gone and done some thing stupid again.

'_Damn it!'_

"Kagome I'm sor---"

"No, its okay…just wait for them to cool, okay?" She glanced over at her mother to make sure that she wasn't looking, and then Kagome leaned over to press a comforting kiss to the side of Inuyasha's mouth. Inuyasha still looked slightly distressed. Kagome sighed.

"You children certainly must have worked through a lot of your issues since the last time you visited me." Mrs. Higurashi said, with her back still turned to them, "Will I have grandchildren with cute little puppy ears soon?"

"Moth—"

"What the fu---'

"Inuyasha, language!"

"It's not like she hasn't heard it before!"

"But _she's_ my mother!"

"I don't give a fuc---"

"I guess I shouldn't have my knitter's league start working on bootees and blankets anytime soon. " She sighed and shook her head. Kagome and Inuyasha shifted uncomfortable, and Kagome let go of the chunk of his hair she'd been yanking on.

"So, what brings you both here? No…no don't try to come up with some kind of pleasant excuse. It's only been a few weeks since the last time you were home, and I didn't expect you for at least a month or two." She continued as if her daughter had not just been trying to pull the half-youkai bald.

"I was…injured…a few days ago on a shard hunt," Kagome held up her bandaged hand, "Sango stitched it up for me, but Inuyasha says it smells infected so we came back so I could see the doctor." Kagome answered before Inuyasha could even open his mouth. He was not to be deterred though.

"Higurashi-san, it's my fault that Kagome's hurt. If I'd hadn't been so fucking stupid!" His ears flattened into his hair. Kagome shook her head violently and turned toward her mother in earnest.

"It was not his fault! It was an accident! No. One. Is. At. Fault!" That last part she aimed at Inuyasha. He just snarled at her and turned away.

Kagome's mother came over to where her daughter and Inuyasha were sitting and knelt down at the table. She poured herself a glass of lemonade and frowned at its temperature after taking a sip. She contemplated her daughter for a moment before speaking.

"I'd like the whole truth now. In all the years you've been going down that well, I've never asked for the details. I could imagine what dangerous, horrible things you must be witnessing on a daily bases, and those imaginations were terrible enough without the truth. Every time you came home injured, every time I caught sight of a new scar, all those times you checked medical books out of the library for kami-sama only knows what, the times you've come to say good bye because you _didn't_ know if you were ever coming back! This time I don't want a half truth to spare my feelings. I have to know what's going on!" She slammed her glass down onto the table with the last word, and to her satisfaction, both the young people winced.

Good. She'd gotten through to them.

"You can start with the spell Kaede miko-sama preformed to allow you to see through his eyes, Kagome." Mrs. Higurashi folded her hands neatly on top the table and waited.

* * *

.Some hours later.

"Momma, it's not like we kept it from you on purpose!" Kagome tried to reason with her pacing mother. Apparently the unflappable Mrs. Higurashi's legendary calm _could_ be shaken. Not by the news that her daughter's immortal soul had been tied to a half-youkai's for all of eternity. No, that didn't bother her. "I've always expected something like this to happen, dear, just not something quite so permanent." No what bothered her was that said daughter had been missing a chunk of said soul. They had been sitting in the kitchen for hours now.

First, her mother had sat silently while they told the story of how the spell had changed over time. Kagome, and when she ran out of words, Inuyasha, did their best to fill in all the blanks. They didn't try to soften the story at any part; although Kagome was hesitant to tell her mother about all the times she'd tried to unbind herself from Inuyasha.

Then when they were completely finished, they sat back and waited for her questions. And, oh, did she have questions. Mostly about Kikyou…and Kagome's stupidity about spiritual matters.

"How could you have been so irresponsible Kagome? You grew up in a spiritual family! You should have known what happens to people missing pieces of their souls! Things like _this_ happen! Evil spirits posses you! I…I just can't…!" Mrs. Higurashi threw up her hands and just shook her head. Kagome took a deep breath and tried again for the fourth time to get her mother to listen to her explanation.

"Momma, I didn't realize the seriousness of Kikyou having part of my soul before the accident that took my sight. Nothing _too_ bad…happened before that. We had no idea that Inuyasha's soul would try to compensate for my lose when Kaede set the spell." She exchanged glances with Inuyasha, trying not to think of all the times bad things such as her mother described _had_ happened before she'd lost her sight. "Plus Kikyou needed it more than I did." But what she really meant was that _Inuyasha_ needed Kikyou to have it.

"And _you!_" The irate mother swung to face Inuyasha, "_You! _Kagome is missing a part of her soul because you couldn't let go of the past! What happens when you have to face this Kikyou again and she's dying, huh? Are you going to choose her over Kagome again! No wonder Kagome came home crying so much! You let her almost kill herself twic---"

"Mother!" Kagome stood up quickly, horrified, and interrupted her mother's rant, "I will _not_ let you speak to Inuyasha like that. You can not understand the anguish he's been through since the very beginning of this. He's not at fault for following his feelings," she swallowed hard and her voice cracked with her next words, "Even if those feelings lead him away from me most of the time. When he first made the choice to keep Kikyou alive we'd only know each other for a few weeks. After that, he was obligated to take care of her. When we found out…when we found out that because Kaede had tied us together…"

Kagome trailed off, wondering how to make her mother understand all of the feelings that had swirled around in her head during those early weeks of the bond..._That still swirled around her head daily. _

How did you explain such deep pain and confusion to someone who hadn't been there? How did you articulate sleepless nights and crushing guilt, coupled with _relief_ that you would never have worry about losing the one you loved to another person again?

To a person who looked liked you. Sounded like you. Smelled like you?

How did you explain the fear that every time he looked at you, or touched you, or kissed you, that he was thinking of _her._

How did you explain that even with all this _doubt_ you still loved him so much that it hurt? That every bit and every fiber in your whole entire being _longed_ to be with him.

_**No. Matter. What.**_

Inuyasha tugged her back down onto the floor beside him pressed a hard kiss to her mouth, not caring that her mother would see. He knew the thoughts that were churning inside of her, tearing her up inside. But he was in awe at her loyalty to him. And for the first time it hit home just how much she loved him. It no longer mattered that she had trouble saying the words. This was enough. He looked over at her mother, and spoke for the first time in almost in hour.

"I understand how angry you are right now. And nothing I'm gonna say will make you believe that I've loved your daughter practically from first time I saved her ass from youkai. I just didn't know how to deal with loving her until this shit started. But I _can_ promise that I'm sure as hell gonna stay by her side for the rest of my life." He stood up and moved over in front of Kagome's mother.

"You wanted the truth? The whole, complete truth about what happens on the other side of that damn well? The truth is that your daughter is the most courageous woman I have ever met. She put up with me when all I could offer her was my protection. And kami-sama knows I fucking failed at that most of the time. I don't give a damn about how many times we've almost lost our souls in the last month. **Kagome is mine.** No one can ever take her away. Ever." He finished in a growl.

Mrs. Higurashi stared up into the young man's face for a long moment. His eyes were such a dark golden color that they looked almost orange in the artificial light of the kitchen.

This was the man who had hurt her daughter so very often.

This was the man who promised to protect her daughter and so often failed.

This was the man that her daughter ran back to just as often.

"Do you mean it?" She asked, her tone starting out soft but gaining firmness near the end, "Do you mean it when you say you love her? Does that mean that you love her enough to stay with _her?_ In a nut shell the story that I've heard tonight is about how _Kagome_ stays with _you_ no matter what. You wanted to go off and fight this evil person as revenge, so she goes. You can't even make up your mind between the living and the dead, yet she stays. The whole tale revolves around her following you. So _tell_ me Inuyasha, and I promise to never ask again, will you still be with her when age has turned her skin thin and her hair gray? When she can't lose the weight she's gained from carrying your children? I have to know before I give my daughter to you if you love her as much as she loves you?"

"Inuyasha you don't have to…"Kagome tried to jump in.

"No I do. I love your daughter. I love your daughter enough to die for her, but more importantly I love Kagome enough to **_live_** for her. She is the only person. **_The only person_**, _do you_ **_understand_,** in my whole entire miserable life, who hasn't looked down on me for my blood. Damn, I don't deserve her, but there it is." His voice was more growl than anything when he finished. His hands were shaking from his intensity, and his ears were nonexistent on the top of his head.

And Mrs. Higurashi believed him.

* * *

The room held silence but for the deep breathing of the girl's companion.

It was a still kind of silence. Not so much the absence of noise, because there was some noise. Night noise from animals outside, the sound of the T.V from the room below, and the low murmur of the voices from Kagome's family members who were still awake. No, it was more an absence of movement, even though the window was cracked half way.

Her bedroom was bathed in blue holiness. The moonlight from the open window poured in and coated everything in a surreal radiance. Normal objects, like her discarded coat on the floor, the pencil case on her desk, crumpled papers in the waste basket, and half open text books, took on a magical glow. Yet for all this, the stillness and the magic, the girl moved restlessly in her bed. She paid no mind to the azure lull. Tonight her thoughts focused on the future.

A future that up until a few weeks ago had seemed very far away.

It surprised her how suddenly the future could sneak up on a person. But here it was. It was time for her to choose between living in a time where everything was easy and automatic, or an era where everything a person needed to survive had to be paid for with sweat and blood. Her era had it's hardships of course, there was the absolute need for an education, and the constant threat of global warming or some other calamity that humans had brought on themselves. And there was the crime. The wars and muggings and raps of women and of children and murder and all the _hate_ people had for their fellow humans. But Kagome's era couldn't claim a monopoly on the sick twisted things humans could inflict upon each other. Inuyasha's time had all of that in abundance too.

When it came right down to it, the 21st century was the best choice, the smartest choice for her. Because at least here she wouldn't have to work herself into an early grave just to put food in the mouths of her children. Here she wouldn't have to worry about the whims of warlords and demons. Here she wouldn't have to work so damn hard just to survive.

Here she would actually have in-door toilets and microwave ovens.

The hanyou beside her stirred in his sleep and rolled over, searching for her missing warmth. One of his hands crept out from under the blue-washed blanket and sought her out. She caught his hand in hers and gently stroked one of his soft ears. He mumbled unintelligible words and settled back into sleep.

Here she wouldn't have Inuyasha, because she could see no way for her hanyou to be comfortable in this era of digital clocks and electric lights. Even with all its comfort, this just wasn't the life for him. Inuyasha _enjoyed_ the fight for survival. The constant grapple for dominance. It was the proof he needed to convince himself that he was still alive.

When she'd been talking to her mother tonight she'd realized that she was finally ready to give it all up. She'd give up hot water out of a faucet and comfortable modern clothes.

For this man, she'd give up her education. The thing that had meant so much to her for so many years.

She loved this man. Truly, deeply, abundantly, adored this man. These feelings she had now were so different than the ones she'd had on that long ago day when she'd declared that she would never leave his side. Then, she'd felt mostly friendship, loyalty, and maybe the first stirrings of the deeper thing that now lived in her heart. Kagome knew now that she was ready.

Ready to admit to Inuyasha how she felt.

Ready to accept that she was bound, heart and soul, to him forever.

Ready to acknowledge that she wasn't wholly human anymore.

Ready to move on and live.

Ready to be happy.

"You still up?" Inuyasha's sleep-rough voice croaked up from beside her. Kagome looked down at him. Her arms were wrapped around her drawn-up knees, and for the first time she realized that she was cold.

"Umm-hmm. I was just thinking." She smiled at him, and moved to snuggle back down under the covers at his side. Inuyasha enveloped her in a one arm embrace. With his other hand he found a strand of her hair and played with it.

"Keh, what have I told you about thinking? It's deadly." He growled without any real heat. Kagome rolled her eyes; even though she was pretty sure he had his eyes closed.

"If you don't want me to know your doing something, then don't think about it so loudly." Kagome sighed at his words and rolled over on her side facing him propping up on her elbow.

"Tomorrow I'll go see the doctor if mom can get an appointment, and if not, I'll have to go to the emergency room." She waved off his curiosity, "It's just a different kind of place to find a healer. Then on the way home we can stop by a toy store for Shippou. Mom should have some supplies ready for us when we get back. Then we can go…home." She waited for him to comment of her hesitation, but he didn't.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to school while we're here?" Inuyasha asked as he brushed his clawed finger down her cheek. Kagome distractedly noticed that the blue moonlight turned his silver hair lilac. Such a girly color for so fierce a man.

"No…no I've decided to stop going to school…it's just not as important to me as it was. Not to say that I'm going to stop learning…just at home, and at my own pace." She shifted, wondering if he would catch her entire meaning. Inuyasha's eyes were hooded, but she could feel his confusion and wonderment. He couldn't understand why. Even after all the things he'd said to her mother, he still couldn't understand.

Maybe he was still sleep befuddled.

"I realized something tonight; that up until recently the only reason I was so obsessed with finishing school was because I believed that with out an education I would have no future security. I believed that after the jewel quest was finally finished I would go back down the well and never come back. So I had to have some way to take care of myself. Because you, Sango, Miroku and even Shippou would no longer be here for me to depend on. Now…well now, things are different." She moved her head off of her palm to lay against his chest.

"Different how?" Oh, he had an understanding of what she was trying to say to him now. But he _had_ to hear it from her in plan language. The time for fancy word games and endless verbal circles were over. Inuyasha's heart sped up, and echoed painfully in his ears. He waited, and thought he would surly die, before she opened her mouth to spit out whatever truth she'd found. This was a moment that would change the rest of his life.

"I'm ready. I realized tonight that everything…my guilt over Kikyou, my worries about the future, the physical things that have gone wrong, none of it means anything. Because I would do it all over if it meant I would be able to spend the rest of my eternity with you. All I truly ever wanted was for you to love me, and I have that now. I can face anything, Naraku and possibly living to see myself being born…. Because I love you. Because you finally…finally…finally belong to me, and me alone."

Inuyasha was silent for a brief moment. It seemed to him like he'd forgotten to breathe. But that only lasted for a fraction of forever before he'd flipped over on top of Kagome. He had her surrounded by his hair and his hands, and his weight on top of her pushed her into the mattress. Kagome could feel his breath puffing rapidly against her face, and she couldn't pull her eyes away from the sudden brightness of his own orbs.

"Do you mean that?" He growled, in an entirely different tone than he normally used. Why did this voice send shivers down her spine and heat pooling in strange places?

"You know I do." She breathed out. He was so close to her that his face was all she could see.

"Say it again." Inuyasha nuzzled the side of her neck, brushing light kisses onto her suddenly sensitive skin.

"Which part?" Now she was just being difficult. Well two could play at that. Inuyasha turned his kisses into nips as he worked his way down her neck and onto her collarbone. Her shivers were shutters now.

"The part where you say," He stopped to blow lightly on her damp skin, much to her distraction, "that I belong to you…And that you love me…" He turned his attention to her jaw line.

"Oh…that part." Kagome decided against anymore games. She wanted him to finish what he'd started. Now. "I. Love. You."

With her words Inuyasha finally allowed himself to kiss her. It was a slow deliberate kiss. He gently asked for entrance into her mouth and Kagome consented with a moan. Inuyasha found the hold he had on his instincts slipping. Her taste…Her smell. It surrounded him and lived through him and became one with him. Then she did something to their link. And if wasn't unpleasant.

Go figure.

Whatever Kagome had done, it allowed him to feel her desire for him…this was different than feeling her emotions or hearing her thoughts…The edges of his perspective blurred and the desire to take her doubled. Somehow she lost her shirt, Inuyasha would never figure out which one of them had thrown it across the room. He pulled himself away from her lips reluctantly, then made his way down toward her heaving chest. One hand came up to cup her breast, and Kagome's quick inhale and spiked sent told him all he needed to know. He smirked at her. Enjoying the way her skin was flushed and her eyes were half wild. Then he deliberately caught her gaze and leaned down to take one of her peaked nipples into his mouth. Her hands fisting in his hair was all the encouragement he needed.

Kagome had never felt like this before. The burning in her center called out for something…more. She shifted her hips, trying to find that thing she needed mindlessly. Her hands clenched erratically in Inuyasha's hair as he switched his attention to her other breast.

"Ah…I need…Inuyasha…I" To her frustration she couldn't get anymore past her lips. She managed to free one hand from his hair and moved it down her body, searching for something…anything to help relieve the pressure. Her questing hand brushed up against something hard that was pressing against her hip and Inuyasha released a strangled sound that was between a yelp and growl. She squeezed, realizing now in her lust flavored haze just what it was that she was fondling.

The abrupt feeling of cold air on her bare skin was the only warning she had before Inuyasha was crouched half way across her bedroom. She sat up, chest heaving with surprise and unfulfilled passion, and shot him a worried look.

"Inuyasha?" she asked, not being able to say more.

"I…we…remember…we can't do this…"He was breathing just as irregular as she was, and trying desperately to control himself.

"Why…again…? Something about Myoga, right?" She wanted to beckon him back to bed, but didn't feel comfortable doing such a thing. Her breathing was slowing down, but the ache in her center wasn't going away. She pressed her thighs together, and hoped that that would help.

"Because, I'm not sure how us…being together…will change the bound. Until the flea gets back with answers…we can't do…that." He finished lamely. He kept his gaze on the floor and tried to concentrate on taking in as little air as possible.

"Oh." Was all she said, and suddenly he had to get out. He couldn't stay in here with the smell of her desire still permeating the air, and her eyes looking so dejected. He quickly stood and crossed the room to the window. At its base he found her pajama top and threw it over his shoulder without even looking toward her bed.

"I'll…I just need some fresh air."

Then he was gone. And Kagome was left wondering, not for the first time, just what kind of information he'd sent Myoga after. And how long it would take the flea to find it.

* * *

TBC

Okay…So nothing happened…yet it did…

I've decided not to get bogged down anymore with random stuff…The next chapter will get the plot moving again. I've had to restructure the end of this story a bit…but I think I like where it's headed now. The new direction will clean up some of the messy ends that the first version would have left.

I'm terribly sorry that it's taken this long to get this chapter out...I've moved twice since I last posted…and college…

That's really all I have to say. But I have taken pains of late to get my priorities straight ...and I'm scheduling in some "fun" time, which includes time to write.

I also recently stopped taking my antidepressant… (and I don't advise that anyone do that without their doctor's permission) and doing that has given me back my creativity.

Anyway…next time on TWTHE!

**Myoga comes back**…and look! He brought guests! But no answers…

**It's time for another journey**…but this one isn't for shards!

**And Kouga and Kikyou** (not together, separately, but in the same chapter) come to pay our favorite couple a visit!

**Oh, yes, there will be blood…**

See ya' soon (Figuratively speaking of course)


	18. Ode to the Dying Rose part One

_Disclaimer: My ownership of Inuyasha has been disclaimed_

_AN: Well folks, it's been a year and a day and I'm sorry about that. Lots of shit has happened that I'll not explain here…this is the first part of the end. It's been fun. I'm crying now. More on that later. Read the last chapter._

_**So please refrain from pointing out my mistakes. Thanks.**_

**::RECAP::**

"_Because, I'm not sure how us…being together…will change the bond. Until the flea gets back with answers…we can't do…that." He finished lamely. He kept his gaze on the floor and tried to concentrate on taking in as little air as possible. _

"_Oh." Was all she said, and suddenly he had to get out. He couldn't stay in here with the smell of her desire still permeating the air, and her eyes looking so dejected. He quickly stood and crossed the room to the window. At its base he found her pajama top and threw it over his shoulder without even looking toward her bed. _

"_I'll…I just need some fresh air."_

_Then he was gone. And Kagome was left wondering, not for the first time, just what kind of information he'd sent Myoga after. And how long it would take the flea to find it._

**::END RECAP::**

Chapter 18 part 1: Ode to a Dying Rose

-

This is an ode to a dying rose

I know that I'll love you to the end of time

So please kiss me before you tell me goodbye

-

The loud, dry rattle in her chest provided a strange kind of music to her wandering. She allowed a small brittle smile to crack upon her lips. She remembered a time when she'd been alive…oh but it had been so long ago…going to visit a leper colony by the coast. She'd felt such pity for the people there. They literally lost parts of limbs and faces while the effects of the disease kept them separated from the outside world. At the time she couldn't imagine having to live in a world where her loved ones mourned her death and moved on while she yet had breath in her body.

She drew in another arid wheeze and felt bits of sand trickle down her throat.

She could do more than pity them now, of course, she could sympathize. Parts of her were drying up and crumbling off…just like a clay pot that had been in the sun for too many years without water. It was a small miracle that her face was mostly still intact. She knew that it wouldn't be long before her insides simply stopped trying to pump grit.

Meanwhile, the people she had loved were lost to her. Her sister, her village….

'_Inuyasha…'_ Oh, it was too late for her now, probably had been too late since the very beginning.

This was her monologue.

This was her simple truth.

She had played the part of the forerunner.

This time.

A precursor to the real power, who would soon take the stage in full costume. She had truly loved Inuyasha, but the one who followed in her likeness loved him more. Kikyou had been there when the curtain had risen on this fifty year conflict, but Kagome would see the grand finale. They were both sunshine and shadow mixed in the endless waltz through time and stage.

Now was Kagome's time.

And Kikyou's had passed.

Her only regret was that she would not see how it all ended. She would never see the curtain drop.

'_Inuyasha, I'll see you one more time…'_ She struggled to find the metal strength to call up her last remaining soul-stealer. Yesterday she'd lost the ability to control most of them, and her faithful companions for the last two years departed without much of a good-bye. This one though, had been the first, and for reasons of its own, stayed. Kikyou didn't question its apparent loyalty, but she was thankful.

"Take…me west. There is one…last thing…I must do."

-

Well, at least it wasn't raining on this side of the well.

That was Kagome's first thought as Inuyasha hoisted her out of the future and into the past. In her time the weather had turned nasty sometime in the night after Inuyasha had left her room. She hadn't asked him how he'd passed the night out in the rain this morning, because she suspected that he's welcomed the chilly downpour. For a moment she paused at the lip of the well and tried to hold in a weary sigh.

Today…had been long.

It had started with Inuyasha gruffly waking her up the morning after they'd almost…well, the thought of it still had Kagome blushing. She'd gone downstairs for breakfast to find out that her mother had indeed gotten her an appointment with their family doctor. After that the morning was a whirl of convincing Inuyasha that, _**yes **he had to wear these stupid clothes_ _**no he **could notgo bare foot and he could** absolutely NOT carry his sword in public!!**_ Kagome had been tired before even arriving at the office. But her trial wasn't over yet. No not by any stretch of the imagination.

She was a walk in appointment.

That meant they had to wait.

And waiting was not something that Inuyasha was good at.

The first hour hadn't been that bad. Awkward after the night before yes, but not that bad. Inuyasha amused himself with an old magazine advertising knives and swords and she'd caught up on some pop culture. But a person can only look at glossy pictures for so long…She ignored his shifting and sighing for as long as she could before finally putting down her magazine and looking over at him. Her glare just dared him to complain about having to set here with her. Inuyasha shut his mouth with a click, and swallowed down whatever he was about to say to her.

"Inuyasha, why don't you look at this." She handed him the Japanese version of a Highlights, "On this page you have to find all the little pictures hidden in the bigger picture. Like this" she pointed to a funny looking cloud in the picture," See that's the same bunny that's in the key down here, now you try." He looked a bit curious as he took the book from her, but it only took him a moment to realize that it was a children's book.

"Real funny wench…real funny." His glare would have made her giggle at his expense if it hadn't been a mite too serious. She reached over and patted his cheek, ignoring the indignant growl that rumbled in his chest.

"I was only trying to help. Remember that we wouldn't be here if you hadn't insisted that I needed to see a doctor." His only response was to 'keh' at her. Kagome didn't mind because he caught the hand she'd had pressed to his face and held it in his lap. She thought that that would be the end of it. That Inuyasha would calm down and stop fidgeting. That he would somehow be calmed by her soothing aura or some such nonsense.

In her dreams…maybe.

By the time she was called back to see the doctor, they'd been sitting in the waiting room for three hours. In that time, Inuyasha had threatened to kill at least two people, and had growled at countless others. And his mouth! Every mother in the office was out for his blood and several children were going home with an…enhanced…vocabulary. He snarled at the doctor the whole time, but the doctor mostly ignored it after Kagome hinted that Inuyasha's new antipsychotic medication wasn't working well. She felt bad for saying it, especially when Inuyasha didn't know enough about modern medicine to defend himself, but it kept the uncomfortable questions away.

Kagome had never been so glad to get out of any situation as she had been to leave the doctor's office. The doctor and nurse had bought her story about cutting her hand while camping with friends in a remote area of the country. They'd even congratulated her on her quick thinking and make-shift patch up. Well, it really hadn't been too much of a lie…

After that they'd gone to a toy store where Kagome and Inuyasha had fought _again_ over what to bring Shippou. Kagome wanted to buy the giant dog plushie, and Inuyasha wanted to toy sword. She reminded him that she had better taste and had been right about the squirrel. He insisted that it had been a lucky guess, and Shippou couldn't miss what he'd never had. Like a snake. He'd never had a snake so he couldn't compare how much cooler a snake was than a squirrel. At this point Kagome pointed out that Shippou had never had a sword either.

"Keh, but he's seen me use one…and I know he wants one too!" Inuyasha thought his logic was sound. And it might have been with anyone other than Kagome.

"Yes, and I'm sure he wants a wind tunnel too. Do you want me to find out if they sell them in miniature here too?" Kagome raised an eyebrow and taped her foot on the floor in impatiens. Inuyasha looked cornered, but only for a moment.

"But Miroku's wind tunnel in dangerous and a sword…" too late he realized the hidden trap, "…isn't?"

"Right Inuyasha, a weapon used to slice people up into tiny pieces isn't dangerous?"

Kagome 1: Inuyasha 0.

They finally settled on a toy car, although Inuyasha was doubtful that Shippou would even understand what the contraption was. Kagome thought that a toy car would help prepare Shippou for seeing them when she finally got him across the time slip. Inuyasha just folded his arms and mumbled about practicality and swords.

Finally they'd made it back to the shrine where Kagome's mother had already had their bags packed with enough food and snacks to last their whole party a while. She'd shared a thankful look with her mother as Inuyasha gathered up all their bags. Her mother seemed to sense that this trip to the past would be rather extended.

Kagome hugged her mother and whispered, "You'll take care of the school for me, want you? I know that when my…friends find out that they'll want answers. Promise that you won't let Ji-chan come up with anymore excuses."

"I'll take care of everything. You just be careful, okay? I want to meet your Shippou sometime before I'm old and gray!" Her mother pasted of a happy smile, and Kagome got a glimpse of what she must look like when she was trying to be cheerful. Her mother was older, yes, but it was basically the same expression.

"I'll bring him as soon as I can figure the well out, Mama!" Kagome pulled away from her mother and walked over to where Inuyasha waited by the well.

"Ready?" He asked as he grasped her hand. Kagome nodded her head and let him pull her down into the darkness.

Now they were on the other side of the well, and Kagome was looking forward to a nice long nap before they headed out to find whatever shard rumor Miroku had heard about while their group had been separate.

It was not to be.

She sensed that something was up the minute she popped her head up out of the well. In the many years she'd been climbing up out of the future she'd learned to expect surprises. After all, it only took one swipe for a hostile youkai to sever body parts from their owners, and she rather liked where her head sat, thank you. So before Miroku even rushed into sight, she'd already glanced at Inuyasha to see if he'd felt the same presence as she had. He just nodded at her and waited for Miroku to get closer.

"Inuyasha," Miroku's voice held a strained kind of forced calmness, "Welcome back! Umm…you might want to put your sword away…" Inuyasha had drawn Tetsusaiga on principle alone after feeling _his_ presence and waited for the monk to tell him why the **_hell _**he _shouldn't _draw his sword. Not so far behind him was Sango, with Kirara and Shippou in her arms. Kagome let out a sigh, so their visitor wasn't an immediate threat to the village. Sango was still dressed in her everyday clothes, and Kirara was still pocket sized. Shippou scampered down and raced over to Kagome who scooped him up. The little kit perched himself on her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

"I wanted to stay and play, but Sango wouldn't let me." He whispered in her ear.

"Well, don't just stand there! You can't fucking come running up to me like that and then not tell me what the hell is going on, damn it!" Inuyasha didn't put his sword away, but he did lower it to his side.

"Sorry, it's just that I don't really know how to tell you this…and," Miroku eyed the sword and repeated his earlier request, "Maybe it would be a good idea if you put the sword away."

"Hell NO! Not until I know what's going on!" Inuyasha tightened his hold on the hilt. "Why would you even say something so fucking stupid monk? I thought you had more sense that that! My brother's here and I want to know fucking _why Say something!!_"

"Um…sorry, I was just considering the life span of a messenger," Inuyasha raised his sword a little and Miroku visibly swallowed, "Alright, alright, no need to be like that! It's just Myoga-jichan came back today with---"

"The flea's back too? That bastard had better hope---"

"…more than you probably bargained for. It seems your brother felt the need to come too." Miroku looked uncertain, and Sango came to stand beside Kagome.

"I'm glad your back. We didn't arrive until midday today, and Myoga was already here with…them. Kaede-sama says that they arrived in the forest just after the two of you left. Sesshomaru says he's come to answer Inuyasha's question." Kagome looked at her strangely.

"Come to answer…? I knew he sent him a letter requesting information about what ever is going wrong with our link…but why did he come _in person_?"

"**_Fucking hell!" _**Inuyasha swore and interrupted any response Sango would have given. "That fucking bastard!" The monk raised his hands to fend off Inuyasha's outburst.

"I'm just the messenger! They were here when I got here! Ask Myoga why they're here!"

"That would be quite impossible. The retainer fled shortly after we arrived in this backwater village. And this Sesshomaru would thank you to remember, brother, that our esteemed father was _married_ to my mother. **You** are the bastard of the family." Every head jerked to the left where Sesshomaru had set himself quite regally on the lip of the well. Rin stood beside him looking curiously at them all. She caught sight of Shippou and waved. The fox kit in Kagome's arms began to wiggle to be put down.

"Can I go play with Rin now, okaa-chan?" He looked up at her with pleading eyes and Kagome nodded. He was off in a flash, yelling for Rin to follow. In the wake of such a noisy exit the silence that reined in the clearing was thick.

"Why are you here Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha growled. His grip on his sword tightened and he raised it up a little.

"Put your weapon away, Inuyasha. I've told you time and again that you aren't worth killing."

"**_Hell no! I-- _**"

'_Inuyasha, please do as he says…At least try to hear him out.' _Kagome's voice in his mind interrupted the rest of his sentence. He glared at his brother for a long minute, but finally put his sword away.

"Fine. Speak." Inuyasha glared at his half-brother, but otherwise made no other threatening gestures toward him. For his part, Sesshomaru ignored the glare and smirked. He was enjoying this very, very much.

"Before I give you the information you seek, little brother, we must first discus the issue of price."

"**_What—_**"

"To put it into words that your feeble hanyou brain can understand: Nothing in this world is free." Sesshomaru sat back and watched Inuyasha's face contort. Inuyasha quickly turned his back, and Sesshomaru could see his fists convulsing.

'_Huh, maybe the little abomination is learning some control over that temper of his…"_ He watched as his brother's bitch moved to his side and grasped his shaking fists. The hanyou's shoulders relaxed.

'_Definitely worthy…for a human miko…'_ A year ago he would have been utterly disgusted by such thoughts…How could a _**human **female_**ever** be _worthy _of a son of the great youkai lord of the west, even if said son was a pathetic half-breed?

But raising a human girl changed a youkai…even one as powerful and apparently hard-hearted as he.

Even after Kagome tugged at his mostly relaxed fists Inuyasha did not turn around. Kagome could tell by the look on his face just how hard this was for him. Asking for aid from his brother was easier by far when he didn't actually have to see the mocking look in Sesshomaru's eyes. Kagome pressed a cool palm up to his check.

'_You don't have to do this for me. I know how hard it must have been to even send Myoga-jichan to ask for information. We can find another way to fix the side effects!'_

Inuyasha flipped his palm up and grasp the hand still residing on his fist before turning his head to press a kiss to the palm on his cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment and just breathed in her sent. He had promised himself that he would do anything for her. Even this. With her at his side he could face his brother's scorn and the anger that burned hotly inside of his soul at the sight of Sesshomaru's smirking face.

Or at least he would try…

'_No, Koishii, this could be our only chance. Sesshomaru knows how to fix this. The bastard just wants to make me beg for it first.'_ He kissed her forehead and turned back to the waiting youkai.

"What do you want." It didn't really come out as a question.

"Ah…naming the price can come tomorrow. This Sesshomaru only wished to inform you that there would be a price to pay." Inuyasha's grip on Kagome's tightened painfully and he growled deeply in his throat.

Kagome could have sworn she saw Sesshomaru actually smile.

"The answer to your problem is really quite simple…"He paused to flick some lint from his empty sleeve.

Yes…this was definitely turning out to be a very, very long day.

-

Shippou watched with something akin to horror was Rin wrestled Mame-chan into a small, ill-shaped kimono. The girl was babbling on and on about something, but all he could really focus on the squirrel's placid expression.

He felt so…betrayed… Mame-chan was supposed to be an extraordinary super savage death defying youkai squirrel! He should at least be putting up a struggle against Rin manipulation.

"…and then the nice lady that made my new kimono told me that I could have the left over fabric to make a dress for my dolly, but I told her that I didn't have a dolly and she got really mad! She asked me who my daddy was and why he was such a mean man not to buy me a dolly and I told her that my family was all killed by bandits, and that I had been killed by a wolf but that Sesshomaru-sama had raised me up from the dead and that now he was sort of my papa, but not really because he was a youkai and really didn't like humans, except he liked me okay…sometimes…and then she got really scared and called the village men…and Sesshomaru had to fight them, only he really didn't even try hard because they were only puny farmers, you know, and he's a really great, all powerful, youkai lord…and then he told me not to tell humans every thing I know…"

And she just kept talking…Shippou found it a little creepy how long the girl could talk without drawing a breath. He tried to hold his breath in time with her pauses, but found that he needed air long before she had ran out of steam.

"…so anyway, that's how I made these dresses for Mame-chan! Doesn't she look cute?" Rin held out Shippou's poor squirrel and he felt like crying. Mame-chan was covered in a dress of bright pink silk, and didn't even have the grace to look embarrassed. Shippou reached forward and hurriedly took his pet from her hands. He stuffed Mame-chan back into his shirt, and reached for the first thing he could find to distract Rin from the fact that he'd taken the squirrel from her.

"Look! This is a book that my okaa-chan brought me back from her world."

"What do you mean her world? Isn't Kagome-chan from here?" Rin took the book from his hands and started to flip through its colorful pages.

In his haste to give Rin something else to focus on he forgot that **he** shouldn't tell everything he knew either….

-

There was a stunned, awkward pause as everyone but Sesshomaru tried not to blush or make eye contacted with anyone else. The moment was actually quite surreal. Most of the gathered group was asking themselves if the youkai lord had really said what they thought he'd said.

Inuyasha was just in denial and fighting the desire to cover his ears. Let the others just wonder. He _refused _to believe that his brother had just said he needed **_to consummate his relationship._**

Miroku hadn't heard anything after consummate and was know trying to gage how much damage Sango would do to him if he touched her ass.

"But the flea said---"

"Therein lays your problem, Inuyasha. You stupidly took mating advice from humans and fleas." Sesshomaru gave his brother a withering look. How such stupidity could have sprung from their father's bloodline was beyond Sesshomaru and he made a point of telling the hanyou just that.

"I'll show you stupidity! I'll rip off your other arm!" Inuyasha had had enough and lunged for his brother. Sesshomaru quickly stood up and readied himself for Inuyasha's attack.

"You were lucky two years ago but do not expect it to happen again." Suddenly the hairs on the back of his neck stood up as an electrified tension filled the air. All heads snapped to Kagome who was practically bleeding miko energy. She didn't say anything, but both brothers got the idea. Inuyasha had the grace to look chastised. Sesshomaru simply sat back down on the well and waited for someone to ask another question.

"We were told that there was no cure for…the side effects that we are experiencing…"Kagome spoke up when she was sure that there would not be an outbreak of violent behavior. She tried not to flinch when Sesshomaru turned his eyes onto her. They were so much like Inuyasha's but lacked all of his warmth and hidden kindness. She suppressed a shiver, but did not look away. Her heart was still pounding from the fear she had experienced when she'd let her energy flare. Youkai were unpredictable, and Sesshomaru could have chosen to take her head off for threatening him instead of just resettling himself.

"Do not misunderstand me, miko. You will still mirror his wounds. You will still share his thoughts, and you will still have to share a close physical proximity to your mate." His tone implied that he was unimpressed by her intelligence and it was Kagome's turn to feel anger crawl up her throat.

'_What I wouldn't give to SIT him right now.'_

'_I'd give up a few shards to see that. He'd find a way to chew his own head from his body if you collared him.'_

Sesshomaru continued, oblivious to the couple's thoughts, "What consummating your relationship will do is stabilize its apparent hyper-sensitivity. The wounds will only be minor bruises and so forth."

"Rejoice Inuyasha! Soon you will be able to experience the pleasure that only a wom---Ouch!" Miroku spoke up from his place beside Kirara and Sango. Before he could blink or Sango could punch him, Inuyasha's fist had connected with one side of his head, and a rock from Sesshomaru had left its mark on the other. Sango lowered her raised hand to her side. The brothers had done a much better job than she could. For his part, Miroku felt the sudden need to sit down and wait for the dizziness to pass.

As for Inuyasha and Sesshomaru, they had both just realized that for possibly the first time in their lives they had acted in unity without being forced too. Sesshomaru abruptly decided to go collect Rin from the clutches of the fox brat, while Inuyasha could only stare at his hand and try not to whimper.

"This Sesshomaru will send Jaken tomorrow to collect your payment." Kagome tried to protest that she didn't even know what he wanted yet, but she was ignored.

"Well…that was interesting." Sango spoke up for the first time as she kneeled down to check Miroku's pupils for signs of a concussion. Kagome was sure that it was the understatement of the century.

-

"…so she goes back and forth through the well and maybe someday I'll be able to go too!" Shippou preened a little in the stunned silence that followed his explanation of just where Kagome was from. Rin's eyes where large and her mouth was set in a small "o". Shippou was very proud of himself for shocking her into quietness. He felt it was a feat that even the "great" Sesshomaru probably couldn't accomplish. But all good things have to end, and Rin shook off her shock quickly enough.

"Teach me! Sesshomaru-sama says that as soon as we go home for the winter that I have to start learning how to be a proper lady…that means that I have to learn how to play an instrument, how to write calligraphy…but this sounds sooooo much more interesting! I want to know about the future! Teach me this stuff!" She thrust the book she has been clutching to her chest at him and Shippou really felt that he had no other choice but to teach her. After all, Rin was much taller than he was and dealt with Jaken on a daily bases. In the tiny, itty bitty, bottommost part of his heart he was a _bit_ afraid of her.

"Okay, okay, I'll teach you some of this stuff, but it's not as easy as it looks. All these characters might look something you've seen before but they don't mean what you think they do. "Shippou flipped through the brightly colored pages of the book tying to find an example of what he was talking about but Rin stopped him.

"What's that?" She pointed to a picture of a family watching television. Shippou sighed and tried to remember how Kagome had explained the picture.

"Okaa-chan said that it's called a television and that it's like a box that has a play inside of it…"He paused but hurried on when he noticed that Rin was opening her mouth to ask more questions, "but it's not magic so don't ask that." He went ahead and turned the page, trying to remember what he'd been looking for in the first place.

"What's that?" Rin stopped him again, pointing this time to a teenage girl on a cell-phone.

"That's the way future people communicate over large distances. It's like," he looked at her and wondered if his next words would go over her head, but decided to give it a try anyway, "It's like a pack call…but for humans in the future."

Rin nodded her head sagely, as if she understood exactly what he was talking about and Shippou suddenly wondered if she _did_ in fact understand. He wanted to ask just what Sesshomaru had been teaching her but Rin impatiently turned the page and pointed to something else before demanding an explanation for what it was.

He explained about cars, tall buildings, computers and lots of other things. When she asked about things he wasn't sure of he made things up. Both of them were so engrossed with what they were doing that they didn't hear Sesshomaru approaching until he was right on top of them. The youkai lord raised his eye-brow at how guilty they looked when they finally noticed his presence. He'd actually been standing there for quite awhile and he had a few questions he wanted to ask Rin when they got back to their camp.

"Come," he commanded and at her show of reluctance he offered a small reassurance, "We shall return tomorrow." This declaration had Rin bouncing up and away from Shippou but she turned around and hurriedly wrenched his book from his grasp.

"I'm going to borrow this, okay?" and then she was off again. Running right up to the Youkai lord and grasping his remaining hand. As Shippou watched them walk away he couldn't help but feel that he might have told Rin more than he should about his adopted mother.

-

The fire crackled and whispered mysteries to unhearing ears as the stars turned twinkling, blind, eyes toward earth. The moon rose with all the slowness of the very old crawling toward their last sunrise. Night insects, used to this slow creeping, paid it no mind as they went about making their music. This night was the exact mirror to thousands that had come before, and when the sun came up it would become just one more in a series of a million nights to come. This was eternity, an endlessness that was hard for a human mind to comprehend. Humans would come and go on the earth like vapor and even the loner lived youkai would eventually fade away, but this, this ceaseless rhythm of mystery, was the unbroken cycle of the everlasting.

But this infinite cycle went unnoticed by the two people huddle by the small fire outside of Kaede's hut. The nights were cool, but the couple had felt shut up inside the hut. Maybe the uneasy, closterphobic, feeling the enclosed hut gave them was due to all the nights they'd spent sleeping under the starts, or maybe the day was just too heavy for them to contemplate indoors.

"So, do you think they'll go off by themselves again?" Sango asked as she poked the fire with a twig she'd found in the grass. Miroku glanced up from where he'd been staring into the flickering brilliance of their small blaze and quirked a smile.

"Well, I can't see Inuyasha wanting to do…that particular act…anywhere near us." He fugitively looked around, to make sure that the hanyou was not within ear shot. He knew that Inuyasha and Kagome had gone off to talk, but he was not going to risk another concussion, "They'll probably leave tomorrow after Sesshomaru names his price. Why do you ask?"

Sango shifted uncomfortable and took so long to speak up that Miroku thought that she was going to ignore his question.

"It's just that we all spend more time apart than we spend together now. I don't like it." She shifted again and looked at him defiantly when she noticed that he'd put on his "monk" façade.

"Tell me Sano, when Nuraku is defeated what do you plan to do?" she looked at him oddly for the subject change, but he insisted that he was serious.

"I plan on rebuilding my village, of course. If…If Kohaku survives I'll take him with me." He didn't comment of her stumble. Her brother was a much deeper issue and the future was too much of an uncertain thing for him to get into it right now.

"Do you think that Inuyasha and Kagome will go with you too?" He watched her reaction and knew the moment that she understood where he was going with his line of questioning.

"But that's different! Right now we're trying to defeat Nuraku! We shouldn't be separating so much!"

"We need to collect all the shards before we can even challenge Naraku, and the fastest way to do that is to separate." Miroku watched the warring emotions clashing across her face and spoke again before she could organize a rebuttal, "This is how life works Sango. People cross and uncross paths constantly. A good-bye now is not necessarily a good-bye forever. Now is the time for us all to separate, but there will be a time when we all join back together. After our common enemy is destroyed we'll all go on with our lives but that doesn't mean that we think any less of each other. It doesn't mean that we will not need each other again. Friendship like what we share, bonds brought about by tragedy and blood, are not easily undone. For better or worse we have all become apart of each other. We have become family." He sat back and let her absorb his words for a moment before he started getting up. He glanced over at her and noticed that her hair was hiding her eyes before he turned and started into the hut and to bed. Right before he entered the doorway he heard her voice faintly.

"And what will you do Miroku?" He didn't have to ask what she was talking about.

"I'll go wherever you go." Miroku answered without turning around and then disappeared into the house. Sango was still sitting outside when Inuyasha and Kagome came in two hours later.

The fire and its mysteries had died out long before then.

-

End of part one

I want to apologize to everyone who had to wait a year for this chapter. I won't trot out tired excuses, just know that I have been busy with real life. I do indeed plan to finish this story, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the last part will not take a year this time.

There is so much emotion tied up in this fic for me. I started it just as I was starting college and it has been my constant companion for long commutes and sleepless nights. I am reluctant to part with it, but I will for you all.

In other news, I was invited to submit a story to a fiction anthology back in December, so I might have one of my short stories actually published in a book soon. I'm still waiting for the publishers to get back with me, but I'll let you all know when I do.

Next time on TWTHE…

Kikyou comes to say goodbye…

Kouga comes to say good luck…

Sesshomaru comes to make impossible demands…

Shippou has to admit that he has a big mouth

And Inuyasha and Kagome get ready to say hello to their future…

All this and more!

-

Kagome awoke to Inuyasha's cursing and the sight of a dusty whorl-wind headed toward their camp.

"Two shards." She said with trepidation, grabbing for the skirt that had been discarded beside her sleeping bag.

"It's coming fast." Inuyasha sighed in irritation as he belted his haori and reached for his discarded sword.

"Kouga." They both said in unison as the dust devil swirled out and left said youkai standing before them….

-


	19. Ode to the Dying Rose part Two

_Disclaimer: My ownership of Inuyasha has been disclaimed_

_AN: Well, four years to the day, I published the first chapter of this story. It has been a wild, long ride since then. I sincerely thank all those who have stuck with me from the beginning, and all those who have joined sometime along the journey. I also send out thanks to all those who will read this in the future. This story has come to mean more to me than it ever should have. It has a piece of my soul as surly as Kagome has a piece of Inuyasha's._

_I'd also like to thank all the many beta's that have worked on this story over the years. Julie started the work and __Archer __finished it up. _AidbiA was somewhere in the middle._ There were probably others and I feel terrible for not remembering everyone that helped make this story the success that it had become. I'm so sorry that I lost touch with all of you. Thank you for putting up with this unworthy one._

_And now…the story…_

**::RECAP::**

"_Rejoice Inuyasha! Soon you will be able to experience the pleasure that only a wom---Ouch!" Miroku spoke up from his place beside Kirara and Sango. Before he could blink or Sango could punch him, Inuyasha's fist had connected with one side of his head, and a rock from Sesshomaru had left its mark on the other. Sango lowered her raised hand to her side. The brothers had done a much better job than she could. For his part, Miroku felt the sudden need to sit down and wait for the dizziness to pass. _

_As for Inuyasha and Sesshomaru, they had both just realized that for possibly the first time in their lives they had acted in unity without being forced too. Sesshomaru abruptly decided to go collect Rin from the clutches of the fox brat, while Inuyasha could only stare at his hand and try not to whimper. _

"_This Sesshomaru will send Jaken tomorrow to collect your payment." Kagome tried to protest that she didn't even know what he wanted yet, but she was ignored._

"_Well…that was interesting." Sango spoke up for the first time as she kneeled down to check Miroku's pupils for signs of a concussion. Kagome was sure that it was the understatement of the century._

_-_

_He wanted to ask just what Sesshomaru had been teaching her but Rin impatiently turned the page and pointed to something else before demanding an explanation for what it was. _

_He explained about cars, tall buildings, computers and lots of other things. When she asked about things he wasn't sure of he made things up. Both of them were so engrossed with what they were doing that they didn't hear Sesshomaru approaching until he was right on top of them. The youkai lord raised his eye-brow at how guilty they looked when they finally noticed his presence. He'd actually been standing there for quite awhile and he had a few questions he wanted to ask Rin when they got back to their camp._

"_Come," he commanded and at her show of reluctance he offered a small reassurance, "We shall return tomorrow." This declaration had Rin bouncing up and away from Shippou but she turned around and hurriedly wrenched his book from his grasp._

"_I'm going to borrow this, okay?" and then she was off again. Running right up to the Youkai lord and grasping his remaining hand. As Shippou watched them walk away he couldn't help but feel that he might have told Rin more than he should about his adopted mother._

_-_

"_And what will you do Miroku?" He didn't have to ask what she was talking about._

"_I'll go wherever you go." Miroku answered without turning around and then disappeared into the house. Sango was still sitting outside when Inuyasha and Kagome came in two hours later. _

_The fire and its mysteries had died out long before then._

-

**::END RECAP::**

Chapter 18 part 2: Ode to a Dying Rose

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

-Aristotle

When she had been a small child, barely old enough to understand the concept of next week, let alone phrases like, _"When you grow up what do you want to be?"_, she had always said she wanted to be a ballerina astronaut who cured cancer. When she was a little older, and could understand, basically, that she was being asked to plot out her entire future, she had baulked at the implications that small, seemingly innocent, question carried. How was she supposed to know what she wanted to do? Wasn't she too young to decide things like that? What if she chose wrong?

Oh Kami-sama, what is she _chose wrong!?!_

But then she fell down a magical well and lost part of her soul and all of her heart in the process. Now Kagome wondered if maybe the reason she could never figure out what she wanted to do with her life, even when everyone around her was _so sure_, was because her future wasn't destined to be normal. She wouldn't grow up to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a housewife. No, her future was with _this man. _She would grow old with _this man._

Somehow, she liked these odds better.

Yet, it was never that simple with them. Ever. One would think that after sharing a hunk of soul for so long that this _thing_ between them would not be so hard. That upon finding out the solution to all their resent problems, they would just smoothly flow in to each others arms and let nature run it's course.

Yet, here they sat, up in a tree yet again, listening to the sound of night insects and looking at anything but each other. Even with the shared knowledge of what had almost happened the night before it was still awkward. As Kagome slanted a look at him from the corner of her eye she came to the realization that it would always be like this for them. They might share a little bit of soul, might love each other with a desperation that shocked even themselves, but knowing this didn't change who they were in their core.

It was their juxtapositions, their sharp edges, that drew them together.

She understood that they would eventually be comfortable about this new information but that day would probably not be today. Today, the reality of just how much this would change them, and their relationship, lay heavy on their minds. This would truly bind them together forever, with absolutely no hope of ever turning back. This wasn't a spell that went out of their control. This was their choice.

And they both realized what this choice would do to Kikyou. What little bit of soul that Kagome and Kikyou shared would cease to exists with this act. It was one thing to swear that he would choose Kagome over Kikyou, but it was another to know that his actions would snuff out what little bit of life she had left.

"We really have to talk about all of this, you know. Just because we know what the other is thinking isn't an excuse to just sit here stuck in our own heads." Kagome turned on the branch so that she was straddling it and facing Inuyasha. He shook his head as if to dislodge tenaciously clinging thoughts and looked over at her. He smiled reluctantly and reached out to push some stray hair behind her ear, but changed his mind when he felt it's softness. Instead he just held it between his figures and played with if for a moment while he gathered his scattered thoughts.

"Kinda kills the mood, doesn't it." He referred to what he had previously been thinking. Kagome didn't try to act like she didn't know what he was talking about. It wasn't worth the effort.

"Yeah, a little bit. But Inuyasha we should have seen this coming, you know? We knew that the spell was turning us into mates, so this should have been the logical conclusion." She smiled ruthfully over at him as she scooted closer. He returned her smile and reached over to pull her into his lap. He turned her so that her back rested against his chest, and then leaned back so he could rest against the trunk behind him. This was a familiar position for them, and they both took comfort from the _same-ness_ of it. Kagome sighed after a moment and snuggled in closer to him. Inuyasha in turn wrapped his arms even tighter around her and echoed her sigh.

"You know, this doesn't change anything, don't you? I realized, not too long ago, that none of this was my fault. I'm not happy about what's happening to her, Inuyasha, but I can't be sorry about it any more…" Kagome stiffened slightly as she said this, wondering how Inuyasha would react to her truthfulness.

"Feh, it took you long enough to come to that conclusion. I was beginning to think you were stupid or something." His words would have made her angry if he hadn't pressed a kiss to her brow afterwards, "I was serious when I told your mother that I loved you, and that I would choose you over her. I…I just need…" Dear kami-sama, he didn't even know _what_ he needed. Just that there was the small, but still painful, wound in his heart where Kikyou used to be, and although he was certain that he didn't love her anymore, and hadn't for a long time, _it was still there. _

"So, we're going to leave tomorrow, huh?" She asked, her voice sounding a little strained and a little tired, but accepting, "Right after Sesshomaru names his price? I hope Shippou is okay with staying behind because I don't think this is the kind of trip he belongs on." Inuyasha felt his ears give an involuntary twitch as he tried to figure out where Kagome thought they were going. His confusion rumbled deep in his chest like a growl, but different. Kagome laughed at him, but waited for him to ask his question out loud before answering it. This caused the confused sound in his chest to turn into a real growl. It annoyed him that she refused to respond to his wordless thoughts.

"I've told you before, Inuyasha, we have to actually _talk_ to one another." She poked the arm that was wrapped around her waist as she said this for good measure and Inuyasha nipped at her ear lightly in reproof. He decided to play along instead of sulking because this conversation could have gone so very badly, but it hadn't, and for that he was eternally grateful to whatever deity had made it all possibly.

Even the shitty things. At this point he was even thankful for those.

"Okay, Koishii, just where are we going and why aren't you going to insist on dragging the kit with us?" He could literally feel her smile in his very bones. It was slightly sad, but carried enough love and contentment to make up for that.

"We're going to find Kikyou so you can say goodbye," she didn't really pause long enough for him to balk at the idea, although she could feel that he was getting ready too, "You've never gotten to properly say anything to her, much less goodbye. You _need_ this, whether you admit it or not." To her the issue was closed for discussion, but Inuyasha wasn't so convinced.

"But Kagome, the well and Shippou---"

"No, Inuyasha, don't worry about that now. Everything else can wait for this. The jewel shards, Naraku, getting Shippou down the well and into my time, everything can wait. This is what you need, and I'm not worried anymore about who you'll choose," here she paused for a moment so that she could turn slightly and meet his eyes. She wanted him to understand that she was completely honest about this. Wanted him to see it in her eyes and feel it echoing through their shared connection. The truth that they had spent so much of their time, until recently, dancing around. "I know that you belong to me…and anyway, after you say goodbye you can finish what you started last night…" she left the sentence hanging as he began to growl for an entirely different reason.

He didn't argue the point with her any farther because he knew deep down that she was right. He'd never gotten to actually say goodbye to Kikyou at all. Closer had never existed for either of them, just a fifty year time skip between bad situations. Maybe the act of letting go would finally heal the ripe in the bottom of his heart. At this thought Kagome shifted a little in his lap and placed a kiss to the side of his mouth. He smirked down at her as if to ask if that was the best that she could do and then picked her up and spun her around so that her back was no longer to his chest. Inuyasha then proceeded to show her what a proper kiss felt like.

It was late when then they finally made their way back to Kaede's hut. Kagome helped Sango up from her place by the fire, and both young women stumbled inside to find their sleeping spots. Inuyasha stayed outside to sleep on the roof.

It was just better for his resolve that way.

-

Kagome would have loved to say that she woke up thinking that _this _was the first day of the rest of her life, but she didn't. Instead she woke up thinking about how much she'd missed snuggling up to Inuyasha last night, and how, even though she hadn't slept out on the roof last night, her bones felt like they had. Her next few thoughts were a muddle of cursing the spell and a whole lot of other things. Shippou landing in the middle of her chest interrupted her grumblings and catapulted her firmly into wakefulness. She reached for him automatically, needing to stop his bouncing on her spleen.

'_Thanks Inuyasha. This is __**just**__ how I wanted to wake up.'_

'_Feh, just think about it as payback for all those "sits" you inflicted on me.'_

"You have to get up now because everyone is waiting for you to get up so that we can have breakfast." He bounced a little in her hold as if to drive home the urgency that was meal time, "Kaede-bachan says that we can't eat with out you because this will be the last family meal for a while. Inuyasha says that that's a stupid thing to say but I think that Sango might have cried a little when Kaede-bachan said it…." Kagome had sat up fully while he was rattling on and she noticed that there was a certain stiffness in the way he was holding his body and she wondered what was going on in his head. She also noticed that he wasn't looking her in the eye either and wondered if he was feeling guilty about some prank that he was thinking of pulling or if he was upset with her for deciding to leave him behind.

One of her questions was answered when Shippou stopped for a quick breath before continuing on with what he had been saying and Kagome felt badly about having tuned him out the moment before, "I just wanted to tell you not to worry about me. I know that you and Inuyasha will come back for me and that we'll always be a family, so don't worry that I'll be sad, okay?" He patted her cheeks with his little hands and kissed her on the cheek. Kagome couldn't help but pull him closer and burry her face in his hair. He squirmed a little but otherwise let her hug him close.

Just for saying that Shippou was automatically forgiven for any mischief that he might be planning.

Kagome wondered absently just what she'd done in her former life to deserve all the good things she'd been given in this one. A flash of Kikyou's sad smile appeared in her mind's eye for just a second before it was gone. She squeezed Shippou for just a moment more before letting him go. The small kitsune was up off her lap in a flash and heading out of the room, still talking a mile a minute, this time about his future brothers and sisters and what he was going to teach them. All of the awkward stiffness that she had attributed to guilt when he'd first pounced on her was gone and Kagome wondered absently if she'd imagined it all. Somewhere in the other room Shippou was loudly naming the twenty brothers and sisters he was going to have and Kagome sighed, knowing exactly who had put that thought into his head. She decided right then and there to let Inuyasha teach Miroku's future children all the swear words he wanted. And she didn't care at this point how mad Sango would be about that.

Inuyasha stepped into the room a few minutes later, just as she was pulling on a clean shirt, looking harassed and a little stiff. She smiled at him and walked into his open arms.

"I'm going to kill the monk for putting that idea into his head." He growled into her ear as he pulled her close. Kagome just laughed, knowing that he wouldn't.

"I missed you." She whispered right before he claimed her lips in a slow kiss.

"Hmm…I missed you too." He gave her another quick peck then turned her toward the door, "Everyone's waiting on you in there, and if you don't hurry Miroku will answer Shippou's "Where do baby's come from" question." Kagome didn't have to be told twice to get a move on.

The main room of Kaede's hut was warm from the breakfast fire and filled with all sorts of interesting smells that Kagome had never been exposed to in the future. She realized suddenly just how much this time had become a part of her, and she was glad she'd decided to stay here. Inuyasha squeezed her hand at that thought but didn't say anything as he moved by her to sit beside Sango, who had a sleepy looking Kirara in her lap. Kagome noticed that Miroku had Shippou in his lap, whispering suspiciously into his ear. Kagome quickly walked over a lifted the boy in her arms, while Miroku tried to look as innocent as possible. Before an argument could start up, Kaede cleared her throat and motioned for Kagome to sit down.

"It's been awhile since we all ate together and since most of the people in the village pay me for my services as their priestess with food…"Kaede just spread her hands as the finish of her sentence, and they all laughed. Kagome noticed that Sango was being more quiet than normal, but didn't say anything as she sat down on the girl's other side. If Sango wanted to talk about what was going through her head, she would, and Kagome would be ready to listen when the time came.

"So, I guess that after Sesshomaru comes you two will be gone for a few days?" Miroku asked slyly as he dished up some of the rice Kaede had fixed. He passed the filled bowl to Sango with a wink and the girl blushed, but took the food.

"Yeah well, while we're gone don't think you can just sit on your ass, Monk. I need you and Sango to go off after the next shard rumor." Inuyasha took the bowl that Kagome gave him and didn't even wait for chopsticks before he started shoving bits of fish and rice into his mouth.

"No, I think that Sango and I will be staying here until you get back." Miroku ate his first bit of breakfast much slower, actually taking the time to chew. There was something about the way he did it though, that told Kagome that the deliberate movement of his jaw had little to do with food.

"Do I have to explain to you—"

"How important it is for us to find the shards before Naraku? No, Inuyasha, you don't. But Sango and I are tired. We've been going out constantly since all of this began, to take up your slack, and we're tired." He continued in a softer tone, before Inuyasha could start cursing him, or worse, for his words. "I understand that you've been doing what you had to do to keep Kagome safe. Let me do the same for Sango by letting her rest."

"Feh" this was, of course, Inuyasha's patent response when he couldn't find a reasonable argument, and Miroku took it as the consent it was. He leaned over Kagome so that he could catch Sango's attention.

"So what do you want to do for our vacation, dear Sango?" he waggled his eyebrows up and down in a suggestive fashion, and got hit in the forehead with a clump of rice for his trouble. Everyone laughed at the expression on his face, and the tension in the room broke. Soon they were all talking as if they had never been separated from each other, filling the small hut with laughter and friendly banter. Kaede smiled secretly to herself as all the noisy washed over her. She would be lonely when they all left her home to go out a fight again, but for now she would savor this feeling of having a house full of family.

-

Sango and Kagome had just finished washing the last of the breakfast dishes in the big clay basin that Kaede kept outside for such tasks when Inuyasha raised his head and sniffed the air. He dropped out of the tree next to the hut and turned toward his forest.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, even though she knew what his actions meant.

"He's here, but he's not coming any closer to the village. We have to go out there to meet him. Stupid arrogant bastard always trying to make me fucking come to him."

"We're coming with you." Sango's statement left no room for argument as she grabbed Hiraikotsu from it's resting place against the side of the hut. Kirara mewed her agreement as Miroku just smiled and shifted his staff a little so that the rings jingled.

"You do all know that we're not going to war, right?" Kagome asked as she eyed the militant grins on their faces. She was a little worried that all the bottled frustrations from the last few months were about to explode all over the forest outside of the village and she wasn't sure that she would be powerful enough to stop the impeding doom.

"Yeah, but if he asks for something you both aren't willing to pay, we'll be ready." Sango answered. Kagome couldn't think of a good argument against that reasoning so she didn't say anything, just went over to where Shippou was playing in the dirt with his new toy car and Mame-chan and picked him up. She just knew that this meeting was going to be bloody and she wanted to be able to know where her adopted son was at all times in the midst of the chaos.

'_It's not going to be that bad, wench. Stop over exaggerating.'_

"Lead the way" she motioned to Inuyasha, ignoring the snickers she was hearing in her head. "The sooner we go the sooner we can get back."

Shippou stayed quiet in her arms the whole way into the forest, and Kagome began to wonder if maybe he really had been acting oddly this morning. He normally talked a mile a minute about whatever popped into his head even when the group was walking into the jaws of certain death. This new quietness was beginning to worry her.

"Are you okay, Shippou-chan?" She asked him softly, so that no one else would hear. The kit looked up at her with guilty eyes and just shook his head. Now that she thought about it, he'd been quiet during breakfast too. She stopped walking and boosted him up in her arms so that they would be eye to eye. She wondered what would be so bad as to cause him this much guilt and mentally she was kicking herself for not noticing his distress until now.

"Come on, you can tell me." She cajoled, worried a little at the tears in the corners of his eyes. "It can't be that bad." She watched the build up of emotion on his face and in the back of her mind noted that the others in their party had stopped too. The emotion came to a head as tears and sobs burst out of him in a violent volcano of distress.

"Yes it can! I accidentally told Rin everything!" He wailed, sniffing a bit at the end. Kagome felt dread well up inside her at his words. The implications of his words were astounding. She felt the color drain from her face as her legs shook a bit. Maybe, she disparately grabbed at the few straws she had left available to her, maybe he doesn't mean _everything_.

"What do you mean, everything?" Hoping against hope that Shippou was over exaggerating the circumstance in his overwrought condition. She was so focused on the sobbing child in her arms that she missed the sudden tenseness that filled the air as the others in their group tightened their grips on their weapons.

"He means everything, miko, unless you have bigger secrets beyond where, or should this Sesshomaru say when, you are from." He'd stepped out of the forest not ten foot from her, carrying Rin in his single arm as if to show all those in attendance that he came in relative peace.

"What do you want?" Kagome asked, trying to keep her voice steady in order to hide the panic welling up in her chest. What could the youkai-lord possibly do with the information he possessed? Would he want to go to the future? What would he do to her friends when he figured out that she didn't know how to make the well open up?

What if---

'_Just fucking calm down! Take a deep breath and just listen to what he has to say. Damn it, you're supposed to be the rational one in this relationship, not me!' _

Inuyasha's voice inside her head brought Kagome back from the edge of the panic filled abyss that she had been standing on. She took a deep breath like he'd ordered her to and then realized that she must have been hurting Shippou with the tight grip she'd had on him. Kagome slowly relaxed her grip and looked down at the still crying boy in her arms. He had obviously caught onto her distressed because he was in a huddle in her arms repeating "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." over and over again. Kagome felt her own tears prick her eyes as she began to try to comfort him.

"It's okay baby. I'm not mad. Inuyasha and I will take care of this, I promise." She continued to shush and sooth him, choosing to ignore the waves of disgust pouring off the youkai-lord standing just a few steps away from her. After a few minutes Shippou was calm enough for Kagome to turn her attention back to the group. She was a little surprised that no one had moved even an inch since she'd turned her attention to the child in her arms.

"If this…display…is finished we can begin negotiations. I weary of being in such close proximity to humans." Sesshomaru gently sat Rin onto the ground, and for the first time Kagome realized that the little girl was clutching one of Shippou's school books to her chest. The youkai-lord whispered something in her ear and the little girl nodded before making her way over to Kagome. She tugged on the tail of Kagome's shirt while looking up at her.

"Can Shippou come and play with me, please?" Rin asked in her most polite voice, just as Sesshomaru-sama had instructed her to. Shippou squirmed in Kagome's hold and she automatically put him down. Rin solemnly held out her hand for the still hiccupping boy to take before leading him off into the forest a little ways. She didn't exactly know why all of the adults were so upset, but she did know that somehow she'd caused Shippou's distress and she felt bad. He was the only person close to her own age that she had any contact with and the thought of losing him as a friend made her sad.

After the children had moved far enough away as to not be a distraction, Sesshomaru motioned for the group to sit down. For the first time, Kagome realized that they were in the little clearing beside the river that she and her friends had visited for a swim not too long ago. It seems like forever ago, but in reality it had only been a matter of weeks. None of them were too interested in sitting down, but Kagome knew that if someone didn't make the first move, they'd all be here for hours just staring at each other so she made the first move. Inuyasha reluctantly followed her over to the rock she's chosen to perch on, but did not sit. Instead he stood behind her with his hands firmly planted on her shoulders. Miroku and Sango also made themselves as comfortable as was possible on neighboring rocks and they all turned to stare expectantly at Sesshomaru. For his part the youkai-lord was trying to keep his vast amusement with the situation off his face. It was surprisingly hard to do with them all focusing on him with different degrees of dread showing clearly on their faces. Well, except for Inuyasha, his face was in the same murderous set it was always in whenever Sesshomaru came to call.

Ah family.

"What do you want?" Kagome repeated her earlier question, and since she appeared, after her initial burst of panic that is, to be the more reasonable of the two he had come to talk too, he chose to answer her question.

"Information." But of course he knew that a simple answer wouldn't work on her. He just wanted to see how long it would take her to catch on.

"Information about what?" The way she stiffened ever so slightly told him that she knew exactly what information he wanted, but was going to make him spell it out. For a moment Sesshomaru considered drawing out the game a little more, but decided that it wasn't worth his time.

"I want information about the future, miko. Rin showed me the book that you've been using to teach the kitsune about your world. I want the knowledge that will help me survive." There, that should be plainly put enough for even Inuyasha to understand. And by the way the hanyou reacted, Sesshomaru was quite sure that his meaning had sunk in.

"There is no fucking way! Kagome would never fucking give---"

"Save your profanities, Inuyasha. I was speaking to your mate. Miko, it is fair trade don't you think? I gave you information key to your survival, and now you owe me something just as valuable." He could see that she was thinking hard about what he had said, so he remained silent. Inuyasha, on the other hand, had begun to growl, Sesshomaru found this easy to ignore.

Kagome, for her part, was thinking about the Japanese history book that she'd carelessly forgotten in Kaede's hut the last time she'd packed her stuff for a trip to the future. She could see it so clearly laying half under a pile of discarded clothes in her corner of the sleeping room, harmlessly waiting for this moment, so that it's very presence could come back to bite her in the ass.

'_Your not really thinking about giving it to him are you? Kagome, information like that isn't safe in this bastard's hands! Knowing him, he'll change things just for kicks.'_

'_Inuyasha, your brother isn't Naraku. Plus, even if he's the most literate person in this time, he won't be able to read what's written in my book. I think…'_

'_You think?!? A minute ago you were panicking! Now you want to trust the future of the world into the hands of a human-hating sadist!'_

'_I only panicked because I thought he was going to ask to be taken to the future and you know it. Plus, I don't think he hates humans as much as he says…he takes care of Rin, doesn't he? This is a pretty harmless request. The book I have with me doesn't cover everything in history either, and doesn't even really talk about foreign countries---'_

"If you both are finished conversing in you heads, I would like to be on my way sometime within the next few thousand years." Sesshomaru's dead pan voice brought Inuyasha and Kagome out of their discussion. Kagome felt Inuyasha give her shoulders a squeeze that she interrupted as consent for what she was about to do even if he wasn't happy about it.

"I do have a book that tells about the future of Japan, but before I give it to you, you have to give me your word that you will not try to change what happens. There are some nasty things in the future, but you can't change any of it. Do you understand?" Kagome did her best to pin him down with her eyes, but she got the feeling that however effective this look was on Inuyasha, his brother was immune.

"I could care less about what horrible things you humans dream up to do to each other. I only care about myself and what is mine." Sesshomaru ignored the look she was giving him. As if he would be cowed by a weak human. The very though was insane.

"Your word." Kagome insisted that he say the actual words, instead of just implying his intent to follow them.

"This Sesshomaru gives you his word that he will not interfere with the future of humanity. I will only use the knowledge that you are giving over to me to protect myself and my interest. I will, furthermore, guard said knowledge with my life so that it does not fall into disreputable hands." He raised his eyebrow at the end of his vow as if to ask if she was happy now and Kagome nodded.

"Well, now that that has been taken care of I will take my leave. Send Rin out of the village with the book and I will find her. Inuyasha, remember what I said about your first born child. I will not make this journey because of your incompetence again." Without a backward glance Sesshomaru turned and started off into the woods, going in a direction that would let him circumvent the village without being seen. Kagome waited until he was almost out of ear shot before she called out to him one last time.

"I forgot to mention that you won't be able to read the book, didn't I?" The sound of the youkai-lord stumbling somewhere off in the forest was worth every bit of panic that she'd felt earlier.

-

It was just past noon when they finally managed to send Rin off with the thick book from Kagome tied securely on her back in a makeshift bundle. The book only really covered the last 200 years of Japanese history, but Kagome felt that it would be enough to satisfy Sesshomaru. She had more pressing things to worry about right now than whether Sesshomaru would be satisfied with their bargain for not.

Beggars can't be choosers after all.

Right now she was quickly repacking her sturdy yellow bag with the things she and Inuyasha would need on their hunt for Kikyou while the others prepared lunch in the main room.

'_A few changes of clothes, my sleeping bag—'_

'_You won't need it'_

'_A flashlight, some soap, toothbrush—'_

'_Don't forget the ramen!'_

'_Some bandages…who am I kidding, we'll probably need the whole first aid kit—'_

'_No we won't. Just pack ramen.'_

'_I am not just packing ramen! And I'm packing my sleeping bag! So there!' _If Kagome could mentally stick her tongue out she would have.

'_Fine, fine do what you want, but I'm not carrying it for you this time. If you fill it full of heavy shit then you have to tout it.'_

She could tell by the smugness of his mental tone that he thought he'd won. Kagome was content with letting him think that too. She continued to pack her bag with all the things that she thought they would need, because she knew that he would carry her bag for her eventually when he got tired of how slow she was walking. She gave him twenty minutes tops after the trip started before his impatient won out.

Just as she was shoving the last bit of necessity into her bag and strapping it closed the door covering drew back and Sango came into sight carefully balancing two bowls of miso soup and some rice left over from the morning. Kagome hurried over to help her with her burden and Sango smiled in thanks. The girls took their seat among the toys, discarded items from Kagome's bag, and halfheartedly rolled up bedding, and felt quite at home among the chaos. Kagome felt that Sango might finally be ready to talk about what had been bothering her for the last few days, so she quietly ate her meal and waited.

"Have you ever thought about the future…I mean what will happen to all of us if we survive Naraku?" Sango asked as she gazed intently into her soup. Kagome was caught off guard by the question and had to think a bit before answering. She thought about how she's always dreaded questions about the future, but realized that for the first time in her life she could actually answer Sango's question with the truth.

"Well, before all…this…happened, I thought that once Naraku was defeated I would have to go back home forever. I never let myself consider that the well would stay open after my purpose was served. I thought I'd have to dig around in some dusty old library, praying for any scrap of written record I could fine, in order to find out what happened to all of you after I left. Now…now everything is different and I know that I'll never be cut off from the people I love. But because there have been so many things going on lately I haven't been able to think about any thing farter off then tomorrow." Kagome looked up from her rice and noticed that she had Sango's undivided attention. She shifted, a little uncomfortable with the close observation but pressed on with what she was saying, sensing that Sango needed to hear what she had to say.

"I…I want this." She indicated the messy room with a sweeping motion of her chopsticks.

"A messy room?" Sango asked. She was a little confused about Kagome's meaning.

"Yes…well, maybe not quite this messy. What I mean is, after Naraku is gone and we've all healed up, I want a house like this one, filled with chaos and mess and friendship. I want my children to play with your children. I want all that is good and happy in my life to continue being good and happy."

"But, you know that I can't stay here. I've got to go back to my village and rebuild it. You and Inuyasha will have to stay by the well. What if…What if after Naraku dies we all go our separate ways and never see each other again?" Sango's voice had a desperate edge, and Kagome thought that they had finally arrived at the heart of her friend's distress. She realized that to Sango, who had already had one family wrench away from her, the thought of separating from this makeshift one was agonizing. Kagome searched for the right words, but couldn't seem to find them. Everything she thought up sounded trite and fake and full of forced cheer, so she did the only thing that she could think of. She put her now cold soup down beside her and reached out for the other girl. Sango let herself be hugged although she didn't much participate in the gesture. She just slumped into Kagome and tried not to cry.

"I don't know the future, Sango and I can't tell you what you really want to hear, that nothing will change, and that no matter what happens after Naraku we'll all just stay as we are now. But what I can tell you is that the family bond between us now will never go away. You will always be my sister, not because of blood, and not because we've gone threw so much together, but because I _choose_ it. No matter what happens, or where we both end up building our homes, we will always be there for each other." By now both girls were crying and Sango was no longer limp in Kagome's arms. It was as if she thought that if she relaxed her hold on the other girl for even a moment that Kagome would disappear.

"I…I was just so…s-so scared that e-everyone would leave me." It was all that Sango could manage to choke out and Kagome waited for her to continue, loosing her grip a bit so that Sango could sit back a little.

"Miroku told me almost the same thing that you just did, but I had to hear it from you. If…something h-happens and K-Kohaku doesn't m-m-make it you all will be the only family I have. I can't bear to loose everyone I care about again." Kagome shifted around on the messy floor until she found the small bag of tissue that she had discarded from her bag. She tore open the plastic and pulled out a few for herself and then passed the bag to Sango. They sat in companionable silence for a while, with only the occasional sniff to mark the passing of time before Kagome started to get up and reach for her packed bag. Sango looked at her questioningly and Kagome ruthfully smiled.

"Inuyasha says that if we're through crying he'd like to get going."

"Oh. Did he say it that nicely?"

"Well no, but that's how he meant it. I just had to interrupt the swear words right." They both shared a laugh at this and Sango went over to help Kagome carry her things outside. At the door, though, Kagome paused. She looked over at Sango with a serious expression in her eyes and asked a question that she'd been wanting too throughout the entire conversation.

"Do you really want to rebuild your old village, or are you only planning to because you feel obligated to the memory of your father? " At Sango's startled expression, Kagome assumed that the other girl had never thought about it that way.

"Just think about it okay? Sometimes it's okay to just say goodbye, you know?" Kagome gave Sango one last quick hug and then went out the door lugging her very full yellow bag. Needless to say, Sango had a lot to think about.

-

It was on the morning of their second day of traveling that Inuyasha spotted the lone soul-stealer circling in the distance. At almost the same moment Kagome felt a sharp pain in her chest, but gritted her teeth against it. Yet even as she took another step she knew it wasn't going to be possible for her to continue on. Her knees shook to the point of buckling and she had to grab the back of Inuyasha's haori to keep herself up right. He finally tore his eyes away from the circling youkai and glanced down at her. He became aware of her pain at that moment and hated himself for not noticing sooner.

"Shit Kagome! What's—"

"It's being this close to her. It wasn't this bad last time…but I guess it's gotten-,"she had to stop for a deep breath in order to fight down the pain induced nausea, "-worse with t-t-time. Just go on. I'm going to m-move back a few feet to see if that helps." She began to crawl back a little but was suddenly scooped up in Inuyasha's arms. In a few leaps she felt the pain let up and she told him to put her down.

"But you're still in pain. I'm going to take you as far away as I have to." but he did stop and looked uncertain when Kagome placed her hand on his cheek.

"You have to leave me here, Inuyasha. If you take me father away, then we'll have this same problem because Kikyou will be out of the range of our bound. I'll be okay." And she meant it. And he knew that she meant it. That she was giving him the opportunity t say goodbye to his old love even though it was hurting her in more than one way, that she was just that sure about their relationship. He didn't have time at the moment to think about how far they'd come or how far they would eventually go. He just looked deep into her eyes, then kissed her roughly, pouring all his thankfulness and love and guilt and sadness into it.

Then he was gone.

And all Kagome could do was press her fingers to her swollen lips and hope.

-

The wind was carrying little bits of her away. Something about that just seemed poetic. It was as if she had been cremated while she was still conscious and left awake while her ashes were being scattered to the fore winds. For a moment each tiny grain that flew away was an extension of her consciousness and she was flying with it away from her dilapidated body, then, in the blink of an eye the connection she had with the grain was over, and she was grounded again. Kikyou laughed at her own foolishness, only to have her laughter turn into dry hacking. She could feel more and more of her insides crumbling as she shook and knew that she didn't have much time left. She had sent her last faithful follower away this morning, in the hope that it would find Inuyasha before her time was completely up. She did not even let herself consider the possibility that he wouldn't come.

She knew that he wouldn't be coming to save her, for she was weeks, possibly years, past saving. But she needed to say goodbye.

The sharp pain that filled her chest and stopped her breathing was a welcome relief. Kagome was near by and where Kagome was Inuyasha was sure to follow. It wouldn't be too late, not this time. They wouldn't miss this chance. It would be okay, it would be peaceful this time…

Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that her thought process was degrading. That she should be angrier about what was happening to her. About the unfairness of dying twice…but she just didn't have the energy for that any more. It was all she could do to just keep herself held together as it was.

"Kikyou?" It was his voice and she wondered how he could have gotten this close without her hearing him. All she could see of him from where he stood was a blur of red and silver and she motioned for him to come closer.

"Inu-Inu…ya" coughing racked her body and she realized with a hint of sadness and irony that she had lost the ability to talk and just when she had so much she desperately wanted to say too. Inuyasha came closer to her and his features sharpened. She could see the helplessness and pain in his eyes and tried to imagine what she must look like to him. One of her arms was gone, and she knew that her chest had collapsed inward during one of her coughing fits. He hovered over her, as if afraid to touch her, Kikyou wished he would, because she knew that even the slightest pressure of his hand would send her…on.

"I'm so sorry Kikyou. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She wondered if that was the only thing he was going to say. Of all the things that she wanted to hear right now, this was not it.

"Not…sor…ry!" She managed to push out past the clogging grit and the desire to just give in to the pulling sensation.

"Don't talk now, please! Just stay still and I'll…" But he didn't know how to finish that sentence and she knew it too. She wanted to tell him that life was full of choices and no one could have it both ways. You lived or you didn't. You loved someone or you didn't. It was all quite clear to her now.

"Lov…d…" She had so much to tell him, why did it have to be this way? She would've cried if she'd had the moisture left in her body.

"I loved you too. I really did." There were tears in his eyes although none on his cheeks but she could still see them glittering there at the corners. She tried to smile to let him know that everything was going to be okay, and that she understood, but her face broke a little and she had to stop.

"K..ss…g…d…by…e" She didn't know if that had even come out coherently, but she knew that she didn't have time anymore. There was no time to say all the things she wanted to say, no time for anything anymore but this last request. Inuyasha must have understood because he took a deep breath and leaned in. She could see that he was shaking badly, but she didn't care. Those tears that had threatened to fall where cascading, but she didn't care. All she was waiting for was…

pressure on her lips…

moisture on her crumbling cheek…

And she let go. For a moment she was everywhere and Inuyasha was breathing some of her in…

Kikyou was no more.

-

Kagome felt it when it happened. Felt the build up in her chest and then the release. Felt an incredible sadness mingled with guilt and acceptance coming from Inuyasha and knew that he was going to be okay. On shaking limbs she stood up and began to sit up camp. This spot was as good as any, and she just didn't think that Inuyasha would be up for any more traveling today. On autopilot she began to set out the things that they would need. Ramen for Inuyasha, her sleeping bag, the canteen for water…would they need a large fire or a small one? She tried her best to keep her mind away from what he was thinking. She wanted him to have the privacy to deal with this in his own way.

Was just the tiniest bit afraid of what all of this might mean for them. Was afraid that he would withdraw from her in his grief. Was afraid that he would decide to blame her.

She looked up as he came trudging into the clearing and her heart sank. His shoulders were slumped in defeat and his feet drug in the dust, hardly lifting up enough to allow him to walk. She must have dropped whatever she had in her hand, because there was a soft 'thump' on the ground and his head shot up. Their eyes met in that instant and she felt something change between them. His eyes lit up and slowly, ever so slowly, his shoulders came back up. Between one blink and the next he was beside her and she was in his arms and nothing mattered but that.

Nothing existed out side of the kisses and the whispers and the relief and the guilt.

Kagome tried to put as much comfort as she could into her touches, tried to reassure him that none of this was his fault, tried to make him understand that she loved him more than anything in this world or the next. And slowly, softly, the touches changed into something more. Something lasting. Something real. Inuyasha's kisses left her lips and went into almost unexplored territory. The moan that escaped her throat surprised even herself, but she didn't have time to think about it as more and more feelings overwhelmed her. The feeling of his lips on her breast, of his teeth scraping against the bend of her knee, of his claws pricking the tender flesh of her back. And then they were joined in a way that was inescapable. Inside each other, barely existing outside of the other.

Kagome didn't think about the fact that her first time was out in the open air on the hard ground. Or that it was uncomfortable and awkward at times and over a little too soon. All she cared about was that this was real. This was real and she was finally complete.

Afterwards, as they lay in a pile of tangled limbs and afterglow she smiled against his chest and placed a soft kiss there.

"Hmmm…I really didn't plan for that to happen here of all places. Sorry." His voice was rough from their previous activities, and it made Kagome smile.

"No, it was good. Memorable even. Something to embarrass our children with later." She laughed a little at the growl that rumbled up in his chest, and then had to catch her breath at the sensations that rumbling was creating for her. Her nipples tightened and she squirmed around a bit, only to realize that they were still joined together at the center. Her eyes met his and the fire smoldering in them was almost enough to burn her to a crisp. The kiss that they shared this time was completely different from the kisses they had shared previously. It was slow and hot and indolent and every nerve ending that she had was standing on end. And after that she didn't have any coherent thoughts to spare…

-

Kagome awoke to the predawn air chilling her naked flesh and Inuyasha cursing loudly somewhere off to her left. The sight of a dusty whorl-wind headed toward their camp answered her question before she could even ask it. With frantic movements she searched for her discarded clothes from the night before, wishing that they have been more careful in their haste to get naked. She found her shirt near her bag and pulled it clumsily over her head.

"Two shards." She said with trepidation, grabbing for the skirt that had been discarded beside her sleeping bag. Inuyasha tossed her the pair of underwear she had been wearing yesterday, and she couldn't help the blush that crept up her neck.

"It's coming fast." Inuyasha sighed in irritation as he belted his haori and reached for his discarded sword. This is not how he wanted to wake up this morning. Well, actually this was not how he wanted to wake up any morning.

"Kouga." They both said in unison as the dust devil swirled out and left said youkai standing before them. Kouga, for his part, didn't need his nose to tell him what had happened here last night. Inuyasha's hair was disheveled and tangled more than was usual for him and Kagome had a set of interesting bruises along the side of her neck. He sneered at the thought that Inuyasha had taken Kagome out in the open like a common animal. It angered him so much that for a moment he forgot the reason that he'd come this way looking for them.

"You son of a bitch! You fucking son of a bitch!" And then he launched himself at Inuyasha with every intention of ripping off his head. Inuyasha didn't even have time to pull his sword before Kouga was on him. He let the wolf-youkai pull them both to the ground, and then used Kouga's forward momentum to send him flying. With a roll Inuyasha was up and over to Kouga, trying his best to pin the wolf down.

"Listen you ass, every time you fucking hurt me, you're hurting her!" He screamed directly into the struggling youkai's face in order to get his attention. Kouga went quite limp at this revelation, but his eyes still promised a world of pain to Inuyasha.

"I thought you were going to get that fixed…wait, is she still blind?" He craned his neck to catch a glimpse of the girl in question and Inuyasha let up on his hold just a little. He knew that Kouga wouldn't be so eager to get touchy with Kagome now that they were completely bounded. Instinct was a powerful thing in full blooded youkai.

"I got my sight back some time ago Kouga." Kagome answered him softly from where she stood. Kouga pushed Inuyasha off of him, but made no move to get off of the ground after he had sat up. He looked so sad that for a moment Kagome felt sorry for him.

"So you've really chosen this mutt then?" He pointed over at Inuyasha, completely ignoring the growl coming from the hanyou.

"Yes." She answered his question so simply, so surly, that he had no other choice but to give up right then and there. Kouga stood up and brushed himself off. He was careful not to meet their eyes.

"Well then, I went looking for you at that village you like to stay at. The monk told me that you had gone this way a few days ago. I…we found out where Naraku has been hiding out and I wanted to let you know about it as I headed that way." and then he added, just in case they got the wrong idea, "It's not like I need any help killing him, I just know that more people than just me have a bone to pick with him."

"Give us four days and we'll join you." That was all Inuyasha said, and apparently, that was all the reassurance that Kouga needed. With just one lingering look at Kagome from over his shoulder he was off again. It only took a moment for him to be just a dust devil in the distance.

Kagome came to stand beside Inuyasha and slipped her hand into his. They faced the rising sun together in silence, waiting for the new day to truly be born. Kagome couldn't help but feel as if they were headed toward the next phase of their lives, as if last night had been the end of a chapter, and that with the sun a new one was beginning. The fight with Naraku loomed ahead of them like a dark cloud, and she worried in the back of her mind that she wouldn't have enough time to figure out how to get Shippou safely to her time. There were still a few shards at large and she knew they would need every one of them if they were going to have a hope of winning. Yet, even with all these worries hovering so ominously above their heads, she couldn't help but feel happy and hopeful. Together they could do this. Together they could defeat Naraku and live their lives to the fullest.

"Let's go home Inuyasha" she tightened her grip on his hand, "We don't have much time."

And so they went forward to face their tomorrows.

-

THE END

-

Author's Note: Well that's over. Finally over. Four years of my life, and now I'm a little sad…

When I started this story…so many years ago…I only had two ideas in my head. I wanted to take all the clichés from the fandom and try to make a good fic out of them…and I wanted Kagome to be blind and have to depend on Inuyasha…

The only scenes in my head were one of the kissing scenes (the one where blood is involved) and the scene where Kikyou dies. This whole fic grew out of these ideas.

My writing style has changed so much…and at times the classes I was taking in college really influenced the chapters I produced….I'm surprised myself that this story has any flow at all…

Yet, here at the end of it all, I can say that I am happy with the result. I have tried my best and am proud.

I don't think that I'm going to write any more long fics…I think I'm ready to tackle my own characters and worlds now. If I ever get published I'll let you all know…

This is not to say that I'll disappear completely…One shots and short fics are things of beauty…


	20. Epilogue: All Our Tomorrows belong to us

_Disclaimer: My ownership of Inuyasha has been disclaimed_

_AN: Well, four years to the day, I published the first chapter of this story. It has been a wild, long ride since then. I sincerely thank all those who have stuck with me from the beginning, and all those who have joined sometime along the journey. I also send out thanks to all those who will read this in the future. This story has come to mean more to me than it ever should have. It has a piece of my soul as surly as Kagome has a piece of Inuyasha's._

_I'd also like to thank all the many beta's that have worked on this story over the years. Julie started the work and __Archer __finished it up. _AidbiA was somewhere in the middle._ There were probably others and I feel terrible for not remembering everyone that helped make this story the success that it had become. I'm so sorry that I lost touch with all of you. Thank you for putting up with this unworthy one._

_And now…the story…_

**::RECAP::**

"_Let's go home Inuyasha" she tightened her grip on his hand, "We don't have much time." _

_And so they went forward to face their tomorrows. _

**::END RECAP::**

Epilogue: All Our Tomorrows belong to us

**Tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito**

_Yield not to misfortunes, but advance all the more boldly against them_

The breeze was pleasant. It carried the fragrance of a multitude of vibrant flowers as it softly caressed her face and she couldn't help but smile at the soothing sensation. She lay on her back surrounded by nothing but the warm grass and the sky; watching the lazy clouds drift by high above her. She was more than happy, she was content, satisfied with everything around her. She had a husband that she loved with all her soul, and two amazing children, with another little one on the way, indeed, what more could she possibly want?

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy's being mean to big brother again! He's teasing him about cousin Rin!" Kagome sat up with a little difficulty and caught her son into her arms as he came bounding up to her. She ruffled the long black hair that his father refused to let her cut and tweaked one of his slightly pointed human ears. While pregnant with him, she's hoped that he'd have dog ears like Inuyasha, but being only a quarter youkai he was born looking mostly human. His big eyes gleamed their funny blue-grey-purple color in the sunlight, and when he grinned an almost sharp fang stuck out from between his lips.

"And you didn't help Daddy tease Shippou-chan at all, Rei?" She asked as she settled him into her lap. Rei immediately pressed his ear to the gentle swell of her stomach and poked his thumb into his mouth.

"Well, maybe I told Daddy that big brother got a letter." He spoke around his thumb, and although it was hard to understand what he was saying his mother didn't scold him. Kagome believed that he'd grow out of it in due time.

"So this is where you disappeared off to, huh runt?" The word would have sounded harsh coming from anyone else, but Inuyasha's voice was only full of love for their child and maybe gentle teasing.

"Daddy!" Rei shouted and flung himself into his father's arms. Kagome was amused, but pretended to pout at being abandoned so quickly.

"What about mommy? Don't you want to cuddle longer?" She asked as Inuyasha swung their little boy around in circles, occasionally throwing him high in the air, only to catch him at the last possible moment. Kagome watched as their hair flew out around them in swirling clouds of silver and raven. She placed a hand to her belly and fervently hoped that her next child would be blessed with Inuyasha's hair color and not her own.

"Keh, he's a big boy now, he doesn't want to cuddle, he wants to go play in the dirt! The dirt's better than kisses and hugs any day!" But Inuyasha contradicted his self by leaning down and kissing her loudly on the lips. Their little boy wrinkled his nose and told his daddy that he was now infected by cooties.

"You're mother doesn't have cooties. She's too pretty to have cooties." Inuyasha informed his son as he plopped down beside his wife. "Go bother your big brother now so Mommy and Daddy can talk. He was writing a letter back to Rin last time I checked." He shooed the little boy back toward the village with a pat to his bottom. Rin giggled evilly and went running off to torture Shippou.

"You shouldn't have done that Inuyasha, it will only make them fight. Which means one of them will come running out here in a few minutes." She pointed out to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Keh, he's not really writing Rin back. Shippou promised to entertain the little one while I talked to you." He leaned over and nuzzled her neck and she giggled a bit as some of his silver hair tickled her chin. She reached up to rub his ears and was rewarded by his deep throated purring.

"My, you're in a mood today. Want to tell me what's on your mind?" She asked as he shifted to lay down beside her with his head cushioned in her lap. She smiled when he pressed one ear up against her stomach like their son had done earlier.

"I got you something." He said in lue of an actual answer and Kagome got the horrible feeling that she had lived through this moment before. Vaguely she remembered a dream and her darkened bedroom at her mother's house.

The smell of wildflowers had made her sick then.

Inuyasha was already pulling out an object wrapped in soft cloth from the inside of his red haori. He handed it over to her and watched with half-lidded amber eyes as she opened it with trembling fingers. This had been the moment when the dream had gone wrong. This had been the moment when her happiness shattered.

Like a mirror shatters.

But she sucked in a breath when she caught sight of what he'd given her; it wasn't a mirror at all, but a simple bracelet made of mother of pearl and silver. She was so relieved that she started to cry. Inuyasha didn't ask why she was crying, he just marked it up to hormones and pulled her into his lap for a hug. She didn't tell him either. Something's were better kept private. Besides, he'd only get mad and call her stupid anyway.

"Oh Inuyasha, I love it!" She told him when she'd finally gotten her tears under control. Kagome leaned down to give him a long lingering kiss and when she pulled away she heard him whisper.

"I've never regretted this choice for a moment."

-

Naraku was defeated.

Many people died, but more survived because that's how life works.

Sango and Miroku lived long full lives surrounded by their many children. Much to Miroku's distress all eight of them were girls. Sango decided, after she buried Kohaku next to their father, that her old village was not the place to raise her family. She wanted them to live in a happy place free of the haunting memories of the past. They made their home in Kaede's village, and their descendents are uncountable today.

Sesshomaru eventually learned to read Kagome's history book. He was very unhappy when Rin decided to marry Shippou, but he was secretly happy to know that her life would be prolonged by their bound.

As for Inuyasha and Kagome, they faded into history and became the stuff of legend. Their adventures did not end with Naraku, but continued on into the uncharted realms of parenthood and a somewhat peaceful life. It was never smooth sailing for long, but because of their great love for each other and their faith in that love, they were able to weather the storms.

THE END

-

No you're not crazy. Kagome did dream that scene in chapter 14…maybe?

I think it turned out better this time though…

And this is the final goodbye. I love you all. Thanks for following me all the way to the journey's end. I can never thank you enough.


End file.
